Torn Series: A Bundle Set 1 - 10

by Pamela Ann

  Even with all that, I couldn’t bring myself to be with Bass. Yes, things were running in the fast lane—even faster than the German Autobahn—and it startled me that things unfolded as quickly as they did. Even if I could get over the fact that things had been going too fast with Bass, it wouldn’t eradicate what I felt for Carter.

  Sure, my love for Carter wasn’t as strong since I met Bass, but it was still there, lurking in the back of my mind and when I least expected it, it would pop right out at me like a jack-in-the-box.

  Carter… where the heck did I even begin with that tumultuous rollercoaster?

  I tensed when I heard a twig snap, bringing me out of my reverie.

  Well, wasn’t it the very man himself? “Emma.”

  I sighed. Couldn’t I just have a moment of peace without him hounding me? “What do you want, Carter? Are you giving me my phone back? If you came here to be an ass again, then I suggest you go back before I pummel your body into the ground!” I threatened.

  In reality, I wasn’t capable of beating him into the ground—he was all muscle—but I needed to relay just how angry I was. Carter was being beyond unreasonable. He made a two-year–old’s tantrums easier to deal with.

  Carter sighed as he raked his large, sexy hand through his hair. The moonlight made him look even more dangerously beautiful, much to my dismay. The last thing he needed was for me to gawk and praise his Adonis form and beauty. Carter already had an over-sized ego.

  “Em, I know I’ve been such a jerk to you over the last week. It’s just—that’s how I was used to reacting to things and I don’t like changing what is normal to me, but this past week has been pure hell. I really want you back in my life.” Carter came closer, pained and unsure. He stared at me with such burning emotion, I felt faint. “I’m sorry. Please… please… forgive me?” he asked as he tried to reach out to me, but I quickly moved to the side, not wanting him to touch me.

  Words. An ‘I’m Sorry’ from Carter wouldn’t cut it with me. Well, not anymore. “You’re sorry? For the last week, you’ve been acting like a little boy who wanted his old toy back. Well—that’s just it, Carter! I told you I was done with you. I am done with our half ass kind of relationship. I want more than sex. I want commitment—I want it all! You’re not that man—you have some kind of phobia when it comes to commitment. So, please, just walk away and stop pursuing me.”

  He moved a little closer before he spoke, sounding more sure, more than ever. “I could be that man and I will—for you, I will, Em. Just give me a chance!” Empty promises, they didn’t mean shit anymore. Oh, he was good with those.

  “Promises. Here we go again. Save your promises for another woman who would die to hear them from you. I am not that woman, Carter—not anymore. It’s best you get that drilled into your head.” I hugged myself and started to walk fast, away from him.

  I was so over this. I’d reached my limit when it came to Carter. I didn’t think I could stomach this crazy tug of war with my emotions anymore. I needed to move on and never look back, no matter how much it pained me to do so.

  With renewed determination, I walked towards the clearing. I wasn’t sure if he was following me or not. It was hard to hear because my ears were ringing from our encounter and it didn’t help that I was more than tipsy. I stopped abruptly when he did something I hadn’t expected him to.

  When I was halfway through the clearing, he yelled at the top of his lungs, “I love you.” His voice was choked up, abundant with tortured pain.

  Frozen, I let his words sink in.

  The words I had waited to hear from his lips were now my reality. I fought the emotions that roared through me. They were igniting my whole body and burning me with their crackling fire.

  In quick haste, I turned around and ran towards him. “Don’t you fucking dare use love in this, Carter! We both know you don’t do ‘love.’ You don’t get to use that as a fucking weapon,” I spat at his face, even more furious that he was riling me up. He had the audacity to use that damn four letter word. The gall! My determined stance and face spoke volumes. He wasn’t getting through to me. He knew I meant what I said. Carter would not weaken my resolve. Been there, done that.

