Love As Big As Texas

by Hestand, Rita

  "Yes, it would, and it would also complicate other's lives. I have to consider that, too. No matter, it's gracious of you, Mr. Wyler."

  "You may call me Jason." He affirmed smiling at her.

  Gabby had an uneasy feeling about this union. She could see herself married to his son, but to him. That seemed somehow wrong. He was old enough to be her father. And according to his letters, his wife had only died recently. Even protecting her own reputation, it could easily ruin his.

  "I will call you Mr. Wyler, sir. And if your son is not interested then…I shall move on." Gabby insisted.

  Jason frowned. "You're tired. You should rest before dinner. Helena will show you a room."

  "Thank you." She smiled at him and put her hand on his arm. "You've been very kind."

  Helena showed her to the same room where her son was sleeping. She glanced at her but said nothing.

  "Excuse me, Helena, is it?" Gabby asked.

  "Yes ma'am." Helena turned to look at her.

  "Didn't Mrs. Wyler only die a short time ago?"

  Helena's eyes fell to the floor, her cheeks reddened. "Yes ma'am."

  Gabby grabbed her stomach, finding the proposal inappropriate. She rubbed her hands together.

  "Is something wrong, Miss?"

  Gabby looked up into her face, and saw some strange understanding growing. "If the younger Mr. Wyler doesn't approve of a marriage between us, then I must leave here at once."

  Helena smiled sadly at her. "The young Mr. Wyler is a good man. He's been a little wild and rebellious since his mother and sister's death, but he is a fair man. I believe he will honor the marriage."

  "Have you known him long?" Gabby asked.

  "Most of his life, si." She smiled.

  "I pray he does…for my son's sake."

  "I will pray also…" Helena smiled at her and glanced at the sleeping child.

  "Thank you…"

  Gabby paced the room after she left. She hadn't planned on the elder Mr. Wyler being so insistent, or the younger one being so resistant to a marriage.

  This would never do. Why had she come here? Had she thought this the instant fix for her problems?

  It had been her last hope that was why!

  A tear slipped down her cheek. What had she gotten herself into? She couldn't possibly marry the senior Mr. Wyler. If his son refused, then she would leave this very day. But where she would go, and what she would do, was beyond comprehension.

  She lay across the bed, next to her son, and kissed him on the cheek. He sighed. She smiled.

  Her eyes closed and she went to sleep.

  Helena knocked on her door late that evening. "Dinner is ready…"

  "Thank you Helena…" Gabby smiled when she answered the door.

  Waking her son, she washed his face, and combed his hair, then tidied herself and went downstairs, with a prayer on her lips.

  Chapter Four

  Both Wyler men stood at the table when she came down the stairs with her son in hand.

  Ben sat at the table, he hadn't bothered to clean up, he had lipstick on his collar and he was drunk again. His father had been reprimanding his bad behavior ever since he walked through the door. She had heard some of it, as she came down the stairs.

  Ben had been over to the Hodges ranch. It seemed Mrs. Hodges liked him a little more than she should. She was just what he needed to discourage this woman from marriage. He was sure of it, from the look on her face when she saw the lipstick.

  In seconds, Gabby gauged his condition and the lipstick. She tried to ignore it.

  Gabby glanced from one to the other, and then squeezed Jimmy's hand.

  She motioned for her son to sit beside her and scooted him up to the chair. Ben held her chair and scooted her closer to the table. She got a faint whiff of whiskey when he bent close, and she was close enough to feel the stubble on his cheek before he rose up. She got a good look at his thick dark brown hair, and warm whiskey colored eyes. Handsome didn't quite describe him; he was virile, even as a drunk. He had a ruggedness about him that was very appealing.

  There was an exaggerated silence for a few moments, and then Mr. Wyler cleared his throat.

  Ben glanced from his father to her. "I'm sorry for not introducing myself right away…forgive my ill manners." Ben's manner of apology was not heartfelt and she barely acknowledged it. The careless way he sat at the table and the dizzying glances he sent her made her uneasy.

  She seemed to grasp his attitude.

  Ben looked apprehensive, as though waiting for her outrage.

