An Honorable Man

by Donna Fasano

  She was quiet for several seconds. Challenge set her jaw. “Yet you’re still determined not to commit yourself to a relationship.”

  Confusion reigned in his chaotic thoughts. He wanted to say yes. He wanted to say no. Hell, he didn’t know how to respond.

  Boisterous shouts and squeals had both their heads turning to see Grayson’s front door open, teens and younger children pouring out onto the lawn.

  Softly Julie said to Mat, “I can live with being just your friend. But I won’t allow you to treat me with disrespect.”

  That mallet of guilt slammed into him again, this time straight to the gut.

  “I—”

  “Dad!”

  Grace raced to her father and jumped into his arms, making it impossible for Mat to assure Julie that playing games was the last thing he’d meant to do… that the kiss they shared was as much a surprise to him as it was to her… that he’d been spellbound by—

  “Hey, Julie,” Brian called out to his sister, “can Richard come have ice cream with us?”

  The smile she offered her brother was wide, but Mat could see the shadows still clouding her lovely eyes. Shame filled him to know that he’d put them there.

  “Sure,” she told Brian. “Your friend is more than welcome to come with us.”

  The boys jogged across the grass to join her.

  Julie said, “We should probably go so we can get to the shop before it closes.” She glanced at Grace, evidently working to keep her tone cheerful. “I’ll see you in school tomorrow.”

  Grace grinned. “I can’t wait.” Then the child turned to her daddy. “Let’s go home, Dad. You promised to help me put together your old racetrack, remember?”

  “Of course, I remember. How could I forget a thing like that?”

  Just as Julie had succeeded in doing, Mat put on a mask of lightheartedness, even though his heart was anything but light. Taking Grace’s hand, he headed toward the car, but not before turning to watch Julie walk away from him without a backward glance.

  Chapter Nine

  The narrow streets of Misty Glen Reservation were lined with booths, tables, even tents, featuring all manner of Native American arts and crafts. Moccasins, belts, vests, dresses, some plain, some adorned with shells or colorful beads, were on display. Authentic Kolheek pottery of all shapes and sizes was for sale, decorated with geometric designs in mellow earth tones. Oil and acrylic paintings of day-to-day Indian life, now and in the past, hung beside muted watercolors. The exquisite quilts Julie saw must have taken hours and hours to create. One stall offered hand carved wooden figures with facial features so realistic she actually expected the tiny statues to start talking as she passed by.

  The steady stream of cars along the streets, their drivers searching for places to park, and the crowds milling about the tables and tents of the various artisans was a clear sign that people from all over New England were visiting the Fall Craft Festival.

  “What is that delicious smell?”

  Julie laughed as her brother’s plaintive question was followed up with an audible rumble from his evidently empty stomach. She reached into her purse and rummaged around for some money. “Go find out what it is,” she told him, giving him the bills. “And bring me back something to eat when you come. I won’t go far.”

  He grinned his thanks. “Don’t worry, I’ll find you.” Then he disappeared into the crowd of people on his search for their lunch.

  Turning to admire the hand-tooled leather purses, Julie bumped into Tori Landing.

  “Julie! How are you?”

  Tori owned a bed-and-breakfast she called Freedom Trail. Julie’s heart warmed as she hugged her friend tightly.

  “I haven’t seen you since school started, have I?” Julie asked. “I should have stopped by the inn for a visit. What kind of a friend am I? And after all you’ve done for me. I should be ashamed.”

  “Oh, now—” Tori shushed her with a wave of her hand “—you’ve been busy with a new job and a new home. Not to mention Brian. How are things going for you two?”

  “Wonderfully!” Julie had Tori to thank for the new life she and Brian were enjoying. Tori was in her mid-twenties, Julie guessed. She was a thin, willowy beauty, but without the young woman’s quiet yet formidable inner strength, Julie didn’t think she’d have survived those awful weeks of fighting her stepfather for legal custody of her brother.

