An Honorable Man

by Donna Fasano

  Doing the right thing. Making the right choices. Planting corn, instead of weeds. Those were very important aspects of who and what Mat Makwa was.

  The fact that he had changed his whole life for a little girl he hadn’t even known existed before he’d received that fateful call on behalf of his fatally ill ex-girlfriend…

  Julie thought her heart would simply shatter into a million shards, so full was it with the love she felt. He was one amazing man. Extraordinary. A truly remarkable human being.

  And she wished with all her might that she could tell him so. But… he’d made that quite impossible.

  ~oOo~

  That same evening, Mat patrolled the streets, relieved to see that the crowd had thinned. He was tired. He and his whole crew of officers had had a long, demanding day.

  There had been several incidences of petty theft, and Mat had actually escorted several teens off reservation land for fighting. A sobbing three-year-old boy had become separated from his parents. And an elderly woman had slipped, bruising her elbow badly enough that Mat had to call an ambulance to come from the neighboring town of Mountview to take her to hospital to be treated.

  All he could think about was getting this day over with so he could go home and step into a nice, hot shower.

  Now, now, a small voice chided from somewhere in the back of his brain, that’s not all you can think about. A rueful grin tugged at one corner of his mouth and he shook his head in helpless agreement.

  Julie.

  She’d been planted firmly in his thoughts all day long. He’d seen her, off and on, during the festivities. From the moment she’d discovered he wasn’t Grace’s biological father, something had… changed. She’d been treating him differently. It was almost as if she’d forgiven him all his past sins.

  He hadn’t revealed the information regarding his relationship to Grace to get into Julie’s good graces. Heck, she had guessed his secret. He’d merely confirmed it.

  He spied Julie then, just down the block. She waved, her mouth curving warmly, and Mat felt his blood heat.

  Women sure were amazing creatures. And Julie was no exception. Apparently his stepping up to the plate and taking responsibility for Grace, an act in which he felt he had no real choice, had apparently caused Julie to make allowances for his shortcomings.

  He watched as she swung her head to one side, tossing her thatch of glorious copper curls over her shoulder. The thought struck him for what seemed the billionth time—

  If ever there was a woman who could change a man’s mind…

  Tender and achy emotion surged inside him. How on earth would he ever hold on to his convictions? The question barely had time to shift through his mind before his whole world tipped off-kilter. The horrifying scene before him seemed to unfold in slow motion.

  A rough-looking man approached an unsuspecting Julie from the alley between the buildings. He jerked her purse from her shoulder and then shoved her. Hard. Julie didn’t even have time to cry out before she fell to the ground, her purchases tumbling and rolling helter-skelter all around her.

  Although Mat’s blood seemed to freeze in his veins, he got his feet to obey the commands of his brain. He tore down the street with one thought and one thought alone ricocheting in his skull.

  Protect Julie.

  ~oOo~

  Pain shot through Julie’s body. Her right shoulder ached terribly and her knee burned like fire. She heard shouting, but the voices sounded muffled, dreamlike and far off. There was movement around her, but it was disjointed and out of focus. Everything had happened so quickly. One moment she’d been walking down the street, the next she was lying flat on her face.

  She rolled onto her side and attempted to sit up. Her wrist throbbed when she put weight on her hand, and she sucked in a lungful of air. Something at the periphery of her vision had her darting a glance just in time to see a man racing away from her. Her eyes widened in wonder. Was that her new hand-tooled leather purse clutched under his arm like a football?

  The man disappeared from sight, darting around the corner of the market, as the realization struck her—she’d been robbed!

  Stunned, she simply sat on the pavement, blinking back the tears that seemed determined to leak from her eyes, taking some deep, calming breaths so she could get back in sync with the here and now. She saw Mat sprinting toward her and talking into his handheld radio. He was summoning help, she suspected. That was good because she could use a little help about now.

  “Julie!” Mat crouched next to her. “Are you hurt?”