  Carter stared at me for a second, his face contorted with misery. He looked simply wounded and in utter disbelief that I threw his declaration of love back in his face. His breathing was ragged and his pained gaze simply eviscerated me. His Adam’s apple bobbed before he rasped out, “Emma, please…”

  My eyes searched his and in that very instant, I knew he meant every word. Defeated, he sunk to his knees. With his head down, he inhaled, deeply, like he needed to get as much air as he could to enable him to breathe properly. Startled and panicked, I stared at the broken man kneeling before me.

  What the hell do I do? I thought as I bit my lip.

  Carter looked up at me. “I love you, Emma. I’ve loved you ever since the first night you spent in my arms. I’ve been in love with you all this time, but I never had the courage or strength to tell you how I felt because I was a coward, but being a coward made me lose you and now I’m trying to brave it out for you—face my demons because of my love for you and you alone,” his voice wobbled. “I feel like half a person without you, Em. I can’t function. I need you back; I want you back because I honestly love you.”

  God! He did mean it.

  Shit.

  Fuck.

  Shit.

  There went my damn perseverance.

  Carter…

  “My father used to be so in love with my mom, to the point where nothing made sense to him unless my mother was around, close to him. My mom was his obsession, his drug. But even with his obsessive adoration, my mom cheated on him. One night, she came home and told my father that she was pregnant and the father was her personal trainer. She was going to move in with him… my dad… he was distraught, even then, he begged my mom not to leave him. He even went on and on and promised to love the child she was carrying as his own because he loved everything about her and if the baby was part of the bargain, he’d take it in a heartbeat. Lindsey was too young to understand what was going on. But I did, I saw what love could do to a man. It weakens you and it makes a fool out of you.

  “The same night of her revelation, my mom left us. My father, fool that he was, followed her out in a separate car. My mom ended up crashing her car against a broken-down truck on the side of the road. I guess dad was following closely behind her because his car followed suit. I’m not sure if it happened because he didn’t have much time to maneuver, or if he did it on purpose so that he could follow Mom because he couldn’t live without her.

  “You see, Emma, love doesn’t come easy for me. It was the one thing I promised myself not to do—I didn’t want to follow in my father’s footsteps. I wanted to hide it from you… for as long as I could, but you left me no choice. When I told you I loved you… it’s because I honestly do.”

  Oh, my God… Carter did love me.

  “Get up, please,” I begged. I couldn’t stand the sight of him hurting and in evident pain as he knelt before me.

  Carter shook his head, clearly adamant. “No—not until you take me back.” His contorted face gave away how serious he was.

  What do I do? I was torn. Should I wait for a sign to tell me to take him back or should I grab at the opportunity to be with the man I had fallen for? Maybe this time, we could make it work as a couple in a real relationship, not the sexual one we had before.

  Bass…

  What about Bass? Bass and I had known each other for such a short amount of time. I lusted after him. Who wouldn’t? However, it was Carter who I loved, right? This was my chance to have my heart’s desire.

  Then, what am I waiting for?

  “Fine, I’m taking you back… as long as you promise that you will try very hard to make this work. I’m giving you this one chance, Carter, don’t fuck it up.”

  “What did you say, Em?” he asked, a smile forming on his handsome face. He obviously he
ard me, but wanted me to say it again.

  “Uh, now you’re just driving me nuts!” I complained as I held out my hand for him to grab onto so I could lift him up. To my surprise, he pulled me down with him. I let out a loud squeal as he tickled me half to death.

  With my back on the ground and Carter on top of me, I felt deliriously happy. Our faces were inches apart as he spoke, “I love you, Emma, and I promise to be loyal to you and you alone. I will give my all to make you happy.”

  God, let’s hope so because I’m dropping Bass Cole for you. You better make it worth it.

  I linked my arms around his neck and looked at the man I had fallen for. For the first time since he said those words, I saw Carter in a new light. I whispered, “I love you, too, Carter Mason.”

  “Thank the fucking gods! ‘Cause if you didn’t, I wasn’t going to let you leave the cabin until you told me that you did.” I laughed at his statement as he kissed me passionately.

