Journal of a Lifetime (Journals of Love)

by Wolfe, Lisa M.

  The mood on the bus was quiet as if the passengers could feel the tension between the three of them. Usually the passengers chatted and asked Steve questions, but after the lake, they all seemed lost in their own thoughts. Maybe it was the calm from the lake, or the tension they felt, but it was unsettling and disrupted the rhythm they had all fallen into.

  Steve and Lindsey usually sat with their knees touching, but after the challenging emotional events of the morning, that small intimacy had disappeared. The two faced away from each other. Lindsey looked out the window to the left of her, and Steve looked out the front window, as if in preparation for the next events to come.

  Thirteen

  THE PASSENGERS ARRIVED at the Hoo Doos with their instructions that they were allowed thirty minutes to walk around and take photographs before Don and Steve served lunch.

  Lindsey was thankful the men were busy, and she could have some time for herself. She had been warned not to touch the formations, so she took a lot of pictures instead. The feeling near the rocks was one of strength and adaptation at the same time. She knew the land shifts here happened so gradually that one would hardly be able to see them over the years, but there were definitely changes, mostly on the surface that didn’t affect the foundation. She wondered if that was life, or if life was in the reverse. Did most changes happen internally without affecting the outward appearance? Or did the aging process of wrinkles and gray hair not change the youthful person within?

  In her Nana’s case, she believed it was the latter. She knew Nana felt young and vibrant until near the end. Lindsey prayed that she would be as fortunate to live a full life as her Nana had done.

  She looked toward Steve where he was setting up the food. He noticed her and waved. She waved back and continued on to find a quieter place for her current reflective mood.

  This was what she had wanted from this trip: to gain perspective on life and death. She hadn’t counted on learning about love, though, and couldn’t help but wonder if Steve was the one to discover things with.

  She hesitated out of fear of losing another person who was important to her. She was reluctant to allow herself to feel more than friendship toward Steve, because then she was vulnerable to the pain and heartbreak that could result.

  Control was difficult for her to give up, and her emotions felt out of control where Steve was concerned.

  Lindsey found a large, flat, gray rock to sit on and set her bag down behind her to use as a pillow. She laid back and, as she always did when she felt overwhelmed, began to pray. The sun felt warm against her cheeks as if God were surrounding her with his love. She was comfortable and didn’t want to move too much, so she reached under her head and retrieved her Bible from her bag.

  The verse she opened to was one of her favorites, Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

  It instantly gave her a lighter feeling. She didn’t like the melancholy that was following her the past day, and the verse reminded her that her path was already laid out before her by God. She needn’t worry about a thing.

  After five minutes, she stood up to take a few more photos and walked back to the picnic area.

  “Can I help with anything?” she asked Steve.

  “I think we’re all set here. Would you like to sit down and get started?”

  She opened the sack lunch to find a vegetable sandwich on whole wheat. She looked up at Steve.

  “I remembered,” was all he said, but those two words spoke directly to her heart.

  “Thank you,” she whispered.

  The other travelers began to filter in and the conversation at the tables centered around the power of the Hoo Doos.

  “It’s amazing to me how just these structures have weathered years of rain, wind, snow, and sun,” said an older gentleman.

  “It’s another testament to God’s power and wonder,” Steve said. “Sometimes I question when others do not believe in God. For me, when I see mountains, lakes, waterfalls, even trees, I know deep in my heart that He created everything.”

  A middle-aged man sitting next to Steve fidgeted in his seat. “How do you know for sure?” he said quietly.

  Steve looked the man in his eyes and nodded his head. “It feels right to me. You know that feeling you get when something isn’t right? Your stomach knots up and you feel apprehensive? That never happened to me with my faith.” Steve placed his hand on his chest. “I’ve always felt in here,” he tapped his chest, “that God exists.”

  The man looked away.

  Steve sighed. He understood. “God reaches each of us in a different way.” He put his hand on the man’s shoulder and lowered his voice, confidentially. “If you’d like to talk later, let me know.”

