Fall From Grace

by Michelle Gross

  He never lifted his eyes up to meet mine. His focus was solely on what he was doing. “You’re perfect,” was the only thing he said before he yanked my jeans and panties down. I squealed and went to cover myself. It was hard not to feel embarrassment when he was coming on so strong. “Are you getting embarrassed now? If you are then you’re really going to feel it when my face is pressed against your pussy.” I was at a loss for words as he pulled the jeans off my legs. I didn’t know why but hearing him call my vagina that was so unexpected and even a turn-on that he wasn’t afraid to talk dirty with me.

  His eyes took me in as he lifted my butt off the seats, literally, he folded me up and held my legs and butt in the air. It started out awkward. “Noah, this is embarrassing,” I screamed but then his mouth came down over me and everything else was forgotten. I bucked but he held me in place as he swiped his tongue over me leisurely at first. “That…,” I started, “feels good.”

  He wrapped his arms around my legs and gripped them tighter before letting one of his hands slide next to his mouth. “I’m going to use my fingers too,” he let me know before placing one inside me. Like the first time he did it, it felt foreign at first but quickly became something amazing. He relentlessly hit something inside me that built and with the feel of his tongue against me, I scattered into a million different pieces in what felt like a hundred different ways until I started jerking when the sensation quickly became ticklish now that it was over.

  My entire body felt like Jell-O as he gently placed my lower half back down on the seat and came down over top of me. He kissed me with the taste of me on his tongue and when I opened my eyes to see him again, his eyes were heavy and so droopy looking that it was downright sexy.

  He played me with his fingers once again. I gasped when one slipped inside and he took the opportunity to conquer my mouth with his tongue. It was wild, terrifying even, the way he could unravel me so easily. I wasn’t Grace Harper when he touched me, I was just his and whatever he wanted me to be.

  “Noah,” I cried.

  “What is it?” he dared to ask.

  “Just take me right now,” I whispered and his finger stilled inside me.

  He lifted his head. “You don’t want me to take your virginity in the back of this rusted down Jeep,” he said it like he really believed himself.

  “Those things don’t matter to me, you could toss me into the rain and do what you wanted to me and I’d let you because it’s you that matters.” He continued to look at me in silence. “Don’t you want to?” I asked.

  “Are you kidding me? Do you really have to ask?” he asked. “Your pace is my pace,” he whispered before he pulled his finger out and immediately replaced it with two. I jumped from the discomfort and pain. “You’re perfect, Grace, it’s not going to be the most amazing feeling the first time because you’re a virgin.”

  “Let’s get rid of the pain,” I whispered. “So that I can enjoy the pleasure with you in the future.”

  He smiled softly as he moved his fingers inside me. It still hurt and a bit of unease crept through me at how much more I might feel. I wanted him so much more than my fear of how painful it was going to be though. “Let’s see how much I can work you with my fingers,” he murmured as he wiggled and spread out his fingers inside me. I gasped as he watched me with hooded eyes. He pulled his fingers out before raising up and getting something from his back pocket. He pulled out a condom and scooted me down further. My nerves were a web of excitement and fear as I watched him unzip his jeans and reveal his erection. I still found it strange to look at but at the same time, my mouth felt heavy with the need to do the same to him as he had done to me earlier.

  He tore open the condom and wrapped himself before bending down over me. “We’ll stop if it’s too much,” he promised, and all I could do was nod as I wrapped my arms around him. He spread my legs further apart as he sank closer, my stomach was a quivering mess. Then I felt him at my entrance, and it was like there was no entrance for him at all because my body automatically resisted him. He sighed, “You have no idea how much I want this, let me try to get you there with my fingers.” When he started to pull away, I held him tight.

  “I know it’s gonna hurt,” I mumbled in his ear. “But I want it to be this way, it might sound silly to you but I want it to be your… not your fingers.” His eyes devoured me whole.

