Once Seth left and I was certain Mort weren’t gonna do anything crazy, I ran upstairs to my apartment. Having a witch girlfriend was pretty handy. Sure, sometimes it meant waking up, reachin’ for a bottle of water and almost downing something what might make me break out in a case of the crazies, but that only happened once, maybe twice a week. But it also meant having a random assortment of witchy stuff left around my place which might come in handy in the event of a world ending showdown.
Unfortunately, Betty weren’t keen on labels, so most of the stuff I had to dismiss as pretty colored swirly stuff in bottles, but the stuff I was familiar with was more than enough. Especially the pink bottle of what looked and smelled like pixie puke. I didn’t know the name for it, mostly ‘cuz I called it pixie puke, but it was a powerful potion that masked my magic. I could still use it, but other magic users wouldn’t be able to detect it unless I tried to get into their head. Were it not for the stink, I’d wear this stuff daily.
I shoved the bottle in my pocket and looked around for anything I could use as a trap. Yeah, I had weapons, but here’s the thing: I weren’t no killer. There was plenty of folks on both sides what had no qualms about stabbing, shooting, biting or otherwise dead-makin’ and I weren’t gonna contribute unless I absolutely had to. Luckily for me, this was another reason having a witch, specifically a quasi-hippie witch, for a girlfriend came in handy. Alls I had to do was poke around in the kitchen cabinets to find a handful of traps, snares, nullifiers, and other whatnot to keep my former colleagues off my back.
I headed back down to the bar and much to my surprise, Mort had everything running pretty smoothly. Well, okay, maybe using magic to subtly refill some glasses so as folks wouldn’t leave weren’t the most ethical-like solution, but I’m sure it was making the regulars happy even if they weren’t aware of why. Sure, they was gonna have some nasty hangovers due to the nature of magic booze, but as far as I was concerned, they was gonna be lucky if they woke up with their souls intact. Not a bad tradeoff in my opinion.
“Oh come on, Hubie, don’t tell me you’re actually going out in that mess too.”
“I ain’t going after Ajhe if that’s what you’re worried about,” I assured him. “I’m gonna go keep an eye on Seth. I’m worried about him.”
“Seth? Eh, he’s just got some major insecurities. Thinks no one has any respect what with him being an Observer and all. Oh, and he’s worried something might happen to Des. He’ll never admit it, but he’s got some feelings for the big lug.”
“Seth told you all that?” Dang. Maybe Mort was cut out to be a bartender after all. If it weren’t for the fact that he’d balk at the idea of working for me, I’d have offered him a job.
“Told me? Man, you have gone soft! I didn’t ask the guy to tell me about his feelings. I just poked around a bit to see what crawled up his butt.”
Or maybe not.
“And he didn’t zap you for messing around in his head?”
“I’ve got skills,” he said with a smug look that made me think skills was some sort of code for some shifty back alley magic or maybe Seth was more out of it than I thought.
“Skills or no skills, I’m worried about the guy, so I’m going out there.”
I slipped out the front door, thinking it would be best if I didn’t bring no notice to the dragon that I knew was likely lurking around the back alley and not out in full view of the world. Yeesh! Even out the front, I weren’t prepared for what I walked into. Being in the Five Penny even for a few minutes made it easy to forget just how bad things was. Finding Seth through all this craziness and Discord weren’t gonna be easy. At least the purple haze in the sky told me they got the protection spell up. I didn’t want to think about what I woulda been stepping into if they didn’t.
I weren’t but a block away when I did end up steppin’ into something unpleasant. The alley behind Betty’s bakery was one of them spots where some of the dumber Discordant had a habit of congregatin’. I figured that were as good as any area to begin my search and besideways, I figured I could check on the bakery. Not that Betty weren’t the powerful type of responsible witch what throws at least five different wards up to protect her business, but sometimes a guy’s gotta do somethin’ to make himself feel strong and useful. Now, I weren’t a mouse and I weren’t a man, but apparently the best laid plans of demons ain’t immune to going awry neither.
