Never Close Enough

by Anie Michaels

  He paused at her opening again, looking into her eyes. When he finally pushed into her, he wasn’t prepared to feel all the air being forced form his lungs or the way being connected to her this way made him warmth all over. He framed her face with his hands, content to just be inside of her for a moment, brushing the hair from her face. She ran her hands up his back, slowly caressing his skin, barely breathing herself.

  “I love you, Porter,” she whispered. She was looking up at him and in her eyes he saw something different than before. He was looking at his future. He didn’t know how any of it had happened, or if he even deserved it, but she was his everything now. He would do anything to make sure she was with him always.

  “It makes me so happy to hear you say that,” he said as he nuzzled against her neck. “I want to hear you say it forever,” he breathed into her neck. He came back to kiss her lightly on her lips, pushing into her again, deep and strong. “I love you too.”

  Then he began to move, rhythmically stroking in and out, constantly touching her. His hands were roaming her, finding her hips, her breasts, her thighs. She was so responsive, meeting him at every thrust, seeming to need to contact as much as he did. When she dug her nails into his back, it lit a fire in him and his motions became more forceful and passionate.

  “Oh yes,” she moaned, her eyes closed.

  “You belong with me,” he growled. “Open your eyes, Baby, I want to watch you come.”

  Her eyes darted open and with just a few more thrusts she came apart around him. He followed shortly after. He collapsed onto her, but wasted no time dusting light kisses from her mouth, down her cheek, to her neck. He slowly came down from his high and felt content to be wrapped around her, still inside of her, breathing in her scent. He might have fallen asleep for a few minutes, but was roused when he felt her move slightly. He saw her hand move across her face, leave a trail of wetness.

  “Baby, what’s wrong? Are you crying?” He asked as he turned her chin towards him. She was definitely crying and the sight of it had his stomach in knots.

  “It just makes me sad to think that I was almost stupid enough to let you go,” she sniffled. He exhaled and then presses a kiss to her temple.

  “I understand that you were scared, Ella. I’m not saying that I wasn’t scared either, but I don’t want to you to get upset about it anymore. We’re together now and that’s all that matters.”

  “I was scared, Porter, and I still am. I won’t lie to you about it. I am still terrified that come Sunday we’ll go our separate ways and being so far away will tear us apart.” Porter was gently running his hand down her hair, trying to sooth her.

  “Ella, you are seriously mistaken if you think you will be going more than a few days without seeing me. Besides, do you think I could make it very long without you? I want to be with you all the time, but I know that’s not healthy. It wouldn’t do either of us any good to drop everything and move. We need to build a relationship, which means learning to trust each other and miss one another.”

  “Porter, I don’t want that. I don’t want you to drop everything and move. That’s the last thing I want. From here on out I need to know that we are on equal footing here. Whatever decisions we make about our relationship need to be based on compromise. I don’t want one of us giving up more than the other. I couldn’t live with myself if I felt like I was tearing your life up from the roots. I want us to be in this together.”

  A smile spread across his face as he placed his hand on her cheek and moved it back to cradle her neck.

  “I would love nothing more than to be in this together, with you.” He placed a kiss on her mouth, pulling her closer to him, and he felt her smile against his lips.

  The next morning when he woke up, he found her still wrapped around him and his arms were holding her in place. He realized he was still inside of her and the thought of spending a night connected to her like that had his heart racing. It was the most intimate scenario he could imagine and it made him love her even more.

  “My beautiful Ella,” he whispered against her temple. She stirred a little, eventually opening her eyes and blinking a few times.

  “Hello there, Handsome,” she smiled.

  “I’m sorry to wake you, but I’ve got to go to work.”

  “Ok,” she sighed.

  “Can I see you tonight?”

  “Of course,” she smiled.

  He kissed her lightly, and rolled away, dissolving their connection. After he’d righted himself and gotten dressed, he leaned down to the bed to kiss her again.

  “Bye, Baby, I’ll text you later.” He laughed because she couldn’t bother to open her eyes or kiss him back; she was almost asleep again.

  “M’kay. Love you,” she mumbled into her pillow and his heart nearly exploded out of his chest.

  “Love you too,” he said close to her ear and then headed for the door.

  Ella

  Ella woke a few hours after he had left, stretching, remembering the night before. Campfire. Kissing. Rain. Laughing. Loving. She rolled over and smiled to herself. She was so happy he had come over and wanted to be with her, officially. Her muscles were sore and she was a little slow to sit up in her bed. She had a whole day to fill before he was off work and she needed something to do. An idea occurred to her and she quickly grabbed her phone to type a text to her sister.

  **Hey, Megs. Are you free this afternoon?**

  **My last class is over at noon. What’s up?**

  **Want to meet in Salem for lunch and shopping?**

  **I’ve love to. Is everything ok?**

  **Everything is fine. I’ll fill you in when I see you at lunch. I need your help with a special project.**

  **There is a cute little deli on Main Street. Want to meet there at one thirty?**

  **Great, see you then!**

  Ella pulled up to the deli right on time and went in to find Megan already sitting at a table. They hugged and both ordered a sandwich from a polite waitress.

  “Hey, Sis, thanks for meeting me. How was class?”

  “Oh no, Ella. We didn’t come here to small talk. What’s happened now in the roller coaster that is your life?”

  Ella frowned. “My life isn’t a roller coaster,” she pouted.

  “Oh, yes it is and I love it. Now, tell me what’s happened.”

  Ella figured it was pointless to deny it; her life was a little crazy as of late.

  “Well, the morning after we talked on the phone, Porter’s mother came to my house.” Megan’s eyebrows shot up.

  “Oh my. Was she in mamma bear mode?”

  Ella cocked her head to the side, contemplating the question.

  “Well, yes and no. At first I thought she was there to convince me to go back to him, or yell at me for hurting him. But eventually, she was a little more focused on me. She was trying to tell me that I shouldn’t let my fear keep me from being happy.”

  “Smart woman.”

  “Yes, there are a few smart women in my life at the moment,” Ella winked at her sister.

  “So then what happened?”

  “Well, coincidentally, Porter texted me while his mom was there and I agreed to see him last night. He showed up and told me to meet him on the beach. When I went out, Megan, he had set up a campfire with blankets and champagne.” Megan smiled and placed a hand over her heart.

  “Aw, he loves you, Fella!”

  “Yes, I know. We talked, well, he talked. He basically wasn’t taking no for an answer, which is good because my answer was yes.”

  “Yes?!”

  “Yes.”

  “You’re together?”

  “Very much together,” Ella smiled.

  “I am so glad, Ella. You look so happy right now.”

  “I am, Megan. I feel amazing.”

  “Good sex, huh?”

  “Oh my God, Megs, shut up.” But Ella couldn’t keep the smirk off of her face.

  “I knew it. You slut,” Megan laughed. “So what’s the plan then? Are
you guys going to do the long distance thing?”

  “In the beginning, yes. He doesn’t seem too worried about it, so I’m not going to worry about it. If I want to see him, I will just drive out and see him. Gas prices be damned.”

  Their sandwiches arrived and as they ate they spoke some more about Porter and a little about Megan and Patrick’s graduation coming up.

  “I can’t believe my baby sister is graduating from college.”

  “Well, believe it. Now we’ve just got to find jobs.”

  An idea came to Ella’s mind and she was immediately excited about it. It wasn’t something to jump into though, so she would have to mull it over for a while. She pushed the thought to the back of her mind, saving it for later.

  “That is sort of the next step,” Ella replied.

  “Well, speaking of next steps, what is this project you need help with?”

  Ella smiled to herself, trying to hide the flush of embarrassment that washed over her.

  “I was hoping you could come with me and help me pick something out.”

  “Ok, captain mysterious. What are we picking out?”

  “Well, Porter sort of has an affinity for lingerie.”

  “What man doesn’t?” Megan laughed.

  “Yes, well, Porter seems to really like it. So I was hoping you wouldn’t mind helping me pick something out. I would appreciate another girl’s opinion.”

  “Sounds fun. I might pick something up for myself while we’re at it,” Megan waggled her eyebrows at her.

  “Now who’s the slut?” Ella laughed. Megan laughed with her, covering her mouth.

  “Ok, let’s get our slutty selves out of here and to the trashy lingerie store.”

  Ella was in a fitting room of a small boutique lingerie store, and she was a little overwhelmed by what she had in front of her. Megan had basically thrown piles and piles of lace and satin in her arms and shoved her in a dressing room. Ella went to sorting things out by style. One pile for nighties, one pile for bras and panties, and another pile for ridiculously perverted pieces of cloth that no respectable woman would wear. Ella held up a pair or neon green crotchless panties.

  “Megan, I am not about to be in a porn movie. Don’t bring me crotchless panties.”

  “Ella, don’t be a prude. Crotchless panties aren’t just for porn stars. They’re pretty practical and men love them.”

  “Oh dear God, please stop talking. I will never be able to look at Patrick the same.” She heard Megan giggle on the other side of the door. “I think we missed the mark, Megs. I’m looking for smoking hot, not totally trashy.”

  Megan groaned. “Those two things are not mutually exclusive, Fella.”

  “Ok, well, I need something softer, not so harsh. I want him to look at me and do a double take, not have a heart attack.”

  “Fine, wait a minute, I’ll be right back,” Megan said impatiently.

  “He really likes lace,” Ella yelled to Megan as she walked away.

  A few minutes later Megan knocked on her door.

  “This is as soft as it gets, Ella. Anything softer and you’re going to have to go to a granny shop or something.”

  Ella cracked the door open and Megan handed in an indistinguishable pile of lace. As Ella untangled it, she immediately started smiling.

  “Nice work, Megs. This is exactly what I was looking for.”

  “Glad to be of service.”

  Ella put on the navy blue corset, made of lace, with scalloped edging all alone the bottom. It came with matching lace boyshort panties. The corset pushed everything in and up and even Ella was approving of the image of her breasts hoisted up for display. The boyshorts were playful and sexy, and rode up just enough to accentuate the curve at the bottom of her ass. She was turning every which way, trying to catch all different angles. Finally, she opened the door just a little, and called for her sister. Once she was right outside the door, Ella opened up enough for her to see.

  “Oh Ella, you’re in trouble tonight,” Megan said as her yes moved up and down the outfit.

  “You like it?”

  “Definitely, yes. Buy it. In all colors available.”

  Ella laughed. “It’s missing something though. I need some fuck-me heels.”

  Megan laughed out loud. “Now we’re talking!”

  With her sister’s help, she had found the perfect pair of heels to complete her outfit. They were walking to their cars in the parking lot.

  “Thanks for meeting me and for helping me pick this stuff out.”

  “I live for lingerie shopping.”

  “Patrick’s a lucky guy.”

  “Damn straight,” Megan agreed, waving her own bag full of sexy purchases. “So is Porter. I am so glad you guys worked it out.” Megan had a thoughtful look on her face. “You realize that Mom and Dad still think you’re with Kyle, right? You’ve broken up with him and fallen in love with a completely different man whom they’re never met, and you haven’t told them any of it.”

  “Yes, I know,” she exhaled loudly. “I just don’t think I should tell them this over the phone. I will tell them next week when everything calms down a bit.”

  “Ok, well as long as you know what you’re doing.”

  “I do.”

  “Ok, well, have fun tonight and I will see you next week when you get home.” Megan gave Ella a big hug. “Love you, Sis.”

  “Love you back. Drive safe and thanks again.” When she got into her car she checked her phone and saw she had a text from Porter.

  **Hey, Baby. What are you up to?**

  **I met my sister in Salem for lunch and shopping. How is your day going?**

  **My day is fine. I wish you would have told me you were going to Salem. You’ve got no jumper cables. I could have left you mine.**

  Ella smiled and rolled her eyes at his concern.

  **I’m sorry. Don’t worry. I made it here fine and I am on my way home now. If I run into any trouble, I will let you know.**

  **Okay, text me when you make it back to Lincoln City.**

  **I will, promise. Have a good rest of your day**

  **Please be careful. I love you.**

  **Love you too.**

  It was going to take some getting used to having someone so protective over her. Ella thought it was attractive the way he fussed over her; it made her feel safe. She had only one more stop to make before she put her master plan into action.

  Ella pulled up to Tilly’s, and took a deep breath before she got out of the car and headed towards the door. Once she was inside, she was reminded of how friendly and welcoming the bar was and it reminded her of its owner. She knew Tilly had just been protective of Porter and that was the driving force behind coming to confront her. She tried to remember how nice Tilly had been the night she first arrived and hoped that she hadn’t permanently marred Tilly’s opinion of her. It was important to her that she got along with Porter’s mother.

  She saw Tilly behind the bar, and when they met eyes, Tilly gave Ella a very big and genuine smile. Ella felt a little more comfortable approaching her, keeping her own smile plastered on her face.

  “Hello, Tilly. It’s nice to see you,” Ella said, hoping she didn’t sound too nervous. Tilly took a step from behind the bar and came to Ella and wrapped her in a big, warm hug.

  “It’s nice to see you too, Ella. I am so glad you’re here.” Tilly took a step back, her hands still resting on Ella’s shoulders, eyes twinkling at her to compliment the smile she still wore. “Can I get you something? A drink?”

  “You know? I would really like a beer,” Ella decided.

  “Coming up. Now why are you really here?” Tilly asked as she put a bottle in front of Ella.

  “Well, I was hoping I could ask you for a favor. Have you spoken to Porter?”

  “No, not since yesterday morning. Sometimes he stops in before work, but he didn’t today. I’m hoping he was too busy,” Tilly winked at her and Ella almost died of embarrassment as she felt a wave of heat from the bl
ush that was most certainly crawling across her face.

  “Well, regardless, I wanted to say thank you for coming to speak with me yesterday. I needed someone to help me see a different point of view and yours really helped. I just need a little more perspective. I was hoping that you had a spare key to Porter’s house that I could borrow.”

  “You want a key to his house?”

  “Um, yes. I wanted to surprise him with dinner, so I thought if you had a key I could borrow it, just for the day.”

  “I am to assume, then, that you and my son have decided to give it another shot?” Ella looked down at her beer, unable to look Tilly in the eye because it was all a little too embarrassing.

  “I was hoping he would have told you by now, but yes, we are together. He came by last night and we talked everything through.” Ella finally looked up at Tilly, trying to overcome her discomfort, only to see wetness in Tilly’s eyes. Ella’s eyes became wide, realizing that Tilly was getting emotional. “Tilly, please don’t cry. It’s ok. Porter is fine. We worked everything out.”

  “Oh, Ella honey, I know he is fine,” she said sniffling and grabbing a towel off the counter to wipe her nose. “You just don’t understand. After his daddy died, Porter just sort of turned off emotionally. He has always been a good son and he’s a hard worker, but he has been so disconnected. I was always so worried that he would spend his life alone.” Tilly started crying harder now and Ella was compelled to go behind the bar to comfort her. As Ella approached Tilly, she hugged her hard again, silently crying onto Ella’s shoulder.

  “If it’s any consolation, I feel like Porter is far from shut down in the emotional department,” Ella said softly. “He is the most caring and sweet man I have ever known. He feels everything so deeply and he is so considerate. When I am with him I am blown away by how much he cares about me. He might have been shut down before, but he’s doing fine now.” Tilly cried a little harder with her words.