Torn Series: A Bundle Set 1 - 10

by Pamela Ann

  Stay here… for now or stay with him until he was done with me? “I’m sorry, but I can’t. I have to move on.” He could take that any way he wanted to, but I was done yo-yo-ing with my emotions over him. I think.

  I had my future to think about and that was what I should put first. Messing around with Carter would be great. I mean, he was great in the sack, but then what? Have my heart broken all over again? I thought not. It would be better to just let him go now.

  Pushing him off me, I scrambled to my feet. Heading towards the bathroom, I stopped midway. “Oh, by the way, thanks for the orgasm.” I smiled at him and headed towards the bathroom.

  Hardy har har. His expression was priceless. Take that, jerk!

  “Without pain, there would be no suffering, without suffering we would never learn from our mistakes. To make it right, pain and suffering is the key to all windows, without it, there is no way of life.”

  ~Angelina Jolie

  Chapter Eighteen

  When I got out of the shower, Carter was nowhere to be seen. Apparently, he went fishing with some of his friends. I was somewhat relieved, but my mind was nagging me. Did he fuck some other girl from his army of skanks while I was in the shower? Amanda seemed to be following him everywhere. She was pretty gorgeous, but a skank all the same. Harsh? Yeah, but she totally deserved it. She would call Carter incessantly while we were still together, wanting to ‘kick it.’ Seriously, ‘kick it’ was her code? Ugh!

  There were a bunch of people out on the lake and a few strolling outside, just chilling, but I didn’t really know any of them. When I found Cooper in the kitchen, I was hella relieved.

  “Hey, Cooper, do you know where the girls are at? I can’t seem to find them anywhere.”

  Cooper stopped drinking from his bottled water and looked thoughtful for a moment. “Try checking their rooms. They’re in the west wing. I think they’re talking or whatever.”

  I gave him a quick wave. “Thanks, bud.” I went back upstairs towards the west wing.

  Sure enough, I could hear women’s voices talking inside the room, but I couldn’t make out what they were saying from the hallway. With a soft knock, I pushed the door open. “Why are you all in here? The weather is bright and sunny outside!” I cheerily greeted the quiet crew.

  All three women looked at me. Lindsey was sitting cross-legged on the bed, Amber was sitting on the couch, hovering over a table with a bunch of credit cards splayed all over it and Trista was standing against the wall, looking pained.

  Okay…

  “Did I just miss something? Why are you guys looking all glum? Did someone just die?”

  Trista just shrugged and kept staring at Amber. I looked at Lindsey for answers. “Amber’s parents are getting divorced.”

  Oh, no.

  I rushed to Amber’s side and gave her a tight hug. “Hang in there. You’re a tough cookie.”

  Amber sadly nodded her head and sniffed. Aw, she was obviously crying. “I hate this shit. I don’t know why Dad had to cheat on my mom with a stewardess. A fucking STEWARDESS! How original. And now he’s buying the fucking whore a house in Malibu. What a fucking gold-digger. That home-wrecker is killing my mom right now. My mom’s hysterical.” She sniffed again and wiped her eyes. “You know what the most fucked up thing is though? The stupid bitch is our age. Can you believe that shit? My father is banging a chick our age. What a disgusting pig! I hate him!” Amber started crying severely. I rubbed her back when she started having trouble breathing.

  “I don’t think it’s wise to lay all the blame towards the mistress, Amber. It does take two to tango, you know.” Trista put her two cents in on the subject. Why weren’t these two consoling Amber?

  Amber growled, “Yeah, you would know, right? It takes one to know one!” Her accusatory tone and eyes landed on the shocked Trista.

  What did she just say? “What the fuck are you talking about, Amber?”

  Amber snorted before she busted Trista. “I followed you a couple of weeks ago because you were being so sneaky. Funny, isn’t it? You’re screwing your cousin’s husband!”

  SHIT.

  My eyes went back and forth between the best friends. Trista looked teary now. “I didn’t mean for it to happen like that, I swear. Harry and I got drunk one night at a family party and it just happened.”

  OMG! Trista really was a mistress… to her cousin’s husband? Talk about scandalous!