“Well, well, well, if it ain’t the great traitor himself.”
I ain’t but made it five steps into the alley before my way was blocked on all sides by a ring of shadowy thugs. In the middle was an all too familiar scrawny figure in a sharp suit.
“Hey there, Ajhe. Fancy meetin’ you here.”
Chapter 4
Jem the Dragon Slayer
There was a dragon in Blackbird.
A dragon.
I’d only read about dragons, but from what I read, I’d really hoped that they were just some sort of myth or urban legend. If angels were bad, dragons were worse. Entire populations have been wiped out by a single dragon. Even Warriors have lost their souls to dragons. This is the kind of creature that requires a highly specialized skillset and probably loads of experience as an agent. So, who did we get to go after the dragon in Blackbird?
Me, that’s who.
Not Desmond, whose job was literally to get rid of the Discordant threat. Not my sister, who wanted nothing more than to be a Warrior. Not even Bogie, Seth, the witches or any of the other mystics who were also supposed to keep the town safe from Chaos. No, instead, I’m the one who was supposed to save the day and my only weapon was the fact that I can’t get mad. I could panic though. I was good at that, but I’m pretty sure panicking isn’t some kind of a secret weapon either.
I guess maybe I should have been flattered that I was recruited to keep folks from turning into Discordant pod people. I mean, out of all the people who were stronger, older, or had more experience, I was the only one who was supposedly strong enough to safely face a dragon. I should have felt smug that it was me and not Nai. I should have been able to gloat over the fact that she was the most likely to fall to a dragon and I got to play the role of hero for once, but I couldn’t.
Because I was scared.
I knew that dragons weren’t the giant, fire-breathing lizards from fairy tales that everyone thinks of, but instead of comforting me, this just somehow made them more terrifying. I could understand the threat of something that looked scary, even if it was kind of prejudiced to feel that way, but nothing was as terrifying as the unknown and a dragon’s physical form was a mystery. There were very few pictures of dragons and those that existed were useless anyway.
Dragons don’t actually have a physical form. Their images are manifested by those who are unlucky enough to look directly at them. The problem is, looking at a dragon typically ends with the soul manifesting all of their inner conflict and turmoil into the ultimate Discordant weapon. Usually when that happens, people don’t whip out their cameras or colored pencils.
* * *
The trip from Myrna’s to downtown was over way before I was ready. I had to literally drag myself out of the car and even then, it was like my legs were broken. I just kind of stood there, in the alley behind the Five Penny, not really seeing or paying attention to anything, but unable to fully ignore the insanity that was all around me. I could feel it. Not the dragon, exactly, but I could feel what it was doing.
“Jem?”
Seth’s voice was laced with concern. Not that I could blame him. He had plenty of time on the drive downtown to realize what an astronomically disastrous idea this was. I mean, really. The more I thought about it, the more I had to wonder if maybe Desmond wasn’t already under some sort of Discordant influence and was sending me to secure a win for team Chaos.
“Jem, you’re physically shaking. Are you okay? Do you need to sit down?”
“I-I-I don’t know,” I said and really meant it. Seth was right. I felt like a scared Chihuahua. “It’s a lot. I don
’t know if I can… Why me? I mean, weren’t you the one who was able to look into the eyes of an angel and survive? I couldn’t do that.”
“There was a reason I could stare down an angel.” Seth’s concern turned to something more like sympathy and he gave me a weak smile. “My reason for doing so was selfless and therefore I had nothing to fear from staring into my own soul, But Jem, that’s an angel. My odds against a dragon wouldn’t be as good. An angel preys upon guilt. A dragon preys upon our basest desires and the conflict in our souls, enslaving and creating puppets of Chaos. I’m afraid the very reason I was able to survive my encounter with an angel is the same reason I’d be easily overtaken by a dragon. My soul is full of conflict, Jem. Yours is not.”
“Well, I guess,” I said, still trying to gather up the thin wisps of my courage. “But Nai’s equally as imbalanced and she was ready to kill Des and become full-on Discordant.”