  Helena stared at them as she served them generous steaks. Helena's scornful glanced was aimed at Ben and Jason both.

  The apology lacked sincerity, as she was sure he was forced to make it. Gabby nodded curtly.

  As Mr. Wyler passed her the mashed potatoes, she put some on her son's plate, then on hers.

  Gabby glanced at Ben. "I'm sure you were sizing me up, no doubt. For which, I can't quite blame you. But you did have the advantage sir."

  "No doubt." His smile was sarcastic as was his manners.

  His father's thin-lipped smile grew hard as he glared at him.

  Apprehension was a like a flickering flame, always there but unspoken. She took a drink of water, and stared at the fine wine that was beside it. "I'm afraid your fine wines are wasted on me, I don't drink."

  "That's alright, I'll drink it." Ben smiled at her.

  His jesting voice had her staring for a moment.

  The two Wyler men sparred silently.

  Ben Wyler was devilishly handsome and he knew it, but that didn't cloud her thinking. He was as unwilling as any shy bride might be. What mattered most was that she'd made a mistake in coming here and she knew it.

  For a few minutes they ate, even though she didn't have food on her mind. Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw Jimmy gorging himself on the food. Her face flushed.

  They had existed on jerky the past few days and real food was too big a temptation for him.

  "Mr. Wyler, Ben, if I may call you that. Perhaps we should get to the heart of the matter. Clear the air so to speak. I don’t wish to seem anxious but I'd feel better getting this all out in the open. Because I sense a lot of tension in this room."

  Jason cleared his throat.

  Ben glared at his father.

  Jimmy was gorging himself and Gabby didn't know how to react to the fact. So much food was a temptation for a boy who had very little. She hoped they would overlook his appetite. Unlike many children, he didn't make comments, but ate his supper and watched. And although he was cleaning his plate, he did not ask for more.

  Ben ran his finger over the top of his wine glass, and put his fork down. "Very well…I'm opposed to marrying a complete stranger whom I know very little about. You wanted it out in the open, there it is. However, I'm opposed to marriage itself. Forgive me, I do see your needs and do respect your position. I'm just not the right man for the job. As you can see, I'm slovenly, lazy, and unkempt. No woman deserves that."

  Gabby disguised her disappointment quickly. She could not afford embarrassment or humiliation. She swallowed hard. So hard, she nearly choked.

  She reached for her water.

  "Point taken Mr. Wyler, and believe it or not, I understand your reluctance, or even your blatant refusal. I am a stranger, with a son. I think we understand each other quite clearly." She began eating again. "No need for explanations."

  Jason Wyler frowned at them both. "You refuse her hand in marriage?"

  "I do, with some reluctance, as she is to my surprise, quite beautiful."

  Gabby's head jerked up at the compliment. She hadn't expected that, and she suspicioned that the drunk was merely an act for her benefit. It was effective.

  Jason's frown was murderous, but he quickly recovered. "Very well, then Gabrielle will marry me…"

  "What?" Ben stood up and threw his napkin in his plate.

  Gabby copied his actions, realizing the implications.

  "I've infor
med Gabrielle that if you refused her, then I would step in and offer her marriage." He announced. "It would be impossible for her to remain here without benefit of marriage. And since you've refused her, I must step in and do my duty.

  "I am not 'your duty', sir." Gabby felt hot tears forming in her eyes, blurring her vision. She couldn't afford embarrassment, but it was there. She thought she had made herself clear on the matter, but either that or Jason was waiting on a reaction from his son. Which he got.

  Jimmy looked from one to the other with confusion.

  "Are you getting married Mama?" he leaned toward her and whispered.

  "Jimmy I'll explain later…" She felt her head swim. She'd had little to eat, and hadn't felt much like eating since she was the subject of their conversation.

  "You aren't serious?" Ben frowned at his father. "Mother's only been dead a few months."

  "I'm well aware of that, but I promised her a husband and a home. She cannot remain here on this land without benefit of marriage that would be scandalous. So, I'll marry her. And it will be no imposition for me…"

  Despite all her reservations, she admired the Senior Mr. Wyler for boldly stepping up, but it was quite impossible.

