Fall From Grace

by Michelle Gross

  He nodded. “Look at the rest.” I pulled out an Indian head that had 15 on it, then an eagle with 14. “When I brought you over that first crappy piece of work and handed it over to you for your seventh birthday and saw the way you looked at it like it was the best thing ever, and the way your mom praised me for it, I don’t know… I guess it just made me feel like I could do anything if it meant getting to see you smile.”

  “Where’s the one for my birthday coming up?”

  He arched a brow. “I don’t think so, I’ll give it to you on your birthday, besides, I’m still working on it.”

  I studied the rims of his blue eyes. “How is it you are so good all the time?”

  “I’m not good,” he muttered. “Even as a kid, I’ve had this thing for you that’s run so deep and for so long that I’m afraid of what I might become now that I have you.”

  I pressed my thighs together and cupped his face with my palms. “You’re never going to be one of the bad boys but when it comes to me, I hope you want to do bad things. Dirty things.”

  His eyes took on a whole new meaning as he scooped me up and placed me in the middle of the bed before pushing me down. “Oh, you have no idea.” He leaned over me, his hand crawling underneath my t-shirt as he bit into my neck.

  I gasped. “No, Noah, you have no idea what you’ve made me into. You don’t know the thoughts that keep me up at night, all the ways I’ve imagined while waiting to find you.”

  He pushed my bra up and gripped one of my breasts. His rough touch was just what I wanted. He placed my nipple between his fingers before pinching and pulling it up to his mouth where he bit into it through my shirt. I exhaled and moved my legs, the ache was already there, pressing between my thighs. “I’m pretty sure it’s nothing compared to what I’ve pictured doing to you.” He tortured my nipple then did the same to the other, and he wasn’t even lifting up my shirt.

  This conversation was burning me from the inside.

  “Show me,” I begged and he kissed me. No, he breathed fire into me because that was what his touches felt like to me.

  He moved down, yanking up my shirt and revealing my breasts. He dropped his face between them. “I’m so weak when it comes to these, they look even bigger, how is that possible for someone as tiny as you?”

  “You’re a boob guy.”

  “No, I’m a sucker for everything-that-is-Grace guy.” His hot mouth came down over one of my nipples and I moaned, pulling at his hair. I rocked my hips into him and his fingers crawled down my body and unbuttoned my pants before they disappeared into my panties. I arched into his touch immediately.

  “Noah, can you come help with the truck for a second?” Dean hollered from downstairs. I deflated against the bed, the heat of the moment leaving me as I remembered where we were. “You can get underneath it easier than what I can,” he added.

  Noah eyed my breasts before dropping his head between them. I giggled. “What were we thinking? They’re right downstairs!” I asked him.

  “We weren’t thinking,” he said, climbing off me. He leaned back down as I pulled down my shirt and tucked my hair behind my ear. “And I want to think, I don’t want to rush, and I feel like that’s what we’re doing. The last thing I want to do is ruin this with you.”

  I cupped his hand that played with my hair. “Maybe we are moving quickly but these are all things that we would have done if you hadn’t been taken from your dad.”

  “My pace will be your pace,” he whispered softly.

  “Then I want you to take my virginity on my birthday.”

  The expression on his face said it all.

  27

  Grace age 16

  Noah age 17

  It’s a little surreal knowing that I’ll finally be eighteen come May next year. Finally, after all this time spent waiting, I’ll be in charge of my own life. Not that I’m not already, I always have been, but I’ll be in control of every aspect of my life. The mistakes and choices I make will be mine to bear.

  I wonder what Grace will say when she finds out my plans. She hasn’t asked yet but I know she will.

  She should know. She’s every bit of my future.

  N.P.

  Noah stole my laughter during the nights as we talked for hours over the phone. He made me smile even when he wasn’t around. It was worth stubbing my toe every morning on the dresser from being so tired when I woke just to hear his voice as the nights turned to mornings.

