An Unexpected Hunger

by Rosa, C.

  “I’ll go in after you,” I told him as he undressed in front of me.

  I took one more look at my name and address before flipping the envelope over. I ran my finger along the seal, and unfolded the lined paper. I read the words so fast I had to reread a few sentences.

  Alexa,

  I have tried to convince myself that I could let you go. Forget about you and everything we had together. I just can’t. Rachel and I have decided to end things and move on. Hopefully, by the end of the year our marriage will officially be over.

  I need to hear your voice. Please. I’ve tried to call, but obviously you have changed your number. This is the only way I knew how to reach out to you. I need you. Please call me.

  I love you,

  D.

  The shower faucet squeaked and it took me a few minutes to notice the water was no longer running. The bathroom door swung open and Ricky stepped out, a towel notched around his waist. I shoved the letter in the nightstand just in time.

  “Feel better?” I said, getting up. From the corner of my eye, I caught the sliver of white as the envelope fluttered to the floor. For a split second it felt like the earth had fallen out of orbit. Ricky’s eyes followed the envelope and when it hit the carpet he picked it up.

  “So?” he asked. “Did she have anything good to say?”

  I nodded my head. “Yeah, you know, the usual: How are you? How’s the weather?”

  Ricky tossed the envelope onto my dresser.

  “I’m going to go take a shower,” I said. Every quiet second that passed felt like the walls were closing in on me.

  Ricky looked back and nodded. “Okay.” His lips drooped down into a frown, and he rummaged through the bag that he packed to spend the night.

  I wrapped my arms around his waist and leaned my cheek against the curve of his back. His damp skin smelled like my citrus body wash. He stood up and wrapped his hands around mine pulling me around to face him. He looked at me from under his lashes and planted a kiss on my lips so soft it took me by surprise.

  “I’ll be right out,” I said.

  I showered, combed my hair, and brushed my teeth all in five minutes. When I came out, Ricky was laying on the bed, propped on a pillow. I changed into shorts and a cami and crawled in next to him, positioning my head in the crook of his arm. His phone rang on the nightstand and he picked it up, looking at the number.

  “Who is it?” I asked as he ignored the call.

  “Nobody important.”

  Two seconds later, the phone rang again, and I caught the name of the caller on the screen, Toni.

  The phone rang again, Ricky cussing as he grabbed it off the nightstand.

  “Maybe you should answer it.”

  “Nope.” He turned off the phone. “It’s not important right now,” he said, kissing my hair.

  I nuzzled deeper into his chest, hiding my satisfied smile. I heard Casey and Joe gossiping about the story of Toni and Ricky. She and Ricky had a long history. Toni wanted more than what Ricky was offering and quit her job at the bar, which is how I got my job there.

  “I don’t want to be distracted by anything when I’m with you,” he said.

  I heard the drawer of the nightstand slide open as Ricky tossed his phone inside. My heart skipped, knowing the letter was there in plain sight.

  At first I didn’t look up, still holding on to hope that he didn’t see it. I felt so content in that moment. I didn’t want it to be ruined.

  Paper crinkled and I felt the light brush of the letter on my shoulder.

  “What is this?” Ricky sat up, rolling me off in the process. I sat up next to him, and leaned my head against the headboard.

  “It’s nothing...”

  “The fuck is isn’t,” he said, the lightening brewing in his eyes. “You lied to me.”

  “I didn’t want to bring it up.”

  “So you lied?”

  “Ricky…I’m sorry. I just want to forget about it. It doesn’t matter to me anymore.”

  Ricky dropped the letter, letting it float to the floor.

  “Don’t tell me it doesn’t matter anymore,” he said, getting up. He sat on the edge of the bed, his back muscles flexing with tension as he leaned his elbows on his knees. “If it didn’t matter then you wouldn’t of lied about it.”

  “I lied because I didn’t want to make you upset.”

  “A lot of good that did.”

  Ricky rummaged through his bag, hurling clothes in his clenched fists.

  “What are you doing?” I asked.

  “What does it look like?” He put on his jeans, buckled his belt, and threw on a shirt.

  “So, that’s it? You’re just going to leave?” I said. “Typical.”

  Ricky paused and looked back at me, his bag slung over his shoulders. “There’s nothing to say,” he said.

  “What bothers you more?” I asked. “The fact that I lied to you or that the letter is from him.”

  He didn’t respond, but I had my suspicions.

  “Excuse me if it bothers me that my girlfriend is getting love letters from another guy.”

  The word made me do a double take. “Girlfriend? Since when?”

  The question only aggravated him more. He swung the door open so hard that it bounced off the doorstop. He stomped down the steps, and I ran to the window to watch him get in his car and take off.

  Chapter 14

  Night Out

  RICKY HAD LEFT his phone in my nightstand so there was no way I could reach him. I stared at it for a moment, pushing the button on the top to turn it back on. I tapped my finger on the kitchen table, the steam rising from my coffee mug. I got up and plopped the phone in my purse, fighting off the urge to snoop through it. Whatever was in that phone was none of my business. As much as it would have satiated my raging curiosity, my gut was telling me to back off.

  I waited on the porch for Ricky to pick me up for work, looking down at my watch as the big hand marked the twentieth minute I was late. I called Mia to come give me a ride.

  She didn’t seem like herself on the ride over, and I had a sinking suspicion my brother had something to do with it.

  “Everything okay?” I asked.

  “Hm? Oh, yeah,” she said, distracted. “Just tired. Ricky came home slamming every door he walked through last night.”

  “Oh…sorry about that,” I said.

  “It’s fine,” she shrugged. “I’m use to it.”

  “How’s my brother doing? I haven’t seen him in a while,” I asked.

  “He’s good…behaving himself finally. School starts next week, and I’ll be moving back on campus. Hopefully we’ll be able to spend more time together.”

  The door to Ricky’s office was closed when I got to work, and he only came out once. He left for an hour only to lock himself back in. We ignored each other all night, and I rolled my eyes when he walked right by me without saying a word. By nine o’clock nobody had come through the door in almost an hour.

  “I vote to close early,” Mia said, slumped over the bar. “And hit up the city. Whaddya’ say Lexy? Wanna do a girls night?”

  “Woot! Woot!” Casey chimed.

  I smiled, glancing over at the office door. “Sure,” I said. “Sounds like fun.”

  I’d been home for almost two months and spent most of my time at work. It had been a while since my last girl’s night out, and I was actually excited by the idea.

  I told Casey I would finish the rest of the side work so she could go home and get ready. When Mia was finished closing the register, she plowed through Ricky’s office, not bothering to knock.

  I peered over as I put the last chair up, trying to hear what she was saying. After a few minutes, she walked out, shaking her head.

  “Ready?” she asked.

  “Go ahead without me. I have a few more things to do. Can you meet me at my house in an hour?”

  She looked back at Ricky. “Sure,” she said with a half smile.

  “Close the door!”
Ricky shouted. It was the first time I heard his voice all day. Mia ignored him and left.

  I walked over to the door, wrapping my hand around the knob.

  “Mia said you’re going out,” Ricky said.

  I cleared my throat. “Yeah, I think it would be good for me to get out.”

  “Have a good time.” His face was so sad.

  “Ricky…I’m sorry I made you upset by lying. I just…I moved back home to forget about all that. That part of my life is over.”

  “Did you love him?” he asked, looking up at me.

  “I thought I did. I was stupid enough to think that it could actually work between us. But I realized it’s not what I really wanted. I’ve moved on…please don’t drag me back there.”

  My pleading worked. and he got up from behind his desk and walked over to me, collecting me in his arms.

  “So does that mean you’ll me my girlfriend?” he asked as we swayed back and forth.

  I laughed. “If you promise to take me out on a real date.”

  “You got it.” He flashed his beautiful smile and gave me a sweet kiss on the lips. Jesus whistled in the background as he mopped the floors, and Ricky kicked the door shut.

  I kissed him more insistently, pushing him until he hit the back wall, my fingers grazing the band of his boxer briefs.

  “Whoa, whoa,” he said, halting our frenzied movement. “What are you trying to do to me?” he laughed.

  I trailed my lips from his ear down his jawline, the stubble of his light beard brushing my cheeks.

  “Don’t start what you don’t plan on finishing,” he teased. I peeled off my shirt, not caring whether or not the door was locked.

  “Who said I wasn’t going to finish?” The blood drained from Ricky’s face, his mouth hanging open.

  I lifted his shirt over his head before he slid off my bottoms. My fingers trembled as I unfastened the button of his jeans, the adrenaline pumping my heart in a fury.

  Once there was nothing between us but skin, I wrapped both legs around him. He turned me around until my back was against the wall. He buried his head into my chest as I clutched the back of his head. It didn’t take long for both of us to collapse into each other.

  “Shit,” Ricky said, his heavy breathing heaving his body up and down. “I think I’m in over my head with you.”

  I chuckled, loving how great it felt to still be connected to him.

  “Ricky Perry in over his head? Impossible.”

  After a few minutes, I peeled myself off of him. I gave him one more kiss, hoping Jesus was finished mopping the floor. I don’t think I could have looked him in the eye if he wasn’t.

  We redressed, and Ricky drove me home so I could get ready before Mia picked me up.

  “Have fun tonight,” he said. He planted a kiss on my hand.

  “Thanks. I’ll call you tomorrow morning.” I handed him his phone, remembering I still had it in my purse.

  “Don’t wait ‘til then. Text me when you get back so I know you’re okay.”

  I agreed, and he didn’t drive away until I was inside.

  * * *

  I flung back another shot, feeling the tequila flame down my throat.

  “That’s the last one!” I cried, making a face.

  “You said that five shots ago!” Casey cried.

  The music was so loud I felt it reverberate through every muscle in my body. Mia was on the dance floor, dancing dangerously close with someone who was definitely not my brother. I didn’t care though. I know Nick put her through a lot, and I wanted her to be able to cut loose.

  Casey pulled me on the dance floor again, and I was beginning to regret my choice of footwear. The alcohol had completely taken effect, and when I felt the arms of someone wrap behind me I leaned into it without even thinking. After a few minutes of dancing, I felt the push on my backside of something firm. I turned around to see an older man, handsome, but probably old enough to be my dad, behind me.

  I tried to gradually separate myself from him, but he managed to follow me around the dance floor before I just gave up altogether. I whispered to Mia about my perverted shadow and headed to an empty table to find a seat.

  Casey made her way back towards me, holding on to the hand of some guy she met on the dance floor.

  “Everything okay?” she asked in between laughs.

  “Yeah,” I said, fanning my face. “I’m just going to hit up the bathroom.”

  She went back to her whispered conversation, and I shuffled past the crowded room. After circling the whole club, I still had to pee.

  Haven’t these people heard of signs?

  I spotted a group of girls and followed them, hoping they were on the hunt too. I was right. They each piled in, and I had to wait fifteen minutes before a stall opened up. I looked at myself in the mirror and my reflection wobbled. I knew that last shot would push me over the edge, and my stomach gurgled.

  Walking back to find Mia and Casey was grueling. Every step I took hurt, and my legs started to feel like jello.

  “Looking for someone?” It was the perv from the dance floor.

  I ignored him and continued to walk. I felt his presence move with me, and it made me even more anxious to find Mia and Casey. This is why girls never go to the bathroom alone.

  “You’re going the wrong way,” he said. I turned around. “Your friends are that way.”

  I wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol alone, or a mix of that plus the desperation to get off my feet, but I followed him. When I couldn’t take the pain anymore, I found an empty booth to throw off my shoes. I cringed at the thought of walking on the floor barefoot, but I was so desperate for relief I brushed it off.

