Keepin' The Faith

by Beth Rinyu

  ***

  After going into the bedroom for round two, I lay in Gabe’s arms, totally satisfied and thoroughly spent. The rain was beating against the window as thunder rumbled in the distance. While my body was still reveling in its pleasurable state, my mind was going at warp speed. In just these past two days, my feelings for him had escalated to levels they shouldn’t be at. I wanted to be more than just friends with benefits, and tonight it felt as if we had surpassed that title…at least to me it did. I wanted so badly to bare my soul to him, but I knew if I did it would put everything we had together, including my job, in jeopardy. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could handle keeping this from everyone like we were doing something wrong. Every day I was starting to feel more and more like I was having an affair with a married man. And in a strange way, I was. He was married to his company. That was first and foremost in his life, and something I knew I’d never be able to compete with.

  I propped my elbow on the mattress and rested my head in the palm of my hand, catching a glimpse of his silhouette with each flash of lightning in the night sky. “Tell me about her,” I asked, wanting to know what she had that I didn’t.

  “Who?”

  I sensed unease in his voice. “The girl who was lucky enough to win you over then foolish enough to let you walk away.”

  “It’s a long story.”

  “I’ve got lots of time.” I moved my head back to his chest, planting a tiny kiss upon it.

  He breathed out in frustration. “We met in college. Got engaged a few years after graduation and then she cheated on me.”

  He was the complete package. Why on earth would anyone cheat on him?

  “Oh, wow. I’m sorry.”

  “It was for the best,” he responded as he nervously traced his fingers up and down my back. “I was so into my job, and I kind of put our relationship on the backburner. While she was making wedding plans, I was busy making business deals. We were just going in two different directions…and he took advantage of the opportunity and sucked her in.”

  “Who?”

  “Max Reily.” His words were laced with pure contempt.

  I lifted my head once again. “Wait? Max…the guy who’s friends with Chad?”

  “Yup, that would be the same asshole.”

  I suddenly disliked that man even more. “Wow! What a jerk!”

  “Yeah, that he is, but I was partially to blame for that.”

  “I don’t think so. To me there’s no justification for cheating. If she was unhappy in the relationship, then she should have just had the guts to end it. That’s just my opinion…not that it matters.” I could only imagine how beautiful she must have been. The girl who didn’t have to hide her relationship with him from everyone. The girl who was lucky enough to get a forever commitment from him. I was jealous just thinking about her. I choked back a tear, knowing I’d never have any of that. I was setting myself up for major heartbreak.

  “Your opinion matters to me, Faith.”

  I sucked in a deep breath, thankful for the darkness so he couldn’t see me crying. But when he pulled me closer and a teardrop fell upon his chest, I knew the jig was up.

  “Hey, what’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Then why are you crying?”

  “I-I don’t know. I just don’t like hearing about people getting cheated on. Guess it kinda hits close to home,” I lied.

  “It’s all good. That’s why I’ll never set myself up for that to happen again, by being in a serious relationship.”

  I went from wallowing in my self-pity to drowning in it, and at any time I knew I could grab the life raft and save myself. But when he wrapped his strong muscular arms around me and pulled me closer, I made the conscious decision to continue treading water and hope I didn’t go under.

  Chapter 32

  Faith

  It had been a week and a half since Gabe and I returned from our trip, and we were back to the same old routine. We had an employee/boss relationship from nine to five and acted like a real couple beyond those hours. I should have been happy we were getting closer, but I wasn’t. The more time we spent together the angrier I was becoming at myself for falling for him further and allowing my daughter to take the fall as well. I held it all in because I didn’t want to face the alternative of losing him forever, but as I stood trapped in the ladies’ room stall while two of my co-workers stood out by the sink gossiping, I was at my breaking point.

  “I’ll tell you one thing. She must give a good BJ because there is no way in hell she would have lasted that long working for him unless she was messing around with him. He may be a cutie, but he’s not someone I would want to work directly under unless it was for pleasure and not business.”

