Dropout

by Carrie Ann Ryan

  He picked up her hand and pressed a soft kiss to her palm. It was the single most romantic thing she’d ever seen in her life.

  “Then go out with me tonight, Kate. Let me take you to dinner, and we’ll see what else you haven’t planned for.”

  She clenched her legs together, her throat going dry. The kids had sleepovers scheduled that night with their friends so she’d have a rare night alone. She’d been planning to take a long bath and raid her secret chocolate stash, and yet…

  “Yes,” she whispered. “I think that sounds like a plan I can make.”

  He smiled at her, and she prayed she wasn’t making a mistake. There was no future with Grayson, no matter how he’d made her feel in such a short time. Yet no matter how many plans she’d made before with Jason, things had still ended up horribly. Maybe going on impulse just this once and living in the moment would be worth it.

  Maybe.

  Chapter Five

  Grayson hoped to hell he knew what he was doing, but he had a feeling he was playing things by ear at the moment. He still couldn’t quite believe that Kate had not only agreed to go out to dinner with him but that both of them had implied that there might be something more to come after dessert.

  Kate sat across the booth from him, her hair in waves around her shoulders and a soft white dress covering her body. She’d worn wedges, so she was the right height for him to scent her hair like a teenager in lust, and he couldn’t help but love it.

  He’d picked her up from her place but hadn’t gone inside since she’d opened the door ready to go. He hadn’t minded at all, and was actually glad about it. He had a feeling he’d have kissed her hard against the door and done some pretty naughty things if she’d been willing if she had invited him in before dinner.

  Now, he couldn’t get those images out of his mind. He adjusted himself under his napkin, aware Kate grinned at him.

  “You’re thinking dirty things,” she whispered from across the table.

  “Why do you think that?” he whispered right back.

  She rolled her eyes. “Because you keep looking at my face, then my boobs, then my face again before pretending to play with the napkin on your lap.”

  He watched her play with her own napkin and raised a brow. “And are you just cleaning off your hands, then?”

  She blushed before sliding her hands over the tablecloth. “You’re too observant for your own good.”

  “I could say the same about you.” He leaned forward even more. “And, yeah, my dick keeps getting hard thinking about you in that dress. I was trying to act the gentleman and not bring it up in a steakhouse, but you’re the one who brought it up.” He chuckled. “Literally.”

  Laughter danced in her eyes. “Should I say sorry?”

  He gripped her hand, having way more fun than he had in a long while. “Never apologize for giving me a hard-on.”

  She laughed aloud, catching a few stares from the other people in the restaurant, but he didn’t care. She looked stunning when she laughed. Hell, she looked stunning all the time, but she was absolutely radiant when she held that joy. And when he told her that, her eyes widened.

  “You keep saying these things…” She shook her head. “Why didn’t I know you before?”

  “Because it wasn’t the right time,” he said honestly. “We aren’t who we were in high school, and while most people tend to forget that on weekends like this, we won’t. I don’t think we can. I don’t know what’s going to happen after the reunion, Kate, but I will say that I want to spend more time with you before it and during. It’s probably stupid as hell, and we’re both going to get hurt in the process, but I want to see more of you.”

  She met his gaze and blew out a breath. “Let’s get the check, then,” she said quickly, her voice husky.

  He sat up straighter. “You’re going to have to use clear words for me, Kate.”

  She leaned forward so she could whisper, “I want to live in the moment with you. I have the house to myself tonight, and I want do something I never would have even thought of before.”

  He held back a groan. “Be clearer.”

  “I want to have sex with you. Tonight.”

  He squeezed her hand. “That, darling, is something I can do.” He looked over and met the waiter’s gaze, signaling for the check. He and Kate were probably about to do something monumentally stupid, but at least they were doing it together.

  As soon as Kate closed the door behind them, Grayson pressed her back to the solid wood. Her eyes widened, and he told himself he had to slow down.

  “I haven’t even kissed you yet,” he whispered, his gaze going from her mouth to her eyes. “I’m an asshole.”

  “I haven’t kissed you yet either. Does that make me an asshole, too?” Her fingers skipped up his chest, and he shuddered, needing her touch.

  He cupped her face, her skin soft under his palms. “Never.” Then he leaned forward and did the one thing he’d wanted to do since he was sixteen—he kissed her.

  She tasted of sweetness and perfection. He couldn’t quite think of another word for it. He didn’t do poetry and fancy words when it came to women, but he could at least make sure Kate knew she was not only important but also special and sexy as hell.

  She ran her hands up his chest again before wrapping her arms around him to scrape her nails down his back. When he pulled away from her lips so they could both breathe, she arched up into him, and he rested his forehead on hers.

  “What are we doing?” she whispered.

  “This,” he said in a low voice, almost a growl. “Just tonight. No promises. But I’m not going to hurt you, Kate. I’m going to make love to you, make you feel amazing, and when the time comes for me to leave? I’m not going to run again. I’ll make sure when it’s time to go, we’re both ready.”

