Fighting with Shadows

by Beryl Matthews

  If Angie had been impressed with the entrance hall, she fell in love with the library. It was warm, inviting and very homely. A room where you could relax and be comfortable.

  ‘Please do sit down.’ Mrs Strachan went over to a table laden with tea and lovely things to eat. ‘I’m sorry Robert isn’t here to greet you. He’s had to go out, but will be back in time for lunch. I thought we would be more comfortable in here. It’s our favourite room in the house.’

  Emma was standing by the table on tiptoe to get a better view of the food, while Danny had spied the piano and was edging his way towards it.

  ‘Ah, I see your boy is interested in music.’ Mrs Strachan handed Angie a cup of tea.

  ‘Yes, he’s learning to play and read music.’

  ‘Inherited that gift from his father, no doubt.’ She smiled at Dieter. ‘When you’ve had your tea, I’m hoping to be able to persuade you to play for me.’

  ‘Of course, madam.’ Dieter drained his cup and stood up. ‘What would you like to hear?’

  ‘I would love Beethoven’s Piano Sonata No. 8, if that is possible. It’s one of my favourites but is too much for me, I’m afraid.’ She gave Dieter an appealing look. ‘And then perhaps the Warsaw Concerto?’

  ‘It would be my pleasure.’ Dieter made his way through the archway to the piano.

  Danny was already gazing at it in wonder.

  ‘The music is in the stool.’ Mrs Strachan had followed Dieter. ‘I shall turn the pages for you.’

  ‘Thank you. It is some time since I have played this piece.’

  ‘He’s gonna play that great big piano.’ Danny tore back to Angie, his face alight with pleasure.

  ‘Won’t that be lovely?’ Angie spun Danny round again as he reached her, giving him a little push. ‘Go and sit near him. He won’t mind.’

  Needing no further encouragement, he crept back and sat on a chair where he could see clearly.

  With the music on the stand and Mrs Strachan standing by to turn the pages, Dieter began to play.

  As the music filled the room no one moved, not even Emma, as Sally had a tight hold on her. Angie had never heard this before and watched in amazement as Dieter’s hands flew over the keys in some sections. And the second piece had such power she could see Bob’s mother was moved by it.

  ‘My God,’ the General murmured, ‘the boy is wonderful.’

  When the piece ended, there was utter silence. It was as if everyone was afraid to break the spell by speaking.

  It was Danny who spoke first. He got off the chair and stood beside Dieter. ‘What was that? And how did you make your fingers move so fast?’

  ‘Years and years of practice.’

  ‘My dear chap.’ The General strode towards the piano. ‘You should be earning your living by teaching and playing, not labouring on a farm.’

  ‘Perhaps one day I shall be able to do that, but for the moment I must stay where I am.’

  ‘Understand.’ He patted Dieter’s shoulder and smiled at his wife. ‘We must see what we can do for this talented young man, my dear.’

  His wife nodded. ‘I’ve already set things moving.’

  ‘Good, good. Now, Danny, you’ve heard how excellent your father is. You’ll have to practise very hard to be as good as he is one day.’

  ‘I do practise – every day.’ He glanced up at Dieter. ‘Don’t I?’

  ‘You do, and if you keep it up you will be better than me.’

  Danny didn’t look as if he quite believed that, but he flushed at the praise. ‘You said I could see your uniform, General.’

  ‘So I did. Bring Emma and we’ll go upstairs right now.’

  When the three of them left the room, Dieter said to Mrs Strachan, ‘Will you now play for us, madam?’

  ‘After listening to such artistry I do hesitate, for I cannot match your skill or touch. However, I did promise, so I shall play something a little easier. What do you suggest?’

  ‘Moonlight Sonata? That is one of Danny’s favourites.’

  ‘Ah, yes.’ She sat on the seat vacated by Dieter. ‘I believe I can manage that.’

  In fact she more than managed it. Angie knew the piece by now, for it was the one Mrs Poulton had played when she had first taken Danny for lessons. It was so beautiful.

  ‘You are an excellent pianist,’ Dieter said when she had finished.