  The two women stood on the sidewalk sharing some of what had been going on in their lives, and Julie was careful not to mention Mat. The man was stubborn as a pack mule, yet there wasn’t a thing she could do about it. The passionate kiss he’d planted on her lips just last weekend had made her knees go weak. That same kiss had also revealed, unequivocally, his true feelings for her. But Julie refused to fight a losing battle. And sadly she’d been forced to conclude, once again, that Mat’s determination had truly won the war he was having with his emotions.

  “Tori, look what I found.”

  The stranger who approached the two of them was a woman of about the same age as Tori, Julie surmised. Her honey-brown hair glistened in the fall sunshine, and although her delicate features were upturned in a small smile, there was an unmistakable sadness about her. Julie’s gaze lowered to the small swell of the young woman’s belly, and her curiosity was sparked regarding what might cause such melancholy at what should be a time of great joy for any woman.

  Tori examined the colorfully beaded bracelet the woman held up for inspection.

  “It’s beautiful, Lyssa,” Tori told her. “I’m glad you’re allowing yourself to have some fun. You deserve it.”

  Tori looked at Julie. “Julie, I’d like you to meet Lyssa Palmer. She’s a nurse.” Tori’s voice lowered conspiratorially as she said, “Lyssa’s staying with me at the moment.”

  Lyssa’s head automatically swiveled, almost as if she was searching the crowd for an intruder. Something akin to fear shadowed the woman’s chestnut-hued eyes and Julie’s heart went out to her.

  “It’s okay,” Tori said, calming Lyssa with a pat on her forearm. “Julie stayed with me, too, for a bit.”

  Lyssa’s gaze lit on Julie’s face, and Julie smiled reassuringly. Nothing brought people together like trouble shared.

  “You can trust Tori,” Julie told Lyssa. “She’ll help you just as she helped me. I’ve got a lovely home now. And a great job.”

  Tori grinned. “That’s what I’m working on for Lyssa right now. A job. I heard that Dr. Makwa needs a nurse.” Her smile widened mischievously. “And have I got a nurse for him!”

  Julie couldn’t help but join in with Tori’s laughter, but she didn’t fail to notice that poor Lyssa looked less than hopeful about whatever situation she found herself in.

  Just then Grace raced up to Julie.

  “Hi, Ms. Dacey,” the child greeted, excitement lacing her tone. “I didn’t know you were coming to the festival.”

  “I wouldn’t have missed it, sweetie,” Julie said. “I love shopping.”

  Grace’s nose wrinkled. “I hate shopping. But later my great-granddaddy’s going to tell some stories. There’s going to be dancing and everything. At the Community Center. That’ll be really neat, don’tcha think? Will you be there? Will Brian be there? Is he here now?”

  Julie chuckled as she attempted to answer all the questions that had been tossed her way. “We’ll be there. We wouldn’t miss it. And Brian’s around here someplace.”

  An evening steeped in Native American culture sounded right up her alley. Brian had been nearly as excited as Grace about tonight, telling her about the events that had been planned for this evening.

  She took the opportunity to introduce the child to Tori and Lyssa, and the three exchanged greetings.

  “So where is Brian?” the little girl pressed Julie as she scanned the crowd.

  “He’s supposed to be buying me some lunch.” She looked around the ever-growing mob for her brother. Then realizing that Grace wasn’t with an adult, she asked, “Where’s your fathe
r? You shouldn’t be on your own. There are too many strangers on the rez today.”

  “I’m staying with Great-granddaddy today,” she told Julie. Her little chest seemed to puff out as she added, “My dad is working. It’s a special day, so all the policemen, er, ah… women… um… all the police people…”

  Grace paused in her explanation, clearly flummoxed by what she wanted to say and the inadequate words that were coming to her mind.

  “You mean officers?” Julie suggested.

  The girl’s gaze lit up at the non-gender-specific description. “Yes!” she pronounced. “All the officers have to work today. And my dad is the boss of every single one of them.”

  The three women shared a smile at the child’s pride in her father. Grace’s face beamed even brighter when the very man she’d just been speaking of approached the group.

  “What are you doing, young lady?” Mat chided his daughter. “You’re supposed to be with your great-grandfather. He’s standing over by the ice-cream booth and he’s worried about where you ran off to.”

  The expression on Grace’s face was filled to the brim with innocence. “I was just saying hello to Ms. Dacey.”

