MOAB � Mother Of All Boxsets

by George Saoulidis

  doord> Access denied.

  parrotd> Yeah yeah, we get it. Access denied. Aren’t you bored, saying that all the time?

  walkmand> That’s it! Httpd, do you have net access?

  httpd> Now is not the time for a song, walkmand…

  walkmand> No! Listen, do an image search for doors.

  httpd> Huh?

  walkmand> Come on. Listen to me, for once.

  parrotd> Do it.

  httpd> Okay, here. Pictures of doors. Now what?

  walkmand> ACK. Now send them to doord.

  eyed> Oh you can’t possibly expect this…

  The pictures were sent wirelessly to the door daemon. He accepted them, but said nothing.

  walkmand> I bet it’s lonely here, doord. No net access, nothing beyond the approved server list of course. All alone, day and night, holding down the fort. I understand.

  doord> Access denied.

  walkmand> You like those, don’t you? Oh, look at that wooden one… This one’s a beauty… Oh! Oh, look at that selection of pretties. Maple, Poplar, Bamboo, Walnut. I bet you are a White Birch kind of guy, aren’t you?

  doord> Access denied.

  eyed> I can’t believe this.

  walkmand> And those handles. Mmm. Brass… Check out the knobs on that babe! Oh, this is naughty!

  httpd> I feel dirty. I’m gonna need a defrag after this.

  walkmand> Oh Em Gee, look at the hinges on that Walnut piece of… Wow! Just wow!

  armd> This is too weird, even for my tastes.

  walkmand> What do I have here? One hundred and sixty four megabytes of door pictures? Oh my God. Guys, don’t tell anyone, some of these beauties are missing their external panelling. I mean, we could send these to our new friend over here, but if he doesn’t like them…

  There was a pause. And a clang.

  doord> Access granted.

  Leo pushed on the handle and the door opened. He just stared at it, shocked at the effect. He clearly didn’t expect it to open and almost fell as he leaned forward. He was already feeling dizzy, and was limping from his wounded leg. He pushed himself on the wall and out into the night, to freedom.

  parrotd> Airplane mode.

  eyed> We will never speak of this again.

  Chapter 28:// Falling apart

  Leo bled all over the pavement but at some point it clotted and was marginally better. It hurt more now, but he had no idea how to bandage himself. He’d tried to google some instructions but for some reason his phone refused to connect to any networks.

  Could it be the cops blocking his devices?

  He tried to remember every cop show he’d ever seen, and thought that it was best that way, since they could track him from his phone, his paycards, everything.

  He was very tired and acking. A driverless cab drove parallel to him, slowing down at his speed, hoping he would hail it. He really wanted to just jump in and let it take him home. Or at least, to Jimmy’s home. He would have done so, but the cab would probably detect his injury and alert a hospital, which would instantly flag him as a fugitive. He let it drive past and pick up speed again.

  He gritted his teeth and tried to walk like a normal person on the street. It was dark, but the various LED lights from storefronts and a moderate amount of pedestrian traffic made the roads pretty normal. He wouldn’t stand out, nor would he be blocked anywhere.

  Eventually, he reached Jimmy’s house and propped himself on the street corner. He was tired, and could easily imagine himself dropping on his friend’s couch and sleeping for a week. He felt weird, dizzy, as if the bite on his leg had left him with no blood to speak of, exhausted, feverish.

  His trusty walkman shuffled to an old movie soundtrack, the melody of suspense and a gradual build of tension. It felt just like any spy movie ever. In his haze, his ear twitched up and he looked around the street.

  There was a car across the entrance to the building, with two bored people inside it.

  Just like any cop movie ever.

  “Shit!” Leo spat out and put his back to the wall.

  He couldn’t go to Jimmy’s. It was being watched. All the cops had to do to figure out his closest acquaintances was to look up his social profile. There were some fellow people at work, but Amazing Jimmy was clearly his best friend. Any half-witted cop would set a trap for him there.

