Always (With Bonus Material) (Always & Forever Book 1)

by Kindle Alexander

  Avery sat directly in front of Paulie, holding his hand, steadily talking to him. "He's coming. I promise he's coming. Hang on, Paulie," Avery pleaded.

  "I'm here." Kane forced himself the rest of the way into the room, going immediately to the other side of the bed. Paulie's eyes cracked open, nothing more than slits as he stared up, causing Kane's heart to break. His strong, invincible Paulie, looked so old, so helpless. He grasped on to Paulie's hand. He looked small, frail, and in a tremendous amount of pain. Kane couldn't help the tears that slipped free and rolled down his cheeks.

  Paulie fought the oxygen mask, but couldn't work it off his face. Avery helped, lifting the mask from his mouth as tears formed in Paulie's eyes. "I love you like you were my own son."

  "I love you, too, Paulie. You can fight this," Kane said, tears rolling down his face as he leaned in closer, running his hand over Paulie's almost bald head.

  "Not this time," he whispered, sucking in a deep breath.

  "He wouldn't allow them to give him any pain medicine. He was afraid he wouldn't wake up when you got here," Avery informed him.

  "Paulie, take the medicine, please, don't do this to yourself." Kane brushed his thumb across Paulie's forehead.

  "Son, you made my life better. You gave me a reason when I had none. You and Avery take care of each other. Love each other. Always," Paulie said in a harsh whisper, gasping for shallow breaths as he spoke. The few sentences seemed to exhaust him. The medical equipment connected to him went wild as Paulie fell unconscious. Those were the last words he ever spoke. Paulie never woke again.

  Kane flew Paulie back Alabama to be buried next to his wife and son. Avery canceled his entire schedule and never left his side. Kane didn't argue, needing Avery to lean on. Paulie was an old man, and Kane thought he'd mentally prepared for this day, but not a day had gone by over the last thirty years that he hadn't talked to Paulie in some way.

  After the burial, Avery took Autumn and Robert to pick out flowers for the headstone while he stayed tucked away inside their hotel suite. Kane cried like he had never cried before. He missed Paulie more than he ever thought possible.

  Paulie left a formal Last Will and Testament and required an official reading attended by only Kane and Avery. He left everything to Kane—his shares of the restaurant and all his most cherished belongings, which pretty much consisted of the memories of his wife and son.

  After a few days, Kane pushed Avery back out on the campaign trail. His husband resisted, but Kane needed the time. He sent Autumn and Robert back to Washington with Kennedy, and he flew to Minnesota. Kane had decisions to make. La Bella Luna had been his heart and soul for many, many years. Avery changed all that. The restaurant was no longer his life. He'd kept it going for Paulie. Years ago, Kane had made the decision to follow Avery no matter what course he chose. There was no room for the day to day operations of such a busy restaurant. If he tried to hang on and manage La Bella Luna, his time with Avery, Autumn, and Robert would be sacrificed and Kane couldn't stand for that. Avery and his children were his life now. He knew what he needed to do.

  He drove from the airport straight to the restaurant, choosing to enter from the front, not the back. No one would be around if he came in this way. So much of the restaurant had changed. They had remodeled more than once over the last fourteen years. As he looked around, he realized he wasn't even sure he had been in the decisionmaking process of this last round of updates. He couldn't remember ever seeing these color schemes before.

  In the back, a new young man worked the bar. Kane supposed he was the new hire who took Rodney's position. Kane didn't know him, and the bartender glanced his way, only to look away, and then straight back at him.

  "Can I help you? The restaurant's closed," the young man said, coming to the end of the bar.

  "Kane Adams," Kane said, sticking out his hand for a quick shake. He barely slowed as he made his way toward his old office.

  "I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know," the bartender said, stumbling all over himself. "I'm real sorry about Paulie."

  "Thank you," Kane tossed over his shoulder as he entered the kitchen. The mood was somber. Paulie's head chef was hard at work, prepping for the day. No one paid any attention to him entering, and he didn't comment. Instead, he walked straight back to the office. The office it seemed was the only room in the restaurant that hadn't changed. Without doing much more than going on instinct, Kane booted up the desktop computer and connected the dialup to send two short emails. The first was to Avery.