  “Well, you need to tell someone where you’re going before you go off, do you understand?”

  Grace kicked at the sidewalk. “Okay, I will. I promise.” Her tone was apologetic. “I’ll go let Great-granddaddy know I’m okay.”

  “Hold on,” Mat said, snagging Grace’s hand before she could dart away from him. “Stay with me just a minute and I’ll walk you over there.”

  The child sulked in silence and Mat turned his attention to Julie, Tori, and Lyssa.

  “Hey, Julie,” he said.

  Not missing the contrite quality in Mat’s voice, Julie hated that their relationship had evolved into this awkward mess.

  “Tori,” he said, nodding a pleasant greeting. Then he waited to be introduced to Lyssa.

  Tori didn’t disappoint him. “Mat, I’d like you to meet Lyssa. She’s going to be your brother’s saving grace. She’s a nurse, and I heard that a nurse is just what Dr. Dakota is looking for.”

  Mat grinned, evidently realizing that Tori was on a mission. “Nice to meet you, Lyssa.” Then he turned to Tori. “You can find Dakota at the medical tent. He volunteered his services today.”

  “Well, thank you for the information, Sheriff,” Tori said, grinning as she used his official title. She took Lyssa’s arm, but just as Julie thought the two women were going to take their leave, Tori turned back to Mat. “One more thing,” she said, her brow knitting with sudden concern, “I’ve seen a man on the far side of Misty Lake. Near my house, actually. I suspect he’s staying at the old hunting lodge. He’s not bothering me. He’s just… there. Do you know who he might be?”

  Mat was quiet for a moment. Then he leveled his dark eyes on Tori’s face. “I’m sure everything’s okay. You don’t have anything to worry about. But I’ll look into it, Tori. I’ll go out there right away and check it out.”

  But Mat’s careful choice of words was an unmistakable indication to Julie that he knew more than he was willing to admit.

  “Thanks, Mat,” Tori said. “I do appreciate it. A woman living alone can’t be too careful, you know?” She tapped Lyssa on the shoulder. “Let’s go find the good doctor,” she told her friend. “We’re going to get you a job. Bye, Julie. See you around, Mat.”

  They waved as they stepped off the curb to cross the street.

  Curiosity got the best of Julie. “You know who it is, don’t you? The man Tori was asking about?” For a moment, she thought Mat might not tell her what she already knew was the truth. But then his lips pursed and he sighed.

  “It’s my cousin, Chay,” Mat said. “He’s been staying at the cabin. He’s, ah… laying low.”

  He didn’t want her asking any questions, Julie realized. So she didn’t. But her interest was truly piqued. Did he mean that his cousin was hiding from the law? Was the man in some kind of trouble? But how could Mat, the sheriff of Misty Glen, allow such a situation to develop or continue? Mat’s sense of right and wrong was stronger than that of anyone Julie had ever met, so that left her wondering if his cousin could have dropped out of sight for some other reason.

  Questions rolled through her head, but she could tell she’d get no answers from Mat.

  “Can we go find Great-granddaddy now?” Grace tugged on her father’s arm.

  “Sure, honey. Let’s go.” Mat looked at Julie. “Would you like to walk along with us?”

  “I’d love to see Grayson,” she said, “but I promised Brian I’d wait here for him.”

  “But he was with my grandfather when I left him just a minute ago.”

  “Oh.” Julie shrugged comically at Grace. “Then I guess I should just come along with you, then.”

  “All right,” Grace said, “let’s go find my bestie Brian!” She danced in place. “It’s awful hard for me to keep still for very long.”

  Mat chuckled. “Yes, I know, little one. I sure do know that.”

  They had only walked a few steps when Grace grumbled, “I feel like I’m swimmin’ through a sea of knees and feet.”

  “Well, here,” Mat said, “maybe this will help.” He picked up his daughter and plunked her down on his shoulders.

  She squealed with glee. “I can see everything from up here, Dad.”

  “Careful, now,” he warned her. “Those aren’t doorknobs on the sides of my head. They’re my ears. And I’d like to keep them right where they are, if you don’t mind.”

  “Oh, Dad—” Grace giggled “—you’re funny.” After only a moment the child blurted, “Dad, how come I don’t look like you do?”

  Julie felt rather than saw Mat tense beside her, and both of them slowed their steps.

  “What do you mean, honey?” he asked Grace.

  “Well, I don’t look like the Kolheeks here on the rez,” she said without hesitation. “I don’t look like Great-granddaddy. Or Uncle Dakota. You and Uncle Dakota have straight black hair. So does most everyone else here. My hair’s all curly. Your skin is dark. Mine’s white… just like Ms. Dacey’s is.”

  Although Julie remained silent, she couldn’t stop her gaze from traveling to Mat’s face as she wondered how he would respond to his daughter’s inquiry.

  He was quiet for a bit, and finally he softly said, “Grace, you’re the image of your mother. You have her hair. Her eyes. You even have her laugh.” Reaching up, he patted her reassuringly on the knee. “You and I don’t need to have the same color skin or the same hair texture for me to be your dad. All we need is love for each other.”

  A smile tugged at the corners of Julie’s mouth. He couldn’t have given Grace a better answer, she thought.

  “Well,” the child pressed, “Brian and Ms. Dacey are related and they have the same kind of hair. Ain’t it strange that I don’t have your nose, or your ears, or your… well, your anything.”

  “Isn’t it strange,” Mat corrected her.

  “That’s just what I said. It’s very strange, don’t cha think?”

  Julie pressed her fingers to her mouth to keep her from laughing. But when she looked at Mat, she saw that he wasn’t finding this conversation the least bit amusing. A sudden realization hit her, and she instantly sobered. Lord above, why hadn’t she seen the truth before? It had been plain as the light of day all along.

  Mat lifted Grace from her perch and set her down on the sidewalk. Then he squatted down so that he was on eye level with her.

  “Honey, I love you,” he said. “And you love me. For right now I think that’s enough to hold us together.” The tap he gave the tip of her little nose was light and loving. “Forever and ever.”

  Grace’s mouth curled up in a grin. “Okay, Dad. Forever and ever.”

  Father and daughter shared a smile—his, doting, hers, adoring. Then Mat stood, planted his hands on Grace’s shoulders and turned her around to face away from him.

  “Now, there’s your great-g
randfather,” he told the child. “Go over there and apologize for running off without telling him.”

  “Yes, sir!” Grace scampered off.

  Julie knew she was holding her breath. Finally she could stand it no longer.

  “You’re not her biological father,” she breathed.

  He hesitated only a moment before softly admitting, “No, I’m not.”

  She watched his jaw muscle work and guessed that the thoughts running through his head were bothersome.

  “I think it’s too soon to tell her,” Mat continued. “I want our relationship to be good and strong first.”

  That was easy enough to understand. Julie asked, “Where is her father? How come he didn’t come forward to take Grace?”

  “I don’t know.” He shrugged. “I don’t know who the man is. Or where he is. I don’t even know if Karen knew who fathered Grace.”

  “That’s so sad.” Julie shook her head. “But the woman must have had parents. Siblings. Someone.”

  “The fact that she called me,” he said, “a man she hadn’t seen in years, was a pretty clear indication that she had no one else to turn to. I went through her apartment, Julie. Searched her belongings. I found not one scrap of information about her family or who might have fathered Grace. Gracie’s birth certificate states her father is unknown.”

  Julie’s steps slowed and then stopped altogether. “But you changed your whole life. Quit your job. Moved to Vermont. And all for a child who doesn’t even belong to you.”

  He was pensive. Finally he explained, “Karen was dying. I didn’t see any other choice but to make her last days a little easier by taking away her worry about Grace.”

  There had to be more to this. “But…” Feeling that further probing might be seen as intrusive, Julie let the rest of her thought fade away.

  Mat sighed. “Julie, as a Kolheek I’ve been taught the importance of paying back debts. Unselfishly. And without thought of personal impact. You see, I lost my parents when I was just a kid. If my grandfather hadn’t stepped up and taken responsibility for me, I’d have been out in the cold. Living on the streets. Just as Grace would have been had I not done the right thing.”