  ‘Ah, that is kind of you, but I play only for my own enjoyment.’

  At that moment the children came tearing back into the room, faces glowing with excitement.

  ‘The General’s got loads of medals.’ Danny held out a small badge for Angie to see. ‘Look, I can keep this. Em’s got one too. Ain’t it smashing!’

  ‘It’s lovely, darling. You must take good care of it.’

  ‘Oh, I will.’ Danny rushed over to Dieter and showed him as well. ‘Did you have things like this on your uniform?’

  Angie’s eyes misted over as she watched Dieter admiring the badge. She had been right. Danny had accepted him very quickly and was now going to him quite naturally. It was an encouraging step forward. He wasn’t calling him Daddy yet, but she was sure that would soon come.

  ‘I did, but all I have left are the fabric Luftwaffe badges.’

  ‘Will you show me?’ Danny was swinging on his leg.

  ‘Of course, I shall find them and bring them to you tomorrow.’

  ‘What’s luft …?’ Emma, who had joined them, couldn’t get her tongue around the word.

  ‘It means the German Air Force.’

  ‘What a funny word.’ Nevertheless, she appeared impressed as she showed him her badge. ‘You got pictures in your uniform?’

  ‘A couple, yes.’

  ‘Show us!’ Both children spoke at the same time.

  Dieter took the wallet out of his pocket and produced the photos, as everyone crowded round to have a look. One was of him standing beside a Dornier bomber with the rest of his crew; the other had been taken in the POW camp at Goathurst, with Bob talking to him and leaning on a walking stick.

  ‘That’s Uncle Bob.’ Emma pointed, as sharp-eyed as usual.

  ‘He was in charge of the prisoner-of-war camp. I expect he was telling us off for doing something we shouldn’t have been.’

  ‘Did they lock you up?’ Danny knew what prisoner meant.

  ‘Yes, for a very long time.’

  Emma was more interested in the aeroplane. ‘That’s very big.’

  ‘Pass them round, Dieter.’ Joe took one of them from his daughter, who looked as if she was going to keep it.

  When they reached Angie, she studied the one of him with his crew and saw a group of young men, relaxed and laughing. Her heart ached for them. They had only been boys, and now they were all dead, all except Dieter. Once they had been the enemy; now they would have been friends – if they had lived. What a terrible waste of life the war had been.

  ‘Did you have to do what Uncle Bob told you?’ Danny wasn’t finished with the interesting subject.

  ‘We did; he was very stern.’ Dieter smiled easily. ‘But we got up to all sorts of things he never knew about.’

  The General laughed. ‘I can imagine, but it must have been hard for you to spend so many years as a prisoner.’

  Dieter sobered at the memory. ‘My greatest deprivation was not having a piano. I used to spend long times just going through the music, listening to it in my head and imagining my fingers on the keys. It was the only way I had to keep up with the practice. When I went to work at the farm, they had an old piano. It needed tuning and I did this in my spare time, until it was in a good-enough condition to play. That was a great joy for me.’

  At that moment Bob arrived wearing his uniform. The children stood up straight and saluted, receiving one of Bob’s best in smart military style, making everyone laugh.

  ‘I apologize for not being here when you arrived, but I had to go up to London unexpectedly.’

  ‘Dieter was telling us how you tried to keep them in order at the camp.�
�� His father chuckled. ‘I felt sorry for the poor devils when they gave you that posting, for you were in a foul mood after being refused permission to return to the fight.’

  ‘Ah, yes.’ Bob gave Dieter a wry smile. ‘It took some doing. They were an enterprising bunch, but I don’t believe for one moment that they were frightened of me.’

  ‘You’re just in time, Robert.’ His mother kissed his cheek. ‘Lunch will be ready in fifteen minutes.’

  The phone rang and Mrs Strachan waved her husband down again as he began to get up. ‘I’ll take that in the other room. It’s probably the call I’ve been waiting for.’

  It was almost half an hour before she returned, full of apologies. ‘I am so sorry to have kept you waiting. We had better go in to lunch, or Cook will be cross with me.’

