Lexy’s Little Matchmaker

by Lynda Sandoval

  A few weeks? Lexy considered that. “It is out of character, isn’t it? I’m a happy person. I’ve always been a happy person.”

  “So, what changed?”

  I saw the possibility of a future with a man. Lexy warred with herself. Should she talk about it? Though Kimberly was a dear friend, she wasn’t in Lexy’s nosy, matchmaking inner circle. It might do her good to have an objective opinion. “Kim? How do you know when it’s time to take a risk on someone, regardless of what you have to give up? How do you know when to take a chance on…love?”

  To her surprise, Kimberly paled. She banged the side of her fist against the body of the machine. “Oh, no. Dammit! I knew the stupid TG grapevine would get me. I was going to wait until after the session to talk to you. I mean, I just found out yesterday. Who told you?”

  Lexy blinked in confusion. Weren’t they talking about her and Drew? “Told me what?”

  “That…that I’m leaving, silly. What else?” The therapist flashed a pristine diamond solitaire on the third finger of her left hand.

  “Oh, my God.”

  “Yeah, Bruce finally coughed up the rock. Can you believe it? And since his residency is in Boston—” a look of horrified realization came over Kimberly’s face as she no doubt caught the trembling in Lexy’s chin. Kim pressed her palms to the sides of her own face. “Wait. Oh, no. No. We’re talking about two different things, aren’t we?”

  Hot tears stung the back of Lexy’s eyelids. At least someone was in love. “I think we are, Kimberly, but I’m suddenly far more interested in what you have to say.”

  Kimberly’s expression fell. “You hadn’t heard?”

  “No.”

  “And I blew it.”

  Lexy’s emotions were too edgy. Unexpectedly, she burst into tears, covering her eyes with one hand. Why had she been crying so much lately? Not only was she happy by nature, but she was the calm, collected type. It was part of what made her so good at her job. Calm, collected, that is until Drew Kimball blew into town.

  “Lexy. It’s okay.”

  “You’re seriously leaving the Gulch?”

  “I am. I have to follow my heart. I’m so sorry.”

  Lexy stumbled slightly on the machine, and Kimberly immediately powered it down so Lexy wouldn’t get hurt. Once it had come to a full stop, Lexy searched the other woman’s eyes. “When?”

  “God, I never intended to spring it on you like this.”

  “No. No. Don’t be ridiculous. I’m so happy for you,” Lexy said, in a watery, blubbery tone that completely belied her words. She reached for Kimberly’s hand and inspected the ring. “You deserve this happiness. You’ve wanted this for so long.”

  “Thank you.” Kimberly helped lower her back down into her chair, then implored her, “But you deserve it, too, Lex. When are you going to grab for your happiness?”

  Lexy waved the question away, not wanting to even dip her toes in the swamp of her own discontent anymore. It hardly seemed relevant. She wasn’t going to taint Kimberly’s news with her own crap. Kimberly had been waiting for Bruce to pop the question as long as Lexy had known her. Of course, he’d been in medical school, but still. “This is about you. Your special moment.” She shook her hair back and struggled to brighten. “I assume I’ll be invited to the wedding?”

  “Of course.” The two women beamed at each other, although Lexy’s chin still quivered.

  “When do you leave?” she asked softly.

  Kimberly glanced wistfully around the rehab room. “You want to finish our workout first?”

  “No, I can’t. Just tell me.” Lexy bit her bottom lip, bracing herself for the worst.

  Kimberly took a deep breath in, then let it out. “Two weeks.”

  “Oh, God.” Lexy’s hands shook. She pulled the Velcro closures apart and peeled her lifting gloves off the tips of her fingers, then dropped the gloves to the floor.

  “Please don’t worry,” Kimberly pleaded, sounding worried herself. “They’re going to hire another therapist. Anyone would be lucky to work with you, and in this amazing facility.” She widened her arms as if taking it all in.

  “Yeah, but he or she won’t be you. You’ve been the best, most inspiring trainer.”

  Kimberly took both of Lexy’s hands in her own. “And you’ve been the most inspiring patient. I’m going to miss you so much. Not just working with you, but your amazing drive and big heart. Most of all, your friendship.”