  Still too stupefied to answer right away, she just stared at him. Took in his high cheekbones, his smooth, dusky skin, his dark, luscious eyes. She couldn’t help but think that he must be the most handsome man on the face of the earth. Strange that such a thought would ramble through the incoherence of her mind.

  Finally she murmured, “I’m alive.”

  He gripped her upper arms, and pain rolled over her in a wave. She must have winced because he let her go.

  “My shoulder,” she complained.

  “I’ll get you to the medical tent. My brother’s there. He’ll take a look at you, see if anything’s broken.”

  The tenderness in Mat’s voice melted her heart. Tears welled and spilled down her cheeks.

  “Oh, honey,” he said, smoothing the pads of his fingers along her jaw, “please don’t cry. It’s all over.”

  His touch brought her whole body alive.

  His gaze swept the length of her. “You’re bleeding.”

  She realized then that her jeans were torn at the knee and a cherry-red stain on the fabric was slowly spreading.

  Mat’s dark gaze turned flinty. “We’ll get the guy, don’t you worry. And he will pay for what he’s done.”

  Two officers struggled toward them, the purse snatcher jerking at the hold they had on his arms.

  “Ran into this guy on the next block,” Walt told Mat.

  “He took a bag,” Mat said. “Did he have it?”

  “I saw him toss it.” The female officer’s shirt was askew. “I’ll go pick it up once we get him secured.”

  Mat nodded. “Put him in my cruiser.”

  “Julie! What happened?” Brian pushed his way to the front of the small group of people gathered on the street, Grace close on his heels.

  “I’m okay, Brian,” Julie assured her brother. “I’ll have a bruise or two probably, but everything’s all right.”

  Mat helped her to her feet, but spun away from her when he heard Walt shout in alarm. A scream froze in Julie’s throat when she saw the perpetrator kick the woman officer, causing her to crumple to the ground, agony etched on her face. In a rage now, the purse snatcher slammed his body into Walt, sending them both tumbling to the pavement. The handcuffs didn’t prove much of a deterrent, so quickly was the man on his feet and racing away.

  Mat darted forward and tackled the man who refused to relent, rolling to his feet and fighting Mat with head and shoulder butts. He twisted out of Mat’s grasp, growling like some kind of crazed animal, spitting out vulgarities that would embarrass even the most hardened of people.

  Julie’s mouth dropped open in horror when Mat grabbed the thief and slammed him facedown to the ground, planting a knee between the man’s shoulder blades and asserting enough pressure to elicit a cry of anguished surrender.

  Seeing such violent and hostile behavior in Mat shook Julie to the core. Fear liquefied her knee joints, and she was acutely aware that her brother, with his background of abuse, must be feeling just as affected by the scene as she. And Grace! The poor child had probably never witnessed her father act this way, Julie was certain.

  She had to do something. She had to get Brian and Grace away from this disturbing situation. Away from this violence.

  “I need you to help me get to the medical tent,” she told the kids. But they remained motionless, mesmerized by the drama unfolding before them. Julie raised her voice as she called them by name.

  “Let’s
go,” she ordered, waving them toward her with her good hand and doing her darnedest to ignore the scuffling and cursing going on just a few yards away. “Now!”

  With her brother and Grace in tow, she limped away as quickly as she could.

  Chapter Ten

  The evening had finally grown quiet by the time Mat could make his way to Julie’s house. He stood in the darkness, looking at the small bungalow, noting that the front windows were dark. She was probably in bed. After her scary ordeal, he couldn’t blame her for turning in early.

  He should probably go away and come back tomorrow. But that was impossible. There were things that needed to be said. Emotions that needed to be exposed. Changes of heart that needed to be revealed.

  When he’d witnessed the guy rip off Julie’s purse and viciously shove her aside as if she were nothing, Mat’s only thought had been to save her. And like a flash of blinding light, he’d been struck with a marvelous realization. The love he felt for Julie transcended all else. He loved the woman with all his heart. With every fiber of his being.

  In the face of such magnitude of emotion, his conviction to remain unattached evaporated. And besides that, he finally saw just how stupid he’d been.

