Lost To The Bear (BBW Bear Shifter Romance)

by Ariana Hawkes

  “Just a moment.” He went over to a cabinet and began rifling through some papers. “Very interesting you should say that. It happens that we’ve had this gang in our sights for some time. We believe that they’re involved in the arms trade and sex trafficking. We’ve been observing them, but so far, we haven’t been able to find a way in. But it seems that your current predicament will be the ideal solution.” Rockland frowned.

  “Predicament? What do you mean?”

  “I mean that we need a female agent to help us infiltrate the house, and, as you know, we don’t have any women on our books. So perhaps you can enlist the help of your mate.” Rockland’s throat tightened.

  “I don’t have a mate.”

  “Don’t lie to me, Rockland. I can smell her on you.” Rockland shook his head vigorously.

  “No. I was helped by a woman when I lost my memory, and we have been spending some time together. But she’s not my mate.”

  “She will be though, when you’re given your freedom from the agency.” Rockland stayed silent. Of course, he’d been thinking of nothing else than how much he wanted Paige to become his mate. “That’s the deal, Rockland. We can’t infiltrate the house without a woman’s help. You must ask your little friend to help you.”

  “No way!” he almost shouted. “There’s no way I’m going to put her in danger. It’s not up for discussion.” The Commander lifted his hands and dropped them again.

  “I don’t expect it to be an easy choice. But this is the condition I’m giving you in exchange for your freedom. Take it or leave it.” He took a folder out of the filing cabinet and handed it to him. “When you’ve made your decision, communicate it to me in the usual way.” Without another word, he turned on his heel and strode out of the room, leaving Rockland staring after him.

  Rockland sat down, opened the folder and leafed through a series of profiles and assessments, his eyes getting wider and wider.

  The occupants were a particularly nasty bunch of characters.

  “No way,” he said aloud. There was no way he was going to expose Paige to any kind of danger, never mind putting her in direct contact with such an evil gang. His bear pushed at his skin. Mate, it muttered. Just one more mission. You can look after Paige. Make sure she doesn’t come to any harm. Then you’ll be free, and she’ll be yours. Forever. He shook his head vigorously. No. This was not going to happen. And then his fists clenched and his throat constricted. And this meant he couldn’t be with Paige. He knew the Commander wasn’t a man to go back on his word. If he refused to enlist Paige’s help, he wouldn’t be able to leave the agency, ever. The Commander wouldn’t change his mind in a year’s time, or in a decade. That would be it. He might as well say goodbye to Paige right now. A wave of grief rolled through his massive chest. So that was it. He got to his feet and slammed out of the office.

  Paige was downstairs in the bar. As soon as she saw him, she hurtled across the room and threw herself into his arms. She looked up at him through her long bangs, hazel eyes flashing with emotion, and he dipped his head, planting a kiss on her cherry-red lips. Bliss coursed through his body, but it was instantly replaced by pain.

  “Hey, sweetie,” he said, playing with a strand of her hair. “What are you doing working?”

  “Oh, I just decided to help Darlene out for a couple hours while I was waiting for you to get back. Did you get everything done?” She was watching him closely, studying his reactions.

  “Oh, yeah, it was nothing. Just admin,” he said carelessly.

  “Good. I can leave now. Shall we go get lunch?”

  “Yes.” He forced his lips into a smile. Just try to enjoy these last few moments with her, he told himself.

  It was impossible though. His bear howled and fretted deep inside him. He only had two more days to spend with her, and then he’d never see her again.

  They drove to a diner in town.

  “What’s wrong, Rockland?” Paige asked as soon as they’d ordered.

  “Huh?” He brushed his hair back from his forehead. “Nothing, baby.” Paige blinked, the whites of her eyes becoming very large.

  “Rockland, don’t lie to me,” she said, in a far sterner tone than he’d ever heard her use before. He couldn’t resist a small smile.

  “What makes you think anything’s wrong?”

  “Uh, the fact that I know you. I can see it in your face.” A little stab of something sharp and sweet hit him in the stomach. She does know me, he realized. Better than anyone. In fact, she’s the only one who knows the real me. The me I wasn’t even sure existed until I met her, and discovered that there was more to me than being an undercover agent. He stalled. He’d been hoping to bring her some good news, but now he was about to give her shitty news instead.

  “I went to see the Commander of my agency,” he said slowly.

  “Why? You’re not due back for a couple of days.”

  “I went to ask him if I could leave the agency.” Her lips parted in an adorable O.

  “And?”

  “He said no.” Her face crumpled, and it almost broke his heart. But then a fierce look came into her eyes.

  “What? Just like that? He doesn’t own you, Rockland. It’s just a job. If you want to leave, you can leave.” He shook his head sadly.

  “No, it’s far more than a job. Anyone who becomes part of the agency pretty much assumes that they’ll never leave it. And I’ve been a part of it since I was a cub.”

  “Exactly. You had no say in the matter.” She reached across the table and took his hand. “Come on, Rockland. You’ve worked for them for how many years? I’m sure you’ve paid whatever dues they think you owe them.” He groaned.

  “I wish it was that simple.”

  “So – that’s it? They just said no, and it’s bad luck to you?” She kept staring into his eyes, and as much as he wanted to look away, he couldn’t. There was something almost hypnotic about her gaze. Those beautiful golden eyes peering right into his soul. “No, they didn’t!” she said triumphantly. “They said something else. What did they say, Rockland? What is it that you don’t want to tell me?” He huffed out a long breath, while his bear let off purrs of encouragement.

  “They said I can leave. If I complete one last mission,” he said at last.

  “That’s great!” He shook his head.

  “It’s not. They said I need to involve you in the mission. It involves a gang that’s into some real seedy stuff, and they need a female to help infiltrate them.” Paige wrinkled her nose.

  “I don’t get it. Why don’t they just use a female agent?”

  “There are no female agents. It’s an all-male operation. They’re kind of old fashioned and way back they decided that the job was too dangerous for women.” To his surprise, he sensed her bristling, her wildcat coming close to the surface.

  “So why aren’t you asking me to help, instead of telling me that you’re not leaving the agency?”

  “Because it’s too dangerous, Paige. There’s no way I’d risk your safety like that. I told them the answer’s no.” Her eyes narrowed and he saw something shift in the bones of her face.

  “And I don’t even get a say in this? You’re just going to walk away from me without even giving me the option of helping you?”

  “I can’t let you.”

  “Well, tough. Because my answer is yes. I’ll do whatever it takes. I just want to be with you, Rockland.” He lifted a hand and stroked the plane of her cheek, marveling at how her features had gotten so angular.

  “And I want to be with you, Paige. But it’s too dangerous. You could be risking your life.”

  “It’s a risk I’m willing to take. I didn’t even have much of a life before I met you. Now all I want is to be your mate.”

  “And it’s my job to protect my mate, not deliberately put her in the path of danger.” Paige pressed her hands against the table, and her fingernails scraped the wood, leaving two sets of claw marks.

  “This is my choice, Rockland. I’m helpin
g you, and that’s final. Just tell me what I have to do.”

  He stared at her in silence, thinking. He didn’t like the idea one bit. But he’d be with her, protecting her. He could ensure that she was never in danger.

  “Okay,” he said at last. “But I’ll make sure that I’m watching you the whole time, and if I think it’s too much, I’ll give you a signal to get out.” She broke into a huge grin.

  But when he explained what she needed to do, her face fell.

  “I’m no way hot enough to be a decoy,” she said.

  “Paige, you’re absolutely gorgeous. Are you kidding me? You’re every man’s dream.” A blush heated her cheeks, making her look vulnerable again.

  “All I care about is whether I’m your dream.”

  “You’re the best dream imaginable, Paige Flanagan,” he said, lacing his fingers in hers, stunned by her fearlessness.

  “So when do we do it?” she demanded.

  “The agency will initiate email contact with the gang. They have a forestry business as a cover for their real activities, so that should be relatively easy. And we wait until they tell us that they’re ready for you to meet with them.”

  “Okay. Bring it on,” she said, and her eyes glittered feline-green.

  14

  Rockland pulled up in a narrow street and turned off the engine. Paige’s nose wrinkled and she turned to look at him questioningly.

  “Remember, we’re ultimately looking for information, but it might take a while to get to that point. Today you just need to try to make him like you, gain his trust. We’re supposed to be a potential customer, but the agency has dropped enough clues in their email communications that he should expect us to be involved in the trafficking industry.”

  “Okay.”

  “If you get the opportunity, try to take some photos, but no heroics. Don’t do anything that could endanger either of us.”

  “Got it.”

  They got out of the car and began to walk to the house, Paige moving confidently to mask her nerves. They were about to try to work their way into the house of a potential pimp and drug lord. It was like something out of a movie. But backing out wasn’t an option. This mission was the one thing that stood in the way of Rockland becoming her mate, and she was determined to give it her absolute best shot.

  Still, she shuddered as they arrived at the high, forbidding gates that surrounded the property. The house itself was ugly and somehow radiated a sense of evil. Deep inside, her wildcat’s tail twitched.

  Rockland pressed the intercom and introduced them by their fake names.

  “Wait there,” a harsh, thick voice commanded.

  A minute later, a man emerged from the front door of the house and walked down the long driveway. As he arrived, the gate swung open just wide enough for one person to slip through. He was short and thickset with dark circles under his eyes and lips pulled back into an unpleasant sneer. He had greasy black hair and he was wearing a stained t-shirt that pulled tight across a vast belly. As soon as he saw Paige, a lascivious look darkened his eyes and he looked her up and down in a way that made her skin crawl.

  “Just the girl,” he said. Rockland gave a light laugh that was completely unlike his natural laughter.

  “My colleague and I usually work together,” he said. The man jerked his chin upward.

  “That’s not how I work. I’ll meet the girl by herself, or the meeting is cancelled.”

  “Then, I’m sorry but –”

  “It’s fine,” Paige butted in. “I understand Mr Jackson’s need for privacy, and I’m willing to meet him one-on-one on this occasion.”

  “That’s not how we do things,” Rockland continued.

  “It’s fine. I promise,” Paige said, already stepping through the gate. The man pushed the gate closed behind her.

  “Follow me,” he said and began walking quickly toward the house.

  As she turned to look back at Rockland, she caught a look of panic in his eyes. She winked to reassure him, then strode after the man, her heart hammering in her chest. She could hardly believe what she was doing, and every instinct was urging her to refuse to enter the property by herself. But she had to do it. There was no question about it. Just sit down with the guy. Have the meeting. Act like you work for a timber merchant, and don’t drop your alias unless he reveals his true business to you, she reminded herself, the heels of her corporate-style shoes scraping on the gravel.

  As she walked through the heavy front door and entered the house, she swallowed hard. The place exuded a sense of sadness and suffering, which seemed to breathe from the walls and hang in the air.

  “This way,” the man said in a brusque tone, directing her to a door that led off a dark passageway. The room within was small and musty, with papers laying everywhere. Her heart thudded. Rockland had told her not to expect to find any documents lying around, but this looked like a treasure trove. She only hoped that she’d have the opportunity to distract him long enough to photograph them.

  The man closed the door and directed her to a seat opposite him at a plain metal table. He stared at her, his eyes boring into hers.

  “So, you and your partner came here to destroy my business,” he said. Paige’s eyes widened and her breath hitched in her throat. What is he saying?

  “I don’t know where you got that idea from. We’ve come to make your business more profitable,” she managed to say, her voice miraculously calm. He leaned forward in his seat, his eyes bulging.

  “You can drop that crap now. I know who you are. I know you’re working for some extra-governmental agency. And that someone in your agency doesn’t like you very much at all.” The hairs on the back of Paige’s neck stood up and she opened her mouth and closed it again, her mind racing. How the hell could he have found that out? “I also know that you’re trying to find out if we’re people traffickers.” He slapped the table with the flat of his hand. “I don’t mind telling you that we are. Our business has been running for years now. We’ve picked up girls all over the place. Girls who nobody cares about. Breaking them in and sending them off to customers who are willing to pay handsomely for them. And you’re just about to become our latest acquisition.”

  “I’m not about to become anybody’s acquisition!” Paige snapped. He leaned back in his chair, laced his hands behind his head and regarded her with a lustful smirk.

  “I’m afraid you are. When I’m done with you anyway,” he said.

  Paige’s stomach churned, and sense told her to get to her feet and run, but a question was burning in her mind and she had to know the answer to it.

  “There was a woman, a long time back. Maybe 25 years ago. She had long red hair, green eyes and a star-shaped birthmark on her cheek,” she began, and immediately saw a glint of recognition in his eyes. “Did you do something to her?” she demanded.

  “She was my first. She sure was a pretty thing. But a lot of trouble to have as a commodity, if you know what I mean. And I was inexperienced. So I let her go.” His lips curled into an ugly smile. Paige’s skin began to burn all over, and the bones in her face and her arms and legs started to hurt a lot.

  “You ruined her life,” she spat, her voice sounding harsh and hissing to her own ears.

  “I can’t say I’m sorry. She was a great piece –”

  Paige didn’t hear another word, as something very dramatic was happening to her body. Her bones were all cracking, as if they were breaking from the inside out, fur started sprouting through her skin, her fingernails turned to claws, and her clothes got tighter and tighter, before they ripped and burst off her altogether. There was a big crack, and she was thrown forward by an overwhelming force. She was suddenly on all fours on the ground, but her hands were no longer hands, but spotted brown paws with gleaming black claws. Hardly knowing what she was doing, she arched her back, raising her ass and bringing her head down low, stretching out the bones of her spine, while swishing her tail – yes, her tail – she could feel it, long and agile, twitching b
ehind her. And then she opened her jaws wide and let off a ferocious roar. The man stared at her dumbstruck, like a deer caught in the headlights.

  “What the?” he began to say. And she leapt. Her newly agile legs sprung her right onto the desk, her front paws landing on his shoulders, and the claws breaking through his flesh. Instinct took over. Her claws slashed and her teeth gnashed, and thirty seconds later, the man was slumped back on his chair, his eyes already glazing over and his throat ripped open. She sat back on the desk and let off a roar of triumph. She’d shifted, for the first time in her life. And she’d killed a man. No, not a man. A walking asshole who ruined mama’s life. Should I feel bad about this? she wondered, but her thoughts were cut off by a sound outside the window of the room. It wasn’t loud, but she knew it instantly. It was a deep, rumbling growl. A second later, the glass shattered, and a huge black paw broke through the window.

  “Rockland!” she yelled. But instead of words, a throaty animal call erupted from her chest. The paw was followed by the face of a full-grown bear, with sharp white teeth. He looked at the body of her would-be attacker and gave a rumble of approval, then he jerked his head toward the door. He was too big to come through the window. Of course. She leapt over to the door. It was locked, but in a moment she’d figured out how to use her deft paws to open the catch. She ran to the front door, her nails clicking on the hard floors, and stood on her hind legs while she worked at three sets of locks. The final lock clicked open and a long muzzle pushed through the gap between the door and the frame, quickly followed by the whole of Rockland’s massive body, sleek with glossy black fur. An involuntary purr escaped her lips and his long tongue shot out and licked her across the nuzzle. It’s okay; we’re safe now, she told herself. She looked at him expectantly. What happens now? As if sensing her questions, he began to shift. She watched in awe as bear became man, swiftly and elegantly, with none of the weird cracking and crunching that she’d experienced. Then the man she loved stood in front of her, magnificent in his nakedness. Okay, my turn, she told herself. She concentrated hard, trying to push her human skin to the surface, willing her claws and fur to retract.