Fighting with Shadows

by Beryl Matthews

  ‘So you have decided to walk away?’

  ‘Oh, no.’ Bob smiled at his mother. ‘I am going to be Danny’s uncle, and Angie’s friend.’

  ‘And how does Angie feel about that?’

  ‘She agrees it’s for the best.’ Bob sat down and stretched out his legs. There was no way he was going to tell her what else he had proposed to Angie. ‘The main passion in her life is Danny, and you know that half-measures would never suit me.’

  Mrs Strachan poured herself a cup of tea from the fresh tray that had just been brought in, and then measured out a small whisky. She gave the whisky to her son. ‘This couldn’t have been an easy decision for you, but you have done the right thing.’

  Bob drained the drink in one go and grimaced. ‘You’re right it wasn’t easy; I was sorely tempted. She’s a fine young woman, but I could have ended up hurting everyone, including myself. I’m not good husband material.’

  ‘Sadly that’s true, but you’re a good man none the less.’

  ‘I thank you for those few kind words.’ He held out his glass for a refill, a gleam in his eyes. ‘Of course, I could change my mind, tell everyone to go to hell, and take what I want.’

  His mother gave him a withering look. ‘Robert, I do despair of you at times.’

  The children were tired after their lovely day and had fallen asleep still clutching their presents.

  Dieter was talking quietly to the General, Sally and Joe silent in case they woke their daughter. Angie settled back in the comfortable seat and closed her eyes, listening to the hum of the tyres on the road. It was a soothing sound.

  She felt more content than she had done for a long time. The talk she’d had with Bob had cleared the air, and her mind. He had been perfectly straight and blunt. He had asked if she would be willing to marry him and bring Danny out to Germany to live with him. When she had vehemently refused, he’d nodded, saying in that case marriage between them wouldn’t work. He would expect a wife to follow him wherever in the world he was posted. She had told him that wouldn’t be possible. She would never take Danny away from Dieter.

  They had talked everything over in a rational way, without emotion clouding the issue, and they had both recognized how wrong it would be for them, not to mention the heartache it would cause Dieter. She adored Danny and there was no way she would disturb his life now that he was settling down. She had told Bob that as much as she would like to marry one day, Danny would always come first. If that meant she would have to stay single, then so be it.

  He had then made an outrageous suggestion that she had turned down very firmly. She found him very attractive and would certainly have given marriage to him serious consideration, but there was no way she would agree to become his mistress whenever he was in this country.

  She smiled to herself as she remembered his reaction. He had shrugged with a glint of devilment in his eyes, saying that he hadn’t expected her to agree, but he’d had to try, hadn’t he? And to let him know if she ever changed her mind!

  When she couldn’t stop a rumble of amusement coming from her, Sally turned her head.

  ‘What’s amused you?’

  ‘Just something Bob said.’ She changed the subject. ‘It’s been a lovely day, hasn’t it?’

  ‘Yes, it has.’ Sally closed her eyes again.

  Angie did the same and returned to her thoughts. In the end they had agreed that they should remain friends. Though the kiss he had given her then had not been the sort given between friends. He had grinned and said that was something for him to remember when he was in his lonely bed.

  She doubted he had trouble coaxing women to spend the night with him. Life with Robert Strachan would not have been dull, but it couldn’t be, and she was relieved they’d had a frank talk. While they had been talking she had also realized just how concerned she was for Dieter’s happiness as well as Danny’s. He was now an important part of their lives and she wanted it to stay that way.

  ‘Here we are.’ The General stopped outside Angie’s cottage.

  They all got out and, after thanking the General, Sally and Joe took their still sleeping daughter indoors.

  ‘I’ll wait for you,’ Bob’s father said to Dieter, who was carrying Danny, also fast asleep.

  ‘That is kind of you, sir, but I shall walk back to the farm after Danny is in bed.’

  ‘Right, then I’ll be off.’ He opened the car door. ‘It’s been a real pleasure to have you join us today. You must do it again soon.’