  Julie had been right all along. No one can predict when death will come. No one can hide from it. No one can sidestep it. But avoiding living life to the fullest because of a fear of death was wrong. Terribly wrong.

  He knew the truth now. He knew that if he didn’t spend the rest of his life with Julie, the Great One might as well take him now, because he sure didn’t want to live without her.

  The soles of his shoes scuffed the stoop, and he raised his hand and knocked on the door. He regretted having to wake her, but he thought that, after hearing all he had to say, she wouldn’t mind too much. At least, he hoped she wouldn’t.

  A soft smile still played on his mouth when she opened the door to him.

  “Mat.”

  Her delicate features were soft, the moonlight turning her hair silky, nearly iridescent. All he wanted to do was reach out and touch her. But he didn’t. There was too much he wanted to tell her first, and if he surrendered to the urge to get physical, he just might end up botching the job.

  “I came to make sure you’re okay,” he told her, and then he quirked his mouth. “That’s not the only reason I came. May I come in?”

  She backed up a step or two so he could enter.

  “I’m glad you came,” she told him. “I have something I need to tell you.”

  Her voice was soft, but the gravity he heard in the words had his gaze lifting to her face. Trouble seemed to knit her brow and Mat’s insides tightened instinctively.

  Julie closed the door and moved to the living room.

  “Sit down,” she offered as she lowered herself into an armchair. “I’ve been tossing and turning, trying to sleep, but it’s just no use.”

  “You’re in pain?” he asked as he took a seat on the couch. “I’m so sorry.”

  She waved her hand in a small arc. “I’m not that hurt, actually. A bruised shoulder, sprained wrist. Scraped knee. And my pride’s a little wounded.” She tilted her head. “But it’s not my injuries that have kept me awake.”

  “You’re upset,” he guessed. “About what happened today.”

  “Well… sure. I’d have to be crazy not to be.”

  Her green eyes held an emotion so intense that Mat was held rapt by it.

  “I’ve decided that you’re right,” she continued. She paused, frowning while she nibbled on her upper lip. “We really shouldn’t be together. You and I wouldn’t make a good couple.”

  He sat up strait, as if his spine had suddenly turned into a steel rod.

  “Today I felt…” The emotions rising to the surface were evidently more than she could bear, and she paused long enough to pull in a deep breath. Then she unwittingly moistened her lips and began again.

  “Mat, today I felt so afraid.” Her gaze locked with his as she huskily added, “Of you.”

  He just sat there, shocked. Mute.

  “You said you’d make that man pay for hurting me.” Her voice was small as she added, “And that’s exactly what you did.” She blinked, pursed her lips, guilt clear and unmistakable in her face. “You literally smashed that poor man to the pavement.” Her eyes glistened with tears. “He was already handcuffed, Mat. You hurt him because of me.”

  Mat wanted to defend himself. To justify his actions. But he couldn’t get his tongue to work properly.

  “You need to know something,” Julie continued. She laced her fingers together tightly. “My stepfather didn’t just start beating up on Brian out of the blue one day. Robert’s abusive behavior was first launched on my mom years before Brian was even born. I witnessed it, Mat. I watched as his degrading comments turned to open-handed smacks and those smacks turned to closed-fisted punches. I saw the black eyes, the broken noses. I saw him beat my mother down. Body and soul.”

  Her indrawn breath was shaky. “The police came to our house more times than I could count.” She stopped long enough to swallow, evidently shaken by some thought, “Your uniform. I was scared of you when we first met.” Julie shook her head. “I know it probably makes no sense. The police always arrived with the idea of helping me and my mother, not harming us. But you see, seeing you in that uniform just brought back memories. Vivid memories of the things I’d endured growing up. Things I was helpless to stop.”

  Julie sighed, squared her shoulders. “I didn’t mean to get off-track here. The point to all this is… aggressive men terrify me, Mat. They always have. And they always will.”

  Accusation tainted her green gaze as she leveled it, unwaveringly, on him.

