January Dreams

by Carrigan Richards

  Casper clambers down the stairs and hands me a plastic bag. “Here’s some ice. Mom always says to put it on immediately, but she said this will also help the swelling.”

  I take it. “Thanks. Did you tell her I was here?”

  “No.” He smirks. “I’ve had a few black eyes in my lifetime. Is your hair naturally curly?”

  “No, it gets out of hand in the rain.” I place the ice to my cheek hoping it will numb the pain.

  “Have a seat.” He sweeps his hand inviting me to sit on the white plush couch. I sink into it. “Do you want some ibuprofen?”

  “Yes, please.”

  He walks into the bathroom and comes back with some medicine and a cup of water. He clicks on a couple of lamps then turns off the overhead light. He sits down on the couch and stretches his legs. I swallow the pills and drink the water.

  “I can’t believe how big your basement is. It’s like three of my houses for your one.”

  “It’s kinda too big for the three of us. My brother and sister moved out last year.”

  “Are you close to them?” I guess I’m humoring him by carrying on a conversation. I don’t want to feed into his whatever he feels for me.

  “Yeah.”

  “That must be hard not seeing them every day.”

  He shrugs. “It’s not that bad. They’re only half an hour away.”

  My phone beeps and I reach in my bag to answer it. It is Cherry.

  OMG! Amber’s a bitch! Are u ok?

  Yeah. I’ll be fine.

  I can’t believe she hit u! I’d stay far away from Casper. She’s crazy!

  I know. Are they upset that I called in?

  No. Diane asked about you. I’ll tell her ur puking. My break is almost over. I’ll call u when I get off work.

  It’s ok. I’m kinda tired so I’m probably going to bed early but I’ll c u tomorrow.

  K. U 2. Love u.

  Love u 2.

  “So, your parents won’t know you skipped work?” Casper asks.

  “No. They never go out that far.”

  “Aren’t they going to notice when I take you home? Or are you going to make me park down the street?”

  It isn’t a bad idea actually. “They’ll be asleep by then. They’re really strict. And anything I do gets me grounded. It’s better that I don’t tell them anything. Where do I need to get my car tomorrow?”

  “I can take you.” He turns on the TV and leaves it on the sports station. I welcome the distraction.

  “Will they have it ready tomorrow morning?”

  “No, but I thought I could take you after school.”

  “Oh.”

  “Do you wanna watch a movie?” he asks.

  I shake my head. It’s strange having the man of your dreams sitting next to you. Literally. I think about how intimate and tender we are in the dreams. It’s a little unnerving.

  “Do you know who the mysterious guy is in the dream?” he asks.

  “No.” I focus on the TV instead of him. But I feel his eyes on me.

  “I’m trying to wrap my head around this. The dreams started a few months ago. At first, they started out with me running and searching through the woods, looking for you. I’m tense and nervous but when I find you, it’s like, everything’s okay. Except that I have to fight with some guy. The dream where you fell off the cliff, I knew I had lost you. When I woke up, it got to me. Not to sound…whatever, but my heart literally ached for you. I can’t explain any of this.”

  Speechless, I listen to Casper reveal his inner thoughts. Okay, if he is playing a trick on me, I’m sure he wouldn’t have told me that his heart ached for me. How am I to react to that? Somewhere inside of me wants to know how he feels.

  “Does your heart ache for me now?” Bug-eyed, my hand flies to my mouth but not in time to stop the words from escaping. I don’t know what possessed me to even ask that. “Sorry. That was stupid. I shouldn’t have-I just-wow.”

  “I’m afraid to tell you my answer, actually.”

  “Yeah, no it’s cool. You don’t have to answer that. Pretend I never asked.”

  We sit in awkward silence, watching TV, but I’m pretty sure neither one of us is paying attention to it. I can’t believe I asked that. What is wrong with me? I wonder if I should I tell Casper what I saw when Vincent and I kissed. What would he make of that? Are the two even connected?