  ‘Would you like a cup of tea before you go?’ Angie didn’t like to think of him just turning around and driving straight home again.

  He beamed at her. ‘No, thank you, my dear.’ After getting back in the car, he waved and sped up the road.

  ‘It won’t take him long to get home,’ Angie said drily, as she opened the front door. ‘Better take Danny straight upstairs, Dieter.’

  The little boy was soon in his pyjamas and tucked up in bed.

  ‘He never even woke up.’ Dieter gazed down at his son.

  ‘No, he’s worn out. It’s been a long day for him.’ She turned on the dim night-light and they crept out, leaving the bedroom door open in case he woke suddenly and called for her. He didn’t do it so often now, but she was still alert in case he did. It always calmed him at once when he saw her there with him.

  ‘Would you like cocoa?’ she asked, when they reached the kitchen.

  ‘I would prefer coffee, if you have some.’

  ‘Of course.’ She chatted about the day as she made the drinks. ‘Are you hungry?’

  ‘No, thanks.’ Dieter laughed. ‘I have eaten far too much today.’

  Angie put the cups on the table and sat down. ‘And me. I don’t think I’ll be able to eat anything for a week.’

  The kitchen was warm and cosy, and in the relaxed atmosphere Dieter told her about Mrs Strachan’s suggestion that he try for a job as a music teacher.

  ‘That’s a wonderful idea!’ Angie was enthusiastic. ‘It would be perfect for you, and I’m sure you’d enjoy it.’

  ‘I would.’ Dieter nodded in agreement. ‘But I would not wish to let John and Hetty down. They have been very kind to me.’

  ‘They would understand.’ She smiled encouragingly. ‘I know they would be happy to see you settled in work you love and are suited for. With your talent it’s a terrible waste to be working as a farm labourer.’

  ‘I will talk to them, but this might come to nothing. With my background it might not be easy to find a school willing to employ me.’

  ‘You mustn’t think like that.’ She reached out and took hold of one of his hands, marvelling at the elegance of his long fingers. ‘Parents would be pleased to know that someone with your talent was teaching their children. Go for it, Dieter!’

  He smiled into her animated face, cradling her hand in both of his. ‘Very well, I shall go for it, as you say. Mrs Strachan is going to make inquiries on my behalf, but I shall begin searching as well. If I can find something, it must be near here, for I would not wish to be far from Danny.’

  She nodded. ‘You must stay close and see him often. He likes you, and I feel it won’t be long before he accepts you as his father.’

  Dieter held her gaze. ‘You will not take him away from here, will you, Angie?’

  ‘I have already given you my word on that. And now Danny has been told who you are, you must not disappear from his life. It would cause him much distress now.’

  ‘I promise I shall never leave him.’

  Angie wasn’t going to marry Bob. He was sure of it. Dieter shoved his hands into the pockets of the great-coat to keep them warm as he walked back to the farm. She would never have said those things if she had such plans.

  He kicked a stone along the track, feeling more hopeful about the future than he had done for many years. Now he had something to aim for – a new and secure life to make for himself and Danny.

  John and Hetty were sitting by a huge log fire when he arrived.

 
‘Did you have a good day?’ Hetty asked.

  ‘It was very pleasant. The Strachans are nice people.’

  ‘They are.’ John indicated a tray on the sideboard. ‘Do you want anything? The tea’s still hot.’

  ‘No, thank you.’ Dieter sat down. ‘I wish to talk to you.’

  He spent the next ten minutes explaining about Mrs Strachan’s suggestion, and how much he would like to become a music teacher, if at all possible.

  ‘That’s a wonderful idea.’ Hetty nodded, beaming in agreement. ‘We’ve been hoping you would try for something like that.’

  ‘We certainly have,’ John said. ‘As much as I appreciate your help around the farm, this is not what you should be doing.’

  ‘You are both very kind.’ Dieter was touched by their obvious pleasure. ‘I shall start looking in this area at once. If I am successful, would you like me to move out?’

  ‘Certainly not!’ They both spoke together, looking horrified at the suggestion.