  “Well, don’t you think it’s high time you stop fucking each other’s brains out before it gets worse, Trista? Don’t you think what my dad is doing to me and my mom is horrible?” Trista slid down the wall and plopped on the floor, looking distraught. Lindsey rushed over to her side and tried to soothe her.

  “I can’t leave him. I don’t think I can,” Trista whispered. “It’s too late now. I’m in love with him.”

  “You’re ruining your life, Trista! You’re not that kind of woman.”

  “Well, you’re not one to talk about ruining lives. You’ve been using cocaine for like forever!” Trista retorted back with vengeance.

  Cocaine? No. I pushed Amber and checked her. Sure enough, she had a clear baggie of powdery, white stuff sitting on her lap. And lots of it! “You can’t be using this shit, Amber. This is so bad for you! Your dad’s not worth it. He’s not worth ruining your life over!”

  “I’m an adult. I can do whatever I want!” Amber yelled back as she prepped her paraphernalia on the table, right there in front of us.

  “Amber! Stop it!” Lindsey stood up and tried to take away her stuff. Amber stood up, too, and slapped Lindsey in the face. Lindsey recoiled from the impact. “What the fuck!” She screeched.

  “I want you all out of my business right now. None of you are of any help! Do you hear me? SCRAM!” Amber sat back down again, opened her tiny baggie and poured the powdery white stuff on the table. With her Platinum AMEX card, she made three perfect straight lines, tediously. She took out a tiny black straw and snorted the first line in her left nostril then she closed her amber-colored eyes, tilted her head back, sniffed and cleared her nasal passages, making sure she got all of the powdery stuff inside. Finally, she opened her eyes and looked us each in ours. “I need you all to leave. Just give me time. I need this right now before I go crazy. I’m not going to ask again.”

  Frozen and horrified, Lindsey and I both looked at Trista, who merely shrugged and left the room. What the hell! Were we just going to leave Amber in here, wired and high? Lindsey followed suit, but I stood there, staring at Amber, not knowing what to do.

  “Amber… please… listen to me.”

  Amber gave me a sad smile. “This is not the first time, my friend. I’m sorry you’re witnessing this ugly side of me, but I am what I am. I’ve done this before and quit, but I just need time to process things, okay? I really like you, Emma, but right now, I really need you to leave. I just want to be alone.”

  “Amber… you’re hurting. You can’t possibly be okay to be left alone.”

  “Each person hurts differently. Each person processes hurt in their own way. This is how I cope with it.” I wanted to hug her. Her eyes were so haunted and anguished. I felt helpless. With a begrudging nod, I silently left the room and found Lindsey and Trista at the end of the hall, waiting for me.

  “How long have you guys known?” I asked the two people that have known Amber the longest.

  “Ever since it started,” they both responded in unison.

  “Well, isn’t there a way to help her?” Why were they acting like this was normal?

  “We both told her parents before, but they just didn’t care. They said their daughter’s a big girl and that she could handle herself.”

  I blinked a few times before Trista’s words sank in. “Are you serious? What kind of parents would say stuff like that about their daughter’s addiction?”

  “Give her a week or two, Emma. This is her way—fucked up way, yeah—but it’s her way to cope,” Lindsey murmured.

  I stared at her wide-eyed.
So, I guess this was just a routine for them? I hadn’t known and I didn’t like this. I felt like there was something we should have done.

  It sucked to sit idly by and watch your friend be in shambles.

  ~E~

  I still had an hour and half or so before the planned barbeque downstairs. I didn’t want to be idle anyway. I would just think too much about Carter and that was a no-go zone for now.

  Lindsey and Brody went for a walk and Trista went hiking with some other folks. Amber was still stuck in her room and when I checked on her, she was curled up in bed sleeping.

  All by my lonesome, I figured I should get my priorities straight and my number one priority was to start studying my movie script. I wanted to call Bass so bad, but I couldn’t find my phone anywhere.

  So, I decided to enjoy the view from the bedroom porch and start reading through the Blasphemous script. I knew I had months to go through it, but I wanted to make sure I nailed the part right. This film would be my debut and I wasn’t going to do it half-ass. I wanted to embody Angela and her feelings towards Logan and her Greek husband, Spiros, perfectly.