  Lindsey was surprised that Steve referred to God in front of the group, but his faith was obviously a natural extension of him, showing up in all the ways he conducted himself.

  The picnic satisfied them all and the return drive to the resort was quiet.

  “Mount Rundle is a popular climb for hikers and climbers alike,” Steve said over the microphone. “We’re also blessed to have the Cascade River flowing through here.”

  Don was not into his usual banter with Steve, and his eyes didn’t penetrate Lindsey’s through the mirror this time.

  “Tonight is a free night. You’ll be able to head into Banff for dinner, take a hike or tour, or just relax in the resort for a while. Tomorrow we’ll need you to be in the lobby and ready to leave at a quarter to eight. Thank you again ladies and gentlemen for choosing us as your guides for your stay. We’ll see you in the morning!”

  Lindsey waited again until the other passengers left before she got off the bus. Steve was waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs.

  Nana’s journal had an odd entry in it, and she wanted to ask Steve if he could help her check it out. “I need to go to Avalanche Videos tonight,” she began. “Do you think you could take me?”

  He laughed. “I think I could do that. May I ask what this is about?”

  “I’m not sure, and I know that sounds strange, but would you just trust me and take me anyway?” she asked ramping up the sweetness in her voice.

  He smiled at her attempt to win him over. Little did she know she had already succeeded.

  “I have a few errands to run, so can we meet in the lobby in an hour?” he asked.

  “Perfect,” she said. She found herself kissing his cheek. Neither of them knew where that came from, and it left them silent.

  Before Steve could say anything, Lindsey turned and skipped away.

  Steve ran his fingers through his hair, a habit that he’d had since he was a young boy. It was a nervous habit and didn’t happen a lot. He usually felt comfortable to go with the flow. His trust in the Lord was greater than ever, and he didn’t doubt that God’s favor was upon him.

  But Lindsey had thrown a little wrench into the mix. He didn’t understand his interest in someone who he would probably never see again. He wondered why God would place her in his path, but trusted that there was a reason.

  He left the hotel to do some quick grocery shopping, stopped at the post office and bank and then went home to change clothes.

  When he returned to the resort, Lindsey was just coming down the stairs. She had changed into flattering, dark blue jeans and a pink flowing blouse that complimented her skin tone. She appeared to him to float down the stairs, and he resisted the urge to run to her and ask her to go away with him.

  Lindsey spotted Steve staring at her. He looked very handsome in his carpenter jeans and snug shirt. She hadn’t been able to see his physique underneath his work polo, but his dark gray shirt was much more revealing.

  “Hi,” she said as she descended the last step.

  “Good afternoon,” he said as he did one of his mock bows in front of her. “Is my lady ready for her escort to the extremely exotic house of videos? Of all the places where we
could go tonight, I really believe this will leave a permanent impression on your memory,” he teased.

  She slugged him in the shoulder. “Hush,” she joked back. “I know this sounds crazy and later, I promise to tell you more. Can we please just leave?” she pleaded.

  “Does my lady want to walk, or ride in her chariot tonight?” He couldn’t drop the act and felt much more comfortable in character.

  Lindsey played along. “I say, I’d prefer a walk on this cool evening, sir. Lead the way.”

  He placed his hand on her elbow once again. She would have been upset if he hadn’t. She was getting used to that feeling of gently being guided. She didn’t feel pushed, or rushed, just guided along by very capable hands.

  “This is going to be tough when we return, though,” Lindsey stated. The resort was uphill from the town, so their walk was an easy one on the way.

  “If necessary, my lady, I will carry you to the top of the highest mountain!”

  She smiled. “So, you have normal clothes?” she asked in an attempt to change the conversation.

  “I do. I know it appears that I’m always working, but I usually work only three, sometimes four days a week. That leaves plenty of time for other activities … and clothes.”

