Keep My Heart (Top Shelf Romance Book 7)

by Lex Martin

  My eyes meet hers, and I don’t even have to say. She immediately knows.

  “Maybe you should talk to him?”

  “No team Traviola talk tonight.” My words come out harsher than I intend them to. Court gives me a small smile and nods her head. Ever since that night, I haven’t been able to talk about him, but the whole out-of-sight, out-of-mind thing is total bullshit. Often, when I’m alone, I find myself wondering what he’s doing, and I’m so tempted to text him, but I don’t. My heart is so ready to betray my mind, but I can’t. I need to focus on my future while learning to be alone.

  “Come on.” Courtney loops her arms with mine and drags me to the Jeep. I’m going to miss this so damn much, and it makes me sad that she won’t be able to capture me whenever she wants. As she starts it, she bends down and yanks off her heels, throwing them in the back seat. “Those fucking heels…”

  The top is down, and the wind is blowing through my hair. Courtney is singing at the top of her lungs, driving way too fast, and all I can do is smile.

  “Where are we going?” I ask.

  “Cheesecake Factory?”

  “You must want to make it to second base tonight.” I joke with her because this is where all the college guys bring their girlfriends for date night when they want brownie points to redeem later at night.

  She pulls into the parking lot and reaches in the back for her heels. “If we were in Texas, I’d just go barefoot.”

  “You’re ridiculous.” I laugh.

  “It happens all the time. You have no idea.”

  We walk inside, and she leads me straight to the bar. Before she even sits down, she’s ordering a martini. I order a water and a piece of Godiva chocolate cheesecake. Chocolate fixes all wounds.

  “What are you going to do now?” I ask her when the waiter slides the slice of heaven in front of me. She grabs my fork and takes a bite. “Yup, died and went to heaven.” She smiles, but then frowns. “Honestly?”

  I nod.

  “I have no idea. Just thought I’d kind of wing it. My lease doesn’t end until the end of the year.” She shrugs. “Not sure.”

  “You stress me out.” I laugh. “Your grades were nearly perfect. You could get a job anywhere.”

  She nudges me. “Your grades were perfect. I’ll just live life vicariously through you.”

  After she finishes my cheesecake and her drink, we both start yawning. Who would have thought graduation would be so tiring? We drive back to my dorm, and before I get out, I turn and look at her. This overwhelming sense of sadness takes control, and I lean over and give her a side hug. Courtney unbuckles and pulls me into a big hug and wraps both arms around me. I laugh, thinking about how much we look like lovers, but it’s not even like that. She’s the sister I always wished I had.

  “I’m going to miss the fuck out of you, Lola.”

  “I’m going to miss you too, Court.”

  “Who’s going to keep me sane when you’re gone?” We pull apart.

  “Maybe I’ll get Drew to,” I say with a smile.

  Her eyes widen, and I get out of the Jeep. “Don’t you dare tease me like that!”

  “Who said I was teasing? Bye!”

  She smiles and reverses the Jeep so hard the tires squeal. I hear Taylor Swift blaring in the distance, and I know that it might be the last time we get to hang out before I leave. I’m still questioning if leaving is the right choice, but I hope to God it is.

  Chapter 14

  Travis

  Another dreadful day at the office has me second-guessing returning early in the first place. I feel fine, but the awkward tension between Blake and me is undeniable. Alyssa walks by my office, licks her lips, and pulls her skirt up just before walking off.

  I know the two of them are still plotting something against me, especially now that Alyssa is officially the Director of Global Sales. I’m so tired of their shit that I’ve been thinking more and more about my mother’s idea of starting my own small marketing firm. The thought scares the shit out of me, but I know it’d be a great investment for my future, and the more I think about Viola being my future, the more I want to make the best of it.

  I call my mom on my way home from work, ready to talk about this business opportunity. It’s been a good way to bond without talking about the elephant in the room—my father’s cancer—and whether I’m going to visit him anytime soon.

  The verdict: undecided.

  “If you need a loan for the start-up costs, my offer still stands,” she tells me again.