  After reading fifty pages, my cheeks were flushed. Wow, Martin was aiming for this film to be a heck of a rollercoaster of raw sex and a mind-bending whirlwind of emotions. The first kiss between Angela and Logan the first night they met was scorching. SCORCHING to the point where I could see me and Bass kissing like our lives depended on it. Gosh, that kiss would be explosive.

  I figured out that Bass and I would be nude during the love making scenes and the thought of it made me break out in a sweat. If I felt like this just thinking about it, how was I going to feel when Bass and I were actually naked?

  I closed the script and decided that I would read it later. Provoking thoughts of Bass and me in that heated sexual ordeal was too much to take in. Out of options, I retreated to the massive bed that was inviting me to sleep.

  A nap would do me wonders.

  ~E~

  “Hey, aren’t you that chick?” one of the guests asked me as she snapped her fingers, trying to remember where she saw me.

  “Don’t think so,” I mumbled as I forked the ribs and placed them on my plate.

  The girl still pondered. “Yup, got it! You were in that celebrity gossip magazine, right? I think you were with Bass Cole! OMG! O.M.G! Yeah! Yeah! That was you! You guys were coming out of a club together! Shit, you’re dating Bass Cole! Can I take a picture with you?” I stared at her, horrified. Are you kidding me? I didn’t understand why she was freaking out like that. The decently composed girl turned shrieking monster made me want to hide somewhere. “Wow, you’re really pretty!” she kept on going. I was beyond relieved when Lindsey joined us.

  My friend butted in, but not to help me. “I know, right? Give me your phone. I’ll take a picture of you two together!” Lindsey offered and the ranting girl happily obliged.

  What the hell? This was stupid. I was not Bass’s girlfriend! “But I’m not his girlfriend!” I interjected, but neither one seemed to care.

  “Give me a pretty smile, Emma! One, two, three; say cottage cheese!” I wanted to murder Lindsey right then and there.

  Once the annoying girl left with her stupid picture, I went to sock my friend. Lindsey put her hands up. “Listen, I know that was stupid and I had a lot of fun teasing you, but honey, you have to start getting used to stuff like that. In seven months, this little bubble you live in will no longer exist.”

  She was right, but I didn’t want to point that out to her. Instead, I asked about Amber and Trista. I was still in shock about what happened earlier. “Amber is hard-headed. There’s no way around her,” she told me. “Trista, on the other hand, seems to be hopeless. She’s in love with that Harry guy and doesn’t want to leave him.”

  Hell, it was how I felt. I was watching Trista and Amber spiral downwards and there was nothing I could do but watch as they struggled to stay afloat.

  Lindsey and I were eating barbeque and enjoying the placid view of the beautiful lake before us. There were bonfires, music and tons of drunken folks singing and dancing, but we decided to choose a spot far enough away from the crowd so we could chat. We stopped stuffing ourselves with ribs when we saw Cece come out of a darkened corner with Cooper, doing God knows what. My eyes automatically darted to Lindsey.

  Anger, pain, hatred and jealousy were all etched on her pretty face. “Linds?”

  “I’m fucking furious right now. Does Cece have to get a taste of every guy that I’ve ever been with? I don’t get her. And as for Cooper, he can go fuck himself and stuff his sausage in Cece’s contaminated pussy.”

  “Sorry, I know you liked Coop.” Lindsey did. She wouldn’t have slept with him if she didn’t.

  “I just lost my appetite. Want to drink with me, doll? I know you haven’t touched much alcohol lately, but I’m asking you to drink with me. I want to forget what I just saw.” Crap, my friend was hella hurt. Men, we hated them and yet, we couldn’t live without them.

  I stood up and pulled my friend out of her seat. Before we started commiserating in our drunken misery, I had to give her a big I-love-you-no-matter-what kind of hug.

  “Come on let’s look for a bottle of Hennessy and Patron. It’s time to crash this party!” my hurt friend said with determination.

  Lindsey Mason had one purpose and that was to show Cooper Haze a big fuck you.

  “Maybe our girlfriends are our soul mates and guys are just people to have fun with.”