  Helena came to bring the bread and shot them all a strange look.

  "You haven't finished your steak." Helena's eyes pierced Ben.

  Ben frowned at her and then his father.

  "Well then you just go ahead and marry her, I'll be out of here before bedtime." Ben stormed out of the room, slamming the front door behind him. "I want no part of this!" he muttered mutinously as he glanced over his shoulder.

  He was fuming. How could his father do such a thing, to her or to him? Funny, but he walked perfectly straight. He wasn't drunk, and in a way it struck her as funny that he was trying so hard to dissuade her.

  He stomped into the barn and started throwing things around, wondering where he put his last bottle. His father had finally driven him to drink.

  "Are you going for a ride, now?"

  "Yeah, a long one. I'm leaving, Pedro…"

  "For good?" Pedro looked worried.

  "Si…for good. I got a married woman wants to bed me, and an unmarried woman who want to wed me. And I want neither."

  "You leave the pretty lady with your father?" Even Pedro sounded disbelieving.

  "Sure, why not. She came here for a husband, well…she's getting one." Ben fumed. "My father!"

  "But it is you that should marry."

  "It's already settled Pedro. My father will step up in my place." Ben answered pulling too tight on the cinch. "He doesn't need me! He never has!"

  "You are wrong, about her and him. She is mucho beautiful." Pedro smiled.

  "Si…" Ben glanced at Pedro and saw the worry wrinkle in his forehead. "She sure is. And leave it to my father to notice."

  ~*~

  "I'm sorry Mr. Wyler…" Gabby began as Helena came to take Jimmy to see the family dog, just in time. "I cannot marry you or your son. Coming here was a big mistake. One I won't repeat. I'll leave tonight. You've been a most gracious host."

  "I thought at least he'd think it over." Jason flopped back in his chair, almost ignoring her.

  "Mr. Wyler…" Gabby finally raised her voice, trying to calm her building temper. "I came here under the assumption that he and I would wed, but since he doesn't wish that. I plan on leaving….tonight." She announced boldly. "And I appreciate your grand offer to step up, but I cannot accept. I think you are a wonderful man, Mr. Wyler with the best of intentions, but I just can't do it again…"

  "Leaving…but you can't!" He protested.

  "I'm afraid I must. I've had one bad marriage Mr. Wyler, I don’t want another. I had every intention of being the best of wives…but under the circumstances…"

  "Of course, but—"

  "Please, I appreciate your trying to make amends, more than you will ever know, but I will be leaving. The meal was very good, Helena, thank you." She declared when they returned to the table and gathered her son to her.

  "Mama, they got a dog, named Butch."

  "That’s nice." Gabby managed.

  She glanced at Mr. Wyler and took her son's hand.

  She was trembling from the scene she had helped to create. She didn't blame Ben Wyler a bit. He was right, she was a stranger. At least he'd been honest with her, and she respected him for that.

  He hadn't been honest about being drunk, but under the circumstances, she understood why he did it. He was trying to scare her away.

  But she wouldn't marry the elder Mr. Wyler, there was too much age difference and it would make her nothing short of a gold digger to accept, if she had wanted to.

  She looked at Jimmy as they entered the bedroom.

  "Are you crying, Mama?" He asked as she looked at him.

  "Just a little. We must pack up and get out of here, tonight, Jimmy." She told him. "It was a mistake coming here."

  "But…I like it here." Jimmy squeezed her hand.

  "I'm sorry. We must. So, let's gather our things and then we'll see about a horse."

  Helena came in and stared at her. She saw her packing her things in the small valise. She too stared at the valise…with sadness. "I am sorry, that went badly for you, didn't it?"

  "Very. I'm sorry I came here at all." Gabby shook her head. "I don't belong here. I should have realized."

  "I too am sorry, not that you came, but that young Ben refused you. He was raised better than that, but don't take it personal. It has nothing to do with you."

  Gabby looked at her with surprise. "He had every right to refuse me. I am a stranger to him. I don't blame him! However, I won't marry the elder Mr. Wyler either. I won't marry wrong again intentionally!"