  “I know, Mom, and I appreciate that. I just think this is something I need to do myself. Grown-up stuff, you know?”

  “You may be a twenty-four-year-old man, but you’ll always be my little boy, Travis.”

  I smile and shake my head even though she can’t see me. “I know.”

  Once I pull into the driveway, we say our goodbyes, and I’m actually relieved to see that Drew is home already. It’s been over a week since I’ve seen Viola after her graduation ceremony, and between work and Gryff, I’ve stayed plenty busy, but I still miss her like crazy. Things haven’t exactly smoothed over between Drew and me either. I hate all the tension between us, but I’m hoping we can resolve that soon. I betrayed his trust, and I’m willing to do whatever it takes to fix that. On the other hand, I’m worried Viola and I will never be the same again.

  As soon as I open the door, Gryff runs to me and starts licking my face immediately. I pet his head and back before setting him back down.

  “Who’s a good boy?” I say in an embarrassing, high-pitched tone that Viola convinced me he liked. He follows me as I walk farther inside.

  “Hey, man,” I say as I step into the kitchen, where he’s steaming vegetables. “Ugh, man. Smells like ass in here.”

  “Fresh vegetables,” he clarifies. “Meal prepping for the next week.”

  Drew is as obsessed about what he eats as much as he is about working out. I give him props for sticking to it, but I would die if I couldn’t binge every once in a while.

  “Chicken and veggies. Sounds delicious,” I say with a mocking tone. He knows I’m giving him shit, but he doesn’t fire back.

  “You get used to it.”

  “So, I was thinking with Viola leaving next weekend that we should sit down and talk. Get everything out in the open because I hate this awkward tension between us. I want to tell you everything about that night and the actual truth of events. I know it won’t change what’s already happened, but I want us to move forward.”

  I watch as he digests my words. He sprinkles seasonings over the veggies and places the lid back on the pot. He turns around and finally looks at me, uncertainty etched all over his features, and I worry about what he’s about to say.

  “Viola already left.” His words hit me like a ton of bricks, yet I can’t comprehend them.

  “Wait, what?”

  “She left two days ago. Booked an earlier flight.”

  I blink, my mind racing and I can’t think straight. She wasn’t supposed to leave until next weekend.

  “Why? You didn’t tell me. She…” I lose my words as I fight back the anger that’s brewing inside me.

  “Sorry, man. She asked me not to say anything. She said she had to leave and start fresh.” I can tell he knows this is hitting me hard as he rests a hand on my shoulder. “We had talked before she left, and I know that what you two had was real and that you both had strong feelings for each other, but she’ll always make her future a priority over everyone in her life. She’s always been that way.”

  “I was supportive of that, but we’d planned on me taking her to the airport, at least. I didn’t even get to say goodbye.”

  “I don’t think she knew how to say goodbye to you.”

  Gryff begins pawing at my slacks, directing my attention down to him. I knew she loved Gryff and would’ve wanted to see him one last time, so the fact that she just left both of us behind leaves me almost speechless.

  “So, I guess that means s
he doesn’t want to talk to me either?” I mutter, mostly to myself, but I know Drew heard me.

  “Give her some time to adjust, and then try reaching out to her. She might come around. You never know,” Drew offers.

  I hope he’s right.

  I can’t fathom not talking to her for six months. But what if she meets someone else and forgets about us completely?

  The following day, Drew is off work, and I take the opportunity to sit down with him. I want the chance to explain that night, and why I kept the truth about Mia and Viola from him. I know what’s done is done, but we have a history, and I can’t let something like this burden our friendship.

  “So, what do you know? Or rather, what all did Mia tell you?”

  “We haven’t spoken much since that night. She’s called me, but there weren’t many details. She still claims you made a move, stripped her down, and then climbed into the back seat with her and started messing around.”

  I cringe at his words. The mere thought of that happening sickens me.

  “Fucking hell, Drew,” I mutter, brushing my palms along the thighs of my jeans. “I never touched her.”

  “I can’t say I’d be surprised if that’s the truth. But Mia has no reason to lie.”

