Love As Big As Texas

by Hestand, Rita

  She glanced at him. "I see…" She glanced at him.

  "I had a suspicion that was the case. I almost wish I could have you turn this buggy around and take me back to the stage depot." She sighed heavily. "But…I don't know where I'd go. You see…my husband's parents, they want custody of Jimmy. They could well afford to support him. There's a great chance if this doesn't work out, that I could lose custody of my son, for not being able to support him. That's the reason I'm considering this marriage. The only reason. If I have proof of support, they can't take him away from me."

  "I take it they didn't approve of the boy's father marrying you." Ben asked, then realized he was stepping out of bounds, but his own curiosity got the best of him.

  "No, they didn't. And I'm not at all sure why, except I was much younger than he. However, I'm in a quandary about this man I'm about to marry. I hope I'm not stepping out of one bad marriage into another. I'm not here to make him miserable, or cause him problems. I'm merely trying to keep custody of my son. You see they visited before my husband died, and saw the conditions we were living in. They acted as though it were my fault. But my husband drank the money away." She crumbled the hankie in her hand as she spoke. "The mine he laid claim to, had no value, and unfortunately my father gambled his ranch away, so I have no place to go. I've tried to get a job, but short of a saloon, I've been unsuccessful."

  Ben noticed the way she kept crushing the hankie in her hand, and realized for the first time that this woman had problems she couldn't deal with and for a moment, his heart went out to her. But had she married the man thinking he'd be rich?

  "You aren't anxious to meet the man you are about to marry?" Ben frowned once more.

  "On the contrary, I am very anxious to meet him. However, I would like to sit down and talk with him about this before I talk to his father. I'm not here to cause problems for either of them. It's the other way around. I'm sure he doesn't want to meet me or he would have met us at the stage depot. I'm sure of that now. But…unfortunately, this is my last hope. My husband is dead, his folks want custody of my son, and unless I improve my living arrangements, they will get him. They've already spoken to a lawyer. I can't let that happen. I have no money to fight a lawyer, and no proof of support. If I were married, they wouldn't be able to take him away from me if I am providing a proper home for him. Especially if my husband owns a ranch of such size. You see my dead husband's family has a lot of money, a lot of power. I have none."

  He almost stopped the buggy. He saw raw determination in her face, and that had him concerned for her and the boy. He shouldn't be concerned, he told himself, but the more he heard, the more he sympathized with the woman.

  Deep down he thought maybe his father had exaggerated her situation, but now he knew he hadn't.

  "But you’re his mother, right? They can't take him away from his mother, can they?" Ben studied her beautiful face.

  She swallowed hard, her face paled. "They can if I can't support him. I have no home, no money, and no kin left. So unless I marry, I'm afraid I can't. I think I might die if I lost him, and yet…in some ways I know in my heart, I should step aside. Short of working in some saloon I haven't a lot of choices, and even that would be a reason to take him away from me. My husband left us penniless." She cried, as a real tear fell down her cheek. "I can sew a bit, cook too, but…I'm afraid that's the extent of my talents. I was raised on a cattle ranch, so I know about cows and things, but I can't hire myself on as a ranch hand. Who'd hire a female?"

  "That's rough." Ben acknowledged. "Maybe you and Mr. Wyler's son can work something out between the two of you."

  "I'd be a good wife to him. I'm faithful, loyal, and I can work hard. I'm a very good cook, and I know how to keep a clean house. There is no end to my abilities to keep my son. Plus, I'm familiar with all the goings on of a working ranch. Hard work doesn't bother me. I'd do anything to help him make a success of this ranch. I worked right along side my father for years."

  "And if it doesn't work out, what will you do?"

  "Please don't concern yourself with it. I've said too much. It's just that it's been a long trip, and I'm overwrought with worry."

  "I can see that ma'am."

