At This Moment (Of Love and Madness #1)

by Karen Cimms

  “I’m sorry. If you really wanna take someone who deserves to be there, it would be Joey.”

  “I’m not taking Joey, but if by some miracle I win, I’ll make sure to thank him.”

  “Did you write your speech?”

  “No. Because I’m not gonna win. Besides, that would jinx me.”

  “You’re gonna win.”

  “Did you listen to the other albums?”

  “No. I just think you should win.”

  “From your lips to God’s ears.”

  When he went to kiss Rhiannon good-bye, Kate ducked into the bathroom. She was breathing through another contraction when she heard a loud knock on the front door.

  “Coming,” Billy called. He tapped on the bathroom door. “You okay?”

  She grit her teeth. “Be right there.” If he didn’t leave soon, she might give birth on the bathroom floor.

  “You haven’t left yet?” Joey’s voice could be heard over jet engines. There was a second knock as she shuffled from the bathroom.

  “That must be the car.” Billy rushed toward her while Joey went to tell the driver Billy would be down shortly.

  Lifting her chin in his hand, he searched her eyes. “Is there something you’re not telling me?”

  She felt a spurt of panic, but before she could tell another lie, Joey appeared behind him.

  “Yes. I realized I’m not gay after all. I was able to convince Kate to run away with me. This whole Grammy nomination was just our way of getting you out of the house so she could pack. Oh yeah, and the baby’s mine.” He let out an exasperated sigh. “Good grief! Your limo’s waiting. In this neighborhood, you’ll be lucky if it’s not up on blocks already.”

  Billy glared at him. “That’s not even funny.”

  “It wasn’t meant to be.” Joey took Rhiannon from him.

  “Promise me as soon as you win, you’ll call.” Kate tugged on his lapels. “Promise!”

  “I promise. I’ll call you as soon as it’s over.”

  “No. Right after you win.”

  “What if I don’t win?”

  “Not possible. But call me no matter what. As soon as your category’s over. I’ll feel better if you call. Please?” She was starting to sound desperate.

  “I promise. I’ll call you as—”

  She pulled his mouth to hers and kissed him, hard, then softly, then hard again. When she stood back, he looked at her with a funny smile. “What was that about?”

  “Everything. Everything and nothing. I want you to know how much I love you, and I want you to know how disappointed I am that I’m not going.”

  “That wasn’t the kind of kiss someone with a headache gives.”

  “I do. I love you, and I believe in you.”

  He kissed her forehead. “I love you, too.”

  “Oh my God!” Joey cried. “Go already!”

  As he slipped into his overcoat, Billy turned to Joey. “I feel better knowing you’re here.”

  “That’s too bad, then,” Joey answered.

  “Enough!” She glared at Joey as she walked Billy to the door. “Don’t forget: Call me as soon as your category’s over, win or lose.”

  When she returned to the living room, she gave Joey a weak smile.

  “Pick Rhiannon up and let her wave until he drives away, okay? I’ll be right back. I have a surprise for you.”

  “Oh, goody. Uncle Joey loves surprises!” He twirled his godchild across the room and over to the window. “Oh my God,” he called out. “She’s so cute. She’s throwing kisses.”

  “Is he gone yet?” Kate called from the bedroom.

  “They just pulled away.” He set Rhiannon down and looked up to see Kate standing at the other end of the living room with her coat and her suitcase.

  “Surprise!” she cried through clenched teeth.

  His jaw dropped. “Oh shit—you are running away with me!”

  “Even better: I’m in labor. Tag! You’re it!”

  Joey alternated between talking to himself and snapping at Kate as he loaded her bag into the back of his BMW the moment the babysitter arrived.

  “I can’t believe you think you can pull this off, missy.” He grumbled through clenched teeth as he made a U-turn on Avenue C.

  “Look,” she explained as patiently as she could under the circumstances. “If I’d told him, he wouldn’t have gone. I’d feel guilty he missed it. I couldn’t do that to him.”