  Both children were well behaved at the table. Emma knew this was the one place her mother insisted on good manners.

  The meal of soup, succulent lamb and trifle with fresh cream was thoroughly enjoyed by everyone. There was cheese to finish, but Angie couldn’t manage another mouthful. There was a good deal of lively talk and laughter round the table. Bob’s mother seemed rather pleased after her long phone call.

  Coffee was taken in the library, and, as Angie watched the maid busy with the cups, she wondered what it would be like to have staff to cook your meals and wait on you all the time. Her family had been considered well off, as they had owned their houses, and she’d had a decent education, but her background didn’t compare with this sort of wealth and luxury.

  Her gaze turned to Bob, who was talking with Joe and laughing about something. The soldier she had met on the train had become a friend – and more than a friend. They were attracted to each other, he got on well with Danny, and she hadn’t looked further than that.

  ‘Children!’ The General clapped his hands to gain their attention. ‘Why don’t you look behind the chair in the corner? There might be something there for you.’

  Danny and Emma couldn’t move fast enough and, after scrambling on their hands and knees, emerged triumphant with a parcel each. The paper was torn away with cries of delight. A colouring book and a box of coloured pencils were inside.

  They thanked Bob’s parents nicely, without any prompting, then sprawled on the carpet and began to fill in the pictures. Silence reigned as they concentrated.

  ‘That was very astute of you,’ Joe laughed.

  ‘We didn’t want them becoming bored.’ Mrs Strachan gazed fondly at the children.

  Bob stood up, walked over to Angie and said something to her.

  She nodded and they left the room together.

  Dieter noticed the gentle squeeze of Angie’s shoulder as Bob spoke to her. He knew Bob was returning to Berlin the next day, so was he going to take this opportunity to propose?

  They made a fine couple, and he couldn’t blame Angie if she took this chance for a secure future, but how he wished she hadn’t fallen for a career soldier. If it had been someone who lived in this country, they could have worked something out. He watched his golden son with a heavy heart. Wherever Angie decided to go, he would have to follow her. He couldn’t give up Danny.

  It was half an hour before they returned, but Dieter could deduce nothing from their expressions. He waited anxiously for an announcement to say they were engaged, but nothing happened. So they were keeping to themselves whatever had been discussed.

  Mrs Strachan claimed his attention by asking how Danny was enjoying his piano lessons. Dieter pushed his concerns aside. He liked this charming, aristocratic-looking woman very much. She reminded him of his own mother.

  ‘Dieter, I realize that you want to stay near your son, but would you allow me to see if I can find you more suitable employment?’

  ‘Doing what, madam?’

  ‘I was thinking of a music master in a school somewhere.’

  He started in surprise. ‘But that would not be possible.’

  ‘Why not? You’ve had a good education, have you not?’

  ‘It was cut short by the war, but, yes, I have been well educated.’

  She nodded. ‘That is evident, and you are obviously qualified to teach music. You have a slight accent, but your English is excellent.’ She studied him thoroughly. ‘What is your objection?’

  ‘I do not object. It is something I would love to do, but I am German.’

  Her eyes opened wide in surprise. ‘What difference does that make?’

  ‘Parents may not like to have a German teaching their children.’

  ‘You are quite wrong about that, Dieter.’ She reached out and touched his arm. ‘The war is over, and many prisoners of war opted to remain in this country. There are Germans and people of other nationalities making new lives for themselves here, and they are welcome. You can do the same. Let me make inquiries for you.’

  ‘Thank you.’ Dieter was touched by her sincerity. ‘I should be most grateful for your help.’

  ‘Leave it with me. Now, we must have tea before you all return home. It has been such a pleasant day.’

  The refreshments were brought in, but Dieter couldn’t eat a thing. He wouldn’t allow his hopes to rise too much, but if he could have a teaching position it would solve a few problems. He would earn more money, and with decent holidays he could travel to wherever Danny was and spend time with him. It wasn’t ideal, of course, because he wanted to be with him all the time. But if he could establish himself in a good job and find a house for himself, perhaps Danny would come to stay with him in the holidays.