  When he continued to stare at her she went on. "If Mr. Wyler doesn't want me as his bride, then, I'm going to run away with my son, and try to find something I can make a living at. Perhaps I could become a cook somewhere, in a hotel or something of that nature. But he must understand, I'll do anything to keep my son. I won't let them have him. They raised one son, and didn't do too good a job on him. So, I might have to keep running, but I'll do whatever I have to. I love my son."

  "Don't you have any other folks that could help you?" Ben asked.

  She shook her head. "No…My mother died when I was fairly young, and my grandparents were dead before her. I have no brothers or sisters. I have some kin back in New York, somewhere, but I don't even know their names."

  He looked at her strangely.

  She shrugged. "My father was not on good terms with them. He rarely even spoke of them. Besides, I couldn't burden strangers with myself and a child. I have to work this out, on my own, somehow. I feel bad that I have to thrust myself on the Wyler's, but I've not found any other solutions."

  "So you are gonna marry Ben Wyler, without even knowing him?"

  "Sounds strange doesn't it…believe me, I'm not as calm as I might seem. But the way I see it, an arranged marriage is not much different than a mail-order-bride. If Ben Wyler can stand it, so can I."

  "Well, I thought married folks were supposed to love each other." Ben informed her.

  "That's a convenience, not a necessity. In most cases, that’s true. But if he's willing, I'm willing. And if he'll be good to Jimmy, I'll love him, or grow to." She clutched her hands into fists. She saw the face he made and went on to explain. "I know how to brand a cow, how to milk one too. I'm handy on a ranch, always have been. And…if he wants children, I'll give him some."

  "With a man you don't even know?" Ben tried to sound incredulous.

  She turned her head, to let a tear fall. "Look," she turned to face him, to really look at him. Her facial expression changed, but he couldn't read her. "The way I see it, he needs me to claim his own ranch, and I need him to keep my son. Above everything, I want to keep my son. Nothing is more important than that, and he won't be sorry, I'd be a good wife. I'm faithful, hard working, and healthy. I'd try my best to make him a good wife."

  When it grew quiet she went on the explain. "I'm repeating myself, aren't I." She blushed, bringing color to her pale face.

  He nodded. "I guess you would make a good wife." He saw raw determination in her glance. "Sometimes out here, it takes determination and hard work to make something out of nothing."

  He looked at her hand, and then into those oh so blue eyes. A man could drown in eyes like that!

  She shook her head, and nearly burst into tears. "I don't know why I'm telling you all this. It isn't your problem. But you're easy to talk to, and I needed someone to talk to."

  He frowned and nodded. "No it's not my business, but I'm glad you did, ma'am."

  Chapter Three

  When they arrived at the ranch, a Mexican came up to them he spoke Spanish to Sparky, and after they stepped out of the buggy, he put the buggy in the barn, nodding to the lady.

  Ben gathered her luggage and set them on the steps, then started to walk off.

  "Aren't you coming inside?" She asked when he helped her down, and she turned to get her son.

  He couldn't take his eyes off of her for a long moment. Standing there in the sunlight, with her hair shining like white gold, she was angelic looking.

  "No ma'am, I have work to do. I'll see you later." He tipped his hat as she gathered her son in her arms and walked up the steps. He could easily see the hesitation in her every step, too.

  She turned to look at him, "Thank you for bringing me out."

  "Yes, ma'am." He nodded. He saw how lost she looked standing
there with her son in her arms. Taking a deep breath, she walked up to the door. For a moment, he considered going inside with her, but only a moment. He needed time to think about all she'd told him and exactly what he was going to do and say when he saw her again.

  Even though she did have a sad story, he didn't know if he was ready to give up his independence for it.

  All the while, he walked toward the barn, he felt guilty for not walking her inside, but there was too much to consider right now. He needed time to think about all she had told him and exactly how he felt about it.

  He suddenly understood why his father wanted to help her. But still, marriage…? He could so easily have offered her money.

  Maybe the best thing to do was to show up drunk at the dinner table. What did he care if she ran off with her kid? Something in the back of his head kept refuting the idea. He just wasn't that low. The one thing that made sense to Ben was that she needed to see what he was, and accept him for it, not try to change it. Could she do that?