  Lindsey hadn’t known someone so casual about working. “That’s great that you can do what you like and have time for a life,” she said.

  “I don’t think I could have it any other way. After I graduated from college with a degree in business, I worked at a bank in one of those high-rises in Calgary. That lasted three months.”

  “Really?” she asked, surprised.

  “I know. I look like I would fit into the corporate world with ease, but I am a country boy at heart and suffered from the artificial air, fluorescent lights, and greed that I had to deal with every day.”

  Lindsey remained silent.

  “I knew I needed to be back here with my feet on the ground and the sun on my face. I talked with my father and he asked me to come into the business with him, so I’m able to use my knowledge and my other talents to provide top of the line tours for all you travelers,” he teased.

  “Well, I’m glad that you’re here, otherwise we wouldn’t have met.”

  “About that … ” He stopped walking. “Am I alone in this, or do you feel a certain connection, chemistry—whatever you want to call it—happening here?”

  Lindsey was impressed by his honesty. “I do. I want to continue to get to know you and spend more time with you … I know that much.”

  Steve appreciated her sincerity. He had wanted more, but would take what she offered. He bit his lip and decided to ask the question. “May I … hold your hand?”

  Instead of answering, she placed her left hand in his. They continued their walk down the mountain.

  “Here you go,” Steve said as he opened the door to the video store for her.

  “Steve!” shouted the man behind the counter. “What a pleasant surprise.”

  “Hi Grandpa,” Steve said and walked over to hug the tall, gray-haired man.

  Lindsey stood there, surprised.

  “Grandpa, I’d like you to meet Lindsey Waters,” Steve said. “Lindsey, this is Steve Senior.”

  “It’s nice to meet you Lindsey,” the man said as he held out his hand.

  “It’s my pleasure.” Lindsey’s tone showed her surprise, but she shook his hand. “Why didn’t you tell me this was your grandfather’s place?” she asked Steve under her breath.

  Grandfather looked at the two of them and laughed. “How long have you known each other?” he asked.

  “We just met yesterday,” Steve admitted. “But, we already fight like an old married couple.”

  “Where are you from?” Grandfather asked Lindsey.

  “I’m from Michigan. Just here to do a little site-seeing.”

  Lindsey noticed Steve senior’s back straighten up.

  “Oh really? What part of Michigan?”

  “Outside of Detroit. It’s a small town called Canton. Most people have never heard of it.”

  He seemed to sober. “I have,” he said quietly, and turned to head back behind the counter.

  Steve and Lindsey cocked their heads at each other and squinted their eyes, as if to say ‘what’s going on?’ Lindsey’s hand instantly reached for her cross.

  Steve walked over to the counter. “Are you okay Grandpa?”

  “I’m fine. I just had some memories come back to me.” Steve senior began to pace behind the counter. “I, uh, once knew a woman from there and haven’t met anyone else from there since.” He paused. “We don’t get a lot of tourists coming in to rent videos. They have many more things to keep them busy.”

  He took a deep breath, looked at Lindsey and then quickly looked away. “So, have you enjoyed your vacation so far?” His eyes focused on the wall behind her.

  Lindsey smiled and leaned sideways toward him. “Very much.”

  She finally caught his eye and watched his gaze travel to the cross in her hands. He suddenly went all white.

  “Is that … ?”

  Before they knew what happened, he collapsed on the floor in a dead faint.

  “Oh my goodness!” Lindsey rushed behind the counter towards him.

  Steve didn’t waste any time calling for the ambulance.

  “Steve. Steve! Grandpa, wake up.” Lindsey gently shook the old man’s shoulders. When he didn’t respond, she checked his pulse and his breathing. Both were fine and she was thankful for the CPR class that her boss had her take years before.

  Steve passed along the information to the emergency provider on the phone.

  “They’ll be here in five minutes,” he said and dropped down next to Grandpa’s side. “I don’t know what happened. I’ve never seen him faint before.”

  “I’m sure he’ll be okay,” Lindsey attempted to comfort him.