  Helena's cheeks flushed. "You have many troubles?"

  "A few, but I'll handle them somehow. I've got a little pride left…"

  "Pride can be a good thing or a bad. To look at you, I can see it is a bad thing. You are so thin, both of you. You do not eat right. Your eyes are full of sadness. I so wish I could help. Today, I think it was a bad thing for both you and Ben." She smiled again sadly. "The Wyler's are both good men, but…it would be hard for you to see it. I wish I could help."

  "Try impossible!" Gabby shook her head. "It's not their fault, it's mine. I should never have come here. I don't know what I was thinking…Out of desperation I presumed too much."

  "Arranged marriages have been going on for centuries." Helena stared at her.

  "Yes, I guess so. Perhaps they work out better in your country. I'll be leaving. Is there a horse I could borrow to ride into town on? I could leave him at the livery for Mr. Wyler to pick up later."

  "Si, tell Pedro…he will fetch you one. Won't you stay long enough to think it over, see Ben in a better light?"

  "I saw him in the light he wanted me to see him in. Thank you Helena, you've been very kind…"

  "I do wish you would stay a little longer. One day is not long enough to settle such a thing…" Helena suggested.

  "No, it's best we leave now. Ben was very honest, and I appreciate that honesty. I respect that. Please tell him after I leave. And thank you, for understanding…"

  Helena turned to go. "You and Ben would have made some beautiful children."

  "It just wasn't meant to be…" Gabby replied.

  Taking Jimmy by the hand, she slipped down the stairs unnoticed. She heard Helena scolding the elder Mr. Wyler as she was closing the front door behind her.

  "Mommy, why we gotta go…They have horses and dogs and all kinds of good things here and the food is so good, Mama."

  Knowing she had nearly starved her son, brought a new worry. "I know darling, but we must. Everything will be alright."

  At the barn, she found Pedro. "Hello, I was wondering if I could have a horse to ride into town on. I could leave him at the livery…" Gabby was asking him, trying to not look too flustered.

  "You leave…already?" Pedro frowned, his glance sliding to the boy.

  "Yes, I'm afraid s
o. It was a mistake to come here. Perhaps with me gone, they can mend their differences."

  Pedro looked off into another stall. Pedro nodded. "I will get the buggy for you. You can leave it at the livery and I will fetch it home tomorrow then…but…"

  "Please hurry…" Gabby looked over her shoulder at the house. She didn't want to argue with Jason Wyler. He was much too controlling for her liking and she didn't care to do battle with him.

  "Si…."

  Pedro left and Ben came around from a darkened stall and looked at her and the boy. "You're leaving?"

  She couldn't miss the shock in his voice.

  Gabby felt so embarrassed, seeing him. "Yes, yes we are…"

  "But you just got here. Where will you go?" Ben asked studying her, as though he had all the time in the world do to so.

  "Mr. Wyler…it's really none of your business." She felt hysteria creeping up on her. "I don't mean to be rude, but…under the circumstances, its best this way. I should never have come."

  "You're right, it isn't my business…" he moved as Pedro brought the buggy. Pedro shot him a mutinous glance then left.

  She picked up her small valise and put it in the back of the buggy, and then she helped Jimmy up into the seat.

  Something about that small valise, carrying all her worldly possessions pulled at Ben as he watched her. A woman with a small valise for two people…

  "What about you and dad?"

  "Mr. Wyler," She turned to look him in the eye now, her frustration and anger festering. "I made one mistake in my life that I'm not proud of. I don't intend making another. Your father is a nice man, with good intentions, but I cannot marry him, and that should be obvious." She started to climb into the seat. "Your father is too old, and I doubt I'd make him a good wife, anymore than he would me a husband."

  "Wait…we should talk this over." He insisted. "You mean you weren't aware of his plans to wed you himself?"

  "Of course I wasn't. But…" She cast him a quick glance. "Don't be too hard on him; he was merely thinking of my reputation. I respect that, but I just can't bring myself to do such a thing, knowing it would never work. There's nothing to talk over, Mr. Wyler. You made yourself very clear, in more ways than one, and now I'm doing the same. Good day to you…"