  “Don’t you think he’s gonna be pissed that you didn’t tell him?” He took his eyes off the road long enough to glare at her. “Although not as pissed as I am.”

  “Hopefully he’ll be back before the baby comes. I was in labor with Rhiannon for—” She gripped the armrest.

  “Oh God,” Joey cried, picking up speed.

  “It’s okay,” she said through gritted teeth.

  “The hell it is!”

  Chapter Forty-Six

  Billy slipped into his seat. Radio City Music Hall. At least he was on the aisle. Six four for two and a half hours in a cramped seat with no leg room was a recipe for an uncomfortable evening. He stuck a finger under his collar. He wasn’t sure what he was feeling. Excitement? Nerves? It was unreal. Like he’d been transported from his couch through the TV screen and dropped into the audience. This was one weird fucking acid trip.

  Bonnie Raitt strolled past in a jacket that shimmered like Christmas lights. The whole damn theater sparkled as if someone had peeled the roof back far enough to let thousands of stars sift over their human counterparts.

  Then again, not everyone was decked out. Kirk Hammett and Lars Ulrich stood a few rows in front of him, neither even wearing a tie. He tugged at his collar again. Fucking Joey, convincing Katie he needed to wear a tuxedo.

  Katie. He checked his watch. If he hurried, he should be able to find a payphone and check on her before the show started.

  “This seat taken?” A bare leg pressed against his thigh.

  “Oh, hey. Not really.” He stood to step into the aisle, but Christa didn’t wait, stepping past him and pushing her body against his in a tight squeeze, pinning him in place. His eyes dropped to her breasts, which threatened to spill from the top of her strapless black gown.

  “Sorry,” she said with a wry smile as she claimed Kate’s empty seat. “I forgot how much space you take up.”

  “Where’s Barry?”

  “He’s not coming.” She dropped her head. “I’m not sure it’s going to work out.” She dabbed at the corner of her eye, although he noticed she was still wearing the golf ball she called an engagement ring. “We’re from two different worlds. He’s Wall Street and I’m Madison Square Garden. I’m getting home when he’s getting up.” She rested a hand on his arm. “I’m sure you of all people know what I’m talking about.”

  He was about to say he didn’t when she asked about Kate.

  “She’s not feeling well. Thinks she might have a touch of food poisoning.”

  “Oh, that’s too bad. It must have come on suddenly.”

  “More or less.”

  “Joey will be so disappointed. He was looking forward to their ‘girl time.’” She crooked two fingers on each hand, forming quotes.

  “What?”

  “You know. Joey and Kate.” She laughed. “Girl time. Trust me. I love girl time with Joey just as much.” Christa had not only become one of Joey’s clients, the two of them shared a love of all things bitchy.

  He shook his head. “No, she’s sick. Joey went over to stay with her.”

  She looked surprised. “Oh. I must’ve misunderstood. When I spoke to him I got the impression Kate just didn’t feel like coming. I’m sure he said something about hanging out, watching TV, and eating popcorn. Although I imagine they’ll also be trashing what everyone’s wearing.” She lowered her voice. “Speaking of which, did you get a look at—”

  He glanced at his watch, his jaw tightening. “I’ll be right back.”

  She grabbed his wrist as he stood.

  “Where
are you going?”

  “I need to make phone call.”

  “You can’t. They’re about to start.”

  He hadn’t noticed the house lights blinking. Pissed, he dropped back into his seat. Kate had been bitching for two weeks about how fat she looked in that dress, even though the damn thing had been made for her. It was perfect, and frankly, he’d been getting sick of telling her how good she looked. And now she pulls this bullshit and lies about not feeling well just so she can stay home? How could she do this to him? She knew how much he wanted her here, how much he needed her tonight.

  The house lights went out. The orchestra started to play. Billy grit his teeth.

  Christa leaned over, her head practically on his shoulder.

  “I hope you’re going to let me show you off later,” she whispered. “There’ll be a lot of people at that party I’d like you to meet, people who are dying to meet you.”

  He looked down at her, still scowling.

  “Absolutely. Wouldn’t think of missing it.”