  “Why did you tell me to stay away from Vincent?” I ask, wondering if he knows about Vincent’s prior drug issue.

  “I don’t know. I don’t even know him, but he gives me a bad vibe.”

  “Are we talking about the same Vincent?”

  “Yeah. I can’t explain it.”

  “Bad vibe like mine with Amber McLachlan?”

  “It’s…different. He just doesn’t sit well with me.”

  I wonder if he means how intense Vincent is sometimes.

  “What are you thinking?” he asks.

  “My thoughts are all over the place. Definitely weirded out and yet, you aren’t at all what I thought.”

  “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

  “I don’t know.” I tell him honestly. “What are you thinking?”

  “You don’t want me to answer that.”

  My heart loses its regular beat. “Might as well tell me.” What is wrong with me? Why should I care what he’s thinking?

  Casper takes a deep breath and plays with the fringe from one of the pillows. “I can’t stop thinking about kissing you. It’s so intense in the dream.”

  I’m not sure what to make from my body’s positive reaction to that. I’m so glad for the ice to help cool me down. Now if I could only control my heartbeat.

  “Sorry. I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I’m not going to make any moves. I’m not that guy.”

  I shrug. “I asked. If it helps, they’re intense for me, too.” And now I am going to kick myself. I pull out my phone and check the time. “I’ve gotta go.”

  “Yeah.”

  The drive back to my house is quiet, but not awkward. I guess we are both thinking the same thing but not talking about it. For some reason, I feel a little pang of sadness as he pulls into my driveway.

  “Thanks for tonight,” I say.

  “You’ll need a ride in the morning, right?”

  “I can ask Cherry.” But as soon as I say it, I know it’s too late to call Cherry. She always likes to go to sleep early. “Actually, what time can you pick me up?”

  “How early do you need me?”

  “As early as possible.”

  He raises his eyebrows.

  I feel the heat beneath my cheeks, and I clear my throat. “I mean seven.”

  “Sure.”

  “Goodnight,” I tell him and close the door. I quietly walk in my house and into my room to retrieve my pajamas. I pass by my parent’s door and hear Savannah scratching to be let out. I open the door slightly so she can, and she follows me into the bathroom. I groan at the ghastly sight of my face. It looks bad now but when it starts to heal and turn into that disgusting greenish yellow, that’s going to be bad. Good thing I don’t have any school pictures to take.

  After the hot shower, I curl up in bed and check my phone for any messages. I still haven’t gotten any from Vincent, and that stupid ache in my chest returns, but my heart sputters at the one from Casper.

  Sweet dreams.

  I don’t reply. I put my phone on the nightstand and lay down. I need to stop spending so much time thinking about boys. They’re distracting me and if I’m not careful, I’m going to spiral out of control trying to balance everything.

  Chapter Sixteen

  My stomach won’t settle down. Casper is giving me a ride to school. My hands shake as I put makeup on my face and part my hair, so it covers the bruise. It’s actually not a bad look for me. Maybe I can wear it like this from now on. Of course, people will probably think I am even more emo now that half my face is covered by my hair. Not sure why they think I’m emo anyway.


  I woke with tears in my eyes after another weepy dream about Casper and me. How much more dramatic can my dreams get? It’s like a romance novel for crying aloud. I’m not on drugs, but one look into my dreams, one would assume I am deep into them.

  My phone beeps, letting me know I got a text. It’s Casper. I quietly creep down the hall and leave. It’s still dark and really freaking cold. I pass in front of Casper’s headlights and climb into the warm car.

  “Morning. I got us some coffee, since it’s before the chickens wake up,” Casper jokes. He’s wearing his Bama cap and a long-sleeved blue shirt that fits snugly around his long, lean arms and muscular chest and torso. Not that I pay that much attention. He wears jeans as usual.

  “Morning. Um thanks.” I’m not a coffee drinker but I take it and hold it in my hands, warming them. It’s a nice gesture, though.

