Never Close Enough

by Anie Michaels

  Chapter Nineteen

  Ella

  “Kyle?” Ella nearly shouted his name, she was so shocked to see him inside their apartment.

  “Ella, come in. Here, let me get your bags,” Kyle reached for her bags and took them into the living room, setting them against the far wall. Ella looked around the apartment as she slowly took a few steps in. Nothing had changed, not one single thing. His golfing magazines were still stacked on the coffee table. His shoes were still in the basket by the door. His keys were still hanging on the hook on the hall tree. She couldn’t even get words out of her mouth; she just kept opening it and closing it, like a fish. “Ella, I know you were expecting me to have moved out by now,” he said cautiously, treading lightly to gauge her reaction.

  “Yes, I was expecting to you be gone. Why aren’t you gone?” She looked at him and her confusion was slowly turning into anger.

  “We need to talk about this, face-to-face, sweetie. We have been together for four years; we can’t break up over the phone. I wanted to give you the week to cool down and get some perspective. I made us dinner. Babe, let’s just sit down and talk about everything.”

  It made Ella sick to hear him call her “babe”. Her eyes roamed around the living room and dining room. The table was set, complete with lit candles. She looked down the hallway towards the bedroom where she had walked in on him fucking someone else.

  “There’s nothing to talk about Kyle. I don’t understand where you got the impression that we could fix anything. There’s nothing left to fix.”

  “Don’t say that, El,” he came right up to her and put his hand on her face, the same place Porter had his hands just hours ago. “I love you and you cannot just walk away from this.”

  “I didn’t just walk away from you, Kyle!” She pushed him away from her. “You FUCKED someone else in our bed! I didn’t put the nail in this coffin. You did.” She was breathing heavy and seeing red. “You don’t have any right to be here! You agreed you would leave and I believed you! I can’t be here with you. Either you leave or I leave, Kyle.”

  “You’re being unreasonable. Come sit down and eat.”

  “No.”

  Kyle ran his fingers through his hair, obviously becoming frustrated with her.

  “Why are you resisting this? It’s just dinner.”

  “This isn’t just dinner,” she said, motioning towards his attempt at a romantic meal. “This is you trying to convince me to come back to you and that’s not ever going to happen. I’m not trying to be rude here, but I feel like you lied to me on purpose about moving out just so that you could get me alone with you. I’m not comfortable here with you.” She grabbed her purse off the coffee table.

  “What do you mean come back to me? It’s been a week, Ella. We’ve barely been apart. Why are you uncomfortable? I’m the same person I have been for the past four years.”

  “No, Kyle, you’re wrong. We’re farther apart now than we ever were and I am not the same person who left this apartment last week. I have to go.” She headed towards her bags near the door but felt him grip her arms and spin her around.

  “What happened at the beach, Ella? Why are you so quick to let our relationship slip through your fingers?” His face was close to hers and she could feel his panting on her skin. She thought she smelled alcohol on his breath.

  “Those are two separate questions. I’m willing to let you slip through my fingers because I don’t want the kind of relationship we had any longer. I don’t want to be in the dark anymore, hoping things will change one day. I don’t want to have to worry about my boyfriend sleeping with some Gumby-Slut. And what happened at the beach doesn’t concern you.” Her eyes darted down to his hand that still tightly gripped her. “Let go of my arm.”

  “Not until you tell me what’s really going on. Did you sleep with someone at the beach?” Ella tried to keep her face as stone-like as possible, not wanting to give him any satisfaction or ammunition. “Who did you fuck, Ella?”

  “Let go of me, Kyle. Please just let me go.” She started to feel the fear permeate through the anger that had been running through her blood. Kyle had never gotten physical with her before and this new side of him was as frightening as it was unexpected.

  “You did,” he chuckled. “You slept with somebody.” He laughed to himself, let go of her arm and started pacing up and down the length of the living room. Ella watched him pace for a few seconds and then realized that now was her time to get away from him. She bolted for the door and as soon as she grabbed the door handle and pulled it open, it slammed closed again. His hand came from behind her and he leaned over the back of her, breathing into her ear furious fast air that made her hair blow past her cheek. Her heart pounded so hard that she could hardly hear over it. She felt him grab her shoulders and spin her around, pinning her back up against the door. His grip on her was painful and her eyes were tightly closed, trying to block out what was happening.

  “You’re a dirty slut, Ella,” he said. Hot, sour breath invaded her nostrils and she tried to turn her face away from it, but his hand came up and gripped her jaw and squeezed. A cry escaped her mouth and fear now coursed through her blood. “Did you put this mouth on him, Ella? You probably did all kinds of things to him that I haven’t gotten in years.” He laughed again and his hand moved from her shoulder and slid down to cover her breast. She tried to let out a whimper, but his fingers crushed her jaw so hard it made it difficult to make any sounds.

  “That was most of the appeal of Tiffany. She was willing to do all kinds of things in the bedroom that you would have snubbed your nose at. When did you get so boring, Ella? And who did you find at the beach who even wants you?”