  October quickly flew by before I realized, time with Noah seemed to pass by so easily. I didn’t see him anymore other than an hour on a Sunday two weeks ago inside his Jeep where we kissed and groped until he was gone again. It was miserable not seeing him, but gas wasn’t cheap and he worked every hour Dean would give him. I wouldn’t beg for his time, I’d wait for him to give it to me. Besides, Noah, in my eyes, was the boy that worked for the things he wanted. The fact that he managed school, football, a job, friends, and a girlfriend effortlessly without making me feel like I was less than anything else in his life was amazing.

  Or maybe Noah just couldn’t be dimmed in my eyes; he was too bright and I felt lucky to even have someone like that wanting me.

  “Grace, stop staring at your phone,” Sara muttered.

  Sara and Tiffany were spending the night at my house. Janet posted a picture of her meal and posted it online, I drooled and clicked the like button. Lance and Jack had also added me on Facebook and placed a bunch of hearts underneath my relationship status, even though it didn’t show that it was Noah, they knew who I was talking about and couldn’t help but act childish. I felt like I was slowly getting to know them over the weeks because they were always yelling through the phone when Noah was around them while we were on the phone.

  “Let me see,” she yanked the phone from my hand and gasped, “Oh, my God, he’s so hot.”

  “That’s Noah’s friend, Jack,” I said with a smile. “Jack’s dad offered to pay Noah to change his oil and tires. That’s what he’s doing this evening.”

  “From the sound of it, Noah picks up a lot of odd jobs,” Tiffany mumbled while scrolling through her phone. “Is he saving up for something?” I had truthfully wondered the same thing. Noah did do a lot besides working at the garage.

  “I’m not sure,” I admitted. “We haven’t talked about those things… It could be possible though, I don’t think he ever spends any money unless it’s gas.” Now I was curious.

  “Noah seems so responsible for his age,” Sara said with a laugh. “Hell, if I had a job, my checks would go to food.”

  I smiled at the compliment she had given him. “He is.” Of course, they didn’t see life the same way Noah had, and neither had I but I had watched his life from the outside and it still got to me some nights.

  I would go visit John tomorrow, I hadn’t since meeting Noah. It wouldn’t hurt to go check on him and bring him some food. He didn’t deserve it, and even though Noah didn’t talk about him, I knew he would have still been trying to keep his dad alive if he hadn’t gotten taken… Or did he truly give up on his dad the night he lost his mom?

  My phone dinged.

  Noah: I miss you… it’s been too long since I’ve seen ur pretty face

  I smiled at the screen.

  Me: I miss you. Only 2 more weeks until my bday!

  Noah: I don’t think it’s ur birthday that’s got you so excited…

  I sniggered and felt the rush of tingles between my thighs from just a text.

  Me: I hate waiting! Come take me now

  I was half being serious, half just teasing to see what he’d say.

  “What are you over there giggling about?” Sara asked.

  Noah dinged me again: I’m almost done with the tires, say the word and I’ll come get you.

  “Your face is red,” Sara kept talking, “hmm, what is Noah over there saying to you?”

  Me: Sara and Tiffany are here, remember?

  Noah: I’ll have u soon.

  Sara almost took my phone away fro
m me again. “Will you stop?” I groaned.

  She laughed. “I want to know too.”

  Tiffany finally set her phone down and said, “I’m just hungry and wanting to know when we are going down to the fridge to raid it.”

  _______

  “What’s with you lately?” Dad asked as I replied to Noah’s text saying that he couldn’t wait to see me this weekend. “Are you dating someone?” Tiffany and Sara had just left after spending the night.

  I panicked. “Why?”

  “You’re always smiling at your phone and giggling.”

  “I can’t smile?” I deflected.

  “Do you know?” he turned to Mom.

  She kept her eyes on the TV. “Who knows.”

  He studied her. “Hmm.”

  She finally turned to him. “What?”

  He grabbed a strand of her hair. “You got a little gray… right here.”

  She smacked his hand and focused back on the TV before practically growling and facing him again. “You ruined the movie for me!”