  He backs out of my driveway. “I didn’t drug it, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

  I steal a glance. “I don’t drink coffee.”

  “Oh. How do you stay awake in class?”

  “I’ve been known to fall asleep.”

  “You?”

  “Yes. I’m not perfect.”

  He mumbles something under his breath, but I can’t hear. The dream is still on my mind and I wonder if he’s thinking about it, too. I’m glad it wasn’t one of the more intimate ones because I’m not sure I’d be able to look him in the eye if we’d been rolling around in the grass like before.

  “What the hell is a Sprite?” he asks, and I exhale, grateful he broke the ice so we can talk.

  “I think it’s a fairy. I remember someone calling you an Elf. Why are they after us? The only thing I know is they mentioned I ran away with you. But why would they try to kill us?”

  “I don’t know. Are these dreams like, linked to our real lives or something? I mean, are you in some kind of danger?”

  “Not that I’m aware. Unless my parents find out that some cute guy took my car to get repaired.” I blush and look out the window. Cute? Cute? What is my problem? I peek at him out of the corner of my eye and I swear I can see a sliver of a smile.

  “How’s your cheek?”

  “Still purple and swollen.”

  “I’m sorry. I really am.” He pauses a moment. “Not that I mind at all to take you to school, but why didn’t you ask Vincent? I’m glad you didn’t. I mean, I-I’m curious.” He clears his throat. Is he shy around me or something?

  “I didn’t call him because he’s just…distant. I don’t know. It’s weird. One minute we’re great, and the next…nothing.” I can’t believe I just told him that.

  “Maybe he’s just dealing with a lot.” Casper arrives at school and parks. He keeps the heat on and both of us stare at the building. We are pretty much the only ones there so far.

  “Did your parents find out anything?” he asks as he removes his hat and tosses it onto the dash.

  “No.” I bite my lip. “I don’t want to go today.”

  “You and me both.”

  “I’m starting to feel like someone is after me. Like, I’m starting to feel paranoid. I hate it.”

  Casper takes my hand and squeezes it. I ignore my heartbeat. “It’s like that for me, too. That’s why I’ve been trying to talk to you, but I let it go thinking the dreams would stop.”

  “But they haven’t.”

  He shakes his head. “We could skip, if you want.”

  “I can’t. If my mom finds out, she’ll ground me. And I have a chemistry test.” That I didn’t study for. I reach into my bag and pull out my notebook, opening it to the right page. I start reviewing my notes, but Casper yanks it away. “Hey!”

  “I’ll quiz you.” How is it that I can feel so unnerved, yet comfortable by the same person at the same time? I shouldn’t have spent the entire afternoon and night with Casper, let alone the morning. I need to return to my regularly scheduled program. “Come on. What is Group 16 of the Periodic Table called?”

  Reluctantly, I let him quiz me. As time passes, more and more students arrive.

  I’m not sure about being seen with Casper at school. I don’t want another repeat of yesterday. But I can’t go inside yet because the school has a ridiculous policy that we aren’t allowed inside until about twenty minutes before the bell. You can’t even go inside to the library. We sit in the car for a few more minutes, going over chemistry, but I’m antsy. I take my notebook and thank him, then open the door and get out. The wind cuts through me and I brace myself. Casper follows me for a short distance, but I turn around.

  “I think I can handle it from here.”

  “Are you afraid of being seen with me?”

  “I wouldn’t want Amber to see us.”

  “She won’t hurt you again.”

  “I can handle my own fights, thanks.”

  He raises his eyebrows and his eyes point at my hidden cheek. “You sure handled it yesterday.”

  His comment hurts, but I’m grateful he gave me something to be angry about. I don’t like this weird friendliness between us. “You’re such a jerk, you know? Why don’t you go rejoice in Amber’s victory like everyone else?”

  “I didn’t mean it.”

  “Whatever. Leave me alone.”