  She couldn’t help but cry and tears were coming down her face, running over his hand still clamped at her jaw. She could taste metal in her mouth and figured her teeth were cutting into her cheeks and she was probably bleeding. His hand gripped her breast and pain radiated across her chest. His hand suddenly reached up to the neck of her shirt and pulled down, ripping the front of her shirt down the middle. He looked down at her bared chest and she saw his distraction as her opportunity.

  She swiftly brought her knee up and met right with the target of his balls. He folded immediately, bending at the waist, grasping at his crotch. She wasted no time. She used all her anger and fear and took her other foot and kicked him right in the face. He crumpled to the ground with a thud, unconscious, and she watched him sprawl out on the ground. Blood was rushing out of his nose, and she could see it start to pool behind his head. She was frozen, afraid that if she moved he would come to and resume his assault. After a few seconds, a voice inside her head told her to run.

  She reached behind her and opened the door and quietly shut it, hoping not to disturb the man she thought she once loved lying unconscious on the other side. The closer she got to her car, the more she fell apart. She pulled her shirt closed around her, trying to simply get to her car without falling to the ground in a messy heap. She needed to get away. She made it to the car and got in, locking the doors immediately. She looked back towards the alcove which her apartment was in, and didn’t see any disturbance. She didn’t know how long she had until he came to, but she wanted to be long gone before then.

  She found her keys in her purse but it took her many tries to get the key in the ignition. She heard crazed cries and sobs coming from somewhere in the car. Deep in the back of her mind she realized it was her who was screaming, but she focused on getting the car started. Finally, she heard the car come to life and managed to navigate her way out of the apartment complex.

  She didn’t know where she was going, but auto pilot had her headed towards Poppy. Once she had pulled up in front of the dark store, she finally let herself break down. She cried out of fear and she cried from the pain. How had she spent four years with that monster? She hadn’t. That wasn’t the Kyle she had shared a life with. Something had happened to him in the last couple months. She cried for him too. She cried until she didn
’t have any tears left and then she was just gasping for regular breaths.

  With a new panic, she found her cell phone and dialed Porter’s number.

  “Hey, Babe, are you going to bed already?” He sounded happy and relaxed, and she began to cry all over again. “Ella? What’s wrong? Are you ok?” She tried to answer him, but only sobs came out again. “Damn it, Ella, what the hell is going on?”

  “Kyle,” she managed to half whisper, half cry.

  “Kyle? What about Kyle? Are you hurt? Did he hurt you?” He sounded panicked and angry and on the edge of hysterics.

  “He wouldn’t let me leave, Porter. I tried to leave and he wouldn’t let me go. I think I’m ok, but he hurt my jaw. He started to -” she tried to reign in her sobs.

  “Where are you now? Did you get away?”

  “Yes. I’m outside my store. I’m going to go inside and clean up. Will you please come here, Porter? I don’t want to be by myself.”

  “Baby, I’m already in my car. I’m on my way. Can you call your sister? Can you go to her house? I don’t want you to be alone until I get there.”

  “I don’t want to bring her into this. I will be fine here. There’s an alarm system and a security guard does laps every half hour. Please, just hurry.”

  She heard Porter let out a loud breath.

  “Ok. I’ll be there as soon as I can. Can you text me the address?”

  “Yes, as soon as we hang up.”

  “Are you sure you’ll be ok until I get there?”

  “Yes. Please, just hurry. The store is closed so you’ll just have to knock and I will let you in.”

  “Call me if anything else happens.”

  “Ok, I will.”

  “I love you. I will be there soon.”

  “I love you too” she said, trying to hold back more cries. “Please just hurry.” She texted him the address and then got out of her car and walked to the door of her boutique. She used her keys to let herself in and then made sure to set the alarm after she was inside. She mentally patted herself on the back for never giving Kyle a key or the passcode to the alarm system.

  The store was dark, but she went straight back to the employee bathroom to try to clean herself up. When she made it to the bathroom and turned on the harsh fluorescent lights she was startled by her reflection in the mirror.

  Her eyes were red, puffy, and swollen. It would be obvious to anyone that she had been crying. Her hair was a disaster, a halo of blonde craziness that she would have been concerned about if it weren’t for the other alarming things she saw in her reflection. There were purple marks in the shapes of fingers cradling her jaw. He had squeezed her jaw so hard he had left bruises. On the sides of her mouth there were traces of dried blood from the cuts she could feel on the inside of her cheeks. Her left breast was also tender, but she couldn’t bring herself to look to see if there were bruises there.

  Ella cringed when she thought of what Porter’s reaction would be when he saw her and the state she was in. He would lose his mind; she was sure. He would do anything to get his hands on Kyle, but she would have to talk him down. She didn’t need any more trouble with Kyle and the less contact they had with him, the better.

  She looked down at her torn shirt and a wave of nausea came over her. The thought of what might have happened if she hadn’t managed to get away in time had her running to the toilet where she battled dry heaves. Once her body finally calmed down and she was steady again, she stood up and splashed cold water on her face. She looked in the mirror one last time and was saddened by her reflection. She went into the office space in the back of the store and found one of the University of Oregon sweatshirts she kept in the back for cold inventory nights. She took off her torn shirt and threw it in the garbage. She pulled the sweatshirt over her head and left the hood up trying to cover as much of her body as possible.