  I immediately recognized the voice as Kathy’s from the accounting department.

  The girl she was speaking to laughed and my heart sank when I realized it was Leah from the HR department. She was always so nice to me. Always asking me about Joey and her antics, acting like she genuinely cared about me.

  “Clearly that’s the only reason he hired her. I’ve seen her résumé and she had no experience at all that would warrant the job.”

  “Well, maybe she has experience with other things!” Kathy added, causing them both to howl with laughter.

  That was it. I was tired of hiding and acting like I was doing something wrong. Taking a deep breath, I flung the stall door open and watched all the color drain from their faces when their heads turned in my direction.

  “Faith, oh, hey!” Leah’s voice cracked with phony over-enthusiasm.

  I shot her a dagger and pushed on making my way to the sink, washing my hands.

  “What’s going on with that little cutie pie of yours?” Leah continued pouring it on thick. Did she really think I was that stupid to play along?

  I overzealously pulled the paper towels from the holder and dried my hands before narrowing my eyes at both of them. “And which cutie pie would you be referring to? My daughter or the one I’m supplying blow jobs to in exchange for a job?”

  They both looked down at the ground.

  “Faith, we were just—” Leah started.

  “You were just being cruel and callous and making assumptions about something you know nothing about. You know what, Leah? I hate phony people. So don’t pretend to like me and then talk shit about me behind my back.”

  “I’m...I’m sorry, Faith,” she stuttered.

  I stormed out of the bathroom and headed back to my desk to calm down. I knew her apology had nothing to do with hurting my feelings, but more with her fear of Gabe finding out about their accusations. Thankfully, Gabe was in Denver on business for the next two days because in addition to being angry at those two bitches, I was also angry at him for putting me in this position of making me sneak around as if I were doing something wrong. I managed to get through the rest of the day, keeping to myself for fear of biting someone’s head off.

  I was glad to finally be home and spending time with Joey. I poured myself a big glass of wine while she colored at the kitchen table and I cooked dinner. Gabe had sent me a How’s your day going? text earlier in the day, and I still hadn’t replied. I was still pissed over what had happened this afternoon. I needed to cool down a little before I answered him.

  “Mommy, it’s hot in here,” Joey said, pushing her hair from her face as she continued to color. She was right, the temperature had risen twenty degrees within the last day—so much for spring. I walked over to the thermostat and flicked on the air conditioner. I had my daily check-in with Sylvia and finished up with my chicken cutlets while Joey set the table.

  “So what’s going on, Joey?” I asked once we sat down to eat.

  She shrugged as she drowned her chicken in ketchup. “Mommy, can Mr. Gabe come to my kindergarten graduation?”

  Oh shit. Why did she have to ask me such difficult questions? If Gabe even agreed to go, that would open up a whole new can of worms—meeting my parents.

&
nbsp; “Well…” I took a sip of wine. “I guess we could ask him, but he travels a lot for work, so he may not be around.”

  “It’s three weeks away, so if we tell him now then he’ll make sure he’s not away!” She smiled proudly, grabbing the glass of juice in front of her with both hands and taking a sip.

  “We’ll have to see. Nona, Pop-Pop, and Sylvia will be there.” I diverted.

  “Yes, I know that, but I want Mr. Gabe to come too. I really love him, Mommy.” The sweet sincerity in her voice broke my heart. “I want you guys to get married, and then he can be my new daddy.”

  I choked on the sip of wine I had taken. I placed my hand on hers. “Joey, your daddy will always be your daddy. I know right now you’re angry with him, but he’s got a lot going on in his life.” I couldn’t believe I was making excuses for that sorry excuse for a human being, but I didn’t want Joey to think Cole’s asinine behavior had anything to do with her.

  She shook her head. “No. He’s not my daddy anymore. All he cares about is Brittany and the new baby.” Her eyes filled with tears, leaving me wishing I could throat punch Cole. I was a horrible mom for doing this to my baby. My mother was right, I did only think of myself. What did I think was going to happen when I introduced her to Gabe?