  No, for the first time in a long time he realized this was a serious matter, and he'd have to give it some thought.

  ~*~

  "Jason Wyler," Gabby reached to shake his hand as the rather rotund Mr. Wyler came toward her the minute she knocked on the door. "You don't look a day older than the last time I saw you."

  Jason smiled at the compliment. "Gabby, you've grown into a beautiful young woman. I wouldn't have known you, except for those angelic eyes of yours. And this must be your son?"

  He saw the child was sleeping on her shoulder, a look of contentment on his face. "Yes, I'm afraid he's quite tuckered from his journey."

  "Helena, can you put this tyke to bed, he's exhausted." Jason asked as Helena served them tea in the generous sized parlor.

  "Si, right away." Helena glanced at the sleeping boy on Gabby's shoulder.

  Gabby handed her son to the woman who smiled and cuddled him as he slept. "He is mucho sweet."

  "All children are sweet when they are asleep." She smiled.

  Gabby barely glanced at her surroundings. She hurriedly took in the beautiful cowhide rug on the floor, the huge rocked in fireplace, the bookshelves full of books and the huge dining room where an equally big table was immaculately set.

  She was so nervous about this union, her hands were shaking and she couldn't admire it all.

  Helena took the boy up to a bedroom. She turned to watch her.

  "How was your trip?" Jason asked as he puffed on his pipe and settled back in a big leather chair.

  "Very long, hot, and dusty. But there were no problems along the way." She smiled.

  "You must be worn out." Jason surmised with a glance.

  "I am tired. However, I do want to take this opportunity to talk with you. I was sort of hoping your son would meet me at the stage depot, I wanted to talk to him too." Gabby was saying. "But maybe it's just as well…"

  "My son? But you did meet him. He met you at the stage and brought you out here. I saw him in the buggy with you just now." Jason grumbled slowly standing and staring out the window. "He didn't introduce himself?"

  "Oh no…" her words faded. Dear God, had she been riding with Ben Wyler all the time? Why hadn't he said something? She felt her cheeks flame with embarrassment. "That was your son?" She gasped. She had a dreadful feeling she was going to be leaving almost as fast as she got here.

  "Why yes. I'm sorry…that was very rude of him not to introduce himself." Jason frowned at her.

  "Not exactly, I don't know why, I just assumed he was a ranch hand. It certainly wasn't his fault." Gabby laid her hand on her chest and tried not to look at Mr. Wyler with astonishment.

  "He should have told you. That isn't very fair, but I did explain about him in my letters to you." Mr. Wyler tried to recover from his son's lack of manners.

  "It was my fault I shouldn't have assumed anything." Gabby felt at such a loss. She'd been immediately attracted to the man, and tried her best not to show it. But the strangest thing was that when she looked into his eyes, she felt she could almost touch his soul, as though she somehow knew him. When she thought of him as a ranch hand, she liked him. However, when she thought of him as Ben Wyler, she wasn't sure. He hadn't exactly lied about anything, but…

  Obviously, she was mistaken. He had been sizing her up all along. Trying to decide no doubt if she was the gold digger she spoke of. She felt an unease creeping up her back. Perhaps it was a big mistake to come here. Sparky had her at a disadvantage. Sparky, where in the world did he come up with such a name?

  She stood almost paralyzed in front of Mr. Wyler, not sure what to say about the whole thing.

  "I don't know what to say, Mr. Wyler. I don't think your son wants a wife though." Gabby sat down on the chair's edge. "Why else would he not introduce himself?"

  "I'm not concerned whether he wants one or not, Gabrielle. He needs settling down, and a wife can usually do that to a man without a lot of effort. What you'll get in return is a home for the rest of your life, if you want it. I know you need this badly. And my son needs someone to care about, someone to love, if you will. Despite how it might look to you, Ben is a sensitive man. He just doesn't realize it yet. But he will." Mr. Wyler promised. "I did raise him right, he has better manners, but, the truth is he just didn't accept the death of his mother and sister."