  She ran her hand along his arm and gave him a squeeze.

  “Perfect.”

  Joey waltzed in like a runway model in a pair of green scrubs.

  “They’re a little blah,” he declared, “but they match my eyes.”

  “Your eyes are gray,” Kate said, leaning into another contraction.

  “Not tonight. I’m wearing green contacts. See?” He leaned closer.

  The best she could do was shake her head and pant. Not getting the response he was hoping for, he pulled up a chair and gave Kate his hand.

  “This sucks. We should be sitting on your ugly couch eating crap and drinking cheap wine.” The harder she gripped, the louder he spoke. “Better yet! We should be dressed to the nines and sitting in the audience at Radio City Music Hall!”

  A nurse rushed in. “Who’s yelling?”

  “He is,” Kate gasped, collapsing against her pillow. “I thought it was supposed to be easier the second time.”

  “You want something for pain?”

  “No,” Joey replied stoically. “I’ll be okay. Although I think she broke my hand.”

  Kate looked at the nurse and tried to smile. “I just need to get my bearings.”

  “When you get them, send some my way,” Joey said, flexing his fingers.

  The nurse gave her a wink. “I’ll be back soon.” She closed the door as she left, likely in deference to the volume of Joey’s voice.

  The next contraction coincided with the start of the Grammys broadcast.

  “Are you squeezing from pain or excitement?” Joey asked as her fingers tightened around his.

  “Both. I can’t believe I’m missing this.”

  “You’re not. You’ve got the best seat in the house. If you were there, you’d be sitting so far back you wouldn’t be able to see a thing.”

  When the contraction ended, she closed her eyes. She was already exhausted. She made Joey promise to wake her if he heard Billy’s name, although she was fooling herself if she thought she’d actually fall asleep anytime soon. Before he could answer, she grabbed his hand.

  “I promise!” he cried as she squeezed.

  She shook her head and grunted.

  “Already? Honey, if you don’t slow down you’re gonna miss it, and he’s never gonna get here in time. I love you, but I don’t think I can do this.”

  She concentrated on her breathing, gluing her eyes to a print on the wall across from her of an idyllic beach. As the contraction wound down, another nurse appeared. She checked the printout from the last few contractions, then introduced herself.

  “I’m Delia,” she said with a warm smile. “I’ll be your nurse tonight. How’s Daddy doing?” She beamed at Joey.

  He was staring at the TV screen. “Clueless. As usual.”

  Kate was grunting into another contraction, so he broke his focus to explain. He pointed at the television. “Daddy is there. At the Grammys.”

  Delia listened as Joey explained who Billy was and why he was there, detailing the role he’d played in Billy’s success. When she asked if they knew when his category would be presented, he shook his head.

  “No, but it better be soon. At the rate she’s going, he may not get here in time. More importantly, I faint at the sight of blood. My people didn’t sign up for this.”

  “I’m surprised you were able to get him to go,” Delia said. “Although it is a pretty big deal.”

  Kate tried to roll to her side. Her back was killing her. “He doesn’t know.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Joey gave her a helpful heave. “She didn’t tell him. She started having contractions but didn’t want him to miss it, so she didn’t tell him.”

  “I’m not due for two weeks,” she said with a groan.

  “How will he know you’re here?”

  “Oh, it’s a brilliant plan. He’s supposed to call home when he’s done, and the babysitter will tell him.” Joey’s voice was loaded with sarcasm.

  Delia looked at the monitor again. “Your contractions are very close. I’m going to give you some oxygen, which should help you and the baby.” She slipped a nasal cannula into Kate’s nostrils. “I’ll be back in a bit,” she promised.

  Two more contractions came rolling in, one after the other. Delia returned with a doctor, who followed the printout from the monitor until the last contraction was over. As he introduced himself, Delia began pulling the curtain closed around them.

  “Hi Kate, I’m Dr. Walters. I’m the resident on duty. How are we doing?”

  She tried to resettle herself against the pillows. “Not good. I don’t remember it being so hard last time.”

