Shadow of Love: Love Changes Everything! Book 5 (The Shadow Series)

by Barbara Goss

  “After supper,” Julia insisted, and led Anna to the dining room.

  Caleb and Billy simply exchanged looks, and shrugged.

  Anna didn’t know what hit her. She’d been dragged, pinned, turned, and groomed so fast, yet, when she looked at her reflection in the mirror, she was surprised to see herself as a lady…a real lady. She’d watched real ladies getting out of beautiful carriages in downtown New Orleans, but she never imagined she’d ever be one. She almost resisted when Julia pulled her away from the mirror.

  Now here she was sitting at a formal dining table, not knowing how to behave. She simply stared at all the silverware in wonderment.

  Julia smiled patiently and showed her. “You use the fork nearest your plate for the salad. The other fork is for your meal, which comes next. If soup is served, you use the large spoon, and for tea, the smaller one.”

  Anna did as she was told, but when it came to the meat, it wouldn’t cut with her fork, and she looked up at Julia, helplessly.

  “Use the knife.” Julia pointed to it. “Cut it like so,” Julia demonstrated, putting her index finger on the top of the knife and she was able to slice easily through the beef.

  Anna was successful when she tried it, and felt proud of her accomplishment.

  After dinner, she refused tea or coffee. Billy, asked her to sit out on the porch and have a cup of lemonade with him, and she agreed.

  Once they were seated in adjacent rocking chairs, Billy said, “I want you to be sure that this arrangement will work for you, Anna.” He smiled at her. “I’m a minister, and I’m applying for a job. The church requires a married man for the position, and that’s what I need you for.

  “I’ve never craved getting married or having children, and I never imagined that finding a job as a single man would be so difficult. You can trust me, because I’m a man of God, but I want to be clear on how this arrangement will work, while there’s still time for you to change your mind.

  “First, there will be no romance or intimacy. I want to concentrate one hundred percent on my job without romantic distractions. This will be for life, because marriage is for life. Can you live your whole life without love and romance?”

  Anna thought about her mother and all of her “suitors.” She’d watched them come to the apartment and use all sorts of pretty words to make all sorts of promises, but after they’d gotten what they wanted, they seldom ever returned. As Anna began to grow from little girl to a young woman, several of her mother’s male friends tried to touch her. Although her mother always protected her, she constantly lived in fear that one of them would finally get to her. That’s when her mother started seeing her suitors elsewhere—she'd stopped bringing them home in order to keep Anna safe.

  Anna wanted no part of romance if that’s how it worked. Most of her mother’s suitors were married men. She’d heard a lot of the excuses as to why her suitors couldn’t stay longer, or why they couldn’t be seen with her mother in public, because they were married. If that’s how intimacy and romance worked, she was just fine without it. Her mother had contacted syphilis from one of the men who'd slept with her. Anna couldn't help but wonder if the men then took the wicked disease home to be shared with their wives. She cringed.

  If she agreed to this arrangement, she’d have a home for life. She did think she might want a child some day, but if Billy’s sister could adopt, maybe, in time, Billy would agree to that, too. As far as love went, she’d never had it, so there was nothing to miss. Maybe if she had a child to love, she could endure life without romance. At least then she’d have someone to love and to love her.

  She’d made up her mind. “Yes, I agree to those terms, but on one condition.”

  “What’s that?” Billy asked.

  “After a few years, if I want a child, you will agree to at least consider adopting one like your sister did?”

  Billy seemed to be thinking about her request, then he shrugged, “Sure. Why not? As long as the child is past the age of crying at night and all that stuff.”

  Anna smiled. “I accept your arrangement.”

  “You know, Anna, I like you, and I think you and I will get along just fine,” Billy said. “Since we’ll be sharing a home, it’s important that we like each other.”

  Anna felt good about the arrangement too, for she’d have a home and never have to worry about where her next morsel of food would come from. She had no family to care what she did, and this satisfied the strong need she felt to belong somewhere, and to someone.