  He smiled. “You know you’re beautiful.” She tried not to smile. I smiled and disappeared into the living room where I grabbed some leftovers from last night and slipped the plastic containers in my bag before tiptoeing by them.

  “Where are you going?” Dad asked.

  “I’m going to take a walk.”

  “A walk?” Dad repeated. “It’s cold out.”

  I shrugged my shoulders. “I’m wearing my jacket. It’s stuffy in here.”

  He shook his head and turned back to the TV. I exhaled slowly and hurried outside. I darted down the road and across the street to the trailers to John’s house. I didn’t even knock, I just stepped in. He wasn’t in the living room. “John?” I called out.

  He stepped out of the hallway with a snort. “And here I thought you finally left me alone.”

  I rolled my eyes and took him in. He was the same. Scrawny but no skinnier than what he already was. Noah got his height and looks from him but John hadn’t taken care of himself and it showed. Noah, on the other hand, was bulging with muscles.

  “I brought you some food.” I waited for him to say something. “Do you want it?”

  “Hand it over,” he told me and I did. “So, any reason as to why you ain’t been here in a while then suddenly show up again?”

  I sighed. “I’m dating Noah.”

  I surprised him. “You got in touch with him?” he asked, stunned.

  I nodded. “Yep. No thanks to you.”

  “Ah, I guess that’s good,” he said, still clearly surprised. “So, you have his number?”

  “I’m not giving it to you if that’s what you’re getting at.”

  “He’ll be eighteen in May,” he sounded more like he was saying it to himself than me. He sat down on the couch and looked at me. “What is he gonna do then?” His question caught me off guard. What was Noah going to do? He leaned back and sighed, “He’s probably got it all figured out, no doubt.”

  “I’m leaving.”

  “Grace.” I stopped and waited at the door for him to continue, “Has he been in a good home?”

  I looked up to the ceiling. “Not that you should be allowed to ask that question since you never tried to get your son back but… yeah, they seem like genuinely good people and Noah really likes them.”

  He was quiet before he finally laughed. “Well, that’s good. That’s good.”

  “I can’t tell if you care about him or not, one minute it seems like you do then the next, I’m reminded that you let him go and kept your drugs.”

  “It’s not easy, you wouldn’t understand.”

  “I don’t ever want to understand.” I walked out without another word.

  _____

  “Please stop going over there, Grace,” Noah told me over the phone. He sighed for the twentieth time. “People change after they take something, believe me I know. You can’t predict how they’re gonna act. Why do you think I slept on your floor some nights?”

  I blew into the phone. “I know, Noah.” I rolled onto my stomach and almost squashed Gus in the process. “Honestly though, I wasn’t there for you after you lost your mom, I couldn’t be so I want to know how you really feel about everything now?”

  He paused. “What do you mean?”

  “Are you going to have anything to do with him when you turn eighteen?”

  “I haven’t thought about it,” he answered.

  “What will you do when you turn eighteen? What happens? Do you get to live with them until you graduate at least?”

  He laughed. “They’d never make me leave if I didn’t want to.” That made me smile. “But they already know I’m planning on moving out when I turn eighteen.”

  “What?” I raised in the bed. “How come you haven’t told me?”

  “Because I was going to surprise you with it.”

  “Surprise me…?”

  “Yeah, I’m going to transfer senior year. Truthfully, I’ve already applied for the apartments in Lee County. I’m on the waiting list but since it takes a while, Janet told me I should go ahead and apply since she knew my plans on wanting to transfer schools to see you again.”

  “Wait, you had this planned before you even met me again?” My heart raced.

  He chuckled. “Yeah, Priss, I have.” I grabbed my chest and thought I might get all weepy. “It’s nothing to brag about right now, the apartments are in a shitty environment but it’s a start, and I’ll gladly move into a dump if it means being closer to you. I’m still going to work at the garage, Dean already promised me a job for as long as I wanted it. I won’t play football our last year and I might pick up another part-time job... So, what will it be, Grace, are you okay dating a guy with little time on his hands to please you right?”

  I wiped my eyes. “You’ve got it all figured out, don’t you?”

