On a Gamble

by Rose Lange

  Oh. Dear. God. This feels so damned good.

  The moment swallowed her up whole, and her tummy would soon drop to the floor, if he continued kissing her this way. She opened her eyes, knowing without words he loved her, and despite everything that had transpired between them, she loved him. Wanted him. Even if he hadn’t said the words out loud, she knew he felt the same way.

  Wordlessly, he pulled back, smiling that sly sexy smile of his before turning away.

  She watched him fiddle with his iPod for a few minutes, before the smooth voice of Dean Martin’s “You belong to me,” filled the condo. He turned, his heated gaze fixated on her, warming her from head to toe and every place in between. The music, the soft lighting, the man, made her feel all lit up inside.

  He held out his hand. “Dance with me?”

  Charlie walked toward him, enfolding herself in his warm, solid embrace, reveling in him, in this incredibly romantic moment. She nuzzled against his cheek, his scent, earthy and masculine, invaded her nostrils. The light from the foyer spilled into the living room, casting a soft glow over their bodies.

  Then, his mouth met hers in a soft, gentle kiss. Still on fire from the way he’d kissed her earlier, she whispered, “Take me upstairs, Alex.”

  Without saying a word, he scooped her in his arms, and made his way upstairs. She giggled into the crook of his neck, and Dean Martin’s voice faded away slowly as Alex climbed the stairs.

  He laid her on the bed, and she sat up. Making short work of unbuttoning her blouse, but her clumsy fingers were all thumbs. She barely made it halfway before noticing he stood at the foot of the bed. And made no move to come closer, or remove his clothing. She frowned. “What’s wrong?”

  Alex put his hands on his hips, staring at the floor instead of at her. “It’s nothing, I’m just not in the mood right now.”

  Her body and soul wanted him, and now he’d put out the flame. “You’ve been giving a good imitation so far. What’s the matter?”

  “If it’s all the same to you, let’s just go to bed.”

  Charlie blew out a frustrated breath, but in the end didn’t have the energy to argue. She decided it was okay, that as long as they were together, sex wasn’t important right now. Quietly, she made her way to the bathroom, grabbed her spare pajamas, and brushed her teeth.

  But when she came back out, he wasn’t there. She shrugged, thinking maybe he needed space. Crawling under the covers, she drifted off to sleep, and couldn’t help but smile.

  A cloudy morning greeted Charlie as she rolled over in bed. Blindly, she reached for Alex only to come up empty. She popped her eyes open, and it appeared his side had never been slept in. Where on earth had he slept if not next to her? But she didn’t feel like getting out of bed just yet. She grabbed the remote control and turned on the morning news.

  “Morning,” Alex greeted as he strolled into the bedroom, heading for the shower.

  “Hey, where were you last night?”

  “I’m sorry. I fell asleep downstairs reading.” He evaded her altogether as he went into the bathroom, and shut the door.

  Charlie rolled her eyes, and set down the remote. She turned her attention to the top news stories of the morning, smiling like a fool, because nothing could ruin this happy day. Even if they hadn’t made love last night, or declared their feelings, she knew he cared for her. Things would be okay.

  “In local business news, George and Alex McCray, of McCray Developments, are at a standstill in discussions for a new project. A bed and breakfast . . .”

  Her smile faded. She sat up straight in bed, her eyes not wanting to believe what they were seeing.

  Alex. Her Alex, on T.V. wearing a navy blue suit, and tie. His dad sat next to him, talking about the latest business deal. Her farm was splattered all over the television. She tried to catch a breath, tried to move, but shock glued her to the bed. Her brain was incapable of thought, full of wet, clumpy sawdust, making it impossible to think. This had to be a horrible dream.

  Alex, the business deal, and her farm, were all she could think of right now.

  Flashbacks of the last couple months whirled through her mind. Images of their intimate moments made her stomach twist, and churn in painful knots. She’d been naked with him in so many ways, and not just physically, emotionally. In every single way you could be naked with a man, telling him things she’d never told anybody before. After all this time, he wasn’t the man she thought he was.

  Damn the man, he’d lied to her. She’d fallen hopelessly in love with a stranger.

  “Hey, Charlie.” His voice filtered from the bathroom door. “I thought we’d grab breakfast, and then go see a movie later this afternoon. How about it?”

  Seconds later, the door opened, and he stood there. Wearing nothing but a damned towel, looking sexy as usual, water rivulets cascaded down his chest, hair still damp from the shower, but none of that mattered. Because she couldn’t think straight, and even though she felt like it, she hoped to God she’d not throw up. The man in front of her was a stranger. Fisting the sheets in her hands, rage ripped through her, knocking her over like a tidal wave.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked, coming closer, but she didn’t want to be within ten yards of him right now.

  She thrust both hands in the air, making him halt in his tracks. This had all been too good to be true. “Don’t. Come. Near me.”

  His eyes connected with the television set, then roved back to her, and his face fell. “Charlie, I can explain—”

  Tossing the covers aside, she grabbed her clothes. “I don’t want to hear it!”

  As quickly as her legs would carry her, she took solace in the bathroom down the hall, needing to put as much distance between them as she could. Slamming the door, she made quick work of getting dressed. She had to get the hell out of here. Quickly.