  Even as he said the words, he had a feeling it was a lie. There was something going on between them that he couldn’t quite name, but he knew it might not be enough. Hell, it wouldn’t be enough. She might not have the education or the job she’d thought she wanted, but she was still far classier than anything his mechanic self could accomplish. He hadn’t missed the kids’ toys and photos in the living room. Hadn’t missed the signs of a family and the fact that neither he nor Kate were the same people they were when he’d first wanted to kiss her. He figured that was okay, as long as he remembered that the woman in his arms was only his for a short while.

  And while he craved her, he knew he’d have to get his fill while he could…and make sure she was the center of his everything.

  Just for now.

  “Kiss me,” she said suddenly, pulling him out of his thoughts. “Just kiss me. We’ll figure everything else out later.”

  He cupped her face, his mouth so close to hers he’d just have to move a fraction of an inch to kiss her. “That I can do, Kate.” So he kissed her again, this time harder, deeper.

  They moaned into each other’s mouths, their bodies pressing against one another as they kept the kiss going—longer, hotter. His hands slid up her dress, over her thighs, and cupped her butt. When she gasped, arching into him, he picked her up easily and rocked into her. She wrapped her legs around his waist, and the two of them panted into each other, needing more.

  “Bedroom or couch?” he growled out.

  She blinked up at him, her eyes just a bit glassy from lust. “Bedroom. Now.” She gestured behind him to the hallway, and he carried her back to the master bedroom, kissing up and down her neck in the process.

  “I can’t believe you’re carrying me,” she said with a laugh.

  “I’m not going to drop you if that’s what you’re worried about.” He bit her bottom lip before licking the sting away.

  “With all these muscles? I don’t think that will be a problem.” She winked, and he laughed with her before setting her down gently on the edge of the bed.

  “Good to know you like my muscles,” he said with a snort. “Should I be completely cheesy and ask if you want to see m
ore of them?” He couldn’t believe he was joking during sex, but Kate made him open up more than ever before.

  Leaving her might just hurt him more than he thought possible.

  No, he refused to think about that right now. Live in the moment. That’s what he had to do.

  “Cheese away,” she said with a smile. “Please. I want to see all of your ink anyway.”

  He licked his lips, the taste of her intoxicating, and unbuttoned his shirt, letting it fall to the floor. He quickly slid his undershirt up and over his head, his gaze on hers.

  When her mouth parted, and her pupils dilated, his dick got impossibly harder. She stood up so her breasts were right against his chest and slid her fingers over his left arm where he had a full sleeve filled with flowers, dark swirls, and memories over the past ten years. Then her fingers traced his right side where a sleeping dragon lay in slumber, waiting for his next adventure. He loved his ink and had a great guy in Denver who did it at a family-run tattoo shop, but with Kate’s fingers trailing over his body, he couldn’t quite remember their names.

  Then he remembered something very important he’d forgotten.

  “Fuck,” he muttered.

  She looked up at him, her eyes wide. “What is it? Am I hurting you?” She moved her hands away, and he quickly took them in his own, kissing her fingertips.

  “You couldn’t hurt me.” Physically anyway. “I just remembered I have one condom in my wallet, but since I didn’t actually plan on this tonight…” He’d hoped, but he hadn’t wanted to set his expectations too high.

  She bit her lip. “I didn’t think we’d actually make love tonight so I didn’t buy any either.”

  Grayson let out a breath. “Looks like I’m just going to have to eat you out for a few hours instead. Hope that’s okay with you. I mean, I want you to come a few times before I use up that lonely condom, so you’d better prepare yourself for my mouth on your pussy.”

  Kate fanned herself before reaching forward and running her hand over his length through his dress pants.

  He held back a groan, his hips instinctively moving forward for more of her touch. “Jesus Christ.”

  “No, I’m Kate.” She blinked up at him. “Say it with me. Kate.”

  He kissed her hard before lifting her up into his arms and dropping her on the duvet. She let out a squeal, and he knelt between her legs, taking off her shoes one after the other in quick succession. “I’m probably going to say your name a few times when I’m fucking you. But that means I’ll do my damnedest to make you scream my name a few times, too.”

  Kate leaned up on her arms, her gaze on his as he slid his hands under her dress to reach for her panties. “Grayson…” she breathed.

  “Yeah, Kate, just like that.” He leaned forward and kissed her mound over her dress and panties, loving the little gasps coming from her mouth. Lifting her dress up and over her waist, he kissed down her stomach and thighs before slowly taking off her panties. When she lay bare before him, he sent a prayer up to whoever was listening and spread her for him, needing to taste.

  “Holy crap,” she mumbled.

  He hummed against her, licking and sucking, needing more and more. When he worked his finger into her, she bucked against him, her body shaking. Then, he gently bit down on her clit, and she came apart on his face, screaming his name so loudly he was pretty sure the neighbors could hear.

  And he didn’t give a flying fuck.

  When she came up for air, he kissed her again before stripping her completely out of her dress. He kissed her nipples, loving the heavy weight of her breasts in his hands. She more than overfilled his palms, and he did not have small hands.

  “I want to see you, too,” she gasped as he rolled her nipples between his fingers.

  “We do that, and I might come too early.”

