Embracing Love (Tainted Love Book 3)

by Lily Zante

  Keeping away from Tanya wasn’t going to be easy now that he was back but he was all too aware of her desire to separate business from their personal relationship. And he’d done just that: dialed it down a little, for her sake. It was why he’d kept his emails and calls to her professional and short. Russell had always been around, and when they weren’t working, Russell wanted him to meet clients and network. The man partied as hard as he worked.

  With the sun streaming in through his windows he found it hard to turn himself away from the view, until his secretary called and surprised him.

  “Tanya Braun is here to see you.”

  Tanya Braun?

  He felt a fluttering in his belly to know she was just outside his door. But at the same time he was filled with dread. He wasn’t sure it would be wise to see her here, at his office, with his hawk-eyed secretary keeping tabs on everything.

  He hesitated, then stepped out of his office.

  She stood in the waiting area, and looked a little unsure. She gazed back at him, giving him a quick smile, with her hair tumbling all over her shoulders. Flowers and sunshine. His insides danced, and he wanted to leap forward and take her in his arms.

  But he couldn’t.

  “Tanya,” he stepped towards her. He wanted to hug her, but knew it was better to hold out his hand. “I can’t see you for long, I’m sorry.” He glanced at his secretary, and was all too aware that she and Vanessa were good friends. He reined back his enthusiasm.

  Tanya seemed a little distant too, but he was intrigued to know why she had come.

  “Come on in,” he beckoned and stood aside to let her pass.

  “How have you been?” he asked, the eagerness in his voice telling.

  “Busy, like you.” She seemed stilted, her voice controlled. It wasn’t the Tanya who had come to his hotel room that night. “My list of things in the office piled up while I was away.”

  “I know, I have the same problem.” He gave her a careful look, and tried not to let his gaze fall to her lips. Everything and anything reminded him of that night, a night he thought about every single day.

  “I’m afraid we can’t move forward until this whole legal problem is resolved. I don’t even think we ought to be talking, Tanya. I’ve been told not to have any dealings with Spiral for the same reason.”

  She looked startled. “I understand. I wasn’t sure when you’d be back. I was passing through and I thought I’d touch base with you and see if there was any more information you might have on the matter.”

  “Sorry. I can’t say anything. Spiral cited your company in their lawsuit as being the ones who took the business that should have been theirs.”

  “I know. I understand.” She said, and she seemed as disappointed as he felt.

  He tried moving the topic to something safer. “I only just got back from London a few days ago but I’ve been busy with the lawyers. I was going to call you tonight, or tomorrow, in fact.”

  “Nadine mentioned you’d gone to London.”

  He scratched his jawline, ran a heavy hand over his stubble. “I needed to visit my son before he moved to Australia.”

  The set expression on her face softened a little. “I’m really happy for you, Gabriel.”

  She seemed to lose the formality, and he felt a little more relaxed. “Thank you.”

  “Your family means a lot to you. I can see that.”

  “My son means a lot to me.” He wanted her to understand that there was nothing between the mother of his child and him any longer.

  He wanted to tell her he’d needed clarity, that he’d needed to know he could let his son go without it meaning that he was losing him forever. He wanted to tell her that nothing much had fazed him after that visit and that he had learned not to be so fearful about love. That it would always be there between father and son.

  There would be distance. But it was only distance.

  Love could and would still survive.

  But he wasn’t sure how to explain this to her, because he wasn’t so sure he understood it all himself, just yet.

  He wasn’t really sure he could jump back into the closeness they’d shared that night, where they had started to open up to one another. And he knew this wasn’t the time for that conversation.

  It would have to wait.

  She wore her impenetrable expression again, the one where he was unable to comprehend what was going on with her. He felt he couldn’t ask her either, because she seemed closed off to him.

  And now the legal problems stood in the way of them getting any closer. He wouldn’t forgive himself if he dragged Tanya’s name into it all. She would be mortified. For that reason alone, he would need to back off.

  “I’m happy for you, Gabriel. It’s important to get closure.”

  “It is important,” he agreed, holding her gaze, wanting to dig deeper, needing to know she was over her ex, and had moved on, too.

  But how could he ask when they couldn’t move on yet?

  “Otherwise you’re stuck, in limbo, not knowing whether you can move forward, and so you live in the past.”

  “You speak as though you know from experience, Tanya.”

  “I’m learning.” She looked at him, then looked away, and he waited for her to reveal some more of herself. “I was just passing through,” she said, her voice low as she got up. “I’d better go.”

  He got up as well. “Look, Tanya. Things are particularly awkward right now. It might be better if we didn’t keep in touch until the legal issues are cleared up.” As much as it killed him to say this to her, he felt it was the honorable thing to do.

  “We haven’t really kept in touch, have we?” She gave him an embittered look. He heard her, and knew he had a lot to explain. But even though it hurt so much to do this, it was much better this way. He could imagine the tawdry libelous headlines: Threesome In Corrupt Business Deal

  No way.

  She’d understand later why he’d been like this.

  But still, the pull he felt towards her was too strong to deny. “Did you know Nadine was thinking of coming over next week?”

  “Nadine?” she asked, and from her surprised look, it was obvious she had no idea. “Next week?”

  He nodded.

  “I didn’t know that. But I’m often the last to know anyway.” She sounded bitter and he wished he hadn’t mentioned anything at all. “It was something she’d been thinking about,” he said, trying to smooth things over, seeing her angry face. “I don’t know if it’s confirmed.”

  Chapter 31

  Tanya winced as she left Gabriel’s office. As if it hadn’t been enough of a shock to deal with his coldness, she’d also had to suffer the embarrassment of not knowing about Nadine’s impending visit.

  It couldn’t be that Nadine was being sent over to clear up the legal problems, could it? Immediately Tanya’s defenses shot up again.

  Nadine wasn’t supposed to be over until August, with Sandra. At least that had been the news she’d last heard.

  She felt disenchanted and let down by the very people she had once thought were her friends. Or lovers. She stopped to wipe the tears that welled in her eyes.

  Gabriel had been so cold, to the point that he’d almost told her he couldn’t see her. She understood that the legal problems between Spiral and Flight also impacted the Zimmerman Group, but yet she couldn’t be sure it wasn’t Gabriel’s way of pushing her away.

  This, together with the sparse communication between them while he’d been away, all tied in.

  She regained her composure enough to walk on, clutching her bag to her shoulder tighter than ever. Drawing in a long breath she walked along the street lost in her thoughts. Her heart was heavy and her mind in turmoil.

  She should never have gone to see him. It had been a last minute compulsive thought that had consumed her. Unable to understand his aloofness, she’d decided to pass by in order to catch him in an unguarded moment, so that she could see his reaction to her.

  And
now she had.

  Perhaps this was for the best. After all, she could see how strong his love for his son was. A man like that—there was no reason why he couldn’t go on to have more children with someone else.

  She could never be that someone and she wasn’t about to make him suffer her fate. Edgy once more, unable to think positive thoughts, she wished she had talked herself out of turning up at his office.

  What had she been thinking? Just like when she’d gone to his hotel room, did she think that by turning up at his office, he might tell her how much he missed her? That he might tell her she meant something to him?

  Maybe that night with Gabriel, with her handing herself to him on a silver platter, she’d made it all too easy for him.

  She’s been crazy to think Gabriel Valois might want anything to do with her.

  For the rest of the week, and into the next Tanya buried herself in the work she’d brought back from Milan. She also caught up as best as she could on the work that had culminated in Paris while she had been away. With the Flight campaign on hold, she was able to remove herself completely from anything to do with Gabriel.

  The convention at the Stormont soon became yesterday’s news. And with the coldness between them dividing them, Tanya withdrew into herself.

  Chapter 32

  “Hello stranger!”

  Nadine breezed into Tanya’s office with her auburn curls flying behind her like wildfire.

  Tanya rose to her feet in surprise, and felt Nadine’s arms around her. “I didn’t expect you to come in today!” She exclaimed, “But I am so happy to see you.”

  If anything, having Nadine here would lift her spirits. “You’re alone? No Zimmerman in tow to ‘fix’ things for us?” she asked peeking behind Nadine’s shoulder.

  Nadine laughed and waived away her concerns. “No, I’ve already told you. I’m not here to fix things. There isn’t anything to fix as far as Flight is concerned. I know you don’t believe me but I did bring my visit forward, as I keep telling you. If there is a surprise it’s that Ethan’s coming over too.”

  “Ooooh! Really?” Tanya warmed to the news, but again, it was news to her. “That’s wonderful. When?”

  Nadine looked at her and frowned. “Tomorrow. It was a last minute decision. But I thought you knew?”

  Tanya shook her head, and Nadine continued. “He’s been working hard with the furniture company and they want more tables! He wants a break, he told me. Paris in the summer seemed the perfect escape.”

  “Nice.”

  “And Sandra will be here at the end of the week, as you already know and then she’s taking a few weeks off from work. It made sense to come now rather than later.”

  Tanya looked puzzled. “What’s going on with Sandra? Is it still the same thing as before?”

  Nadine smiled at her. “You’ll have to ask her—you’ll have plenty of time together.”

  Tanya rolled her eyes and groaned. “You’ll still be here then, right?” She didn’t relish the idea of spending time alone entertaining Sandra. Even Thierry would be hard pressed to keep the woman happy.

  Nadine nodded. “I’ll still be here. But don’t worry about Sandra, it’s all worked out for her. You’ll see. Hey, listen—what’s this thing with Gabriel you conveniently forgot to tell me about?”

  Tanya’s ears perked up. “What thing with Gabriel?”

  “How long have the two of you been together?” Nadine angled her head, gave her a raised eyebrow.

  Tanya frowned. “We’re not together.” She replied truthfully.

  “Really?” asked Nadine sarcastically.

  “Really.”

  “So how come we’re all meeting up sometime—the four of us?”

  “Which four?” This was ridiculous, she had no idea what Nadine was talking about. “Has Thierry put you up to this?”

  “Thierry? No.” Nadine replied, perplexed. “He hasn’t mentioned this to you at all?”

  “Who hasn’t mentioned what to me?” Tanya sat down and tried frantically to remember if she’d completely forgotten an email or a recent phone conversation that clearly was of great importance. “Nadine? What’s going on?”

  “Ethan and Gabriel. I thought you knew.”

  “What about Ethan and Gabriel?” she asked, as Nadine continued to stare at her in confusion.

  Impatient, Tanya asked, “You’re all best friends all of a sudden?”

  Startled by the tone of Tanya’s voice, Nadine replied. “Well, we did get to spend a few evenings with him when he was in San Francisco. Luckily that was before the whole legal stuff with Spiral blew up.”

  “So, what are you saying about Ethan and Gabriel?”

  “Just that when Gabriel found out Ethan was coming over he suggested we could meet up, now that all the problems with Spiral—”

  “Gabriel suggested this?” He could talk to them but not her?

  Nadine shook her head. “Does it bother you that they talk? It’s just that when Gabriel was in San Francisco, we hung out together a couple of evenings, when we went to dinner with Russell and Michael. Obviously that was just before the lawsuit came out of nowhere.”

  “It bothers me that he’s been talking to Ethan and you but not me.”

  Nadine’s face relaxed and she slipped her body down along the chair, resting her head on the cushy headrest. “Honey, Ethan’s been talking to him about places to visit. Not me—I’m part of the Zimmerman Group. Gabriel merely suggested a few places we might want to visit.”

  “I bet he did.” It pained her to know that the three of them seemed to have formed a clandestine little group. She felt hurt enough already by the way he had suddenly cut her off, but to hear the things Nadine was telling her, only made her sadder, and angrier. It was all so up and down and all over the place. She wasn’t sure exactly how she felt.