  I moaned as his mouth ambushed my senses. His hand possessively captured the side of my cheek as he voraciously fed his appetite with hot lingering kisses. With his hard body on top of mine, his hand reached inside of my sweater, pushing my bra aside. He caressed my breast and pinched my nipple.

  I groaned as he whispered my name, “Emma… I love how you come apart in my arms.”

  Carter didn’t give me much time to think as he took my leggings off. The chilly night didn’t hinder our urgent need to be together; the need to feel each other, the need to become one. My thong was flung in the air next as I looked at the man who consumed me. I watched as he took his shorts off with no shyness or inhibition. His gorgeous, muscled body was illuminated in the moonlight as his gaze burned with fire; they were full of ardent passion, heady lust and savage desire.

  His dark eyes obliterated me and he was all I could see, feel and need. Without another word, he annihilated my lips as he parted my legs and harshly plunged inside me with one hard thrust. I gasped as his huge cock filled me, hot and demanding.

  “You’re worth the wait, Emma,” I heard Carter say as my body craved and savored every heated, hard thrust he gave.

  “Give me more, Carter. Give it to me harder.”

  With haste, his left hand cupped my ass cheek, lifting and pressing it against him, making it easier for him to go deeper, stretching and filling me to capacity. I reached for his ass to keep it in place, to continue to shove it deeper inside me. “Your nice little pussy is fucking heaven, baby.”

  We panted and mated like we were dying and couldn’t live without each other. He held my hips with his strong arms, his manhood still jammed inside me as he shifted us to a sitting position with me on top. With my feet planted on the lush, cool ground on the sides of his hips, I linked my arms around his neck, kissing him as I rode him hard with urgency and greed.

  “Take everything that you want from me, baby. Ride me harder—give me your all. Give me that nice, juicy pussy, again and again. I want it to eat my cock whole. Ride me harder, baby.” Carter groaned as I clutched his shoulders harder and took him as he commanded me to.

  “Carter!” I choked out as spasms hit me in waves.

  His lips sought my neck and bit into it as my orgasm shattered me into pieces. I moaned as he took charge of my hips and lifted me up and down, sliding in and out of me as he prepared for his own release.

  “FUCK, BABY! You’re the best fuck!” he grunted out as he came inside me.

  Limp and distractedly happy, I laughed as he tried to kiss me. “I love you, Emma.”

  “This is crazy. I can’t believe we did this out here.”

  “Sorry, I couldn’t control myself. I was dying and needed to have you as soon as possible. There’s no one else but you, Emma.” He looked soulful as he stroked my flushed cheek. “Thank you for giving me this chance again, Em. I will make you very happy.” I smiled as I kissed him.

  I hoped he would keep his promise because I didn’t know if I could stand it if he hurt me again, but that’s what love was, right? We had to take a risk or we’d never know what love truly meant.

  “You’re still on the pill right?”

  I raised my brow in question. “Yeah, why?”

  Carter smiled and gave my lips a searing kiss. “Tonight’s going to be a long night. I’m going to make love to you over and over again until the sun comes up.”

  “A stud’s promise?” I cheekily asked as he gave me a wink and gathered me up.

  “It’s only the beginning, you’ll see,” he said as we got dressed and then strolled back to the cabin to join the crowd.

  “Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.”

  ~Kahlil Gibran

  Chapter Twenty

  “There you guys are!” Amanda announced in front of everyone. “Where have you been Carter? I’ve been looking all over for you.” She pouted as she traced the outline of Carter’s neckline.

  “Are you blind, Amanda?” I asked the blatant flirt after I smacked her hand away from touching Carter.

  “Hello? Of course not. I can’t be this hot and be blind, duh? Why do you like this boring, so-so, plain woman, Carter? She’s just plain, like vanilla. Uh, who likes vanilla, anyway? No one!” The bitch smirked at me.

  I wanted to wipe that smirk off her smug face.

  “Yeah, I am boring compared to you, so what? Carter wants the vanilla me and not your flavorful swirls. Get over it.”