  “Your contractions are lasting a long time, and we’re not getting a good enough read on the baby from the external monitor. I’m going to insert an internal fetal scalp electrode. It’ll let us know exactly how the baby’s doing. Okay?”

  She nodded and closed her eyes, desperate to rest between contractions. It seemed no sooner had one finished than another began.

  After Dr. Walters inserted the electrode, she heard him tell the nurse that she was still only dilated two centimeters. Oh God! That wasn’t possible. She’d been at this for hours already. That meant the baby wasn’t coming soon. Given the amount of pain and her level of exhaustion, she didn’t know how she would manage.

  “Dr. Landry’s on her way,” Dr. Walters told her before he left.

  At this moment, she couldn’t care less. It was Billy she wanted. This had been a huge mistake. Another contraction gripped her. When she lost the ability to focus, Delia coached her through it, but it wasn’t the same.

  “Is something wrong?” she asked as she sank into the pillows.

  Delia patted her leg. “Don’t worry. Dr. Landry will be here soon.”

  And that’s when she heard the presenter announce the category for Best Instrumental Arrangement. In spite of the fear and exhaustion, she tried to rally. “Turn it up,” she begged.

  Joey began punching buttons. The bed started to move. The hum drowning out the television.

  “Turn it up!” she repeated.

  “Stop yelling at me!”

  He punched another button. The TV audio muted.

  “Joey!”

  Another nurse rushed into the room. “What’s wrong?”

  Kate pointed at the set. The presenter was reading Billy’s name. The camera flashed to him in the audience. Through sheer willpower she sat bolt upright, grabbed Joey’s arm, and squeezed harder than she had during any of her contractions.

  “Was that Christa sitting with him?”

  “Maybe.” He tried to pull away.

  “Why?”

  He spoke so fast it sounded like one long word. “She was going anyway. When she heard you couldn’t go, she said she’d sit with him so he wouldn’t be alone.” He tugged at his arm, to no avail. “You wouldn’t want him sitting there with an empty seat, would you?”

  “Yes, I would. Especially if she’s the altern
ative.”

  “Calm down, Mrs. Donaldson,” the nurse said.

  “Yeah, calm down, Mrs. Donaldson,” Joey repeated. With another yank, he was free.

  “ . . . Billy McDonald for Rockin’ My Baby!”

  She tried to speak, but it felt as if her insides were being ripped to shreds.

  “Oh my God! He won!” Joey clawed for her hand.

  Kate panted through the contraction and tried to focus on Billy as he made his way to the podium.

  “Oh my goodness,” exclaimed the new nurse. “That is one fine-looking man you have there.”

  Kate tried to smile but was pretty sure all she’d done was bare her teeth.

  “Kate?” Dr. Walters appeared beside the bed. “Things aren’t progressing.”

  “Not . . . now! Joey . . . turn it . . .up,” she said between pants.

  Joey didn’t move. He was watching the doctor.

  “One more contraction,” Dr. Walters told Delia, “but tell them to get the OR ready.”

  “What’s wrong?” Joey asked.

  Dr. Walters raised his voice to address Kate. “Your contractions are coming too fast, and they’re lasting too long. The baby isn’t handling it well. You’re not dilating either, so for all the work your body’s doing, those contractions aren’t proving effective. We’re going to see how it goes with the next contraction, and if things don’t improve, we’re going to have to do a C-section.”

  She was too exhausted to be frightened. She looked up at the doctor, but what she saw was Billy just over his shoulder. He was with her, but he wasn’t. He didn’t know. If something happened, he’d never forgive her.

  “Wait one minute,” she begged. She angled her head toward Joey. “I can’t hear.”

  The doctor stood back, but it was too late. Billy raised the little gold gramophone in the air. As the music came up, the camera cut to host Garry Shandling.

  A nurse entered and whispered to Dr. Walters.

  “Dr. Landry’s here,” he said. “She’s going to meet us in the OR. What we need to do now is get that baby out, okay?” He gave her a reassuring pat and turned to Joey. “Mr. Donaldson? The nurse will show you where you can get ready.”