  He started making out with me slowly but heavily. It pulled me from my worries until I felt him nudging my entrance again. I tensed, but this time Noah ignored it and spread my legs further apart and pressed harder. I hissed and gripped underneath his shoulders as the pain grew worse. I couldn’t even tell if he was even making any progress but I had already been wet from the orgasm and when he finally forced his way past my entrance, I felt it. I cried into his shoulder as my legs automatically fought to keep him from going any further. “Let me get it all the way in, and I’ll pull it out,” he whispered hoarsely. I felt his arms tremble around me and I wanted more than anything to tell him not to stop but the sad truth of it was, I wanted the pain to stop. I felt no heat anymore, just the tearing and burning of discomfort.

  He raised up and looked down at me, placing a hand against my face as he caught the tears that fell. And just like he said, Noah pulled himself out and scooted me over and cradled me in his arms. “Don’t cry,” he murmured as he kissed my cheek.

  “I’m sorry,” I sniffled. “Are you mad? This was my idea and I couldn’t even handle the pain.”

  “This is me, Grace, I want you always. I’m not lying in this back seat to hurt you, the only thing I want to give you is pleasure and that’s not what you were feeling. It’ll go a little easier next time.”

  “It doesn’t bother you that you didn’t get off?” I asked.

  He smirked. “What? Having you wrapped around me, even if only for a minute felt like heaven, I’ll have my way with you in time and I promise it’ll be good for you.”

  “See? This is why I always want you. Your words turn me into liquid but no sooner you used that,” I pointed toward his erection pressing against me, “it hurt like hell!”

  He laughed. “It’ll make you scream from pleasure soon enough.” He pulled off the condom and tossed it on the floor.

  “I hope,” I mumbled. He started attacking my neck and face with kisses until I was giggling.

  “Grace.”

  “What?”

  “I’m still waiting.”

  I was mesmerized by his blue eyes peering down at me. “I love you, Noah Phillips.”

  “I’ve always loved you, Grace Harper.”

  The rain stopped but Noah and I stayed in the back seat of his Jeep talking and taking pictures together. I laughed with him until I had to leave him for another long week.

  ______

  November 11th

  I awoke Thursday morning to another text from Noah that read: Happy Birthday. Can’t wait to see you this weekend. He had stayed on the phone with me until midnight just so that he could tell me first. I was smiling about it until I stubbed my dang toe as I tried to walk out of my room that morning. This time, I really did it. I bent my toenail back. I cursed and hopped before falling on my butt until the pain dulled enough that I could remember how to walk.

  “Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday to you,” I heard Mom’s singing as she walked up the stairs and groaned. I fell backward onto the carpet. She stepped into the doorway with a pile of pancakes. “Did you stub your toe again?” she asked before she scrunched up her nose. “Ew, that looks terrible.”

  “It feels worse,” I grumbled.

  “Is Noah coming over to eat cake with us today?” she asked, placing her hand on her hip.

  “No.” I finally stood back up. “I’m going out with him Sunday.”

  She shook her head. “Nonsense. Ask him to come over.”

  “Mom.” I looked at her like she was crazy. “You understand why the thought of bringing him back home is terrifying, right?”

  “You can’t keep hidin
g it from your dad.” I knew that Noah also wanted to tell him. He was more obedient towards adults than I was. “It’ll be worse if you keep hiding it and he finds out.” She turned around. “Tell him, okay?”

  “Yeah, okay.” I was so not telling him.

  _______

  My eyes must be playing tricks on me. School ended a couple of hours ago, I had just gotten off the phone with Noah who said he had practice today… I was standing at the front door with only one possible explanation. MOM.

  “Noah?” I gave him a startled look as he stepped aside and revealed a carved bear made from a log. It went up to his waist. I momentarily forgot that I was ambushed as I covered my mouth. “Noah, it’s so beautiful.” He had painted the bear black and in the bear’s paws was a sign that said, “I love you.”