At that, Seth actually rolled his eyes at me. “Nai fell easily because she is the embodiment of all that dragons feed upon, Jem. Your sister’s soul is pure turmoil. Yours is pure calm. As easily as she fell, so shall you resist.”
“Um…”
I understood what Seth was trying to say and to be honest, his words had a calming enough effect that my legs began to work again, but I wasn’t ready to go charging into battle with a dragon.
“It’s close,” Seth said with a pained expression. He was protected by a charm, we all were, but even so, I could see the pain in his expression as he was trying to keep the bad thoughts away. “I’m heading into the bar. Find it, Jem, as quickly as you can.”
Before I could even think of a response, Seth was slamming the backdoor of the Five Penny behind him, leaving me all alone in the alley. I would have been offended, but I knew that the wards set up around the bar might have been the only thing protecting me from being mauled by a dragon-addled Seth and that thought freaked me out.
Okay fine, everything about the situation freaked me out. Especially the idea that I had to go looking for this thing. I could tell, much like Seth had, that it was near. It was a weird feeling, for sure, but at least Des was right and I didn’t feel like I was going to turn into a psycho like my sister. There wasn’t enough animosity in my soul for that, but still, I didn’t really want to get any closer to it either and that was the problem. The longer I delayed, the more souls we were losing and I didn’t need that on my conscience.
Somewhere, deeper into the darkness of the alley, a trash can fell over and I jumped. Of course, I felt stupid as soon as I did. Dragons weren’t like alley cats or stray dogs. I had serious doubts that a dragon would be hanging out in the alley, knocking over trash cans. Yeah, it was probably a cat. Or at worst, a pixie. Those guys were annoying, but at least I was immune to their goofy glitter. Even so, I was scared and that made me jumpy. Whatever was back there was on the move and it was coming right for me.
If I had been thinking clearly, I might have ran away or at the very least got out of the alley, but thinking clearly under pressure was never really my strong suit. I was more of a get-paralyzed-by-panic-and-freak-out kind of a guy, so that’s what I did. I stood there with my back pressed up against the wall, trying to stop my heart from pounding out of my chest while I waited for whatever it was to jump out and eat me.
I shut my eyes tight. I held my breath. I tried to physically melt into the wall behind me. I heard a faint click, like the sound of deadly claws scraping the pavement, growing ever louder. I could hear loud, snuffling breathing noises and suddenly something cold and wet touched my hand.
Somehow, I managed to not pee myself, but I’m pretty sure the noise that came out of my mouth wasn’t human. I opened my eyes, expecting to see something huge. Something intimidating. Something scary.
Something that didn’t look like a dog licking my hand.
“Boy, you sure gave me a scare,” I said with a shaky laugh as I bent down to get a better look at the stray mutt that had nearly given me a heart attack, mentally kicking myself for being such a coward. Seriously, how was it that I was supposed to face a dragon when I’m practically afraid of my own shadow?
The dog was some sort of medium sized mutt that looked like it might have been part lab, part spaniel, and something that gave it big, bulgy eyes and droopy jowls. In a way, it sort of looked a little like Bogie. It was the kind of ugly-cute that only a dog could pull off. Despite knowing I still had a job to do, my first instinct was to drop down to my knees, ruffle the thick fur on its neck, and start making an absolute fool of myself. Dogs have always had that kind of effect on me.
“Hey boy! Who’s a big scary dragon? Who? Oh yes you are! Who’s a big fuzza-wuzza?” I giggled as it slurped at my face with a big pink tongue. At the same time, I felt an unpleasant pull in my head and paused at the reminder of what I was supposed to be doing. The real dragon was still around. Closer, if the feeling in my head was any indication. I tried to stand up, but the mutt wasn’t having it and smacked at my hand as if telling me to get back to the scrubbing.
“Ugh! Sorry boy,” I said with a giggle at the almost human pout he gave me. Again, the tugging in my head got worse. “I gotta go save the universe from a…” My voice faltered as I put two and two together. “No way…”
I stared into the dog’s big, goofy eyes, looking for any sign that it was more than a friendly stray. Nothing. It stared back, too long tongue lolling to one side, and yet… Somehow… Yep! There it was again.