  He put a stop to his planning. Mrs Strachan meant well, but this might come to nothing. Nevertheless, it had made him think. He must not sit around worrying what Angie intended to do. He must build a future for himself in this country.

  It was time to put the past behind him.

  29

  As the Rolls-Royce drove away with everyone waving, Bob felt his mother slip her hand through his arm.

  ‘Come inside. I wouldn’t be surprised if it snowed soon.’

  Back in the library, Bob warmed his hands by the fire. ‘Hope the bad weather holds off until I get back to Berlin.’

  ‘I want you to take this with you.’ She handed him the photograph of Dieter. ‘You may need it if we can trace his family.’

  Bob took the picture and pursed his lips. ‘You’re wasting your time, Mother. If they had been alive, we would have found them by now.’

  ‘I know.’ She sighed sadly. ‘But you know our little group has had some success, and we shall see what we can do for him. It must be terrible not knowing for sure what happened to them. I believe that if he could, at least, know where they are buried, he would be able to get on with his life.’

  ‘I agree, but it might only be a communal grave.’

  ‘Even that would help, if we can find it. Perhaps he would be able to grieve properly at last, for I doubt that he has done that.’

  He slipped the photograph into his wallet and smiled at his mother. She cared so much about the plight of displaced persons. ‘Of course it will.’

  ‘The phone call I received before lunch was to tell me that two of our team have arrived in Germany. I have taken the liberty of giving them your address and phone number, should they need your help.’ She tipped her head on one side and held his gaze. ‘I hope you don’t mind, but you may be able to cut through the bureaucracy.’

  ‘I’ll be pleased to help.’ Bob still wasn’t very happy about this enterprise. ‘I hope you haven’t raised Dieter’s hopes.’

  ‘I’m not a fool, Robert.’ She spoke sharply. ‘All we have said is that we will see if we can find out anything. No more than that.’

  Bob held up his hand. ‘I didn’t intend to criticize you. I’m concerned for Dieter, that is all. He was in a state when we found him, and he looks so much better now.’

  ‘We will be cautious. He is a fine young man. In fact they are all lovely people.’ She had a speculative gleam in her eyes. ‘Is there something between you and Angie?’

>   ‘Mind your own business, Mother.’ He hid his amusement, knowing that he was about to receive a grilling.

  ‘Never. So, do I take it that you are more than fond of her?’

  He knew he would tell her in the end, but for the moment he would make her wait. ‘I’ve talked things over with Angie and we have come to an agreement.’

  ‘What kind of an agreement?’

  Bob grinned. ‘As I’ve already said, mind your own business, Mother. This is between Angie and me.’

  ‘That is where you are wrong!’ She was becoming exasperated with him. ‘There is the child and his father; you cannot ignore them.’

  ‘I am well aware of that.’ Bob studied his mother through narrowed eyes. ‘I can almost see your mind working. I know I can be a selfish bastard at times, but I wouldn’t hurt them. Don’t you trust me to do what is best for all concerned, regardless of my own personal wishes?’

  ‘You are a tough, determined man, and I do not believe you would knowingly hurt them, but I believe you like the girl, and if you marry her you will be causing a lot of anguish. You find her attractive, and the idea of a ready-made family appealing.’

  ‘You know me so well.’ He had teased her enough, so he leant forward and squeezed her hand. ‘Don’t worry – Angie is a sensible girl, and’ – his mouth twisted in a sad smile – ‘I don’t think she loves me.’

  ‘Ah.’ His mother smiled then. ‘Then she is a sensible girl. That must have been a shock for you.’

  Bob tipped his head back and roared with laughter. ‘You have a very low opinion of your elder son.’

  ‘I know his faults and love him still. Marry for love, Robert.’

  ‘I did that the first time,’ he said, shaking his head.

  ‘I won’t fall into that trap again. If I do marry again, it will be for comfort and companionship.’

  ‘And Angie would fit the bill, would she?’

  ‘She would.’ Bob prowled the room. ‘If it were only the two of us, I would try to persuade her to marry me, but Dieter and the boy complicate things.’