  This Billy seemed like a very nice man, from a good family. She liked his soft-spoken words and understanding. She’d never known a man who didn’t want a woman for but one thing, but she found him refreshing, and she believed him. No one could lie with such an honest expression and sincere blue eyes.

  “Can I ask a personal question?” Billy asked.

  She nodded.

  “Have you ever—” Billy gestured with his hands as he tried to think of his next words.

  “No.” Anna said. “And I’ve no wish to, after all I’ve seen.”

  “Tell me about it,” Billy said.

  Anna briefly told him about her mother’s occupation, the disease she’d contracted, and even how she had to fend off a few of her mother’s lovers. Billy shook his head and wore a sad expression on his face.

  “Thank you for telling me all that,” Billy said. “Now I have a better understanding of your reasons for agreeing to this arrangement. You can rest assured you'll never have anything to fear from me.”

  Anna’s only concern now was how to act the part of a minister’s wife. She’d never met a minister or a minister’s wife, so how would she know how to act like one? She was glad that Julia had promised to help her.

  Julia worked with Anna all week long. They practiced sitting with her hands folded on her lap, sipping tea, shaking hands, speaking softly, and not using words like ‘ain’t,’ even in casual conversation.

  “Always remember, Anna, when you don’t know what to say, keep quiet and simply smile. Silence is sometimes the best way. Speak when you’re spoken too, and only say things that are important.”

  Just days before the interview, Julia, Caleb, Anna and Billy went to Salina, and Anna and Billy were married at the Methodist church. The minister had been told ahead of time to omit the ‘kiss the bride’ part of the ceremony.

  They returned to Abilene where Anna and Billy would be staying with Julia and Caleb until Billy was hopefully hired, and the home the church owned and used to house their ministers was ready for him.

  “Have you ever been in the minister’s house, Caleb?” Billy asked.

  “Oh, many times. The Armstrong and Jeffries families have been close since Jonas and Ivy Jeffries married. Hiram Jeffries was one of the best ministers Grace Church ever had,” Caleb said.

  “I have a lot to live up to, then. That’s why I strive for complete and uninterrupted concentration on the job,” Billy said. “What’s the house like?”

  “It not as big as this house, but it's plenty big for the two of you. The Jeffries had three daughters, and they had enough room. Martin has six kids, and he somehow managed. I think you’ll like the house. It has three bedrooms, a sitting room, large kitchen, and a study. I hear that the Martin’s have already moved out, and some of the men from church are doing some painting and repairing before the new minister moves in.”

  “Will you be at the interview tomorrow?” Billy asked.

  “Yes, and so will Jonas. He and I will vote for you, and there are only two others on the panel, so you’ll have to get at least one of them to vote for you to get the job.”

  “Will they be interviewing anyone else?”

  “There’s just one other applicant, and he interviews before you. He’s an older man—too old, if you ask me. We have a very young congregation, so I think you’d be perfect,” Caleb said.

  “Should I bring Anna?”

  “Yes, I think you should bring her, and leave her outside the interview roo
m on a bench while you interview, and if they want to meet her, you can bring her in. It can only be a plus for you,” Caleb said.

  Billy nodded.

  “Did you discuss all the ramifications of the arrangement with Anna?” Caleb asked.

  “I did, and she is sure about the agreement. I wasn’t sure why a lovely young lady like her would want to agree to my terms, but then she admitted to having some bad experiences in her early home life. Maybe when we know each other better she’ll want to talk with me more about them. She doesn’t have any family, and she has nowhere else to go. Her only other alternative was in Lucy’s den of iniquity, and she didn’t want that. I think that speaks well for her, don’t you?”

  “Yes. She sounds perfect for you, and I feel better knowing what you are saving her from too,” Caleb said. “But most importantly, I know you will be a perfect fit for Grace Church.”

  “Thank you, and be sure to call me William tomorrow.”