  Something flashed in Amanda’s eyes. She was in full catty mode. “He likes my swirls. Trust me–Carter Mason loves swirls.” Amanda looked at Carter through her lashes as she stuck her tongue out and traced her lips.

  “That’s enough from you, Amanda. Emma and I are back together now and I’m not interested. Stop following me around and find someone else to sink your claws into.”

  Amanda huffed and spoke before she walked off, “You’re going to miss me, Carter. I can’t wait ‘til you come knocking on my door.”

  I tensed. Reality check, here it is.

  “Let’s go back to our room,” Carter suggested and I didn’t even nod or respond to him because my mind was still focused on what Amanda just spewed; swirls, blowjobs. That meant she had sucked him off. I knew I shouldn’t be really mad since we were broken up, or at least I hoped we had been when the incident happened with Amanda. Still, I had to see her around. A lot.

  Once inside the confines of our bedroom, Carter strolled towards the bay windows and looked out at the glittery lake As he spoke, “She gave me head, once. Well, I guess half a head since I didn’t let her finish. It was that same night you went off on a date with Bass Cole, when I caught you guys at the apartment.”

  Shit cakes. Yeah, same night I begged for Bass to kiss me—the same night that I wanted Bass to touch me.

  “Did you do anything else with her? Or with anyone else, for that matter?”

  Carter shook his head. “No, I wanted to. I mean, I tried to, but I couldn’t get you out of my head, Em.”

  I smiled. “Good to know.”

  I walked towards the bed and sat down. Carter came over and joined me, looking serious. “Did you have sex with Bass? Did you kiss him?”

  Did I have sex with Bass? Definitely not, although, I wanted to.

  Did I kiss those perfect lips of his? No, although, I wanted to, oh so badly.

  “No, we didn’t go that far. He kissed my neck though, if you must know.”

  Carter pulled me onto his lap and kissed me. “Are you telling me the truth? You really didn’t have sex with him? ’Cause everyone was saying you did and that magazine insinuated you did.”

  They did, didn’t they? Well, they got my thoughts correct, but not what really happened.

  “No, nothing happened. We just hung out and talked a lot. Bass is a great guy. He was respectful and treated me with the utmost care.”

  And boy did he. Bass. I was really going to miss him. My heart constricted at the thought of not being around him. I liked Bass a lot, but there
was always going to be a big BUT when it came to him.

  “Good, because if he hadn’t, I would have just loved to knock that arrogant son of a bitch out.”

  “Oh, shut up, Carter! You’re not punching anyone.”

  “Don’t you doubt it because I will hurt anyone that tries to hurt you, Emma.”

  I took a moment to think about what he said. When I looked up, I found his eyes on me. “There’s only one thing I ask of you... don’t hurt me, Carter.”

  He kissed my lips and smiled. “Not going to happen. Why don’t we go downstairs and join the rest of our friends? We’re leaving tomorrow after all.”

  I shook my head. I was emotionally drained and tired from all the alcohol I consumed. I also didn’t want another encounter with Amanda. “You go right ahead. I want to shower and catch up on some reading.” Reading the movie script; something that I wasn’t ready to share with him. I would tell him eventually, but not tonight. I just didn’t know how he’d react to it.

  “You’re sure? I can stay with you, if you want.”

  I pinched his cheek. “I am sure. Soccer just ended and you guys had a tremendous season. You need to party with your team.”

  Was I a jealous woman? Hell, yes, but I was a reasonable one, too. I knew what this weekend meant to him and his teammates and I wasn’t going to come in between that. I just hoped that he would be just as noble when I told him about the movie I would be doing with Bass. Didn’t they say in every relationship one should learn how to give and take? Well, here it was. This was me giving.

  “You’re the best, Em! I’ll be back in a couple hours.” He stood up and pulled my phone out of his pocket. “Here. I don’t need to hold your phone hostage to get your attention. I love you.” He then kissed me and headed towards the door.