  They continued to call to him and gently nudge his shoulders. Lindsey smoothed his full head of gray hair away from his forehead.

  He woke up just as the ambulance arrived. “Adele?” he whispered.

  “Don’t try to sit up, Grandpa.” Steve kept a hand on Grandpa’s chest.

  “What happened?”

  “We don’t know, Grandpa. You were talking to Lindsey and you just fainted and fell down. We want the doctor to check you out.”

  The EMTs came in and took Grandpa away on a gurney. Lindsey walked outside once she knew he was in safe hands. She was rattled. Why had he said her grandmother’s name? Surely it was a coincidence.

  Steve finally walked out next to her.

  “Did you hear what your grandfather said when he woke?” she asked him.

  “No. Not really. Did you?”

  “It sounded like he said ‘Adele.’ Is that anyone in your family?”

  Steve shook his head. “I don’t think so. I’ve never heard of anyone with that name.”

  “Steve! Could you come here for a minute?” the paramedic called out. Steve left Lindsey and walked to the front of the ambulance.

  She took that moment to check on Grandpa in the ambulance. “How are you feeling?”

  “I’m a little embarrassed,” he admitted. “What a first impression to make on someone who obviously means a lot to my grandson.”

  “Please, don’t worry about it. I just wanted to make sure you were ok?”

  “Will you come in here, please?” He motioned for Lindsey to join him, so she climbed in.

  “Will you show me that cross on your neck?”

  This was getting very strange. Lindsey lifted the cross into her fingers and leaned in closer. “How’s this?” she asked.

  Steve Senior reached out and touched the cross. He swallowed the lump in his throat, and moved his hand from the cross to her hands. “Lindsey,” he said. “I knew Adele. Very well.”

  Lindsey swallowed, her heart suddenly beating faster. It couldn’t be …

  “I’m the one who gave her that cross.”

  She jumped up, bumped her
head and released herself from his hands. “That’s not possible!” she argued, rubbing the back of her head with her hand.

  “I understand your resistance, but why would I lie? And, how would I know your grandmother’s name?”

  Lindsey knew he was telling the truth. This whole trip had been a maze of emotion and confusion for her and nothing was going to surprise her at this point.

  Steve Senior was quiet. “I’m sorry she’s gone, Lindsey … ”

  Lindsey blinked furiously, trying to keep the tears of anger and sadness from overwhelming her. How did he know that?

  Unfortunately, the medical professionals returned just then to take Grandpa to the hospital for observation. Steve climbed into the ambulance with them.

  “I need to go with him, Lindsey,” Steve told her. “I’m so sorry. I wanted to take you to dinner tonight, but—”

  “Oh my. Don’t give it a second thought,” she shrugged it off. “Maybe I could meet you at the hospital for some delicious cafeteria dinner?”

  “You’d do that?”

  She nodded. “I will.” She leaned in to kiss his cheek again. “I’ll be there soon. You just take care of your grandfather, ok?” She hopped out and turned around to watch them leave.

  Steve didn’t get a chance to respond. The doors closed and the ambulance pulled away. He was left staring out the window at a woman he knew he had fallen in love with.

  “She’s something special, isn’t she?” Grandfather’s voice was gentle.

  Steve’s was a whisper. “I think she is.”

  Fourteen

  AFTER THE MEN left, Lindsey did what she could to shut down the video store. She turned off the lights and the “Open” neon sign. She turned on the alarm, but didn’t have the keys, so she couldn’t lock the doors. When she called the police, they assured her that they would call the family and have someone lock up.

  It only took her a minute to find a taxi, and she got to the hospital within the hour. When she asked at the information desk what room Steve senior was in, he hadn’t been taken up to a room yet. Knowing that she had some free time, she went back outside and used her cell phone to check in with her mother.

  “Hi Lindsey!” her mother practically shouted into the phone. “How are things going? Are you okay? Is the weather cooperating?”