  Anna had spent a lot of time with Julia, and the two of them bonded, almost immediately. Julia was the big sister Anna never had. She was so lovely, and always spoke with such gentle patience around Anna. She never cringed at some of Anna’s crude language or habits, but she showed her, instead, how to be a proper young lady. Anna felt thrilled to have been given this opportunity to change her life for the better, and she learned quickly.

  Julia had more dresses in her walk-in closet than Anna had ever seen. Julia was generous, as she'd altered almost half of them to give to Anna, along with some shoes, underthings, and accessories. Anna could tell by their house that they were well-to-do people—they had property, a gorgeous, palatial home, and a large stable housing more than a few horses.

  Today, Julia was giving Anna a few cleaning tips—although Julia had a housekeeper, she sometimes did things herself. She was used to keeping her house spotless, even in the rustic, old cottage where she'd lived before she'd come to Abilene and married Caleb. When she was done, the housekeeper gave Anna some cooking lessons.

  Every day, Julia sat with Anna and taught her the Bible. Julia told her she couldn’t pass as a minister’s wife without at least some knowledge of the Bible. At first, she dreaded the lessons and thought they were boring, but after a while, she found them fascinating.

  God loved her? She didn’t think anyone loved her. Knowing that gave her a warm feeling inside, and she spent a lot of time thinking about how there was a real God somewhere overhead, looking down on her, and loving her. When Julia told her God was her father, Anna was amazed. She’d never had a father before, and it felt so good to know that she finally had one. She’d asked her mother once who her father was, and her mother had shrugged and said, “I don’t know. Some sailor, probably.”

  Julia also taught her how to pray, or talk to God, and Anna was thrilled. She could actually talk to God, like He was her real father. She had a feeling she’d love being a minister’s wife. She already liked Billy, and she loved Julia. Caleb was harder to get to know, but he truly loved Julia, and sometimes she couldn’t help but stare at them. She’d never seen people in love before. They actually cared about each other’s feelings and their likes and dislikes. They were constantly exchanging looks in a way Anna had never seen people do before—not lecherous looks, like her mother’s suitors had often given her, but looks that made their eyes sparkle, and their faces glow.

  Anna was shocked when Julia told her about how her own mother had died young and Julia was left to bring up her brothers, Miles and Billy. Julia told her about the rundown shack she lived in, and how the only dish she knew how to cook was stew. Anna realized that God had truly blessed Julia because now she lived in a gorgeous home, and had the love of a wonderful man, and an adopted son who seemed to idolize them both.

  Anna got along with Alfie, too. She thought he was the cutest little boy. They played checkers some nights, Alfie always won, but not because Anna had let him—he was just good at the game.

  Julia and Caleb’s house had six bedrooms, so naturally, Anna had her own, and Billy had his own. Anna had always had a bed to herself, so she slept well in the beautiful bedroom she’d been given. All in all, Anna felt the happiest she could ever remember. She had a family, and she felt she had a place in life, and a purpose.

  Chapter 4

  Anna could see that Billy had taken pains with his appearance for the interview. Julia helped him and Anna prepare for the occasion. Anna could tell Billy was pleased with her appearance, for he gave her a thorough once over, and then thanked Julia for a job well done.

  Anna wore a light blue dress with a lace collar that buttoned right below her chin— very proper looking. She didn’t wear any jewelry except for a solitary gold cross around her neck, and the gold band that Billy had given her at the wedding ceremony, which didn’t show as she wore gloves. On top of her head sat a dainty bonnet that allowed for a few of her brown curls to show around the edges.

  He smiled his approval and winked at her. “You look perfect,” he said.

  She smiled and knew he’d told her the truth, for she could hardly believe her reflection in the mirror.

  Once at the church, Billy sat with Anna and Julia on a bench outside of the interview room. As Billy waited his turn, he played nervously with his hands, and prayed.

  Finally, the older man who’d applied for the job came out, nodded at them, and left. Shortly thereafter, Billy was called in.

  Julia touched his hand as he stood. “You’ll do fine,” she whispered.

  When Billy entered the room and took the seat that was opposite the panel of elders. He recognized Caleb and Jonas, but didn’t know the other men.