  ~Candace Bushnell

  Chapter Nineteen

  We’d been drinking for about two hours straight and I must say, neither of us were coherent. Once the alcohol hit Lindsey’s bloodstream, she was unstoppable. She danced and made out with Brody, for Cooper to see.

  “Get your tight ass up here, Emma!” Lindsey and Trista tried to gather me up with them.

  I was about to get on top of the mahogany bar and join them dancing Coyote Ugly style when Carter pulled me back. This better be good… “Don’t you dare get your drunken ass up there, Emma!” he bellowed as something flashed below me and my eyes went straight to his pocket.

  Carter was wearing white surfer shorts and I could easily see my phone screen flashing.

  Bass Cole Calling…

  I lunged towards him and dug inside his pocket. “Give me that!” I ordered, but Carter was too strong for me and he pulled my hand out before I had the chance to even brush against my phone. Fuck! How many times had Bass called? How many times had he sent messages? They all went unanswered.

  “Didn’t I make myself clear that you don’t get to have it back until we hit Santa Barbara again?”

  Since Carter was a major Jerk—yes, with a capital J—I threw him my two middle fingers. “F.U.C.K. YOU! Why don’t you go stick this up your idiotic ass and spin on it?” Whoops! Too harsh? My bad.

  With that parting, I joined the girls on the bar just when Womanizer came on the speakers. Ha ha ha! Can you say the song was perfect for all three of us gals?

  “Superstar

  Where you from, how's it going?

  I know you gotta clue, what you’re doing

  You can play brand new to all the other chicks out here

  But I know what you are, what you are, baby.”

  Trista and I bumped our butts together as we continued on. Guys gathered around the table, taking videos and hollering. Lindsey was getting all hyped up.

  “Look at you

  Gettin' more than just re-up

  Baby, you

  Got all the puppets with their strings up

  Fakin' like a good one, but I call 'em like I see 'em

  I know what you are, what you are, baby.”

  I could feel Carter’s simmering anger from somewhere in the room, but I didn’t have it in me to look for him. His abhorrent antics were getting to me and I didn’t know if I could stand being close to him without killing him.

  “Womanizer

  Woman-Womanizer

  You're a womanizer


  Oh Womanizer

  Oh You're a Womanizer Baby

  You, You You Are

  You, You You Are

  Womanizer, Womanizer, Womanizer.”

  Each time Lindsey uttered the word womanizer, she pointed to a man—any man. Ha! Girlfriend was on a roll. Guess Cooper Haze was now history, huh?

  I sang and danced with my gals until I couldn’t do it any longer. Out of breath, I jumped down off the bar and hunted for a bottle of water. I took one from the sprawling amount of iced beverages next to the bar we were dancing on and walked out of the house, needing distance from the riotous commotion that Lindsey evoked. At the same time, I couldn’t stand the swirling thoughts of the men in my life.

  Once outside, I walked towards the backyard and welcomed the fresh change of scenery before me. The moon was high and my entire body was blanketed in sweat. The earthy smell of pine and crisp air cleared my jumbled brain.

  Lindsey was hurt. I got that and I did feel for her, but at the same time, if I was Cooper or Brody, how would I feel if the woman I was after couldn’t make up her damn mind? Well, I guess that didn’t take long because Cece made that decision easier for her. I just hoped that Lindsey would be okay.

  Occupied with my thoughts, I strolled at a leisurely pace until I hit a stream. I leaned against a pine tree as I stared at the flowing water and the calming sound it produced. The trickling sound made me feel at peace.

  Who would’ve thought a month ago I would be in this position? Life certainly had its way of surprising you when you least expected it, especially when you were down and out. No matter what happened with Bass, if we became involved or not, I would forever be grateful to him. Not only did he open a lot of doors for me and not only did he make it an easy transition for me, he made me realize a lot of things. He made me see that life was about following what your gut tells you to do and not what others expected you to do–his ‘half and half’ speech.

  Bass was a passionate man. He spoke with conviction and truth. He was straightforward and didn’t hesitate when he wanted something. I wanted to be like that. I hoped to become like that. I admired him. I admired his passion and his authenticity. He was the real thing. What was exemplary about his personality was that he didn’t let all the fame and fortune get to his handsome head. Bass was a grounded man.