  “Wait a minute,” he said. His head shook from side to side as he tried to grasp the equation she was setting up. “Wait just a minute. Are you saying…” The thought petered out as he mentally calculated. When he finally got the sum of her thoughts, anger flared. “I can’t believe you’re putting me in the same category as Brian’s father.”

  He expected her to look guilt-ridden, but her expression remained determined. Then his ire fizzled as mortification set in. To think she might have that opinion of him!

  “Julie,” he began, carefully, “I’ll admit I’m aggressive, even forceful sometimes. My job often calls for it.” A small breath puffed from his chest. “But there’s a distinct difference between my behavior and that of your stepfather.”

  She looked unconvinced.

  “I only use force to serve the public I’m bound to protect.” Sudden agitation had him sliding his hands along his thighs, digging and kneading the muscles with his fingertips. “That man robbed you today,” he continued. “He shoved you to the ground like a sack of garbage. Then he fled with no regard for your welfare.” He paused long enough to let what he’d said sink in. “But his treatment of you wasn’t the only reason I took him down the way I did. He broke the law, Julie. Plain and simple. And when my officers caught him, he resisted arrest. He harmed someone who’s under my supervision. Someone I’m responsible for. I had to subdue the guy. He could have harmed some innocent bystander. He could have harmed me!”

  He heard his tone escalating and knew the cause of it wasn’t just anger. He was insulted. He slowed down long enough to garner control of his emotions.

  Calmer now, he said, “I won’t let you lump me into the same category as the scumbag who brutalized your mother and your brother. There’s no way I’m anything like him. When I show aggression, it’s for a reason. A noble reason. Your stepfather abused those who were powerless against him, in some twisted attempt to make himself look bigger than he was, or feel better about himself.” Mat shook his head. “He’s a sorry excuse for a man.”

  “He’s right, Julie.”

  Both Mat and Julie swiveled their heads to see that Brian had entered the living room.

  “Brian.” Julie stood up. “I’m sorry we woke you, but I really would appreciate it if you’d go back into your room so Ma
t and I can—”

  “You can’t shut me out of this, Julie,” Brian said, raising his chin. “You’re being unfair to Mat. The things you’re saying, they’re all wrong.”

  A frown furrowed Julie’s brow, and Mat got the distinct impression that she wasn’t certain how to respond to her brother. Pressing her lips together tightly, she sat back down in one quick, jerky motion. Brian came over and sat next to Mat on the couch.

  The boy rested his elbows on his knees, a posture that seemed too mature for his age. “Dad treated Mom bad. Real bad.” His voice came out in a rusty whisper. “And when she wasn’t around to take it anymore, he turned his meanness on me.”

  Mat saw Julie flinch and he suspected she was feeling remorseful about having stayed away from home… away from the problems there for so long, leaving her brother to face the brunt of it alone. Of course, she hadn’t realized what was taking place behind those closed doors. She’d explained that. And the moment she saw what was happening, she’d removed Brian from the situation. But Mat could see she still felt guilty about what he had been forced to endure.

  “Like Mat said,” Brian continued, “what Dad did to Mom and me, how he acted… he doesn’t deserve to be called a man. He doesn’t deserve my love or my respect.”

  Julie scooted to the edge of the chair. “Brian, honey, this is the first time you’ve…” She paused, emotion visibly overcoming her. She swallowed and tried again. “All these weeks I’ve tried to get you to talk about… him. About how he treated you.”

  “I don’t want to talk about it.” The teen’s throat convulsed and his eyes glistened. Silent tears slipped down his face. “It was horrible. The man who was supposed to take care of me beat the crap outta me. What good does it do to talk about it?”

  Mat felt compelled to respond. “It’s good to talk, Brian. Not only would you be letting out your anger and resentment about the past, but you’d quickly discover that what happened to you wasn’t your fault. You weren’t to blame. You’re a human being, worthy of respect, deserving of safety and love and kindness and caring. Just like everyone else.”