  Avery, you have to know by now that I didn't return home with the children. I'm in Minnesota. I've decided to sell the restaurant. It's not fair to you, the kids, or any of the staff if I try to keep it. I thought I'd have your office here handle the paperwork. I wasn't going around you, I just didn't want you to worry about anything more than what you’re dealing with right now.

  I love you always, K

  Kane read and reread the message. Short, sweet, and to the point. He hit send, making sure everything stayed connected and the email actually left the outbox. Next was Rodney. As he opened a new message and began to type, there was a knock at the door.

  "I heard you were here, boss," Rodney said, sticking his head in the office. "It's good to see you back, man."

  "Come in. I was just sending you an email," Kane said, motioning for Rodney to take a seat.

  "You get Paulie all squared away?" Rodney asked softly, his eyes showed the pain of their loss. Rodney carried that same somber mood as everyone else.

  "I think so. Look, I'm here to let you know I'm selling La Bella Luna," Kane began, and the shock showed on Rodney's face. He started to speak, but Kane stopped him, raising a hand. "And I want you to buy it."

  "Kane, man, I can't afford this place. And I don't have the credit to get this kind of money," Rodney said. He was up and on his feet, panic now replaced the shock.

  "Trust me, you can afford it. And I'll carry the note. Avery's firm can draw up the papers," Kane said, realizing for the first time in a long time his super-calm facade was back in place. "I want you to have the place. It's the only way I can let it go."

  That stopped Rodney in his tracks. His face again went through a variety of changes, until uncertainty settled in. "Can I handle it?"

  "I think you can. You already do most of the work now. I can stay on as your consultant. Talk you through anything you need help with.

  I'll also handle the paperwork transfer and be your lender. Paulie would want you to have it," Kane added, nodding his head now.

  "Paulie kept this place going just in case you ever wanted back in," Rodney said, dropping down in his seat with a thump, the somber mood back in place.

  "I know. He was always watching out for me since the first day I met him," Kane said, he fought the instant tears that threatened to blur his vision.

  "He loved you, Kane. Like you were his son," Rodney said, holding his gaze.

  "I was his son, and I think he'd approve of this decision. You need to just say yes. Let me clean out this office, and get the paperwork started." They were silent for several long minutes staring at one another. Kane nodded, knowing this was the right decision, while Rodney sat there looking unsure.

  "I'm taking your silence as a yes," Kane said, feeling weirdly relieved when Rodney didn't immediately object. Rodney would treat La Bella Luna with the same care that he and Paulie had. "I'm heading over to the firm now. We'll draw up the paperwork. Once you sign, I'll start the transfer. The only thing I ask is that for the time being, we keep this all on the down low. Everything we do is supposed to be approved through the campaign. It's not going to change what happens, I just want Avery brought up to speed."

  "I don't know, Kane. Do you think I can handle it?" Rodney rose from his seat when Kane did.

  "I have the utmost faith in you, Rodney. I'm moving forward and heading over to Avery's office to get things outlined. I'll be back to get Paulie's things, and we can talk more then." Kane rounded the corner, giving Rodney a giant
bear hug. This was abrupt, possibly not thought completely through, but he wasn't taking no for an answer. He was ripping the Band-Aid off, getting things done. As he let Rodney go, the office phone began to ring.

  The restaurant telephone line rang until voice mail picked up. Avery aggressively disconnected the call only to hit redial, letting the phone ring again. He must have read it wrong. Kane surely had not just made such a monumental decision as selling his beloved restaurant without talking to him first. And what the hell was up with an email? He didn't warrant high enough on the food chain to even get a phone call? Hell, he'd just spent four full days with the man, why hadn't Kane mentioned any of this to him then?

  "Dammit!" Avery hissed, disconnecting the call again, only to hit redial for the second time. This email had to come from the computer at La Bella Luna. There wasn't enough time for Kane to have taken Autumn and Robert home and return to Minnesota. Who was with his children?

  "La Bella Luna," Kane answered on the fourth ring.