  Suddenly, she felt exhausted. She laid down on the love seat in the back of the office, curled her knees up to her chest, and pulled her arms inside her sweatshirt. She managed to drift off to sleep quickly, hoping Porter would help her figure out her next move.

  She woke up to loud banging on the glass of the front door. She glanced at the clock. It had only been an hour and a half since she called Porter. He must have been hauling ass to get here that early. She righted her sweatshirt and headed to the door to let him in. As she came around a large rack of clothing, she saw the person outside of the store, but it wasn’t Porter. The man was wearing a dark hoodie and had the hood pulled down far enough that she couldn’t see his face. She came to an abrupt stop once she saw him, and her first instinct was to turn back around, but he saw her.

  “Ma’am? Do you have any spare change?”

  Ella exhaled loudly. Transients were part of the territory in Portland. There were people begging for money on most busy streets and as a Portlander you just learned how to deal with it. She took a step closer to the glass door and shouted to him.

  “I don’t have any money. I’m sorry.”

  “Do you have any food? I’m hungry.”

  “No, I’m sorry. There isn’t any food here.” The man started looking from side to side. He finally raised his head far enough up that she could see his face. Before she could get a good look at him though, he pulled something out of his pocket and pointed it at her. She heard glass shattering and something pushed her shoulder back with brutal force. She was stumbling backwards and then she felt herself falling. Then everything went black.

  Porter

  Porter drove as fast as his truck could carry him safely. He managed to make it more than halfway and he started to calm down a little. He was no longer shaking and his heart rate seemed to be back to normal. But his thoughts kept wandering to Ella and he knew the closer he got to her, the more worried he was going to get.

  He saw the sky scrapers of the Portland skyline come into view and he knew he was getting close. He was able to shave about twenty minutes off the commute just by driving way too fast. His GPS gave him direct instructions to her store, but he was still a little confused by all the one-way streets. It was obvious that his big construction truck wasn’t made to navigate the streets of downtown Portland.

  He came upon the last turn until he reached her store, but there were barricades up and police men redirecting traffic. He continued down the street while the GPS recalculated his directions and it led him to the same street, just a few blocks down. Again, when he came up to the street he was supposed to turn on, it was blocked off by police. He suddenly got a terrible feeling in his gut. He pulled off to the side of the road, not really caring if he was parked in a legitimate spot or not. He got out his phone and dialed Ella. It rang a few times and then went to her voicemail. He heard her sweet voice asking him to leave a message.

  “Hey, Babe, I’m trying to get to your store, but all the streets are blocked off. I don’t know what’s going on, but I can’t get to you and it’s making me nervous. Call me when you get this. Love you.”

  Just as he finished his message he saw an ambulance pull through the barricades, sirens blaring. Something in him snapped. He got out of his truck and jogged towards the police officer manning the barricade.

  “Sir, this street’s blocked off right now. No vehicle or pedestrian traffic allowed through.”

  “Listen, Officer, I’m supposed to pick up my girlfriend at her store just down this street. Can I just walk there? We’ll leave right away. I just want to go get her.”

  “Which store is she at?” The officer asked.

  “Poppy. It should be just up one block on the left.” The cop turned around to look down the block and when he turned around his face had gone from all business to regretful.

  “Listen, Sir. We had a robbery down this block about twenty minutes ago. A suspect broke into a place of business and the owner was present. She suffered some injuries and she is being taken to the hospital right now.”

  Porter heard the words he had said, but couldn’t understand what they meant. He shook
his head a few times and looked past the officer towards where most of the commotion was happening. There were at least seven police cars parked along the street, another ambulance and a fire truck. Police officers were scattered around the street.

  “What do you mean? Which store was robbed?”

  “I’m sorry to tell you it was Poppy.”

  Porter stumbled back a step.

  “No,” Porter demanded, hoping the officer was mistaken.

  “I’m terribly sorry. They took her to the hospital just a few minutes ago.”

  “What happened to her?!”

  “Sir, I’m really sorry but I cannot give you any specific information. I can tell you she was taken to OHSU up on the hill.” The officer pointed behind Porter and vaguely motioned towards a foothill on the other side of the sky scrapers.

  “Was she hurt? Are you sure it was Ella?”

  “Sir, there was only one person there, a female, about thirty years old. I can’t give you any more information.”

  Porter turned around and made his way back to the truck. Once he got in he picked up his phone and tried to plug the hospital name into his GPS. His fingers were shaky and he kept hitting the wrong key.

  “Shit!” he yelled as he threw his phone down on his seat. He breathed heavy and his hands shook. He raked his hands through his hair and forced himself to take deep breaths in through his nose and out of his mouth. With his eyes closed, he tried to picture Ella as he last saw her. She was up against her car with her arms wrapped around his neck, smiling up at him with more love in her eyes than he ever hoped he would see reflected back at him. He was so close to losing his mind but he needed to get to Ella. He would find time to process these feelings later. Right now he needed to find this elusive hospital “on the hill”.