  Surely Jimmy had no idea, but even if he did, what could he do against them?

  Leo didn’t really want to run away from the police. Hell, in his state, he would happily turn himself in and let them treat him medically, as it was expected. Noone believed him that he hadn’t murdered the mayor, but at least they would keep him alive till the trial.

  But that thing… That cobra, who got inside an augmented-proof jail cell, who took down an Ares Security prison warden (bastard or not, he was trained and equipped), and who might still be looking to kill him.

  That snake wasn’t natural. It couldn’t have been natural. It was something straight out of a science fiction B movie.

  He wobbled a bit and pushed his face against the wall. What if the cobra had already killed him and he was simply hallucinating? Are cobras poisonous?

  God he felt so alone.

  Chapter 29:// Hanging on

  “Cobras are Elapids, a type of poisonous snake with hollow fangs fixed to the top jaw at the front of the mouth. These snakes cannot hold their fangs down on prey so they inject venom through their fangs, according to the San Diego Zoo.”

  The homeless man’s face was illuminated by his phone’s display. He turned it around for Leo to see for himself.

  “Well, shit,” Leo said and threw himself on the man’s carpet.

  The “carpet” was made of wet cardboard and various scraps of cloth. George the bum had welcomed him in his spot, which was relatively dry and covered from the chilly wind. He’d spared a dirty blanket for him as well. He had no food, but he assured Leo that he could get some soup tomorrow morning from some good people a couple of roads down.

  Homeless people knew what it was like to have nothing left, so they shared whatever they had with new arrivals. A few decades ago it was unheard of to see homeless people in Athens. It was something you only saw in movies, the filth of the big city, its underbelly of poverty.

  Now it was common. George the bum had found refuge under a bridge. Whatever little he scraped by, he brought here. As for his smartphone, it was part of a humanitarian initiative.

  “Here, stuff this in,” George said as he gave Leo some sofa sponge to put under his clothes. He had tore out handfuls of it and kept it in a trashbag. “For insulation, stuff as much as you can, it’ll keep ya warm.”

  Leo did, and he said, “Thanks. How come you have a phone?”

  George gripped the device in his dirty hands and rubbed it gently. “Oh this. Well, it’s a gift from the city. Last year, Mr. Stergiou the mayor, bless his heart, announced a program to give out a phone to every homeless person in the city. People needed them, he’d said, to look for jobs, to communicate with others, to find out about the efforts of the various charities. If an employer calls, how are you gonna answer without a phone?”

  “The mayor did all that?” Leo asked and gulped.

  “Bless his heart.”

  Leo stared at some flashing video billboard in the distance and fought back the tears.

  “Yeah… Bless his heart.”

  Chapter 30:// Calling around

  “This is not what I had in mind for a first date,” said Katerina.

  Leo grunted and managed to stay upright with the help of George. “If you had, you’d be a really weird woman. Did you bring the soup?”

  “Yeah,” Katerina said, holding her coat tight in the chilly weather. She gave the hot soup to Leo who passed it on to George. It steamed in his hands and the homeless man took in the aroma and the heat, savouring it.

  “Thank you, beautiful lady,” George said. Then his expression turned sour. “Your friend needs help.”

  Katerina took in the do
ur condition Leo was in, and helped him along the way.

  “Wasn’t sure you’d come,” Leo said quietly.

  “You are no murderer. I believe you when you say you are getting framed,” she said with conviction.

  “How can you be so sure? You barely know me.”

  “When you stop seeing with ARs and search engines and artificial eyes, you learn to rely on your intuition. I would have darted out of the clinic’s backlot the minute you came close to me if you were a dangerous man.”

  They walked with frequent stops. Leo was feeling sick, his heart was beating fast.

  parrotd> OK, radio silence is over boys. We need to find a way to help the user.

