An Honorable Man

by Donna Fasano

  Brian raised his head, his shoulders squaring. “You made me understand that. The weekend we were camping together. And Grayson’s been telling me the same thing through his stories.” He glanced from Mat to Julie. “You two might think I’m just a kid, but I’ve been storing away everything you’ve been teaching me.”

  The three of them continued to talk. About the past. About the present. And even a little about the future.

  Finally Brian said, “I’m sorry for lashing out at you, Julie. I was just, I don’t know, really angry. But I know it wasn’t your fault. And I’m grateful that you got me away from him. I’m glad you brought me to Misty Glen. I feel safe here.” His gaze shifted to the floor as he added, “I feel loved.”

  At last Brian got up and hugged Julie. “I know it wasn’t easy. I love you for all you’ve done.”

  ~oOo~

  Long minutes after Brian had bid them good-night and gone back his bedroom, Julie’s gaze remained trained on the hallway down which he’d disappeared.

  “I can’t believe it,” she finally said. She turned to Mat. “I think he’s going to get over what happened. He’s really going to be okay.”

  Mat nodded. “He’s healing.”

  She sighed. “I owe you an apology.”

  Her beautiful face screwed up with an expression that could only be described as something between contrition and embarrassment.

  “A huge apology,” she said.

  “You don’t owe me anything, Julie.” He realized that his anger had blown itself out completely. “I can understand why you’d be frightened of what you saw today. I really can.”

  There air felt stiff, but then she smiled at him and the awkwardness seemed to break up, scatter, and dissolve. This was it, he realized. His chance to speak his heart.

  “I came tonight,” he began, “so that I could talk to you. Tell you that…”

  In that instant, his stomach muscles seized. Shoving the anxiety aside, he plowed ahead. “I came to tell you that I think you’ve been right all along. Tonight, I had… well, I had that change of heart you’ve been looking for.”

  She was silent. And the disquiet that had been slowly churning in his gut now started to bubble and spit like thick goo simmering in a cauldron.

  He rushed on, needing to get this speech over with. “I thought about some of the logic you brought up. You were right when you said that none of us knows when we’re going to die. You were right to question me about Gracie. I do have a worry about who would be there for her if I were to… well, you know, not be around for her.”

  Julie’s mouth went flat. Mat swallowed around the nervous lump that rose in his throat. This wasn’t going the way he’d expected. Not at all.

  “You’re good with my daughter,” he pronounced, making his tone bright and cheery. “She likes you. And the two of you get along really well.”

  Was that the beginning of a frown biting into the space between her brows?

  “And I think I’ve been pretty good for Brian. We’ve, um, developed a real friendship, the two of us have, don’t you think?”

  Evidently she deemed the question as rhetorical. With each second that passed it seemed that her facial muscles were growing tighter until her skin looked drawn. She almost looked annoyed. But that was absurd.

  Mat didn’t take the time to ponder what he knew to be ridiculous.

  “So,” he continued, “I was thinking that maybe the two of us might consider… well, don’t you think we’d be good… you know… together? For Grace and Brian? And you and me? You know… a family?” His mouth felt dry as dust. And he realized in that instant that, yes, she definitely did look miffed.

  She didn’t speak for a long moment. Then she drew her shoulders back, one brow arching heavenward. “Although your plan sounds quite sensible… I’m not interested.”

  Julie stood then, clasping her arms tightly across her chest. “I’ll say good-night to you, Mat. And I’d appreciate it if you lock the door behind you when you leave.” She wheeled around and left him sitting there feeling totally bewildered and wondering what in the name of heaven had gone wrong.

  ~oOo~

  “What is it with women? I just don’t get it.”

  As Mat railed, he paced from one end of his grandfather’s kitchen to the other, then turned and looked into Grayson’s sleepy, deep-set eyes. The elderly man sat silent, his elbow on the table, his head resting heavily on his palm.

  “She was the one who argued against my fear of commitment. She was the one who said my anxiety over dying prematurely was illogical.”

  A cool September breeze fluttered the curtains hanging at the window.

  “Grandfather, you have to understand. While I was working in New York, I saw good people die. I watched their families mourn.” His jaw set. “That grief was something I didn’t want anyone in my life to experience, so I didn’t let anyone in my life.”

  He looked unseeingly around the kitchen. “But Julie didn’t hesitate to dispute my thinking. She made me see that anyone could depart this life by simply stepping out onto the street at the wrong moment. But when I went over there tonight to tell her I finally agreed with her, that I’ve changed my mind, that I thought we should be together—” he directed his gaze at Grayson “—she turned me down. Said she wasn’t interested.”

  Frustration had him throwing up his hands. “Wasn’t she the one who thanked me, over and over, for spending time with Brian? Wasn’t she the one who said I was a good role model for the boy? And hasn’t she gone out of her way to make a good impression on Grace? Not just as a teacher, but as someone who is truly concerned for Gracie’s welfare?” Disappointment had him shaking his head. “She loves me. She’s said it. Plainly. Why can’t she see that our being together—the four of us as a family—makes perfect sense?”