  “Thanks for coming, Noah,” Mom said to him, stepping next to me with the same reaction I had just given him to his newest wooden creation. “Oh, Noah, this is perfect.” She stepped out onto the porch and examined it. “This shouldn’t go inside your room, Grace, it’s better to display it outside for people to see its beauty.”

  I squinted my eyes at her and stepped next to her. “I don’t think so, this is my birthday present, not yours… but you’re right, it’ll look best outside.” I started pushing it next to the door.

  “I think it will look better in the yard,” she mumbled.

  “I’ll put it out there this summer, for now, the bear stays here,” I grunted and moved back to admire it again. I pulled out my phone from my back pocket and took a picture of it.

  “Do you like it?”

  “I love it!” Mom answered for me and he smiled at her compliment.

  “What are you guys doing with the door open when it’s this cold…” Dad’s words died out as he stopped and looked at Noah from the doorway. “Noah?”

  “Hi, Steven,” Noah said casually. “It’s been a while.”

  Dad’s eyes hardened on him as if he was remembering that night he hit Noah like I was. “What are you doing here?” he asked.

  “Dad…” I started.

  “I’m dating Grace,” he replied smoothly. “And it’s her birthday so I didn’t want to miss it.”

  He stepped into the doorway and eyed the trailers with disgust. My heart sunk. “You living around here again?”

  “No, I’m living in Jewel County.”

  Dad’s eyes hardened. “Oh, so that’s where you’ve been? And you just came back into Grace’s life after all these years now… because?”

  “Because of me,” Mom intervened. Dad looked genuinely confused. “I asked him not to contact Grace for a while.”

  “If you were gonna do that, then you should have told him to stay gone.”

  “Dad!” I flushed with anger and embarrassment.

  “It’s fine, Grace,” Noah told me but it wasn’t. Noah was used to certain adults treating him like dirt but that was something I could never get used to.

  “Hush, Steven. I was the one that invited him over for cake,” Mom said, disappearing into the door.

  “Well, come on,” Dad muttered. “We’re running up the electric bill with the door wide open like this.”

  Noah and I stepped in with Dad still giving him a bad look. When we passed him, Noah whispered, “It’s fine, Grace. He’ll come around.”

  “I hate anyone treating you like that, even my dad,” I muttered.

  “Look at it from his point of view. You’re his daughter and he walked in on me in your room in the middle of the night when we were only thirteen,” he tried to tell me, and I sighed and dropped my shoulders because I did understand. That one small decision we made only worsened the way Dad looked at Noah. He took my hand and walked into the kitchen with me. “I can handle it. One day, I’ll make him see that what we have isn’t puppy love.”

  “Birthday girl gets the first piece,” Mom chirped as she cut into the cake. “Didn’t you see if Tiffany and Sara wanted to come and have some cake with us?”

  We sat down at the table. Dad didn’t even bother coming in the kitchen. “Mom, I’m too old for that kind of thing, besides, I think they are taking me out to the movies tomorrow night.”

  “Which means they are using your birthday as an excuse to get you to go with them.” Noah nodded with a smile.

  “Exactly.” I agreed.

  “Taking her out somewhere yourself Noah?” Mom asked, lifting her eyebrows mischievously.

  Noah dropped his head with a smile. “I am. I’m going to take her somewhere Sunday.”

  “Oooh?” Mom hummed, and I felt the heat across my cheeks. Were our plans still the same? Was I going to let him try again?

  29

  Grace age 17

  Noah age 17

  She puts the fire in my veins. In a way, I fear that I am like my parents. Like them, I’m an addict. My drug’s name is Grace, and she’s feeding my addiction with every word she speaks, every touch I place on her skin, every night and day she gives to me, even if it’s only by a phone call.

  Yeah… I’ve been in love for a very long time.

  She’s not a drug, but she’s the sweetest addiction.

  N.P.

  “Where is he taking you?” Dad asked for the tenth time as I peeked out the blinds and waited on Noah to pick me up.