  “We’ll stay in touch,” Lexy said. “You’ll always be my friend.”

  “I know. Now, what was it you asked me before I accidentally blew it with my news?”

  “Nothing. It wasn’t anything.” Lexy sniffed and pulled back. “Can we…Do you mind if we call it a day? It’s been a whirlwind couple of weeks, and with this news—even though I’m happy for you—I’m just not up for a workout.”

  Kimberley’s eyes fell into worry. “Do you want to sit and talk?”

  Lexy gave her a tremulous smile. “No. I don’t want my sadness over losing you to affect your happiness over Bruce or the ring or the wedding or Boston. You should go on and enjoy the day. I’m afraid I’d be poor company.”

  “You’re sure?”

  Lexy nodded. “I’m just going to hang out in here for a bit and think. Alone time is just the ticket.”

  Kimberly stood and looped the strap of her duffel crosswise over her toned body. “But we’ll work out together for the next two weeks, yes?”

  “Yes. Definitely.” Lexy smoothed her palms together. “I just need to absorb the news and I’ll be just fine.”

  Kimberly leaned in and kissed Lexy on the cheek. “Lock up behind you, okay?”

  Lexy didn’t trust herself to speak, so she nodded again, biting the insides of her cheeks. And with that, her beloved physical rehab therapist and longtime training partner…was gone. She had two weeks to figure out how in the hell she was going to be ready for the first race of the season. Or if she even wanted to bother.

  You have to do it.

  Her inner voice was right. She’d never been one to stop living when life threw her a curveball. Now wasn’t the time to start.

  But had she really been living at all?

  She toyed with calling her friends for moral support, but as much as she loved them, she couldn’t stomach the onslaught. Another idea popped into her head—a crazier idea, but one that made her heart pound.

  It could be a brilliant segue. Or it might not work. But what did she have to lose? Her training methods were superspecific to her condition, of course. A lot to consider. But, this could be just the olive branch she’d been searching for.

  Reach out for your happiness, Lexy. What do you have to lose? Other than everything…

  Drew had no idea what had prompted Lexy’s call after so much pointed silence, but he wasn’t going to question it. He just wanted to see her, had wanted to see her since the last time. So, when she had asked him to come over to the hospital rehab room, he hadn’t hesitated. His employee, Rick, was working at the gym that morning so Drew had time to catch up on paperwork. But Lexy was infinitely more important than paperwork. Nothing would keep him from saying yes to her request.

  He was more than a little curious to find out whether or not she’d come clean about the last time they’d seen each other during lunch at the diner. What he’d done or said to kick her into fight-or-flight mode, emphasis on flight. Try as he might, he hadn’t been able to figure it out.

  Following the directions she’d provided, he traversed the polished hallways of High Country Medical Center and, before long, he made a sharp right turn into a rehab room that was so amazing and well-equipped, he had to pause in the doorway and take it all in.

  Wow.

  He could understand why Lexy chose to work out here instead of his gym. This place could accommodate her needs in a way no mainstream gym ever would. His eyes scanned the LiteGait treadmill and other adaptive equipment with something akin to lust. And then he caught sight of her, standing by the mats
with the help of the Canadian crutches she’d told Ian she could use now and then, her chair safely behind her. It was interesting to see her standing, but he found it also didn’t matter. She was just as beautiful sitting or standing. She was the same Lexy who made him want to make peace with his past and work on building some kind of a future.

  His heart squeezed.

  “Hey, stranger,” he said, his voice unintentionally husky. She was just…so standout, such a strong, beautiful, determined woman.

  Her gaze shot to his, alarm in those gorgeous green eyes. “Drew. Hi.”

  It was all she said, but hearing his name on her lips ignited a slow burn deep inside. “Long time, no see.”

  “Yeah…I’m…sorry about that.”

  He shrugged off her apology. None of that mattered now that they were in the same room together. “This place is unbelievable,” he said, crossing the room toward her. “I have equipment envy.”

  Her lips quivered as she maneuvered back into her chair and set the crutches aside. “It takes a strong man to admit such a thing, Drew, I’ll give you that.”

  They laughed at his unintentional double entendre, although it sounded nervous on both their parts.

  Lexy cleared her throat and craned to look past him. “Where’s Ian?”

  “Staying with the neighbor. I…wanted us to have some time to talk alone.” He hiked one shoulder. “It’s been a long time, and that kid tends to steal every scene, you know.”

  “Yes. He’s a great little guy.” She paused, seemed to shore up her resolve. “I miss him, Drew.”

  Carefully, not wanting to break the spell, he sat down on a weight bench across from her. He took his time. Now that she’d invited him back into her life, he was going to make damn sure he didn’t screw it up again. “You know you’re always welcome in our world, Lex. He misses you, too. More than you realize. You’re his number-one hero.”

  “I’m sorry about…letting him down like that.” She cut her glance away, picked at an invisible thread on her track pants. “I never meant to just disappear.”

  “What happened?” he asked softly.

  “Oh, Drew.” She sighed. “There are things you don’t know. Things you should know before…if we were ever to…what I mean to say is—”

  “Just tell me.”

  To his surprise, her gorgeous, slanted eyes were watery when she looked at him. “First, I’m sorry for not returning your calls. I’m not usually rude. I just…”

  “Freaked?”

  Her gorgeous face fell into a mask of misery. “Yeah. Sort of.”

  “It’s okay. That happens. But, I’m just curious why? Was it something I did? Or said?”

  “No, nothing like that. You don’t understand.”

  He moved the bench closer and took one of Lexy’s hands in his, absentmindedly smoothing his thumb over her soft knuckles. “Then, help me understand. I really want to.”

  With a quick, nervous dart of her tongue, she moistened her lips. “I haven’t…dated since before the accident.”

  He nodded. He’d figured that was it.

  “But that’s not the problem,” she said, completely dispelling his previous thought.

  Okay, that surprised him. If she wasn’t shy about dating or getting to know a man because of her condition…“Then what?”

  “The thing is—” her throat worked over a couple of swallows “—I’m a lot more like…Gina…than you know.”

  Now that wasn’t at all what he expected to hear. From where he stood, Lexy Cabrera was nothing at all like Gina. He blinked a couple times, searching, seeking some sort of similarity. “I don’t understand, Lexy. You mean because you both deal with a physical condition?”

  “No, no. Worse,” she said, almost mournfully. “Way worse. It’s the recklessness aspect, I’m afraid.”

  He frowned. None of this made sense. “I don’t follow. You take great care of yourself, Lexy. Gina didn’t. That’s how Gina was reckless.”

  “I know. It’s not that.”

  A thought dawned on him as if someone had thrown open a door to the bright Colorado sunlight. “Wait. Is this about your accident?”

  She nodded, and the pensiveness returned.

  But that was a lifetime ago. “Talk to me about it, Lex. Nothing you could say would change how much I admire and respect you.”

  “Don’t be so sure.” Her hand started trembling within his grasp. “But I…actually, I need to talk to you about it, scared or not. I want to. Because, strange as it sounds, I’ve grown to really care about you and Ian, and I don’t want to avoid you anymore. It’s been weighing on my mind.”

  “And making you hide from us?”

  She twisted her lips in apology. “Yes, and I’m miserable.” She uttered a little nonlaugh as if to punctuate her point.

  Their gazes caught and held. “For the record, we’ve been miserable, too. And I’m listening,” he said, never letting her hand go, holding it a little tighter to still the trembling. He could see her quickened pulse in the side of her neck and couldn’t imagine what had her so frightened.

  “It happened on prom night,” she said, in a monotone. “The accident. We were…stupid, Drew. Kids being stupid. That’s not an excuse—it’s just what is.”

  “Okay.”

  She blew out a sigh. Tossed her hair. The pain on her face was plain. “We were drinking. It never should’ve happened like it did, but it happened. And now every time there’s a prom-night accident in the country, the newspapers bring it up again, because we lost so many. It rips open that wound.” She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. “Over and over and over. Troublesome Gulch is to prom-night fatalities what Columbine is to school shootings.”