  As she removed her pajamas, and put one pant leg in followed by the other, tears blinded her. She gritted her teeth against her frail self-control, but the tears came anyway. Fresh, and hot, spilling at a rapid rate down her cheeks as the magnitude of everything that had transpired crushed her under its weight. Losing control, falling in love, the loss of her baby, and now finding out Alex had a secret agenda. There was only so much she could take.

  Only last night they’d shared the most romantic dance, reconciliation on the horizon. And sure, he hadn’t professed his love for her or anything, but knew he cared for her a great deal.

  As she stood in front of the mirror buttoning her blouse with shaking fingers, she studied her reflection, angry with herself. Angry that another man had fooled her.

  He lied about his true identity. Just thinking of it made her blood race in her veins. The last few months whirled through her mind. She’d fallen in love with a complete, and total stranger. Had given him her heart on a silver platter, and he’d broken it, the pain sliced her heart in two.

  Several knocks, delivered in rapid succession, snapped her mind back to the present. “If you would let me explain, Charlie. Please open the door.”

  Putting on her brave face, she swiped the tears from her cheeks, and gathered her things with haste. She opened the door, only to find his barrel of a chest, blocking her gateway to freedom. Meeting his gaze, the pain evident and written all over his handsome face, and damn it, desire swiftly entered her being before she could stop it, because he still wore that cursed towel around his waist.

  Charlie mentally chastised herself for being such a damned weakling, and allowing him to break down already weakened defenses, anger churned, swift, relentless, and without mercy as she remembered his deception. “Get the fuck out of my way,” she bit off.

  “Please hear me out.”

  Charlie scoffed. “Not a chance, Mr. McCray. If that’s even your real name.”

  Looking up into his face, she watched hi
s jawline harden in frustration, and annoyance crossed his features. “Yes, that’s my real name. Jesus, let me explain.”

  “Explain? Explain what? How you used me, and my family to get ahead in your work? Not a chance. Now get the hell out of the way.” She brushed past him without a backward glance. Snuffing out his chance to further respond, because it would hurt too much to look at him for a second longer.

  As angry as she was for his lie, she still loved him, but pushed those feelings way down deep, didn’t need them messing with her head. Escape was all she could think of.

  “I never meant to hurt you, please believe me.”

  Putting her shoes on, she grabbed her keys off the table in the foyer. “It. Is. Over. How can I ever trust you again? I don’t even know you. You’re nothing but a liar.”

  “I’m still the same person, Charlie.” And with this he came closer.

  As if he carried some fatal disease, she backed up. Even if it hurt to look at him, she looked into his eyes. Praying for strength. “No, you’re not. Here all this time. I made a total fool of myself. I let you in. I trusted you. Leave me alone, and don’t ever try to contact me again.”

  Opening the door, she stood there for a moment. “I guess it’s a curse then. Because everybody I’ve ever loved has either left me or betrayed me.”

  “Charlie, wait—”

  She slammed the door, cutting him off. New tears sprang to her eyes, blurring her vision as she made a hasty retreat. Furiously she wiped them away, angry with herself for crying in the first place. Now was not the time to cry. Getting in her truck, her fingers shook as she put the keys in the ignition. Not bothering to allow the cabin to warm, she peeled out of the driveway.

  As she drove, everything became clear. It all made sense now. The way he wouldn’t take her back to his place originally, not wanting her to see how he really lived. Then making up a phony reason for his condo. The way he was so quiet and secretive in the beginning. Everything suddenly made all the sense in the world.

  Some savior he turned out to be.

  Then, precious memories seeped into her mind. The way he looked at her, those brown eyes so warm, inviting, smoldering. The way he kissed her, and held her. The way he made love to her. Self-disgust curled in her stomach, making her empty belly hurt. He’d slowly broken down the barriers she’d so carefully erected, worn them down the nub, made her learn to trust again, to love again, only to have it turn out to be another epic fail.

  My God, would this pain ever end? She’d been betrayed twice now. Only this time the hurt went down deep in her soul, deep, full, breaking her heart into a million tiny pieces all over again, as her world shattered and crumbled.

  Chapter 13

  Two whole, agonizing weeks passed since she’d last seen, or heard from Alex. Not that she should be complaining, because it was, after all, what she wanted. It’s what she’d asked for, to be left alone. But damn it, she missed him, even though she hated to admit it.

  As she lay in bed one morning, his face entered her mind’s eye. Memories of their time together grabbed hold, and her heart pounded. It wasn’t just the intimate moments, but the dates they’d been on, dancing underneath a white canopy of stars. Working side by side on the farm every day. And who could forget that swim in the watering hole? Riding horses and getting caught in the rain, followed by that delicious, sinful kiss.

  She brought a hand to her lips, willing the memories away, but there was no hope. The most difficult place to try and rid of him would be the imprint he’d left on her soul.

  Despite everything, she knew Alex had a good heart. He made her feel cherished, loved, but she couldn’t get past his deception. Humiliation curled in her stomach, thinking back to when he’d first arrived, and how she thought he was an answer to her prayers. What a fool she’d been, to have swiftly fallen under his spell.