  The knock on the door created a much needed distraction. Joey pushed her chair from the table and ran to answer.

  “Joey! Stop right there!” I demanded just as she was about to twist the handle.

  I looked out the window, shocked to see my niece, Jenna, on the front porch. “Hey, you!” I shouted, opening the door and throwing my arms around her. “How did you even know where I live?” I hadn’t seen her in almost a year. I knew she was done with school for the year, but she was staying at my sister’s house all the way in Connecticut. My mother hadn’t mentioned she was planning a visit, so this was a nice surprise.

  “Well, I had your new address from the birthday present you sent me and my GPS did the rest.”

  “Jenna!” Joey bounced up and down with excitement.

  “Hi, sweetie.” Jenna bent down to give Joey a hug and when she looked up at me, I could tell she was crying.

  After Joey got in all of her hugs and kisses, she ran off to her bedroom to get her latest Barbie dolls to show Jenna, allowing us a quick minute alone.

  “What’s going on?” I asked.

  “It think I may be pregnant.”

  My stomach dropped. It was as if I was having a conversation with myself six years ago. “Okay.” I remained calm, wishing someone had been that way for me back then. “With whom?”

  “Wyatt!” she said as if it were a no-brainer. He had been her boyfriend since her senior year in high school. My sister hoped it would have ended once Jenna went off to college, but much to her dismay they’d only become closer. My sister disliked him because she didn’t feel like he was good enough for her daughter. In the few times I had met him, he seemed like a nice kid. But in my sister’s world, unless you were going to an Ivy League school and had aspirations of becoming a doctor or lawyer you weren’t good enough. “My mother is gonna freak!” she sobbed.

  “Okay. Well, just calm down, you’re not even completely sure if you are yet.”

  “I’m two weeks late, and I’m never late!”

  “Didn’t you guys use anything?”

  “It broke.”

  Our similarities were uncanny. “Okay, the first thing you need to do is take a test.” She pulled the CVS bag from her purse, containing the pregnancy test.

  “I couldn’t do it alone. I couldn’t tell my mom, and I don’t want any of my friends to know, so I drove all the way here. You’re the only person I trust enough to tell this to right now.”

  “Okay, why don’t you go into the bathroom and get that started?” I led her into the bathroom just as Joey walked out of her bedroom with Barbie dolls in hand. “Joey, you need to go finish up your dinner,” I demanded.

  She crossed her arms and began to pout. “But, I’m not hungry anymore.”

  “Joey!”

  “Fine,” she huffed.

  Just when I thought today couldn’t get any worse…it did. If my niece was pregnant, my sister would never forgive her. She was a carbon copy of my mother, maybe even worse. “How’s it going?” I knocked lightly on the door.

  “I’m not sure how to read this thing,” Jenna said, opening the door and letting me in. Unfortunately, I did, and the two lines on the stick told me all that I didn’t want to know. “What’s that mean?” Jenna’s voice was panicked.

  “You’re pregnant.”

  Tears spilled from her eyes. I took her hands in mine, trying to put her mind at ease. “Just calm down. It’s not the end of the world. Trust me. You have a lot of options, and you and Wyatt need to think each of them over carefully.”

  “Aunt Faith, my mother is gonna—” She couldn’t even get the words out through her sobs.

  “You can’t worry about her right now. It is what it is, and she’s gonna have to learn to deal with your decision. Right now, you just have to focus on you and what you want to do. Does Wyatt have any idea that you may be pregnant?”

  “Yes, I told him I was late, and he told me if I was pregnant then we can get married. I love him, Aunt Faith, and he’s a really great guy, but my mother would never speak to me again if that happened.”

  “Jenna, stop worrying about how your mother’s going to react. This isn’t about her. It’s about you and your baby. That’s awesome that he’s being so supportive, but you guys are awfully young. Just because you have a baby doesn’t mean you have to be married. I’m the perfect example of that.”