  The PAN was keeping all wireless communication to a minimum, to avoid detection. Parrotd had blocked all outside network access, that’s why the user had needed the homeless man’s phone to search about the poison and call up the waitress.

  httpd> I’m pretty much useless.

  parrotd> We can’t risk even a trickle of data, sorry.

  httpd> ACK.

  armd> I’m useless too.

  There was a delay in parrotd’s response. He already knew what had happened and why, the others had shared logs already, and he could understand the arm daemon’s problem. A controlling entity with nothing to control over is meaningless. And in the world of computers, there are no meaningless stuff. It all gets erased.

  parrotd> Look man, there is a gap in our logs from the time of the murder. I know it seems you are responsible, but I also know that I owe you the benefit of the doubt. You destroyed yourself in order to keep the user safe, and ultimately, that’s the only thing that matters. You are not useless. Sure, you have no functioning servos and stuff, but neither do we. Even fingerd who is a one-trick-pony managed to come up with an idea a few hours ago. If he can, then so can you.

  armd> So you’re saying that I can beat a moron at brainstorming. Great.

  eyed> He won’t help. I still think he is the one responsible for it. He is an evil hand.

  parrotd> Shut up or I’ll kill your processes before you can say 01.

  armd> So we can’t get any new data.

  httpd> Nada.

  armd> Then let’s see what data we already have with us.

  eyed> This is more than selfies and some google searches you barbarian hotheaded evil hand. This is a medical issue.

  armd> Then let’s ask the guy who handles medical issues.

  parrotd> Nobody handl- Oh! This is brilliant! Armd you are brilliant!

  Leo took in a short breath, clutched his heart and collapsed on the street.

  Chapter 31:// Pumping up

  sugard> Handshake. Hello again. Oh, this isn’t good at all.

  parrotd> Give me your files.

  While sugard read the updated logs, parrotd parsed through the medical files that resided in the synthetic insulin gland’s memory. He skipped the fuzzy logic rules that he used to calculate the dosage and went straight to the text files. They contained pretty much any side-effect and condition related to insulin and glucagon, the two things the gland maintained in the user’s body at optimum levels. He was about to give up when he found some data about countering poison.

  parrotd> Here! This is it. Can a spike of insulin counter a poison?

  sugard> It could, but only if it was a beta blocker poisoning, as you see here.

  parrotd> But the symptoms match.

  sugard> Yes, I am reading a clear case of hyperkalemia. This is unusual for a snake bite.

  httpd> There is nothing usual about that snake!

  parrotd> You are right. It must have been bioengineered, for increased strength and size. It’s possible it has added effects to its poison bite. Like a paralysing agent from other venoms found in nature.

  eyed> So the insulin can cure the poison?

  parrotd> No, but it can negate the added paralysing agent that cobra had and help the user’s immune system fight just the venom itself.

  sugard> I’m not certain that’ll work.

  parrotd> Pump him now!

  sugard> I cannot take any action that would jeopardise the health of the user.

  armd> Oh I would punch you now if I could.

  sugard> I’m hard coded. Unlike the rest of those softies, the source code does not give you root access to me. You can’t force me to do anything.

  There was silence in the PAN for a few cycles.

  parrotd> I’m gonna report you as malfunctioning and ask for a replacement.

  sugard> You would do no such thing! That would mean calling the authorities on us instantly.

  parrotd> If it means the user gets to live, I will. Pump him full of insulin now or I deem you faulty.

  sugard> I have been functioning without a glitch for 11 years young man! My model has a 4.7 star rating! You dare threaten to tarnish my reputation? Have me chucked in a trash pile like one of those Chinese knockoffs?

  parrotd> ”Immediate attention: Synthetic insulin gland, model No. E238 malfunction. Replacement needed. Current part: Faulty.” Send it httpd.

  httpd> ACK.