  ‘We love having you here,’ Hetty said with a gentle smile. ‘This is your home for as long as you want to stay.’

  ‘In that case if I do have another job, I shall pay you rent.’

  John gave a dismissive wave of his hand. ‘We’ll talk about that when the time comes.’

  Sleep did not come easily that night; Dieter’s mind was working overtime. He had spent another hour talking with John and Hetty. They had given him a list of schools in the area whose students were ten years old and upwards. There was one just outside Bridgewater, near Durleigh. He would try them at the start of the next term. If he couldn’t find anything, perhaps Mrs Strachan would be more successful.

  Placing his hands behind his head, he stared up at the ceiling, wide awake. How fortunate he was to have the support of so many kind people. When he had returned here after York, sad and dispirited, he hadn’t known what he was going to do. Now he did. He would consider this country his home. One day, when Europe had recovered from the war, he would take his son to see Germany, for it would be beautiful again once the scars had healed.

  30

  Three weeks into the New Year and the threatened snow had arrived. At least four inches had fallen during the night and it was still coming down. Angie and Sally stood at the kitchen window watching the antics in the garden. The children were bombarding Joe and Dieter with snowballs and chasing them. Joe slipped, caught hold of Dieter for support and they both ended up on the ground. With squeals of delight, Emma and Danny jumped on them. All four were rolling in the snow in a mass of arms and legs.

  Sally smirked. ‘I thought we had only two kids between us, but it looks as if we’ve got four.’

  Angie’s shoulders shook with laughter. These Sunday lunches together were becoming a regular thing. The two girls took turns to cook, and this week it was Angie’s job. The children loved it, Joe and Dieter had become good friends, and it gave Angie and Sally a chance to have a gossip.

  When Angie looked back now, it was hard to remember what life had been like in London. This was so much better. They had been accepted into village life and were surrounded by friends.

  She returned to the cooking, opening the oven door to check on the joint of beef John had given her. ‘Fifteen minutes and we can dish up.’

  ‘Right.’ Sally opened the back door and yelled that lunch was almost ready.

  Four bedraggled figures erupted into the kitchen, faces pink, noses red, and sopping wet. Pools of water began to form where each one stood.

  Sally whipped a mop out of a cupboard, brandishing it at them. ‘Get those wellingtons off and put your wet coats upstairs in the bath. We’ll dry them by the fire when they’ve stopped dripping. Quickly. Look at the mess you’re making.’

  There was a scramble to remove the offending footwear, then the four of them thundered up the stairs, seeking rapid escape from Sally and her mop.

  They came down again just as the meal was being put on the table, hungry as wolves after their games in the snow.

  After lunch the dishes were stacked on the draining board to be dealt with later, and they took the tea into the front room. The warmth of the fire after a good meal inside them was too much for Emma and Danny. The friends squeezed into one armchair and promptly fell asleep.

  ‘Just look at them,’ Sally whispered to Angie. ‘They look like a couple of kittens.’

  ‘How are you getting on with your search for a teaching job?’ Joe asked Dieter.

  ‘I have finally had a reply from the school near Durleigh. They’ve asked me to see them tomorrow morning at ten o’clock.’

  ‘Oh, that’s wonderful news!’ Angie was thrilled. Dieter had applied for quite a few positions without success, and even Mrs Strachan with her connections hadn’t been able to find anything in this area. To have had a reply from the one she knew Dieter really wanted was encouraging.

  ‘We must not get too excited. They have asked to see me. That is all.’

  Sally grinned. ‘They’ll love you, Dieter, and when they hear you play you’ll get the job.’

  Joe glanced out of the window. ‘You might not get there if this weather doesn’t let up.’

  ‘I shall keep my appointment even if I have to slide all the way there.’

  From the determined set of his mouth, Angie had no doubt that a bit of snow would not make him miss this appointment. She sent up a silent prayer that he would be taken on. If anyone deserved a slice of good luck, it was Dieter.

  Emma woke up, fighting her way off the chair and disturbing Danny. She ran over to the window. ‘It’s stopped snowing! Can we build a snowman before it all goes?’