  “Wow. I had no idea.” A beat passed. He didn’t quite know how to ask, but he knew he had to. He cleared his throat. “Did everyone else…I mean, were you the only survivor?”

  “Oh, no. No, I’m sorry. I thought you knew more about it than that.”

  “I don’t know anything, Lex.”

  “Weird. Everyone knows everything in the Gulch, so I’m just used to that.” She caressed his fingers gently with her own. “I figured you knew. You’ve been hanging out with Brody a bit, and…”

  “I have, but he said it was your story to tell. And as for the grapevine, I’m not quite in the loop yet. I’m not much for gossip.”

  “You moved to the wrong town if that’s the case,” she said ruefully, before pressing her lips together. “Well, there were eight of us involved. The other survivors are Cagney, Erin…and Brody.”

  After a moment of shocked silence, he blew out a long breath. It made so much more sense that Brody had been so empathetic to him and Ian about their loss that day on the mountain. “All of you were there?”

  “My best friends, yes. It’s one of the reasons we’ve stayed so connected, and I’m so grateful to have them in my life. But there is always a hole where the others should’ve been. Mick, Randy, Kevin and Tad. Vibrant. Alive. With families and futures. I think of them daily.”

  “I can imagine.”

  She stretched her neck side to side, as if to release an image from her mind. “It’s taken a long time, Drew, but the town’s healed. The survivors have, too, thank God. Everyone’s managed to work through the pain.”

  He saw a soul-deep sadness in her eyes that made him want to hold her. “Everyone?” he asked softly.

  The gaze that met his was steady, but she stayed quiet for a long time. Finally, she said, “Truth is, no. I haven’t healed. Not completely, and I’m not talking about a spinal cord injury. I need to get it off my chest before we can be friends.”

  “Go ahead.”

  She looked as if she were bracing herself for a punch. “The accident was my fault.”

  His stomach dropped. Five simple words, but they’d obviously changed the course of Lexy’s life forever. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, my fault. I caused it. It wouldn’t have happened except for my irresponsibility.” She paused, s
earched his face. “So, you see, my recklessness overshadows Gina’s, by leaps and bounds. She may have killed herself, which is heartbreaking for you and Ian, and so…sad. But, me?” Her fingers went cold in his hands. “I killed four innocent kids. And that’s never going away, Drew. Never.”

  Chapter Nine

  Lexy’s heart pounded in her chest as she waited for Drew to comment. To question. To say something. “Did you hear what I said?”

  He rattled his head around in confusion. “Yes. Okay, back up. I’m trying to understand here, to not read into your words. What do you mean exactly when you say your fault? You were driving drunk?”

  “No, no. My boyfriend was driving. And he wasn’t even drinking that I remember, at least not like the rest of us.” She looked at Drew and felt a sharp pang of regret. She knew there was no going back. The truth was out there, hanging between them like a thin sheet of glass, fragile and unsupported. Apt to shatter at any moment. She yearned to press her hand to that glass and have him do the same, to feel as if there were a way to connect. But Drew would likely realize exactly how much like Gina she was, exactly how poor a role model she would be for his son, and that would be it. So she didn’t approach the glass. She just waited.

  But once she’d learned how damaged he was by Gina’s recklessness, she knew she had two choices. Walk away, or tell him everything, for her own peace of mind. The walking away hadn’t worked. Now she had to give him a chance to run. Better now than after she became even more attached to him and Ian.

  She’d tried walking away, and it hadn’t worked.

  So now…

  “If you weren’t behind the wheel,” he said carefully, “how could it possibly be your fault?”

  She felt wild with wanting him to understand. “Because I…I was acting recklessly. Carrying on, distracting Randy.”

  He blinked. Twice. “Your boyfriend?”

  She nodded, lips pressed together. She couldn’t read him, and that was killing her. “I was climbing around the front of the SUV in that stupid, silky prom dress, and I slipped and knocked the steering wheel out of his hands. He tried to regain control, but he couldn’t. Me. It was all me.”