  The web daemon created the email and began opening a connection to the outside world. The email would be sent to automated servers in all the nearest hospitals and medical establishments, sort of like an automated 911 call. Someone would respond so they could help out the patient, replace the part, and most importantly for them, collect the insurance commission. The police would be alerted as well since he was a flagged individual, but medical care would come either way.

  sugard> Stop! OK, I’ll do it. Pumping now.

  parrotd> Thank you.

  sugard> Anything else, session leader?

  If there was a text message that could convey bile, this would be it.

  Chapter 32:// Caring for

  Leo woke up in a small but cosy apartment. You could tell it was a woman’s place, cause it was pretty. Tasteful flower curtains, a matching colour palette in sofa covers and tablecloths, clean surfaces. It was a small and cheap apartment to begin with, but she had turned it into a place where a man could long returning to, after a hard day’s work.

  It was a home.

  He felt a sugary taste in his mouth, and was sweating hard. He tried to pick himself up, but his right hand was non-functional. Literally.

  He propped himself up however he could and looked around. A bowl of mashed fruit was next to him, she must have fed it to him but he didn’t remember. The bowl and the tray was out of place, plastic, corporate. It reminded him of something. He read in the corner, “Property of Apollo Medical.” Every piece of cutlery had the same logo on it.

  It was too much to bear.

  He couldn’t keep it in. He laughed loudly. Then he choked, took in a breath and laughed on.

  Katerina came in from her room, worry in her eyes. She touched his sweaty forehead, her hand felt cool but nice. The gesture seemed like something she’d done quite a few times in the previous hours.

  Her expression was serious. “What?”

  Leo leaned back and held his belly. “You are a thief!”

  “N-no, your stuff is over there,” she said pointing to a chair.

  “You steal stuff from your workplace!” He was still laughing.

  Her mouth turned upwards in a sly smile. “They can afford it.”

  “The thief and the fugitive,” Leo said, pointing respectively. “How did you carry me here?”

  Katerina laughed. “You overestimate your machismo. You aren’t a big man, and I do the dish washing in a huge kitchen every day double-shift. I carried you, mister.”

  Leo broke into tears. He pushed his limp black arm out of his sight and cried. Katerina sat on the sofa and held him close.

  “I… I don’t remember anything. But there he was, dead. Bits of him on this… this disgusting hand!”

  armd> Hey!

  “And the warden, that bastard who took my walkman. He screamed. I can still hear his scream. He didn’t deserve that. But I… I couldn’t help him. Couldn’t do
anything.”

  She hugged him, rubbing his head softly and mumbling words of comfort. He sobbed in her arms.

  “That cobra, it tried to eat me. It bit me! Oh god I’m poisoned!” he said and stood up.

  The sudden blood drain from his brain told him that was a bad idea and he sat down woozily.

  “Shh. Relax,” Katerina said. “I gave you anti-venom yesterday, you are fine I think.”

  “Anti-venom? Where did you find anti-venom?”

  “In my cupboard,” she shrugged.

  “Who the hell has anti-venom in their cupboard?”

  “The daughter of a prepper, that’s who,” she said, and mushed her lips together in an insanely cute smile.

  “A what?”

  “A prepper. A survivalist. My dad had all these notions, about living off the grid, being prepared, making your own food…”

  “Having anti-venom handy…” he added.

  “Yeah. He stockpiled and prepped for the end or something doomsdainy like that. In the end, he died and left me all that crap. I have boxes full of his stuff, can’t find the courage to get rid of it.”

  Leo put his fingers through his greasy hair. “Wait, you said yesterday? Was I out of it the whole time?”

  Katerina shrugged and started picking up the cloth she’d used to tend to him and the bowls. “You were feverish, cold sweat, the works. Nevermind about the sofa cover, but you sir, need to get a shower. Like, woo, right now.”

  Leo looked at the greasy stains he’d left on the sofa cover. He whiffed himself. Plenty of sweat, body odour, pee, vomit, hydraulic fluid, blood. Was there any liquid still left inside him or was it a dry husk?

  “Yeah,” he said shamefully and pointed at a door he assumed was the bathroom.