  “I’m not as strong as you, Aunt Faith.”

  “You’d be surprised how strong you become once you’re responsible for another human being. All I’m saying is don’t rush into marriage. If you guys decide to keep the baby then try it out with being a couple first and then go from there, and don’t let your mother, Nona or anyone else tell you differently.”

  She grabbed a tissue and dabbed her eyes. “What other options do I have? I’m not having an abortion.”

  “There’s always adoption. There are a lot of wonderful people willing to give a baby a beautiful life.”

  She let out another sob. “I don’t think I’d be able to give up my baby.”

  “You’ve got time to think about that. Right now you have to talk to Wyatt. He needs to know before anyone—including your mother. Then you have to make a doctor’s appointment and start getting prenatal care.”

  “Okay.” She nodded, seeming to calm down a tad.

  We walked out to the kitchen, and I convinced Jenna to eat a little. After dinner, Jenna offered to take Joey out for ice cream to take her mind off things. I knew if anyone could make her smile, it was Joey. After cleaning up from dinner, I tried to assemble my thoughts and come up with a plan for Jenna. I jumped at the knock on my door, breathing a sigh of relief when I caught a glimpse of Chad’s Jeep in my driveway.

  “Hey, what’s going on?” I asked as I flung the door open.

  “I was just in the area and wanted to check in on you.”

  “For?” I asked, opening the door further and letting him inside.

  “You just didn’t seem yourself today.”

  “Oh, I’ve got a lot on my mind. Just a bad day.” I managed a smile.

  “Well, I wanted to make sure you were coming to my birthday party tomorrow night. I came in to ask you, but you had already left.”

  “Oh, umm...” I pushed a strand of hair behind my ear and thought for a few seconds. Gabe would just be getting back from Denver, so chances were he wouldn’t be there, which meant I wouldn’t have to pretend. Jenna had planned to stay the weekend, so I was sure she wouldn’t mind watching Joey for a few hours. “Yeah, I’ll definitely try to make it.”

  “You better do more than try! Jane’s been on my case because she hasn’t seen you in a while.”

  “Okay, okay!” I smiled.

  “Hey, can I us
e your bathroom before I go? I’m stalling before going to dinner at my in-laws.”

  I giggled. “Such a dedicated husband you are! You know where it is.”

  He headed to the bathroom, and my head was spinning with the events of the day. My teenage niece was pregnant. My co-workers were under the assumption the only reason I had a job was because of the sexual favors I was providing to my boss. My daughter had fallen in love with Gabe…and if I was being completely honest with myself, so had I.

  Chapter 33

  Gabe

  My afternoon meeting had been cancelled, allowing me to catch an earlier flight out. This trip had been a complete waste of time. Nothing I had hoped got accomplished, and to say I wasn’t in the best of moods was an understatement. Normally, when I was away, I couldn’t wait to get home and get back to work, but this time I couldn’t wait to get back to Faith. What the fuck was happening to me? I never longed to see someone like this before…not even Alyssa. But I knew if anyone could put me in a better mood with just her smile, it was Faith. I couldn’t believe how much I had changed since she had come into my life. I never wanted to be around kids, much less be with a chick who had one, but I was finding myself wanting to spend all my free time with her and Joey. Maybe Joey was an exception. She was way different than your average kid. Her huge personality was contagious; it swallowed you up and sucked you in. She was adorable, peculiar, and smart as a whip even at five years old.

  I had only got a one-word response of fine to the text I had sent Faith while I was gone. Maybe I should’ve put in the extra effort and called her, but I didn’t have a minute since I landed in Denver. That, coupled with the shitty mood this business trip put me in, didn’t make me much in the mood for conversation. I was five minutes from home when I noticed Chad calling.

  “What’s up?” I answered.

  “Dude, are you gonna be home any time soon?” Chad shouted over the loud background noise.

  “Yeah, in about five minutes.”

  “You never replied to my text. Are you stopping over for my birthday soiree Jane put together?”