  “Mia doesn’t need a damn reason to lie, Drew! She’s a psycho! She wanted to hurt you, and for some reason wanted to throw me under the bus for her own personal amusement.”

  “I’m not saying I believed her. But considering your history, and then finding out you hooked up with Viola, it just made her story more believable.”

  “Look, I know I’m far from perfect, and I have my fair share of fuckups when it comes to chicks, but I want to be with Viola and her only. When I ran into Mia, she was with another guy, and he was screaming in her face. He hit me, man. I’m pretty sure my ribs were broken before the accident. I got her out of there, and she started freaking out, so I pulled over into a gas station parking lot. I tried to calm her down, and the next thing I know, she’s coming at me. I didn’t kiss her back, and I guess she felt rejected because she came up with some bullshit lie that I touched her.”

  Drew’s soaking up my words as his expression tightens. I know he doesn’t want to hear about Mia being with another guy any more than I’d want to hear that about Viola, but he needs to hear the truth.

  “How’d she end up naked in your back seat?”

  “Once I pushed her back and told her I was in love with someone else, she got all hysterical. She was already freaking out about the fight at the diner and was feeling sick, and the next thing I know, she pukes all over herself. I gave her my shirt to clean up, but it was all over her dress. I told her to lie down in the back and settle her stomach. I didn’t have any blankets, so she just took the dress off.”

  He nods as I finish the story. “I don’t remember anything after that, but I swear on my life that I would never touch Mia. Viola owns my heart, and I’m pretty sure she always has.”

  He looks up and smiles at me. “Well, you better be sure to win her back then.”

  “Trust me. I won’t stop until I do.”

  Over the weekend, I drive up to my childhood home. I didn’t call and give my mother a heads-up because I kept changing my mind. The closer I got, the more nervous I felt. I hadn’t seen my dad in years, and I wasn’t sure what to expect now that he was sick, but I felt it was something I needed to do. At least for my mom’s sake.

  “Travis!” she squeals the moment she opens the door and sees me. “I can’t believe you’re here!” She takes a step forward and wraps her arms around me.

  I smile as she squeezes me a tad too tight. She notices I wince and quickly steps back. “Sorry, I’m just so excited you’re here.”

  Shrugging with a guilty smile, I say, “Well, I figured it was finally time to come home.”

  She leads me inside, and I follow. Everything looks the same, and it feels like I’m walking through a time capsule from my childhood. My father is sitting in the living room in the same chair he’s always sat in, usually with a six-pack and the remote, but this time he’s with a magazine and a glass of ice water.

  “Look who came for a visit,” my mother says, grabbing his attention up to mine. His reaction is clear. He’s completely shocked, but he doesn’t make the first move to speak.

  “Hi, Dad.”

  “Son.” He nods. “You look good.”

  “Thanks.” I follow my mother’s lead and sit on the sofa across from him. “You do, too.” The first thing I notice about my father is that he’s sober. I think it’s the first time in my life I’ve seen him sober.

  “Wish I could say I feel as good as I look, but…”

  “Yeah, Mom told me.” I brush a hand over my jawline. “What’s the diagnosis?”

  “Stage four cancer.” He says it as casually as if I were asking him about the weather. He looks like he’s accepted the terms of his destiny, but when I glance over at my mother and see her frown, it’s obvious she hasn’t. I know she loves my father and will go through this with him until the end, but I wish he had treated her better to merit such loyalty.

  We spend the afternoon talking over lunch. It’s been years since I’ve felt like I’ve had a family, and even though I still have a lot of resentment toward him, I’m glad I came. I know my mom is going to need a lot of support, whether she wants to admit it or not.

  It’s been a week since I’ve arrived in Boston, which is beautiful in the summer, but I’m still suffering from the jet lag. The three-hour time difference has messed with my sleeping schedule, and I’m so exhausted. I’ve been struggling to wake up to my alarm every morning. I’ve also been suffering from these annoying headaches and nausea. I looked it up, and I guess it’s pretty common if you experience jet lag, so I’m hoping my body gets used to it soon. Either that or the nerves are wreaking havoc on my entire body.

