The Witch-Herbalist of the Remote Town

by Amos Tutuola

  And the only one eye of this man had swelled out as when a big snail moves out from its shell. And this meant he had eight kinds of serious burdens: he was lame, he had a hump, goitre, boils, dented forehead, compact nose, non-stop hiccups and a twisted body. But No. 9 burden which was “one eye” was ruled out from being “a serious burden” after the Omniscient Witch-Mother and her paramount chiefs and noble men and women had argued strongly with one another for a number of twinklings whether to count it to be the “No. 9 serious burden” for this man. So at last all of them agreed that as being blind in one eye was common among humans it should not be counted as “a serious burden”.

  But when I fastened my eyes on this man for some twinklings with marvel and fear, then as usual, and as the Witch-Mother and her members were still arguing warmly about “No. 9 burden”, my two “minds” who were my partners, etc. began to argue with each other. The first “mind” said with wonder: “Can the Witch-Herbalist free this man from all of his burdens?” But the second “mind” did not hesitate to reply: “Yes, I believe the Witch-Herbalist will certainly take all of his burdens away!” But when my two “minds” had argued like that with wonder and stopped, it came to my “memory” at this time that: “So far as I or as one of the burdened people are concerned, my own burden would be very easy for the Mother to free me from it”, this means, to make my barren wife pregnant.

  But this thought had hardly come to my “memory” and given me sound assurance when my first “mind” said: “Although the Mother will give you the juju-medicine or soup which will make your wife pregnant, you will not keep to the warning of the Mother and of her Covenanter. So this will make things difficult for you and your wife when you return to your town!” Again, the other one which was the second “mind” and which never deceived or confused me, added: “Even he and his wife will be sacrificed to the god of the river at last!” Again, the first “mind” supported the second “mind” at the same time: “Yes, both of them will be sacrificed to the god, but together with their property!” Again, the second “mind” made the first “mind” to understand that: “Although he and his wife and their property will be sacrificed to the god of the river, both of them will succeed at last, and then they will return to the town with honour and a newborn baby!”

  But when both my “minds” had argued with each other like that, I was much embarrassed so that I nearly fainted because I did not understand their arguments yet at all, especially as they mentioned in their arguments that my wife and I would be sacrificed to the god of the river which was in my town.

  However, when I became conscious, I continued to fasten my eyes on this horrible man with great horror. But when the Mother saw that all the burdens of his body were too heavy for him to walk or move to the altar by himself, she told four of her attendants to carry him to the front of the altar. When he had been carried to the front of the altar the Mother hesitated and looked at him with much surprise for more than five twinklings. After that she raised her head up and started to look at the ceiling of the hall for about ten twinklings before she dropped her head down again. But as I observed, her attitude showed that she had not seen such a burdened man, whose burdens were so many and terrible as those of this man, before.

  But at last she asked from the lame, etc. man how he had managed to reach or come to the Remote Town. This Eight-Burden Man explained with hiccups that he had crawled from his faraway town to the Remote Town when he was informed that the Mother would take his burdens away unfailingly if he could get in touch with her. Then the Mother shook her head up and down, and she asked from him again how many years it took him to crawl to the Remote Town. The man explained with his usual hiccups that it took him more than eight years before he could crawl to the town.

  When he explained like that, the Mother shook her head up and down again, and then she remarked strongly: “I have conceived many serious questions in my womb which I want to ask from you. When I deliver these questions, as when a woman delivers a baby, I want you to answer them to the hearing of everyone who is in this hall: Whose son are you? Are your father and mother rich or poor? What are their professions? Are they evil-doers? Are they doing evil works in the corner of their house?” Thus the Mother asked all these questions from this Eight-Burden Man.

  But the lame, etc. man answered the questions: “I am the son of evil-doers and they are my father and mother. Both are not rich but poor. Every corner of their house is full of evil things. They had killed hundreds of people with their evil powers and they had also brought thousands of rich people of the town to a miserable state! Having seen these their evil works, the whole people of the town hate them. But as vengeance, after some years that they had started to do evil things, all of these burdens came upon me!” It was like that this lame, etc. man explained to the Witch-Mother with hiccups.

  Then the Mother remarked loudly: “Yes, the son of the evil-doer must reap evils! All the evils which your father and mother had done to others have come upon you and they are your burdens now! However, as you have suffered for many years, I have mercy on you!”

  Then the Omniscient Mother told one of her dispensers to bring one pitcher which contained the vegetable decoction and which was for washing off such burdens as that of this man. When the large pitcher was brought and the dispenser had put it down before the lame, etc. man, the Omniscient Witch-Mother instructed the dispenser to wash him with the vegetable decoction. Having done that, she told him to give the lame, etc. man some of the vegetable-water to drink. But to the greatest surprise of the other burdensome people who were still waiting for their turn, all the burdens of this man vanished immediately. He became a beautiful healthy gentleman in our presence.

  So when he saw himself that he could walk, that he had no more hump, goitre, boils, dented forehead, compact nose, non-stop hiccups, nor twisted body, he jumped so high that his head nearly hit the ceiling of the hall. He was intoxicated with joy for many twinklings before he became conscious. Then he sang and danced for a few twinklings, and then he bowed low to the Omniscient Mother with laughter. But before he was told to go back to his town, the courteous Witch-Mother took his “No. 9 burden” away for him. After that, the Covenanter warned him seriously that he must not do any evil work in his life, otherwise his burdens would certainly relapse even more severely than before. But the Omniscient Witch-Mother hinted him that his father and mother who were evil-doers all their days, would die before he returned to his town. Then after the Mother had hinted him thus, the Covenanter told him to go back to his town, and then he left the Hall with great happiness which one could not describe.

  It is My Turn Now

  As soon as that man had left the Hall of Assembly or Temple, with the perfect healed body, the Witch-Herbalist or the Omniscient Mother of the Remote Town called my surname loudly and I answered loudly with fear, especially as I had been a “born and die baby” before. So without hesitation, I stood up from the seat and I went to the front of the altar.

  I had hardly stood before her when she asked aloud: “What was your profession?” I replied at the same time: “I was a brave hunter of the wild bush animals before I left my town years ago!” Having answered that question aloud, she asked again: “What is the profession of your father?” I replied: “My father is the chief priest and pagan of gods, idols, spirits, etc!” “As your father is the chief priest and pagan, is he doing evil things after that?” the Mother asked solemnly. But I told her, “He does no evil things at all.”

  After the Mother had asked all these questions from me and I had answered all, she asked again: “But what is your burden which has forced you to come to me?” So I explained to her, as I held the cruse with the left hand: “Since about five years from when I married, my wife has not conceived at all and that is the only burden which I bring to you!” But as the Mother wanted to say the next word, her deathless paramount chiefs, noble men and women mocked funnily at my father and the gods, idols, etc. of my town. They said with laughter: “But y
our burden which has cost you many years of journey to this town, is quite simple enough for your father, the chief priest and pagan and all the gods, idols, spirits, etc. of your town to make your wife pregnant!” But her paramount chiefs, etc. had hardly mocked at my father and the gods, idols, spirits, etc. when the Mother said with a sharp voice: “There is no need to mock his father and gods, idols, spirits, etc. of his town who had failed to make his wife pregnant, because, without the approval of God Almighty, people will fail in all attempts!”

  But when the Mother had explained like that to them, she told me to give her the cruse which was in my left hand and I bowed low and gave it to her with both hands. Then she called one of her dispensers, she gave it to him and then instructed him to go and prepare the herbs and meat soup in it. But when the dispenser left for the large dispensary, she told me to go back to my seat and wait till the dispenser had finished. Then as soon as I had returned to my seat she called the next burdened person.

  But as soon as she had finished with the next burdened person, the dispenser returned with my cruse and he gave it to the Mother. For he had put the cooked herbs, some pieces of meat and many other ingredients inside the cruse, and it was brim-full. The mouth of the cruse was carefully covered with its cover and then it was wrapped with a piece of white cloth so that the soup might not smell out into my nostrils. As the Witch-Herbalist or the Omniscient Mother held up the cruse with both hands, she called my name loudly. But as I walked to the altar and stood before her, she first remarked loudly:

  “Snail bewails for having no feet.

  “Buffalo bewails for not having enough hair on his body but only horns.

  “Tiger bewails for having no mercy.

  “Elephant bewails for having too heavy a body and teeth.

  “But Hedgehog bewails for having no teeth in his mouth!”

  It was like that the Mother first remarked loudly, and then she gave the cruse to her Covenanter. But as the Covenanter held up the cruse with both hands, all the Mother’s deathless paramount chiefs and noble men and women remarked again:

  “One’s children are a stream of happiness for him or her! One without even an issue is one of the mourners! The most unfortunate person on earth may be the richest on earth. And many fortunate people say: ‘My child is my happiness, wealth, health, dresses, etc.’”

  After the paramount chiefs and the noble men and women of the Omnipotent Mother had remarked loudly like that, and as soon as the “bird-like organist” of the Mother had attested to their remarks with the organ, then the Covenanter warned me seriously that I must not eat from the soup, even I must not let the smell of it reach my nose. Thus he warned me loudly and then he gave the cruse to me and I took it from him with happiness. But as the custom of the Remote Town was, I sang and danced for a few twinklings before I bowed for the Witch-Herbalist or the Omniscient and Omnipotent Mother of this Remote Town, her Covenanter, her deathless paramount chiefs and her noble men and women, while I waved my right hand to the “bird-like organist” of the Mother. And then I left the Hall of Assembly or the Temple of the Witch-Mother, that noon.

  On My Way Back to My Town

  Then as soon as I had left the Hall of Assembly or Temple of the Witch-Herbalist, the Omniscient Mother of the Remote Town, I started to travel along in the town as hastily as I could with great joy which could not be described. And when it was about the sixth hour of the evening, I travelled to the same gate of the Remote Town, and then I stopped. But to my surprise, I met the very gateman whom I met there when I was going into the town a year ago. I met the colt which the two little delicate fellows gave to me and which the three of us rode to the gate a year ago. The colt had already grown to be a very big and healthy horse now, and I was very surprised that it was still alive. I met also my heavy matchet, bags of food and juju, the bow and poisoned arrows, and the long two-headed spear on top of which the two “removable heads” were pierced. This good gateman had taken great care of them.

  Without hesitation, the gateman surrendered the horse and the rest of my property to me. But as the night was near and as I saw that the darkness of the night would not allow me to continue my journey, then I became the guest of the gateman. And as soon as I sat in his beautiful booth, he prepared food and both of us ate together. After the repast both of us began to drink and discussed about the powerful Witch-Herbalist and the two little delicate fellows. He told me that these two fellows were the grandchildren of the Witch-Mother. Having discussed together about my town till midnight, both of us lay down and we slept.

  Hardly in the morning had we woken, prepared breakfast and eaten it together, when I stood up and I began to collect my belongings together. As my colt had already grown to be a big horse, I needed a saddle and stirrup. But as I wanted to ask from the gateman where to get them, he brought both out from his booth. He gave them to me, and after I had used them for my horse, he told me that both saddle and stirrup had been left behind by a burdened man when he returned and found that his horse had died. So I thanked him greatly and then I fastened the cruse on my head with rope so that it might not fall down. After that I hung both my food and juju-bags on my left shoulder and also my bow and arrows. Then I held the spear and matchet with the right hand.

  Then I mounted the horse, but as soon as I bade the gateman “goodbye” I started to ride the horse along the road with a joyful song and dance. It was like that I rode away from the gate of the Remote Town.

  As I was riding along the road, I was singing loudly and joyfully, and my horse was also dancing here and there with great joy which it shared with me. I had hardly travelled about forty kilometres when I began to feel hunger. And it was not so long after I was eager to eat when I rode my horse to where the two delicate little fellows stood at the roadside. The place on which they stood was opposite their little beautiful house. Both were dressed neatly in the best of their dresses and they were waiting for me. But I was extremely surprised that they knew the exact day that I left the Remote Town of the Witch-Herbalist, and the exact twinkling that I would reach the place where I met them.

  When I met them unexpectedly like that, they were waiting for my return. They stopped me with gladness and I dismounted from the horse with gladness as well. Then with a smile, they greeted me warmly and they paid great respect to me as if I were a king, and with a smile, I greeted them warmly in return. I was much surprised as well that they knew I was terribly hungry for food at this time, because as soon as they had paid great respect to me, they told me to follow them to their beautiful little house which was near there. So without fear and hesitation, I followed them, as my horse was following me behind without my holding its rein. As soon as we had walked gently to the front of their house, and as soon as I had put the cruse down gently and also the rest of my belongings, they opened the well-polished door of their house and then all of us entered, while my horse stood satisfactorily in the shadow of one of the strange beautiful trees which were in front of their house.

  Without wasting a twinkling, they asked me to sit down on one of the beautiful chairs which they had already arranged round one big table. I had hardly sat on that chair when they too sat on the chairs which were at the second side of the beautiful table. When I sat at the table opposite these two delicate fellows, I perceived very delicious food and also the drinks which they had prepared and put ready on this table. I hesitated to eat but I began to look on with wonder for about two twinklings, though I was badly hungry for food and drinks at this time. But as soon as the damsel and her little delicate man observed that I had become conscious, they asked me to eat on. Then with greediness, I began to eat and they too started to eat along with me.

  So as soon as they were quite sure that I had entirely satisfied my hunger, the beautiful and charming little damsel cleared the table except for the drinks. Having done that, she came back and sat back on her seat. Then the three of us started to drink. But when we had drunk for a few twinklings, they asked me whether the Witch-Herbalist who
was their grandmother, had given me anything for my barren wife. So I explained to them that she had given me back the cruse which I had given to her, and that as I observed, the cruse contained cooked herbs, pieces of meat and many other kinds of ingredients, and that the Witch-Herbalist had told me that all would make my wife pregnant when she ate the soup.

  Having explained to them like that, and as we were still enjoying the drinks, they asked me to tell them the history of my town. But when I told them how we were worshipping various kinds of gods, idols, spirit of the river, etc., both of them burst into a very lovely laughter. After they had laughed loudly for a few twinklings, and as I fastened my eyes on them, they asked me with pity why all the gods, etc. of my town could not make my barren wife pregnant. But when they asked this question from me, I dropped my head down heavily with shame for a few twinklings before I raised it up again. And then I explained to them that after the gods, etc. of my town and also my father had failed to make my wife pregnant, then I went to the Witch-Mother for help.

  But they were very sad at last when I explained to them like that. So when we had drunk together for about one hundred and twenty twinklings, and they were sure that I was satisfied, they told me to stand up and I did so at the same time. When they had accompanied me to the front of their house, we stopped. They prayed for me and for my wife. After that I fastened the cruse of the soup on my head as usual. I tied on the back of my horse, the bag of my juju, the bag of food, although the food had already been exhausted for a long time, and I hung the bow and arrows on my left shoulder. I held the two-headed spear upright with the same left hand, while I held my heavy matchet with the right hand. