Never Close Enough

by Anie Michaels

  “I knew you loved me,” he whispered.

  “I knew I loved you too. I just needed a little time to acclimate myself to the idea of loving someone so deeply just days after meeting them. You can’t deny that this, what’s between us, is a little unconventional.”

  “I don’t really care,” he said firmly. She smiled at that, because it was exactly what she needed to hear.

  “I guess I don’t care anymore either.” She gently moved some locks of his crazy hair from his forehead and spent a few moments admiring how ridiculously handsome he was, using her fingers to smooth over the features of his face. “Porter, I am sorry about last night. I never wanted to hurt you. More than anything, I was just trying to protect myself. I went about it the wrong way, though. I should trust you and myself for protection, because keeping myself away from you did more harm than good.” He let out a loud sigh and rolled onto his back to look up at the sky. She hated that he pulled away from her, but knew he was working through something in his mind, and she wanted to give him the space he needed.

  “Last night was possibly the worst night I’ve had since my father died. I was torn apart, Ella. I don’t ever want to feel that way again.” Ella looked over at him, his words slicing her open.

  “I am so sorry, Porter.”

  He turned his head until their eyes met.

  “I’d do it again, if it meant you’d come back to me. I’d do it a million times for you. But I’d rather not.”

  She rolled over slightly, hoping he’d hold her. He moved his arm out for her and she snuggled into his chest. The rhythmic rise and fall of his chest was soothing and let her relax for the first time that day. As she let herself unwind, she started to feel an emptiness in her stomach and realized she was starving.

  “What’s in the picnic basket?” She asked.

  “Regular campfire fixings. Hot dogs, chips, stuff to make smores. Are you hungry?”

  “Famished. I didn’t eat today.”

  “Well, let’s get the lady a hot dog then.”

  They sat up and she enjoyed watching him get everything set up as he handed her a stick with a hot dog on the end.

  “I’ve never done this before,” she said, a little embarrassed.

  “With as much time as you’ve spent on this beach, you’ve never roasted hot dogs on a fire?”

  “Nope.”

  “Ok, well, luckily for you I’m an expert hot dog roaster. Just hold the stick over the fire and when it looks done, stop.”

  Ella laughed. “Man, I’m not sure I can handle that level of culinary expertise,” her words dripped with sarcasm.

  “It’s ok. I’ll be here the whole time to supervise.”

  “My hero,” she said with a smile.

  After she’d had her fill of hot dogs and smores, Porter unrolled one of the sleeping bags, unzipping it all the way. He opened the champagne with a loud pop and poured them both a glass. He gave her both glasses and then sat down behind her wrapping them both in the sleeping bag. She gave him a glass and leaned back against his chest. She could feel his breath moving across her ear, eliciting shivers throughout her body. The need for him was coming on strong, causing an ache to form in her belly.

  He lifted his glass a little above her head.

  “A toast, Ella. To holding on to all things good, to love unexpected, and to finding something you never knew you were missing.” He touched his glass to hers with a clink and she refused to cry again. She had a feeling that she would spend a good portion of their relationship simply trying to recover from his words. Instead, she took a drink of the champagne to try and force back the emotions he was pulling out of her.

  The fog had thickened and moved inland even more creating a cloudy barrier around them. She could see the campfire, but she could no longer see anything past it. The waves could still be heard rolling and crashing onto the shore and they spent a few minutes in silence listening. Every now and again she took sips of the chilled champagne until her glass was empty. He took their empty glasses and put them in sand. She felt a chill come over her, most likely a product of the weather which was becoming more typically Oregon beach-ish by the minute, temperamental and cold. She shivered and he pulled the blanket around her tighter. She turned her head and looked up at his face, silently asking him for the contact she was desperately seeking. Of course, he understood exactly what she needed.

  His lips came down slowly to meet hers. The kiss started slow, but quickly began picking up speed and intensity until finally Ella turned fully around to face him so she could feel him with her hands. She was on her knees holding his face between her hands and she felt his five o’clock shadow, the texture beneath her hands making her yearn to feel it all over her body. She felt his hands move from her waist to her ass, gently pulling her into him further, and she smiled into their kiss. She moved to sit astride him and pulled away for a moment.

  “I am going to miss this when I go back to Portland,” she said as she kissed the side of his jaw.

  “Baby, I am not going to give you a chance to miss anything.” He moved his mouth to the side of her neck, the spot that drove her crazy, partly from knowing how much he liked nuzzling her there. A slight moan escaped from her and she could tell it only fueled his urge to devour her. And she was more than willing to allow him to follow his urges.

  “Porter, maybe we should go back to the house,” she said breathily. He pulled away and looked around.

  “We are surrounded by fog. No one can see us,” he whispered and he went back to trailing kisses along her neck.

  “Are you a closet exhibitionist?”

  “Mmmm,” he mumbled against her skin. “I am just not ready to stop kissing you, not even for a minute.” Not even she could argue with that logic. She reached behind her, grabbing the sleeping bag, and pulled it over her shoulders. Then she used her mouth against his to push him down until he was lying on his back. He pulled the sleeping bag over her head to completely cover them. The guise of privacy they had created instantly ignited a fire between them.

  Suddenly there was not enough. Not enough hands to feel him with. Not enough skin for her to kiss. Not enough time in the world to be with him and get her fill. It was imperative that she got as much from him in this moment as he had to give, because she knew what it felt like to go without.

  His hands were roaming over her body. He trailed his fingers up her thighs until he reached her shorts, but continued past them, grasping at her skin. He was grabbing her ass beneath the fabric, pushing away the lace of her panties.

  “I can’t even see your underwear, but I can tell it’s sexy.” She giggled while kissing his throat.

  “You have a serious obsession with lingerie, Mr. Masters.”

  “I have a serious obsession with you, Baby. And I love that you wear soft, sexy things under your clothes, things only I get to see,” he said as he continued to massage under her shorts.

  She crushed her mouth back down to his, his words creating a frenzy of lust and excitement in her. She felt his hands move from the back of her shorts, smoothly gliding over the tops of her thighs, and grazing the front coming ever so close to her panties covering her sex. In the back of her mind, all she could think was that they were on a public beach and anyone could happen upon them at any moment. She desperately wanted to shed their clothes, but she wasn’t comfortable having sex on the beach, as turned on as she may be.

  “Porter, please,” she said through ragged breaths. “Let’s go back inside.”

  “What’s wrong, Ella? Don’t you trust me?” He moved one of his hands to cup her sex and used his palm to grind into her over her shorts, causing her lungs to seize up. His other hand slid under her sweatshirt, found her breast, and began massaging. “I’m the only one who gets to see you like this. I wouldn’t let anyone else watch you lose yourself to me,” he said as he continued his ministrations on her most sensitive areas. Now it didn’t matter where she was, all she could pay attention to was what he was doing to her body.
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  He pulled the cup of her bra down and her breast came free in his hand. He used his fingers to roll her nipple and pull and she was all but coming apart because of it.

  “Oh God, Porter, you are so good at this,” Ella whispered, unable to get enough air in her lungs to speak any louder.

  “Feels good?” He asked. She could hear a smile in his voice.

  “Mmm. Better than good, Baby.” She could feel his arousal and she began to grind against him, partly to make him feel as good as she was, but also hoping to find some friction as she was desperate for release. Her hands snaked underneath his shirt and ran up along his masculine body, her fingers painting the picture of his muscular stomach. She pushed his shirt up as far as she could and laid wet kisses along his abs, smelling his scent of soap and wood and man.

  Faintly, in the background, she registered the sound of drops hitting the outside of the sleeping bag. Within seconds the dropping sounds came quicker, and soon it was obvious they were caught in a downpour. Both of them halted their hands and mouths, listening to the rain.

  “Porter?”

  “Yeah, Baby?”

  “Uh, I think our sexy picnic is getting rained out.” He leaned up and kissed her hard.

  “Race you to the house?” He asked. Even though there was very little light in their love tent, she could see the excitement in his eyes.

  “You’re on.” In an instant he had grabbed her waist and rolled her over so she was on her back, kissing her hard, righting the cup of her bra he’d moved for access. He threw the sleeping bag off them, which allowed the fat, cold, wet raindrops to begin the quick work of soaking through her clothes. He quickly made it to his feet and she saw her chance to take off. She was up and running as quickly as she could through the sand. She chanced a look back at him and saw him frantically using the ice bucket to pour sand on the fire that had already been mostly extinguished by the rain. Then he was coming after her and seeing him chasing her down made her heart rate triple. She was rapidly being weighed down by her soaking sweatshirt and her dripping hair was plastered across her face. She was laughing. Loud, excited, screaming laughter.

  Even though she’d obviously had the upper hand and a generous head start, she wasn’t entirely surprised when, about ten yards from her porch, she felt him come behind her and lift her in his arms and carry her the rest of the way. She couldn’t keep the laughter from spilling out of her, the happiness overwhelming her. He continued up the stairs and swung her legs around so her chest was up against his, pushing her back up against the outside of the house next to the sliding door.

  The look in his eyes halted her laughter altogether. Playful Porter was gone, replaced with I’m Going to Do Sexy Things to You Porter. She bit down on her bottom lip in anticipation and his eyes instantly went her lips. He raised his hand and used his thumb to pry her lip free, and then leaned in and sucked it into his mouth. She whimpered and he let out a sexy growl in response. His mouth moved over her cheek and back to her neck. Over his shoulder Ella could see the fog, so dense and thick, mirroring the wave of arousal she felt thickening in her body. She knew she should probably be cold, but felt nothing but the heat generated by their bodies and their love for each other.

  She reached down and grabbed the hem of his shirt, lifting it over his head. He took the opportunity to free her from her sweatshirt as well, leaving her in her bra. Their skin, only separated by the thin material covering her breasts, met in a wet slap, and he lifted her legs to wrap around her waist, pushing her harder up against the wall. Using his hips to pin her in place his hands were free to roam over her body. Everywhere his hands touched her caught on fire. It was a burning she welcomed and felt the singeing low in her core. Ella leaned back against the wall with her shoulders, pushing the hotness between her legs up against his groin. She used her hands to push his shoulders back and he removed his mouth from hers neck with a reluctant groan.

  She was looking into his eyes as she reached behind her to unclasp her bra and he watched her with wide and hungry eyes. She slid the straps down her arms and let it fall to the ground. He started to move towards her again but she put one hand on his stomach to keep him at a distance.

  “Porter?” She said using the sexiest voice she could muster. He watched as she took her free hand and skimmed it up her stomach slowly, it came all the way up the center of her body, reached her neck and then headed down again and came to rest covering her breast. “Babe?” she called to him again, secretly thrilled that she could distract him with her body.

  “Yes?” His answer was a rush of air, nothing more.

  “Do you see what I’m doing here? How I’m touching myself?” Her hand continued to massage her breast, stopping intermittently to tug on her nipple. She felt wanton and crazy sexy putting on this show for him out in the open on her porch.

  “I see, yes,” he growled, pushing his groin up against her.

  “I want you to carry me inside and take over.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  Porter

  Porter was looking at quite possibly the hottest thing he’s ever seen. Ella was wrapped around him, touching herself. She was writhing around, doing terribly sexy things, and she wanted him to take her inside. He didn’t need to be told twice. He grabbed her around her middle and carried her in the house. He put her down once they were in the warmth of the living room, but wasted no time peeling the soaked shorts from her body. Leaving her just in her underwear, he picked her up again and carried her all the way up the stairs and to her bedroom.

  He laid her down on the bed and crawled over her, scraping his nose all the way from the apex of her thighs, up her belly, between her breasts and up her throat. All along his journey he was smelling her and nuzzling her, trying to fill his senses with her. He stopped when he reached the crook between her shoulder and neck, breathing her in. He lifted his face to look her in the eye.

  “I swear I am going to do everything I can to make you happy, Ella.”

  “I know you will, Baby,” she said as she ran her hand down the side of his face.

  “I love you,” he said quietly.

  “I know,” she whispered. “Show me.”

  He stepped off the bed and took his pants and boxers off, making sure to grab the condoms from his wallet, very glad he’d decided to bet on reconciliation. He kneeled on the bed at her feet. He lifted one foot to his mouth and began trailing kisses from her toe all the way along her calf. She was watching him, her clear blue eyes hooded and asking him for more. His mouth continued its assault up her thigh, his hands worshiping her skin, squeezing and rubbing up and down her legs. She was so sexy, and so perfect. He couldn’t keep the smile from his face knowing that she was his. The last twenty-four hours had been hell, wondering if he could ever convince her to trust herself enough to be with him. The depth of love he felt for her was earth shattering, and he was going to do his best to show her how he felt.

  He ran his mouth along the crease between her thigh and her sex, nibbling a little along the way. He pulled her underwear down her legs, bent her knees up, and then let them drop to the sides, and then groaned at the sight of her, open and on display.

  “Oh, Ella, you are one gorgeous woman,” he said as he gently took a finger and teased her opening. He heard her breath catch, and watched as her eyes rolled back into her head. As he sank two fingers into her, he heard her whimper and he fought to keep his composure. He was determined to make this about her and give her everything he could. He began slowly pumping his fingers in and out, delighting in the fact that she was responding by meeting his thrusts.

  “You’re mine, Ella,” he said through clamped teeth.

  “Oh, yes,” she breathed.

  “Say it, tell me you’re mine.”

  “I’m yours, Porter, only yours.”

  “I want what’s mine, understand? I protect what’s mine,” he said as he was pumping into her faster, using his fingers to find her sweet spot.

  “Yes.” It was no longer and an
swer, but more of a long, loud, moaning affirmation. Her hands were twisted in the sheets as she grasped them at her sides. “Porter,” she panted. “I need more, please,” she pleaded.

  He flattened his chest on the bed, resting between her legs, and while continuing to massage her with his hands, he lowered his mouth to her as well, his tongue lapping at her entrance. He found her clit and began to flick and suck on it.

  “I will never get enough of you, Ella. Even the way you taste is addicting.” He felt her legs begin to tense and knew he was bringing her closer. He quickened the pace of his tongue and his hand, listening to her, waiting for the sweet moment when she lost herself. Her moans were coming faster and closer together. Her hands found his hair and urged his mouth closer to her sex, grinding into him. The sounds she was making and the way she was gripping him was almost too much for him to handle. He never thought he would be able to get off by making a woman come, but he was close. Suddenly she let out a loud cry, her back arched off the bed, and her hands left his hair only to slam into the headboard behind her. He felt her pulse around his fingers, and knew she had found her peak. He slowly continued licking and sucking until he knew she had come all the way down.

  “Holy hell, Porter,” she said in a sleepy, sated way.

  “You’re amazing, Ella.”

  “I take no credit for that,” she said smiling. He crawled up the bed and stopped when they were face to face. She placed her hands on his cheeks and pulled him down for a kiss. He pressed his chest into hers, and felt his tip at the entrance to her sex. She pushed her hips up towards him. “I want you inside me,” she pleaded. He grabbed a condom, opened it, put it on in record time, and then returned to her.