  “Oh, come on. Don’t leave.” He grabs my elbow whirling me around to face him. “It was a joke.” Our eyes lock, and for a second, I think he is going to kiss me, and I’ll welcome it. At least my body wants it. Something is seriously wrong with me.

  “Megan.” I hear Vincent behind me, his voice sounding hurt. I stiffen, then twist around and Casper releases me. The wind blows my hair, revealing my bruise.

  His blue eyes immediately grow angry. “Did you hit her?” He glares at Casper with such rage that makes me shudder. Why would he automatically assume it was Casper?

  “What?” Casper straightens his stance and clenches his fists.

  “What did he do to you?” Vincent asks, stepping closer.

  “He—”

  “I didn’t do anything to her. But if you actually answered her calls, maybe you’d know what happened to her.”

  Oh crap.

  “Are you threatening me?” Vincent challenges and steps closer, squeezing me in between them. Okay, so maybe he isn’t so shy.

  I press my hands against both of their chests. “Vincent, it wasn’t him,” I say, but neither one pays attention. They glare at each other, sizing each other up like male gorillas. “Casper, go. I can handle it.”

  After a long look at me, Casper walks away and the tension eases.

  “Who did that to you?” Vincent asks, brushing aside my hair. I back away so my hair recovers it.

  “I’m sure it’s front page news by now. Didn’t you hear?”

  “I was out yesterday.”

  “Yeah, you’ve been out for a while.”

  “That isn’t fair. What happened?”

  “Amber McLachlan hit me because she saw me talking to Casper.”

  “Why were you talking to him?”

  Shaking my head, I start walking away from him. I’m not sure how much longer of this back and forth I can take with him.

  “Megan, please.”

  “What, Vincent? I haven’t heard from you in two weeks. You were so mad at me when I went to my dad’s, and now you stand up for me? Either be my boyfriend or don’t.”

  “I’m sorry you feel that way. We had to rush my mom to the hospital.”

  I soften, hoping he isn’t about to tell me his mom died. “I’m sorry. Is she okay?”

  “She’s fine, for now. She was just having a hard time breathing.”

  Guilt rushes over me. I’m a terrible person. “I’m really sorry.”

  Vincent moves closer to me. “It’s okay. I’m sorry I never called or texted. I don’t exactly know how to do this.”

  I freeze. “Are you breaking up with me?”

  He takes my hands. “No, Megan. I’m a mess.”

  “Vincent, I get it. But I’m your girlfriend. You have to
let me in. I’m here for you to console or whatever you need.”

  He nods. “I’m just not used to it.”

  “Try. For me.”

  Gazing into my eyes, he presses his lips to mine. “I love you, mon trésor. You’re my everything.”

  Feeling my lips stretch into a grin, I return the kiss. “I love you.” I’ve never told a boy that, but I feel it.

  As we walk inside the building, people stare at me and start whispering amongst their friends. Vincent holds my hand tighter and keeps walking like he’s the most confident man there. “Keep your head up, Megan. You are so much better than these people. Don’t ever let them make you feel bad.”

  His words make me admire him and I’m grateful. When we reach my locker, I turn to him. “Thank you. It’s hard sometimes.”

  “I know, but it won’t be like this forever.” He moves my hair away from my face and his thumb gently strokes my bruise. It shouldn’t make me feel good, but it does. “I’ll see you later.”

  When he walks away, Cherry approaches me. “Things okay?”

  “He just told me he loves me.”

  She gasps, but her smile fades. “But does that forgive him for not talking to you?”

  “His mom was in the hospital.”

  Cherry frowns. “That sucks. Is she okay?”

  I shrug.

  “What are we going to do about these stupid rumors that Amber had your ass handed to you?”

  I frown. I was on cloud nine. Discreetly, I move my hair so she can see the bruise.

  With a gasp, she brings her hand to her mouth. “I could strangle that bitch.” She shakes her head. “What’d your mom say?”

  “She doesn’t know.”

  Cherry cocks an eyebrow. “How’s that even possible?”