  "I honestly don't even know where to start," Avery said as all the frustrating thoughts jammed his mind at one time. "Yes, I do. We'll start at the end and work our way back. You can't sell La Bella Luna, Kane. We'll make it work."

  "Rodney, will you give me a minute?" he heard Kane say on the other end of the line.

  "Sure thing, boss. Oh, sorry," Rodney said in the background. What the hell did that mean?

  "Avery, I knew if I told you, you would fight me on this," Kane started explaining.

  "Why are you trying to sell?" Avery asked, even though he was really more stuck on why Kane hadn't discussed any of this with him. He talked everything over with Kane.

  "For the reasons I mentioned in the message, Avery," Kane said, and this time he sounded sad.

  "Babe, that's your place. It's our place…" Avery began, but Kane cut him off.

  "Not anymore, and it hasn't been for many years. We're in Washington now. That's our life. I can't run the restaurant from there," Kane stated.

  "Yes, you can. And you can go home more. The kids are getting older. We can hire a nanny, they can live without you for a few days a week," Avery countered.

  "Honey, you know you're gonna win. It's inevitable. If I don't do this now, I'll have to eventually. It's better to tie up all these loose ends while I can still be in control of them. I thought I'd have your office draw up the papers. I've already talked to Rodney about buying the place. Besides, I don't want to be here during the little bit of free time you have. It's too rare to miss," Kane reasoned. Avery could hear the fatigue, and his heart hurt for Kane. He'd had too much pain in his life already.

  "Are you lonely?" Why had he asked that? Or, better question, why hadn't he considered that before right this minute? Kane always stayed so busy with Autumn and Robert. But they were new to town, no real friends yet, and Kane hadn't found a church like the one they had at home. Damn, why hadn't he thought about this before?

  "Sometimes, but it's okay. I knew what I was agreeing to when we moved. Besides, selling the restaurant has nothing to do with that." Kane's voice dropped an octave, and Avery thought he might have heard a hint of underlying sadness in his tone.

  "I don't want you to be lonely, Kane." Avery gripped the phone tighter, the restaurant completely forgotten. He wished he could be there with Kane and have this conversation face to face.

  "I know you don't, but it's the nature of the beast," Kane stated matter-of-factly.

  "I can be home more."

  "No, you can't," Kane shot instantly back, and then there was silence.

  "I don't want you to be lonely, Kane. I never wanted you to be lonely. You three can move back to Stillwater. I'll make that my base," Avery said, his mind racing, trying to find the answer to this problem.

  "No, we can't move back to Minnesota. The kids are in a new school, they've started new lives, and besides, we made these decisions together. I know my place. It's there, waiting for you to get home," Kane said.

  "Baby…I should've given this decision more thought. I don't like the hurt in your voice at all." How had this conversation turned so quickly into a realm they had never discussed? Avery went from being irritated to guilt-ridden in a matter of a couple of minutes. How had that happened?

  "Avery, listen to me. I'm going to be fine. I just wanted you to know before I have the paperwork drawn up. You have a little over one month before the election. You focus on that, I'll take care of this," Kane specified, his voice firm, resolute, definitely in control.

  "I feel like I need to be with you right now, honey," Avery tried again. He couldn't let this go.

  "But you don't. I've got this," Kane affirmed.

  Avery went silent, and he knew that silence spoke volumes. He so didn't like the answers Kane gave him. He scrubbed a hand over his face, closed his eyes, and let the thought of Kane not needing him settle across his heart. That was what all this was about. It wasn't the sale of the restaurant or the alone time for either of them. Once Avery had decided to run for office, he'd inadvertently distanced himself from the most important person in his life. Dammit, why was he just now realizing this? Kane was everything to him. His always. What had he been thinking? Did he expect that Kane would just sit and wait for him? Yeah, actually that was exactly what he'd thought.

  "Avery, you're needed in Ballroom A. They're almost ready for you," Janice said, poking her head inside the door.

  "Give me minute, Janice," Avery began, but Kane cut him off.