  It was over, and she needed to come to terms with it sooner rather than later.

  As she slowly made her way out of bed, there was a light knock at the door. “Yes?”

  “Charlie, honey, its Grandma. Can I come in?”

  She swung her legs over the bed. “Come in.”

  Her grandma came in, and sat next to her, laying a reassuring hand over hers.

  Charlie’s vision blurred as tears welled in her eyes, and without saying a word, Grandma Pearl pulled her in for a hug. That’s when she lost it. Her body became wracked with uncontrollable sobs. She wanted to kick her own ass, hating what this break-up had done to her, for a second time. After the divorce, she’d made a vow to herself that she wouldn’t let another man break her heart, allow him to affect her this way.

  “Do you want to talk about it?” Grandma asked.

  Frankly she was surprised that she’d waited this long to ask. “It’s no use. It’s over.”

  Her grandma pulled back, an assessing you’re-not-fooling-anybody-gaze on her face. “Oh, darling. I highly doubt that.”

  “What makes you so sure, Grandma?”

  “Because he’s in love with you. Anybody with eyes can see it,” she said.

  The words pierced her heart, wishing she were so sure of it. In light of everything that happened, she wouldn’t bet on it. She just wished this were all a nightmare that she would soon wake up from. That she’d never met Alex.

  Then again, she also couldn’t imagine her life without him. These past few weeks had been extremely lonely without him, but she couldn’t see past the fact that he’d lied to her from the very beginning. She’d been fooled not once, but twice now. “He lied to me.”

  Her grandma gave a decisive nod. “Yes, he did. He was here to do a job. But, are you sure he even got what he came here for? Seems to me the moment he laid eyes on you, the business deal took a permanent back seat.”

  “I just can’t forgive him right now, Grandma.”

  “Well, just think things over, and do what your heart tells you to do.” With that her grandma left the room.

  Leave it to her grandma to say something like that, words that made sense. Oddly enough her grandparents weren’t angry in the least when they’d found out his true identity. They weren’t thrilled that he’d lied, but if grandma’s words were true, that he was in love with her. Her eyes closed as she daydreamed, picturing his handsome face.

  Realizing as angry as she was with him, she longed for the comfort of his arms, to breath in his intoxicatingly sexy, all male, all Alex scent. And it made her heart break all over again.

  Alex came out of hibernation after several days. Showering, he quickly got dressed. He’d go to his dad’s office, knowing what had to be done. Besides, it beat the hell out of loafing around here. Photographic, sharp images of Charlie lay scattered everywhere: the kitchen counter, the living room in front of a roaring fire, the front door, the bedroom. Every spot still contained her essence. Even in memory, the woman drove him crazy. He missed her like hell.

  As he drove, that night of her visit sprang to mind. He’d never expected to see Charlie’s truck in his driveway.

  That night, after she’d fallen asleep, he’d sat up and thought about how he would finally tell her. Then that morning over breakfast he’d beg her forgiveness, and ask her to marry him. But things had gone from bad to worse so quickly. His mind still spun to think about it.

  A half hour later, he strolled into the office, past the receptionist and her suggestive glances. He rolled his eyes, and kept walking.

  He shut the door behind him, and set his briefcase below the desk. Taking a seat, he leaned back, watching the early morning skyline, but couldn’t focus on a damned thing.

  A sharp knock sounded at the door, and he turned to see his dad walk in, a solemn expression on his face.

  “What’s up?” He knew it was less than formal, and would piss his dad off. But he didn’t care.

  His dad frown
ed, shutting the door behind him. “Good morning, Alex. I’m glad to see you back in the office, son.”

  Alex didn’t say anything.

  “Have you heard from Charlie?”

  “Not a thing. Why?”

  “Well, the business deal fell through. We’re looking at another piece of land.” But he didn’t look too thrilled about it.

  It was now or never. “I’m resigning.”

  His dad’s head snapped up. “Why the hell would you do something like that?”

  Alex stood. Putting his hands on the desk, he met his dad’s ferocious gaze. “Because I don’t want to be a part of any of this anymore.”

  “Son, don’t make any rash decisions. This is what you wanted.”

  He laughed humorlessly. “No, it’s what you wanted for me, Dad, it’s not what I wanted. Consider this my two weeks’ notice.” With this he stepped out of the room, in desperate need of air.

  No more than a few paces down the hall, his cell phone vibrated in his pocket. Charlie’s number flashed across the screen, and his heart pulsated, thrilled and scared all at once. Fumbling to get a hold of it, he didn’t hesitate to answer. “Hello?”

  “Alex, it’s Pearl. How are you?”

  Alex smiled, her comforting voice filtered through the line. A one in a million grandma, Charlie was lucky to have her. He stepped into an empty conference room for some privacy. “Hi, Pearl. I’m fine, how are you doing?”

  By all accounts, considering he’d had ulterior motives for being there, coupled with the fact that he’d lied to them and Charlie, she should be boiling mad at him. Honestly, he was surprised she would even call him.

  “Just fine, darling.” An unmistakable hint of a smile laced her voice. The term of endearment warmed his heart.