  Mat fell quiet, feeling empty and all questioned out. Julie’s response to his plea was baffling.

  Softly, Grayson asked, “That’s the reasoning you presented?”

  The reply forming on Mat’s tongue went unsaid when the old man emitted a shoulder-shaking chortle. Mat’s knee-jerk reaction was to feel offended, but he ignored it. This man raised him. This man was shrewd, astute, sensible. His grandfather had little in the way of formal education, but his wisdom ran deep.

  “First of all, Matoskah,” his grandfather said, “both of you are wrong about the end of life on earth. Death is nothing to fear. No life ends until the Spirit Father says it is time. Do you believe a man with a knife is more powerful than the Great One?” His mouth became a firm line, and then he pronounced, “Never.”

  Grayson pointed his index finger at his beloved grandson. “You think I don’t know about that jar of pennies you keep in your office?” He shook his head, his long gray hair swinging gently. “Life and death have nothing whatsoever to do with luck. None of us leaves this world until the Great Spirit says it is time for us to pass into the Other Place. Whether a person believes that or not makes no difference. What is, is.”

  Every nuance of his grandfather’s weariness seemed to have disappeared, replaced with a fierce passion.

  “You have been foolish to believe you should go through this life alone simply because you fear your own mortality. Because you fear the tears and grief of those you would leave behind.”

  Mat’s head dipped. “You’re right, Grandfather. I have been foolish.”

  “In more ways than one.”

  Indignant, Mat stared hard at Grayson. He refrained from commenting, but he couldn’t help feeling confused by his grandfather’s attack.

  Grayson sighed. “When a woman is in love, the last thing she wants to hear is practical logic. Making sense isn’t important. Telling Julie that she and her brother and you and your daughter would make a good family was a mistake. A foolish mistake. Julie wants to hear that you’re besotted with her.”

  “But I am besotted with her!” Mat was too distraught to realize that before that moment, the archaic word hadn’t even been in his vocabular
y. But it fit how he felt about Julie. To a T.

  “Then go tell her that and let me get back to bed.”

  Grayson lifted his hand to comb arthritic fingers through his hair as Mat bolted from the kitchen.

  ~oOo~

  When Mat’s repeated knock on Julie’s front door garnered no response, he should have given up and gone away. Any normal man would have. But he realized this wasn’t an ordinary circumstance, so he was damned if he was going to yield so easily. He came here to straighten out the muddled mess he’d created, and he meant to do it.

  The porch railing was smooth under his fingers as he descended the stairs. The grass muffled his steps as he perused the darkened windows, wondering which one Julie might be behind.

  If the neighbors were to see him skulking around her house in the dark, they might make a call to the police station. Now wouldn’t that be something?

  A bush growing close to the house was perfect cover and he didn’t waste any time slipping behind it. His feet crunched on the gravel that had obviously been laid to deter the growth of weeds around the foundation of the house. As surreptitiously as possible, he peered in the window. The shade had been raised about six inches to let in the night breeze, but the filmy sheers blocked his view.

  He was just about to turn away when the curtain was shoved aside and a pert nose and a pair of vivid green eyes appeared close to the screen.

  “May I ask what you think you’re doing?”

  Even angry, her beauty was enough to make his heart ka-chunk in his chest. He smiled, but when she glared at him in return, he wrestled it under control.

  “I knocked,” he told her. “But you didn’t answer the door.”

  “Normally that means that the occupants aren’t interested in visitors.”

  The chill in her tone had his shoulders rounding. Then she relented with a sigh.

  “I wasn’t ignoring you, Mat,” she admitted softly. “I didn’t hear you at the front door. It was the herd of elephants thrashing around in the bushes that woke me.”

  Ah, good, she’d made a joke. But she wasn’t smiling. Still, he felt compelled to have his say.

  “Well, now that you’re awake,” he said, “can we talk?”

  She hesitated only a moment. “I don’t think so. I can’t see that there’s anything more to be said.”

  “Julie, please.” Feeling the desperate urge to touch her, he reached out. But all he contacted was the fine mesh of the screen. “Please listen to what I have to say.”

  Julie stared at him. Then she said, “Okay. I’m listening.”

  A flash of frustration had him frowning. “Can’t I come in?”

  Her brows rose. “In here? I don’t think that’s happening.”

  “Not in your bedroom,” he said. “Just… inside the house.”

  She pulled back from the window several inches, pondering, and moonbeams radiated against the white fabric of her nightgown and her smooth, pale skin.

  “Go around to the front door. Give me a second to grab my housecoat.”

  She let the curtain drop then, and he actually felt bereft that he was no longer graced with the sight of her.

  Wading out of the bush, he made his way to the stoop. The door opened in just a few seconds.

  He took in her mass of mussed curls, her milky skin, her sleep-softened eyes, and he wondered how on earth he’d managed to talk himself into living without her all these weeks. Then he remembered how he’d surrendered—more than once—to the passion he felt for her, and he had to admit that his subconscious had known what was best for him all along. He wished he had been smart enough to listen to it.

  Instead of offering him entrance as he’d expected, Julie stepped out onto the front porch and said, “It’s a nice night. Let’s just talk out here. I don’t want to wake Brian again.”

  “Sure,” he said.

  She tucked her robe around her as they settled themselves on the top porch step.

  Mat tamped down his case of nerves. He was desperate to keep his wits about him. To get the words right this time.

  “Julie,” he began, “when I was here earlier, I botched things up. I didn’t mean any of the things I said—”

  He stopped. Tried again. “I meant them, but—”

  Again he stopped. “Wait. All the things I said before make lots of sense, but those weren’t the things—”

  Hell, why was this so hard?

  His sigh was titanic. He turned to her, gently placed his hands on her forearms.

  “I came here earlier to tell you how I feel,” he said. “I came to tell you that I’d changed my mind about our being together.”

  “Yes,” she told him tightly, “I got that. I clearly understood all your arguments.”

  When she tried to look away, he whispered her name and she turned to face him.

  “I love you, Julie. Do you hear me? I love you.”

  Something sparked in her green gaze. Was it hope? Just to be certain there was no misunderstanding this time around, he repeated, “I love you like I’ve never loved anyone in my entire life.”

  Her shoulders relaxed and the beginning of a smile curled her mouth.

  Sensing he was on the correct path now, he rushed down it. “I know that I can’t predict the future. And I wouldn’t want to. But whether I live to forty or four hundred, I want to spend every single day I’ve got left here on earth with you. Not for my daughter. Not for your brother. But for me. And for you.”

  Yes, that really was joyous expectation he read in her eyes, lighting her whole face.

  “We belong together, Julie.” He took a moment to study her features. “The love in my heart is so big, I’m afraid it will burst right out of my chest.”

  Her smile was bright and shining now, and although he knew such a thing could never happen—love couldn’t possibly rip open a man’s chest—it seemed that the illogical declaration was just what she needed to hear.

  “Oh, Mat,” she breathed, “I’ve waited so long to hear you say that.”

  He pulled her tightly to him, her scent filling his nostrils, her velvet skin causing his own flesh to prickle with overwhelming need.

  “I know you have.” His voice was husky as he inched closer. “And I’m sorry I’ve been so stubborn.” And closer. “So sorry.”

  Elation burst from her in a light puff of laughter. “But I wouldn’t want you any other way! I love you, too.”

  Mat kissed her then, their mouths coming together in a meeting that was deliriously hot and sweet. With the taste of her on his tongue, the feel of her in his arms, he knew he’d found the love of his life. Yes, it had taken him a while, but he’d found her just the same.

  THE END

  Although the books in this series are stand-alone novels, reading the books in order will offer the most enjoyable experience. Titles in The Black Bear Brothers Series:

  An Honorable Man, Book 1

  Woman of His Heart, Book 2

  Healing Chay, Book 3

  Page forward for a note from the author.

  A Note From The Author

  Dear Reader,

  While researching Native American culture for the Black Bear Brothers series, I learned that some tribes practiced what I have termed “family absorption”— the custom of bringing into the family those who have none of their own. Many times, tribal families would adopt children whose parents had passed away. These youngsters were just as cherished as biological children. When Mat revealed that he had accepted responsibility for Gracie, without question or a moment of hesitation, I absolutely fell in love with him. There is nothing sexier than an honorable man, and Mat proved his goodness and integrity by his actions. Julie recognized this immediately.

  I hope you enjoyed An Honorable Man. If you did, please consider leaving a short review. And please tell a friend! Nothing helps an author more than word-of-mouth recommendations.

  The Black Bear Brothers series has 2 more books:

  Dakota’s story: Woman of His Heart, Book 2
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  Chay’s story: Healing Chay, Book 3

  Both books are available as e-books and as paperbacks. I would be honored if you look for them.

  All my best,

  Donna Fasano

  Other Books By Donna Fasano

  The Ocean City Boardwalk Series:

  (Contemporary Romance)

  Following His Heart, Book 1

  Two Hearts in Winter, Book 2

  Wild Hearts of Summer, Book 3

  An Almost Perfect Christmas, Book 4

  Grown-Up Christmas List, Book 5

  The Wedding Planner’s Son, Book 6

  Second Chance Valentine, Book 7

  Her Mr. Miracle, Book 8

  The Single Daddy Club:

  (Sweet Romance)

  Derrick, Book 1

  Jason, Book 2

  Reece, Book 3

  Stand-Alone Novels:

  Finding Fiona (Women’s Fiction)

  The Merry-Go-Round (Romantic Comedy)

  Reclaim My Heart (Contemporary Romance)

  Mountain Laurel (Sweet Romance)

  Take Me, I’m Yours (Contemporary Romance)

  Her Fake Romance (Contemporary Romance)

  A Family Forever Series:

  (Sweet Romance, can be read as stand-alone novels)

  A Beautiful Stranger, Book 1

  Made in Paradise, Book 2

  A Reason to Believe, Book 3

  An Accidental Family, Book 4

  Nanny and the Professor, Book 5

  Non-Fiction:

  The Prayer of Quiet

  Cooking in all Directions: Recipes from the Blog

  Favorite Christmas Cookies

  Guy Food

  About The Author