  "I knew I'd have a few problems to deal with, but to force him to marry…seems rather extreme." Gabby defended him for no reason at all. "I sympathize with him over his kinfolks. Death is a hard thing to accept sometimes."

  "Let me explain what is bothering my son, and perhaps you might rethink him. A few months back, we had an epidemic of small pox. Unfortunately, it killed my wife and daughter as it did your father. It killed them quickly, within a week they were dead. Ben took it hard. He couldn't believe that inside one week, they were dead. We weren't the only ones it affected either. The whole town suffered. Because someone in this family had to pick up the pieces and go on, which I did, he couldn't understand how I could do so. But I come from a long line of hard nosed business men, men who cut a trail out west and endured all the dangers and death a body could stand, to carve out a piece of land of their own and work it. That's what I've continued to do. But Ben...is still struggling with their deaths. He can't let go. I thought another woman in the house might make the difference. A woman who would cook and clean and help with an occasional problem on the ranch might wake him up to the fact that life goes on."

  "Yes," she nodded. "I can understand that. But even your son, has a right to decide who he wants to share his life with."

  "You went on, didn't you?" He asked gently. "When your father died. That's something the two of you have in common. Losing someone you love is very hard, but not only did you lose your father, but your husband too."

  "I had no choice but to go on. But I don't want to garner sympathy; I did not love my husband by the time he died. So his death was no shock to me." She saw something in his eyes, but continued. "So it was easy to go on. Except for my son. He loved him. But he's young and he can adapt. My father, I miss terribly, but I hadn't seen him in a long time, so it wasn't as hard to get over as your situation, I’m sure." She explained. "I am glad you told me the reason for his behavior, it makes me understand so much. But…forcing him to marry…."

  "Oh I'm not forcing him. He can ride out of here and do what he wants to do. He's a grown man. However, this land won't belong to him any longer, if he does, and he knows that. When I die, the land will go to you, if you stay and help me keep it going. The only thing is, he has to marry you first, if he refuses to do even that, then I'm afraid I'll have to marry you instead. Because living here under the same roof with just me, well, it would look rather bad for you. Therefore, I would insist on marriage no matter what. Unless you decide otherwise."

  For a second it was deathly quiet. Gabby meant no disrespect, but she could not agree to this. "Mr. Wyler," Gabby looked him straight in the eyes. "I think coming here might have been a mistake.
I didn't realize your son was so opposed to marrying. And I'm afraid the difference in our ages, yours and mine, is too great to even consider a marriage. Marriage is sacred, and once I take a vow, I aim to keep it. I married one man that was too old for me; I don't want to repeat that mistake."

  "Of course. I've made the stipulation of marriage to protect your good name. Otherwise, people might talk, and for the child's sake, I wouldn't want that. Now…the other consideration is that if you marry, my son, or me and don't have…shall we say relations with each other. If the two of you talk it over and that's how you want it, then, that's how it should be. The marriage can be worked out, between the two of you. Or us. Once you are married, it will be none of my business how you handle it. But marriage would secure you to this place, and give your child a name to be proud of, and protect you from those in-laws that want custody of your child. I'm thinking of you, before my son, because your needs are frankly more important right now." He told her as he paced in front of the huge fireplace. "But I assure you, if my son does not honor the offer of marriage, I would gladly step up and into his place to protect you and your son. And the same conditions would apply to our marriage if it should come to that. Perhaps a marriage in name only."

  Gabby stared at him for a long moment. "That is a grand gesture on your part, sir." She blinked hard, realizing what the man was offering her. "But…I would have to consider that proposal, you see, marriage vows are very sacred to me, and I do not intend to enter into it with foreboding. Not again. My late husband was much older than myself and in time I came to realize too much older."

  "Of course, you could stay here until you decide. Of course you must see that this would completely solve your problem in keeping the boy."