  “You’re William Croft?” the older man in the middle asked.

  “Yes, sir,” Billy said.

  “I’m Harold Jenkins.” He pointed to each member of the panel as he said their names. “This is Ralph Mueller, Jonas Armstrong, Caleb Armstrong, and Ben Smith, and we all thank you for coming today.”

  Billy nodded to each of them as they were introduced.

  The panel asked Billy questions about his education, even though they had his transcripts in their hands, Nevertheless, Billy answered each of their questions.

  “Are you married?” Ben Smith asked.

  “Newly so,” Billy told them.

  “Any children?” Harold Jenkins asked.

  “Not yet, but we’re talking about it.” He was glad that Anna had asked him about adopting, as it made his statement the truth.

  They then asked him his viewpoint on Biblical principles and counseling, and he was satisfied they accepted his answers, and they seemed pleased.

  “If you get the position,” Jonas asked, “how soon will you be able to start?”

  “Immediately,” Billy said. “The sooner the better.”

  “William,” Caleb said, “replacing ministers isn’t something we like to do frequently, for it’s best for a congregation to grow spiritually with the same leader for as long as possible. Do you plan to stay in Abilene, and if so why?”

  “I do plan to stay. This is my home, Mr. Armstrong. My sister and brother, and nieces and nephews are all here in Abilene. I can’t think of any other place I’d rather be. This job is not a stepping stone to a better position in a bigger church; this is my home.”

  All of the elders smiled and nodded. Billy felt thankful that Caleb had helped him by asking that important question. The panel knew that Billy was Caleb’s brother-in-law but they followed protocol, and kept formalities during the interviews.

  Harold Jenkins then stood and said, “If you’ll step outside for a moment, we need to deliberate. We’ll come out for you when we’re ready.”

  “Thank you for the interview, and for your consideration,” Billy said, and left the room.

  He came out to the bench outside the interview room, and sat with Julia and Anna. They both smiled up at him and asked about the interview.

  “I feel good about it,” he said. “I’m going to pray about it now.” He bowed his head and was quiet.


  He heard Anna whisper to Julia, “How can God hear him if he isn’t praying out loud?”

  In the middle of his prayer he had to smile. He heard Julia tell her, “God can hear your thoughts when you pray. He knows everything. It’s called omnipresence.”

  The door opened, the elders came out, and Jonas announced, “William Croft, you’re the new minister of Grace Church, by a unanimous decision. Congratulations! All four elders took turns slapping him on the back, and shaking hands with him.

  Billy felt joy like he’d never felt before. He held his hand out to the women on the bench. “I’d like you to meet my lovely wife, Anna, and you probably already know my sister, Julia.”

  Anna smiled politely and greeted each of them in a ladylike manner. Billy gave Julia a look that said, “Wow, well done, sis.”

  He gave Anna a proud look and a wink, to let her know she had done well.

  Caleb, Julia, and Jonas helped Anna and Billy move into the minister’s house. Anna walked from room to room in disbelief. How could this possible be her home? It was lovely. As she strolled through the house watching men carry in boxes and furniture, she thought about the places she'd lived in the past, and by comparison, she felt as if she’d married royalty. She felt as if she were Cinderella. She’d come to Abilene in a worn dress and scuffed shoes in search of an aunt whom she barely remembered, and ended up in a palace with a handsome husband who would provide her with kindness and security. What more could a person want? Had it been a God whom she didn't even know existed until recently who had made this all happen?

  Julia had said that God loved her. Had He looked down, seen the life she had to endure, and lifted her up to this? If so, then loving Him back would be easy. She vowed to give Him thanks by being the best minister’s wife she could be.

  The house had two entrances—a front door leading to the sitting room from a small foyer, and a back door that was for entering by way of the kitchen. The sitting room was about as big as Anna’s whole apartment in Louisiana. It also had a stone fireplace. The house was furnished with practical, but lovely furniture. Against the sitting room wall and near the kitchen, a straight staircase let to three, goodly-sized bedrooms upstairs.