  My guide sat down beside me as I bent over to unbuckle the strap.

  “Need help?” he asked.

  “No. I think I can handle it.” I froze, my hand still fumbling with the strap, when I felt his fingers graze up my leg.

  “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” I said, disgusted. I flung his arm away from me like it was a poisonous snake. I grabbed my fallen shoe and tried to hobble away. He grabbed my wrist and yanked me back to the booth, right onto his lap. It was dark, and we were isolated by the loud music. The more I resisted the harder he held on, and in a momentary clearing of my brain, I relaxed.

  “They’re you go,” he said, brushing my hair back with one hand. I felt his hot whiskey breath on my skin, and it took all I had not to throw up on the floor. Although, that might have been a good diversion.

  He cupped my face in his, releasing me from his grip. I grazed my hand down his torso and onto his thigh. He winced and swallowed, and I knew it was the right time. I raised the stiletto of my shoe and rammed into the thin material of his pants, right into his groin. He yelped, pushing me off.

  “You fucking bitch!” he yelled. I staggered back when I heard my name being called. Mia already had my hand and was pulling me through the club, not realizing I only had one shoe on.

  “Are you okay?” she cried when we finally reached fresh air. She waved a taxi, but a few flew by without stopping.

  “I’m fine,” I said, sure that vomiting was pretty much guaranteed. “I just need to sit down.”

  Someone finally stopped, and we all piled in. The driver took us back to my moms, and since none of us were in any shape to drive, Mia and Casey spent the night.

  I was relieved when I was able to strip off my dress, and I chucked my shoe in the trash. I had dropped the other one in the club and didn’t bother picking it up.

  Mia knocked on my bedroom door.

  “Hey,” she said with a meek smile. “Casey is already passed out on the couch.”

  “I’m not surprised,” I said. I combed my wet hair, still thinking of what had just happened. My wrist throbbed every time I moved the brush back and forth. One incessant thought kept prodding at me.

  “I had fun tonight,” Mia said, plopping on the bed. “Up until that asshole tried to assault you.”

  “Me too,” I
said. “Do me a favor?”

  She nodded yes.

  “Don’t mention this to Ricky.”

  “Are you kidding?” she teased. “I’m trying to keep him out of jail, not put him back in it.”

  I chuckled and sat down on the bed beside her.

  “I’m really happy that you and Nick are together,” I said to her. “You make him bearable.”

  “Thanks,” she said, her usual smile returning. “I like to think so too.”

  Chapter 15

  Blindsided

  I KNEW THERE would be hell to pay when I fell asleep last night before texting Ricky. I checked my phone and sure enough there were a hundred text messages and five missed calls. I scrolled through them.

  Ricky: Are u home yet?

  Ricky: It’s 3 a.m. Haven’t heard from you.

  Ricky: Where r u???

  Ricky: Pick up the phone!

  Ricky: Talked to Mia. Call me asap.

  Mia was still sleeping in the spare room when I hobbled down the steps. I saw Casey had already left. I put on a fresh pot of coffee and flopped down on the chair at the kitchen table, thankful to have the day off. My skull felt like it was about to explode, and the sunlight filtering through the window above the sink only made it worse.

  My phone vibrated with a text message. I was surprised to see it was from Ethan. I hadn’t heard from him at all since our date, and I couldn’t blame him. Ricky had made it pretty clear that he was willing to do whatever it took to keep me single.

  Ethan wanted to try for a second date, but I politely declined and erased the message. It was enough that I would have to explain the huge bruise on my wrist.

  I hit Ricky’s number on my phone and waited as it rang, each pulse near my ear making my head throb.

  “Hello?” He sounded wide-awake.

  “Hey,” I murmured.

  “Dammit, Lex. I’ve been waiting all night to hear from you.”

  “I know. I’m sorry…I was so exhausted, and I had way too much to drink.”

  “Are you okay? Is everything alright?”

  I shot up in my seat, hearing the alarm in his voice.