  I tossed my head back and groaned. “I don’t know, Dad. He never told me. I just know he’s gonna get me good food.” And since Noah grew up with me, he knew everything I liked and disliked already, actually, he probably knew everything about me.

  “I’d like it if you weren’t going out with Noah,” Dad muttered next to me. “What happened to the other boy?”

  I scowled at him. “He’s ten times the gentleman than Dustin was.”

  Dad looked surprised. “Wait, that Dustin tried something on you?” Now, he looked upset. “You better not let any boy push you into doing anything you don’t want to do. I raised you better than that.”

  “Exactly,” I told him. “You raised me. I know I make mistakes but Noah will never be one of them.”

  He paused. “Even if he breaks your heart?” Dad raked his hands through his hair. “Gracie, what happens when he becomes his father?”

  “That’s not even fair. Noah is not his parents. You know him! He practically lived here growing up.”

  He dropped his head. “I know he’s a good kid, but I’ve seen plenty of good people turn into bad ones who I never thought in a million years would.”

  “Those chances apply to all of us, Dad!” I hissed, staring at him before finally looking through the blinds again. “Noah’s here. I’m leaving.”’

  ______

  “Did you bring another girl besides me here?” I asked Noah as we walked the trail to Jack’s dad’s cabin.

  “No, but I can’t be sure as to how many Jack and Lance has brought here,” he told me and I snorted.

  “So… bringing me up here to seduce me?” I teased.

  He teased back, “Like I even have to seduce you.”

  I opened my mouth wide and pushed him. “That is so… true.” I looked up at the darkening sky. “This is what I miss about summer… the sun always leaves us too soon in the cold months.” I started blowing out air to watch it fog.

  “Tell me about it,” he said, placing his hand on a tree. I watched him step ahead of me and a wicked idea came to me.

  I stopped and started creating distance between us. “Noah, I want an adventure,” I told him randomly.

  He turned his head and squinted. “What are you up to?” He eyed me suspiciously.

  I was still backing away from him. “I’m a damsel running in the woods trying to make it to my prince’s castle.” He tossed his head back and groaned and I went on with a smile, “There’s a beast-boy in the woods out to get me, a complete savage he is.”

  “Let me guess…” He tipped his head forward. “I’m the savage?”

  I nodded before placing the back of my hand against my forehead dramatically. “Oh, what he’ll do if he catc
hes me. Oh, how he might ravish me and make me his.”

  “Just what kind of books have you been reading lately?” he asked with a smirk.

  “Catch me if you can,” I told him before I took off running toward my left. I wasn’t a rookie when it came to running in the woods but this was something I wouldn’t have done if it had already been completely dark outside. Hopefully, he caught me before it got any darker though. I couldn’t hear anything over the noises I was making on my own and my heavy laughter. I peeked back to see if I saw him and screamed when he grabbed me. I started laughing again when I saw that he had even put his hood over his head. I tried to get away from him with real effort but he tossed me over his shoulder easily.

  “I probably should have gotten further away before I had told you the plan,” I said into his back as his fingers slid between my thighs and gripped my leg fat possessively. The only thing he did was grunt in response as he placed his fingers over my sex, and I reacted to his touch even with my jeans between us. I knew I was supposed to be kicking and screaming, but the only thing I could manage to do was slide my hands around him to admire the ridges on his stomach before feeling the bulge in his jeans. I continued touching him everywhere as he carried me in silence. My body was lit like a candle, too much longer and I feared I’d turn to liquid.

  When I saw the cabin in the distance, I decided to get back into the idea of fighting him to get free again. I started squirming and pinching his back but his grip was made of iron and soon my stomach dipped into my toes as he tried unlocking the door to the cabin. “I don’t think so,” I mumbled as I pressed my leg onto the cabin wall and pushed. I didn’t expect Noah to lose his balance like he did, but he started pulling me up as he fell backward so that I would land on him. I was breathing heavily as I smiled and hurried to get away. His hands slipped around my waist and jerked me back onto him.