  "Go, don't make those people wait. I'll see you in Ohio next week. Autumn and Robert are coming with me. I love you. This was not a conversation I wanted to have right now. I'm hanging up," Kane warned.

  "I love you. Always. You know that, right?" Avery whispered quietly into the receiver.

  "I do, but I like the reminder. And I feel the same. My love for you has never been in question. Now go kick butt in your speech," Kane said and hung up without saying goodbye. Avery was slower, lowering the phone to its cradle before again scrubbing his hand over his face for the second time in less than two minutes.

  "You're being introduced," Janice stuck her head back inside his hotel room's makeshift office. After taking a good look at his face, she walked inside, shutting the door behind her. "Are you all right?"

  "No, not at all." He stood, his mind still reeling from his and Kane's conversation. He straightened his suit as he stepped past her, opened the door, and headed toward the podium in Ballroom A. She was right on his heels, but he ignored her. He had to hide this heavy heart, put on a confident face, and make these people believe in him. He'd worked too hard to keep his sexuality out of the public eye and make politics the main focus of his campaign, but now his heart was flying across the country, making life-altering decisions without him. All of the sudden, he wasn't certain the overall price was worth the outcome. Squaring his shoulders, he plastered the smile on his face and took center stage. As he waved to the clapping hands, his heart lurched. He'd have to do better by Kane. In no way did he ever want a repeat of today.

  Chapter 27

  January, 1993 Washington DC

  "I want you there with me, Kane. I don't care what anyone else thinks is best. It's tradition, and you need to be there. I can't believe we are still even having this conversation," Avery proclaimed, early on inauguration day morning. And definitely much too early for the tension that filled the room, if you asked Kane. Avery exited his closet, fully dressed, shrugging his suit jacket on over his shoulders, with an irritated look on his face. And all his ire seemed to be focused directly on Kane, even at four o'clock in the morning.

  "Babe, why are you doing this? It's tradition for legally married couples to appear together during the inaugural events. I'm not legally…" Kane lowered his voice, mumbling the last part, dressing at a much slower pace than Avery.

  "Kane, dammit! I want you there. You're every bit as responsible for this as I am. Look, if you aren't there, it looks like we're hiding. I don't want that to even be a possibility for the future."
Avery followed Kane inside his closet. A knock on their bedroom door interrupted them. Thank God, because Kane was past tired of this argument. Public opinion had reservations about Kane being there beside Avery today, so did Kane. Why couldn't Avery see that?

  Not waiting for them to let her in, Autumn flung the door open, clearly upset and full of award-winning drama and total over-the-top theatrics that only an almost teenage girl could pull off. "Daddy, Nonnie says I have to wear the pea coat today, but I don't want to! It makes me look like a little girl. I want to wear my long coat. It still matches, see," Autumn argued.

  "Baby, please just wear what they asked you to," Kane started, but Autumn threw in the tears, drawing Avery's attention off Kane and directly to her.

  "I'm tired of this. What's wrong with you people? If we would have listened to public opinion, we would never be moving into the vice presidency to begin with! Autumn, wear the coat you want to wear. Kane, you're beside me all day. I'll hold the whole ceremony up if you continue to buck me on this," Avery asserted, and just as dramatically as Autumn had entered, Avery fled the room, slamming doors and pounding across the hardwood floors as he headed away to meet security for his ride to the White House.

  "What's wrong with Dad?" Robert asked from the bedroom doorway.

  "Daddy got him mad," Autumn said, checking her reflection in the dresser mirror. She was beautiful, long flowing blonde hair to match her long, lean frame, and seemingly completely unfazed by Avery's dramatic display of anger.

  "I think you contributed your fair share, young lady. Now, come here, both of you. Let me take a good look at you," Kane said, pulling his suit coat on. Both Robert and Autumn came to stand in front of Kane. His heart swelled with pride. His children. Both so similar, there was no question they were twins. Robert was already five-ten, and Autumn was an inch or so shorter than him. Avery had the clothes they wore today made for them, and they fit perfectly. Robert's suit made him look a few years older, where Autumn went with the styles of the season. Her shoulder pads were thick and pronounced. He was so in love with their children.