“No way. You’re the dragon?”
The only reply was another sloppy slurp to the side of my face and another attempt to get inside my head.
“You are! And you’re trying to use your cuteness against me! Is somebody trying to be a bad doggie?” I cooed, trying not to laugh at the perturbed expression that crossed its face. Again, I felt the dragon in my head. It wasn’t an entirely pleasant sensation, but the knowledge that I was really and truly immune to its power was a humongous load off. So much so that I was downright giddy with relief.
“Is someone trying to turn my Discordant nature against me?” I said in a sing-song voice. “Too bad, so sad!” The dragon growled when it discovered the anomalous secret that kept me safe. Not only was I already imbalanced, but I’d also inherited most of the Discordant nature that had been passed down when our father had been possessed.
I really was safe. Desmond was right and I felt kind of foolish for having doubted him, but at the same time, it wasn’t like I knew the dragon was just going to be as harmless as a stray dog.
“Hey!”
Okay, so not all stray dogs are harmless. Apparently in my relief, I wasn’t paying enough attention, or maybe it was just mad that it couldn’t get into my head, but the dragon growled and snapped, nipping my arm hard enough to draw blood.
“Bad dragon!” I whacked the creature lightly on the nose, causing it to yelp and bow its head, appropriately shamed.
Hmm. I had to wonder at that. I mean, it was pretty obvious that the dog act was a ploy to get me to let my guard down, but it was a pretty convincing act. I mean, what kind of a jerk would I have to be to be mean to a dog?
“Jem?”
I turned to see Desmond. At least, it sounded like Desmond, and was around the same size as Desmond, and wore the same clothes as Desmond, but the welding mask he wore as protection made it impossible to see his face. The dragon tried to pull away from me, snarling and growling at Des, who took a step back.
“Hey!” I said, giving the dragon another whap on the nose. “Heel!” I reached out and pulled it back, pushing down on the creature’s back end until it understood my command to sit.
“Jem,” Desmond’s sigh echoed under his mask. “Despite appearances, that thing is not a dog. You would do well to remember that you are supposed to be keeping it away from people.”
“I know, but… it kind of acts like a dog,” I said with a sheepish grin. “I figured if it acted like a dog, I could train it like a dog and it kind of worked. That’s good, right?”
“It is… Interesting to say the least. Hang on a moment…”
Desmond muttered something into his pocket. I couldn’t hear him from the combination of the helmet and the magic of his jacket, but a second later, he pulled out a leash and handed it to me. As soon as I took it, the dragon tried to wiggle out of my grip.
“See? I said, trying to wrestle the harness over its head. “It acts just like my dog used to whenever I tried to get him dressed up for a walk.”
“I expect that the struggling has more to do with the dampening properties of the harness than anything else.”
“Maybe,” I said with a shrug as I finally clasped the two ends around its belly. “But I’m willing to bet that with a little training, this guy would make a great pet.”
“Jem.” Desmond’s voice had that familiar edge of frustration that I’d come to recognize as the one he normally reserved for Nai. “When all is said and done, if we manage to survive, I will take you to the animal shelter and we can pick out a dog. Any dog you’d like, but for the love of all that is right and balanced in this world, please be mindful of what you are doing.”
“Um, I… Of course,” I stammered. I mean, he was right, but still. “You aren’t going to…” I trailed off with a look at the huge, bloody knife in Desmond’s hand.
“I can’t simply kill a dragon,” he said in a voice that told me he was disappointed about that. “But Jem, you need to keep a level head. That is not a dog and yes, we are going to have to deal with the situation appropriately. Do you understand this?”
I nodded, thinking it best not to speak. I did understand, but that didn’t make it any better.
“Good. It’s getting late and the bars will be out soon. I need you and the dragon to disappear.”
“I, uh… I don’t know how to do that…” I stammered.
Rise of the Discordant: The Complete Five Book Series Page 73