  “Please.”

  “Well, since you asked so nicely.” He leaned forward and kissed her again before standing up to rid himself of his pants and boxer briefs.

  She looked up at him, her eyes wide. “You, uh, didn’t mention the piercing.”

  He looked down at the Prince Albert he’d had for a few years and winced. “I can take it out if you want. The condom I have is thick enough to handle it, but if you think it will hurt you, I can totally take it out.”

  She bit her lip again before shaking her head. “I really want to know what that feels like. If that’s okay.”

  He gripped the base of his cock, his body shaking and way too close to coming for comfort. “That I can arrange. Now, I think I mentioned something about wanting to eat you out a few times, didn’t I?”

  She blushed before closing her legs. “Uh, yeah.”

  He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to both of her knees. “Are you turning shy on me?”

  She let out a deep breath before spreading her thighs. “Not for you,” she said softly. “I won’t be shy for you.”

  He swallowed hard. “Good.” And when he lowered his head to kiss her most intimate flesh, she screamed his name two more times, her body flushed and sweaty from his attention.

  By the time he had the condom on and hovered over her, they were both shaking and beyond ready for him to be inside her. He leaned on one forearm and used the other hand to guide himself into her wet heat. She was so hot and wet, but tight. Snug enough that he had to control his breathing so he wouldn’t go off too soon.

  He kept his eyes on hers as he entered her, her mouth parted and her breaths coming in pants. She had her hands all over him, petting him, pulling him closer. So when he finally began to move, they met thrust for thrust, their bodies arching into one another as they made love. Because as much as he wanted to say it was just fucking, he knew it wasn’t merely that.

  It was more.

  And when they came together, their bodies sweat-slick and sated, he knew that was going to be a problem.

  Because soon he’d be gone, out of her life forever. And he was so damn afraid that he’d leave a part of himself behind in the process.

  Chapter Six

  “I think I’m going to freak out.” Kate tried to catch her breath, but she couldn’t quite do so. Not even coffee was helping, and coffee usually helped everything.

  “You’re already freaking out, but that’s okay. You deserve a good freakout.” Rae sat across from her at the tiny café next to the dental office. It was each of their lunch breaks. Usually, they wouldn’t meet during the day when they had so many other things to do, but desperate times called for desperate measures.

  “I would have thought the whole moving back to my hometown thing would be my freakout,” Kate said before taking another sip of her iced coffee.

  Rae shook her head. “No, that was a rational move due to a horrible situation that was out of your control. You were trying to take things into your own hands and make them work. That’s not a freakout.” She paused. “Sleeping with Grayson and having a panic attack the next morning because you slept with him is a freakout. But really, that’s okay. Like I said, you deserve it.”

  Kate pinched the bridge of her nose. “I can’t believe I slept with him on the first date.”

  “I can,” Rae said, her voice a little dreamy. “You both went into the date knowing it might happen. And it did. And you both clearly enjoyed it from what you told me. And since you each went into this whole thing knowing the outcome, it’s okay that you enjoyed it. Right?”

  “Stop making sense,” Kate said softly. “My brain is not ready for logic.”

  Rae reached forward and gently patted Kate’s hand. “I think what you’re really freaking out about is that you like Grayson.”

  Kate’s head shot up. “What? Of course, I like him. I slept with him. I don’t sleep with people I don’t like. Jason notwithstanding.”

  Rae shook her head. “Let’s not talk about Jason. Or maybe we should later since I think your past relationship with him is clearly clouding your thoughts on Grayson.”

  “The two have nothing to do with one another,” she
lied.

  Rae gave her a knowing look. “Considering that both men are the only guys you’ve ever slept with, I’m going to have to say they do have something to do with one another. But Kate, honey, you’re freaking out because you like Grayson. As in like more than for just a single night.”

  Kate shook her head. “I can’t.” Her voice broke at that, and she sniffed, annoyed with herself for getting emotional. “I mean, I just met him. The older him, that is. I don’t know enough about him to like him like that.”

  Rae met her gaze. “Sometimes, a chance at happiness hits when you least expect it.”

  Kate let out a breath. “I…I need to talk about something else right now.”

  Her best friend squeezed her hand. “I’m here for you, for anything, Kate. You know that.”

  “I know.” And she did. Without Rae this past year or so, Kate wouldn’t have been able to do anything. And once again, that scared her. “So…you know how I was planning to apply to a few schools?”

  Rae’s eyes lit up. “Of course. Did you apply?”

  Kate bit her lip and nodded. “Yeah.”

  “And?”

  “I got in.”

  Rae bounced in her seat. “To which one? I know you were thinking of applying to three out of state ones that had the perfect program and grants for you. Were those the ones you tried?”

  “I tried all three.” A pause. “And I got into all three. With stipends.”

  Rae let out a soft squeal and hugged Kate hard. “I’m so proud of you. I knew you could do it.”

  Funny, Rae and Tessa were the only ones who thought she could do anything these days. Well, and Grayson. But she wasn’t sure it was because he saw her, or who she’d been in the past. And that was the crux of the problem. At least the root of one problem anyway.