  “Are you crying?”

  “Mmm.” Then I cried harder. “You keep stealing every part of me, I’m not going to have anything left… Noah, without me ever saying it, you know, right?”

  “Don’t say it over the phone,” he stopped me. “I already know, Grace. I’ll tell you what you already know too, this weekend.”

  “Then I’ll be waiting.”

  28

  Grace age 16

  Noah age 17

  Grace is so sexy and sensual with the little everyday things she says and does that I don’t even think she realizes what she does to me. Or maybe it’s just me and everything that I feel for her. It bleeds through every part of my life. I met her too young, what I’ve felt for her kept growing with us to the point that it’s all-consuming.

  And it’s the best fucking feeling.

  She’s mine, and I’m hers.

  I wonder if she knows the hold she’s got on me? Surely, she does.

  N.P.

  Mom let me drive her car to meet Noah in the parking lot at Walmart Saturday. I wanted to make it easier for him so that he didn’t have to drive so far to see me then take me home. When his Jeep pulled in next to me, I jumped out of the car. He hurried out when he saw me standing in the rain. “Grace, what are you doing?” he asked right before I attacked him with a hug, wrapping my arms and legs around him. He held me up and laughed as I peppered his face with kisses. “It’s fucking cold, Grace.”

  “I missed you, it’s been three weeks since I last saw you,” I told him.

  “I’m well aware of that,” he walked to his passenger side, carrying me. “It’s not easy being with me, is it?” he asked.

  I grabbed his face and whispered. “It’s super easy.” I dropped my legs and got into the Jeep as he shut the door and ran around to the other side and got in. I climbed over on top of him when he did.

  “What are you doing?” His voice didn’t sound too upset with me even though he tried to play it off that he was. “I thought we were going out to eat?” he groaned. “I can’t do anything when you nibble on my ear like that.” He finally grabbed my hips and pulled me onto his lap the r
est of the way. “I give up,” he murmured, stealing my lips. I sighed happily into his mouth.

  When our kiss broke, I looked over in the seat. “Whoops, I forgot that my boots were wet.” I sniggered as he wiped off the seat with his hand before I sat back in it and buckled up.

  “How about we order some takeout and eat in the Jeep so that we don’t have to deal with the public?” he asked me as he pulled out of Walmart’s parking lot.

  I grinned. “Sounds like a wiener to me.” He shook his head in laughter.

  Thirty minutes later, we were sharing a full rack of BBQ ribs and other messy foods that you shouldn’t try to eat in a vehicle. We set the food between us as if his console and gear shift were a table. I had my boots off with one leg underneath me as I sucked the BBQ off my fingers. I watched the rain beat down on the fogged windows before smiling toward Noah. “This is strangely romantic,” I whispered.

  He looked to the window then back at me with a smirk. “Kind of puts one in the mood, you mean?” He waggled his brows.

  I snorted. “So that’s why you brought us somewhere secluded to eat.”

  He grinned. “Like I even had to. It’s already dark outside, nobody is going see anything we’re doing with this rain either.”

  It suddenly felt a little too stuffy in here. I blinked my eyes and took a deep breath. “Are you sure buying this kind of food was okay?” I asked him. “I want you to be able to save up so that we can spend our senior year together.”

  “I’ve been saving for a while so buying you a meal when we’re together isn’t going to change anything,” he informed me before letting out a heavy sigh. “I’m stuffed.” We just stared at each other for a long time before he said, “Finished?”

  I started closing all the boxes. “Yeah.”

  “Good.” He started helping me. “Get in the back,” he murmured unexpectedly.

  My stomach heated as I raised up and slipped between the seats and waited. After he placed the food back in the bag, he jumped out in the rain and opened the back door and climbed inside with me. Once he shut the door, I studied the droplets of water on his face and hair as he turned on the interior light so that we could see better. He then grabbed my legs and pulled them toward him. I fell back against the seat and watched as he tore at my zipper. I grabbed my stomach. “I have a food belly,” I said out of embarrassment, regretting all that food I just ate.