  “Are you two not talking or anything at the moment?” asked Nadine.

  “That’s an understatement,” said Tanya, propping her elbows on the table.

  “It’s just that a few times, Gabriel just…I don’t know, it was little things he’d let slip.”

  “What things?” Tanya suddenly felt anxious.

  “Oh, nothing specific, no details but whenever your name came up in the conversation, Gabriel would suddenly become interested. He’d talk about you. Like he’d mention the Stormont, on the Friday night, before dinner, and then he said something about your presentation. Good things, only. And then he said something about how you’d handled the ad campaign. Ethan said he talked about you more often than not.”

  Tanya frowned.

  Nadine looked at her. “And you know, men are really slow to pick up on these vibes, so when Ethan tells me one night that he thinks Gabriel has a thing for you—I mean, come on, this is Ethan we’re talking about, he never picks up on this stuff—so when Ethan tells me, I take notice. And the next time we go out with Gabriel, I’m all ears. It took me less than a minute to figure out that the man is falling for you.”

  Tanya blushed. Just because Nadine had a theory, it didn’t mean a thing. She crossed her arms. “There’s nothing to tell.”

  Nadine mirrored her moves. “Nothing to tell, huh?”

  “Whatever small thing we shared, and it only happened at the Stormont—”

  “So you did share a thing? Was it the night we ran into you at the Roman Gardens?”

  Tanya shook her head.

  Nadine looked crestfallen. Her eyes narrowed, “The next night?”

  Tanya threw up her hands in defeat. “Just that one time.” No need to tell her friend how many times they’d made love that night.

  Nadine’s face brightened. “I knew it! I knew there was something. I could feel it.” She was almost ready to burst with excitement. “This is the best news ever. I knew this was going to be a great trip. And now that you two are—”

  Tanya didn’t understand. “But there really is nothing going on. Not anymore. I’ll tell you what would be the best news ever—if Spiral dropped their
lawsuit.”

  “Spiral has dropped its lawsuit,” said Nadine, lifting her head up, and sitting up straight. “Don’t tell me you didn’t know that either?”

  “I didn’t.” Tanya frowned so hard she could feel the tension building between her eyebrows.

  Nadine sighed. “There is no contract between Spiral and Flight. There was a contract between the previous company, before they were acquired by Flight. Since that company no longer exists, the contract is null and void. I never did think they had much of a leg to stand on. Michael was always dubious about the whole thing from the start. Hasn’t Gabriel told you?” Nadine paused for a moment to take a breath.

  This was news to Tanya, and no, she didn’t know, and no, most definitely, Gabriel hadn’t told her a thing. They hadn’t spoken at all since she’d paid him a visit at his office.

  “When did you hear?” asked Tanya with interest.

  “Yesterday.” Nadine looked at her, puzzled. “What’s wrong?”

  “Gabriel hasn’t said a thing to me,” said Tanya wearily. “Last week he mentioned you’d be coming, but since then we’ve not had any contact. I was only good for a one-night stand, and nothing more it seems.”

  “It doesn’t make sense,” said Nadine. “He’s been talking about arranging for us all to get together when Ethan arrives.”

  Tanya gave a cruel laugh. “This is the first I’ve heard of it.” The two women looked at one another across the desk.

  “You should know he always stood up for you when the whole lawsuit reared its ugly head.”

  “Oh?”

  Nadine continued, “He didn’t have to stand up for you. You had no part in the stuff that went wrong. But Gabriel always stood up for you. Think about it Tanya, you weren’t there. He didn’t do it to please you. He did it because he probably cares about you.”

  “So why would he give me the cold shoulder? He said it would be best to lie low because of the lawsuit. But a couple of words here and there wouldn’t have gone amiss. I have no idea where I stand.”

  “He was probably more pragmatic about the whole thing and didn’t want your name to get mixed up in all of this. I think you ought to cut the guy some slack.”