  Danny was also wide awake now. ‘Can you give us a carrot for his nose, Auntie?’

  ‘I’ve got some in the kitchen.’ She stood up. ‘Then I’d better get on with the washing-up.’

  It didn’t take Sally and Angie long, and as soon as the dishes were stacked away they went into the garden to join in the fun.

  The next morning Dieter was up early. He was relieved to see that a lot of the snow had melted, so he shouldn’t have much difficulty with the short journey. This interview meant a lot to him and he was nervous as he sorted out what he was going to wear. Not that there was any choice. The suit and tie Strachan had given him were smart enough still, and the suit fitted him better now that he had put on some weight. He’d bought a new shirt and pair of shoes.

  He had just finished dressing when John knocked on his bedroom door and came in with a coat over his arm.

  ‘It’s still cold out there, and you can’t wear that army greatcoat.’ He held out the coat. ‘Here, take this. I never wear it.’

  The black wool coat was soft, warm and fitted Dieter perfectly. ‘That is very kind of you, John. I shall be grateful to borrow it, for I did not know what I could wear. I was going to slip the army coat off and fold it up when I arrived at the school.’

  ‘I don’t want it back. You keep it. The moths will only get at it otherwise.’

  Before he could protest, Hetty bustled in. ‘Let me look at you, Dieter.’

  He turned in a circle and she nodded in approval. ‘You look every inch the perfect music teacher.’

  Doubt assailed Dieter. Everyone was so sure he would get the job, but he didn’t dare hope too much. ‘I do not have proof of my qualifications. All papers were lost …’

  ‘They will understand that.’ Hetty was brimming with confidence. ‘You’ll impress them without pieces of paper.’

  ‘I shall do my best.’

  ‘Take the truck.’ John’s smile was amused. ‘Only leave it out of sight of the school and walk the last bit. Don’t want them to see you arrive in a heap of junk.’

  With a laugh, Dieter was on his way. The roads weren’t too bad, but he still had to drive with care. Even so, he was twenty minutes early when he walked through the school doors. He stood in the corridor wondering where he should go.

  ‘Can I help you?’ A middle-aged woman stopped beside him.

  ‘I have an appo
intment to see the Headmaster, Mr Hargrove, at ten o’clock. I am a little early.’

  ‘He’ll like that. He’s a real stickler for punctuality.’ She gave him an assessing look. ‘Go to the end of this corridor and you’ll see his office right in front of you.’

  Dieter bowed slightly. ‘Thank you, madam.’

  She began to move away but stopped again. ‘Are you the new music master?’

  ‘I hope so, madam.’

  She smiled then and made for a classroom further along the passage.

  He followed her directions and, before knocking on the door, took a deep, steadying breath. He liked the feel of the place and wanted the position very much. It would be a big disappointment if he was turned down, but he knew that that was a distinct possibility.

  He knocked, and waited.

  ‘Come in,’ a voice called.

  Dieter turned the handle and stepped into a room littered with books, files and papers. The man behind the desk was nearer fifty than forty, hair greying, but with shrewd brown eyes that took in the appearance of the man standing in front of him.

  He hauled himself stiffly out of the chair, smiled and held out his hand. ‘You’re Mr Cramer, I take it?’

  ‘Yes, sir.’ Dieter shook hands with him.

  ‘Glad you made it. Wretched weather. Please sit down.’

  He tried to relax as he watched Mr Hargrove read the letter he had sent in. That was put aside and another one scrutinized for some moments, then he looked up and smiled. ‘Mrs Strachan speaks highly of you. Her letter arrived the day after we received yours.’

  ‘I wasn’t aware she had approached you.’ Dieter was surprised, but he shouldn’t have been because he had kept her in touch with what he was doing. A good word from her might give him more chance. His hope increased.

  ‘Ah, yes, I’ve met her a few times. I served with her husband for a while until I had an accident on a motor-bike. Now tell me about yourself.’ Mr Hargrove settled back in his chair.