  Even texting Drew or Courtney is becoming a challenge. When I’m up and ready for work at eight, they’re still in bed and barely functioning. I’ve learned not to expect a response from Courtney until my lunch break.

  I only brought the essentials with me, so unpacking was a breeze. I managed to find a furnished studio apartment, and with the company’s payment plan, it’s actually affordable. It’s only four hundred square feet, but it’s cute and works for me. The day after I arrived, I FaceTimed Courtney and showed her around. She nearly gasped when I showed her the tiny bathroom.

  “Can you even pee in there?” she asked as I gave her the tour. The answer is yes, but it’s not easy. The door has to be left open. Otherwise, my knees hit the paneling.

  The kitchen isn’t a kitchen at all, but rather a kitchenette with a tiny sink, a mini fridge, and a one-burner stove. It doubles as my bedroom, which is fine by me since I’m only home to sleep or shower anyway. But the one bonus is the rooftop deck and community garden I get to use.

  I’ve been at the firm five days now, which is terrifying and exciting all at once. My boss, Henry O’Connor, is extremely intimidating. I do most of the bitch work, but I know once I prove myself, I’ll be able to handle some group projects.

  By the time my day ends and I make it back to my little hole of an apartment, it’s after seven. I’m exhausted and hungry, and the only thing that keeps me sane is talking to Courtney throughout the day. Drew checks in on me every couple of days, and I know he’s worried about me, but I need to prove to him and myself that I’m capable of doing this. I left home at eighteen, graduated college with honors, and now I’m ready for whatever the real world throws at me.

  Courtney: It’s been years since I’ve gotten laid. My vagina is starting to prune.

  The first thing I see when I wake up is a text message from Courtney from the night before. I laugh and send her a text back.

  Viola: It has not been years, and unless you’ve been soaking it in hot water for months, I doubt it’s pruney.

  Surprisingly, she messages me back before I even roll out of bed.

  Courtney: Well, it sure fee
ls like years. At this point, I’d be lucky to even remember how to do it.

  I snort at her dramatics.

  Viola: I don’t know...I bet it’s just like riding a bike. Your vagina’s instincts will kick in and you’ll be dry humping in no time.

  Courtney: No one says dry humping anymore, Lola. Plus, don’t tease me with that shit… you either put out or GTFO.

  Burying my head into my pillow, I laugh, and it feels good.

  Viola: I need to get ready for work. Buy yourself a dildo and get some practice in. Talk later!

  Once I’m half-ready and out the door, I hail a cab and finish my makeup as we swerve around the traffic. Union International is right in the heart of the city, so there are a lot of places within walking distance for lunch or coffee, which is nice.

  I work with four other interns, but only two of us work for Mr. O’Connor. His name is Liam, and he’s from Miami. He’s been super sweet and helpful as I’ve adjusted to everything around the firm.

  “Any big plans for your first official weekend here?” he asks as we step into the elevator.

  “No, not really. Unless you consider FaceTiming my best friend and reading big plans?” I say with an easy laugh.

  “Well, if your big plans fall through, I’m meeting up with some friends for a drink downtown if you feel like joining. Here, I’ll give you my number.” He holds his hand out, waiting for my phone.

  Instinctively, I unlock it and hand it over. I figure it can’t hurt to have a friend around here, especially if I’m going to be here for six months or longer.

  “Awesome, thanks,” I say as he hands it back.

  “I texted myself from your phone, so I have yours too, just in case.”

  I nod, unsure of what to say. I don’t want to assume he’s hitting on me because I have no intentions of hooking up with anyone while I’m here, especially someone from the office. I’ve been thinking about Travis nonstop since I left. I feel guilty for leaving without saying goodbye, but I knew I had to. I knew if I saw him, I would run into his arms and never get on that plane regardless of how hurt I was. I couldn’t let a guy get in the way of my future, not after all the hard work I’ve put in and all the goals I’ve set for myself. Travis will always have my heart, but for now, I need to stay focused on me. If we have anything worth saving, it will be there in six months.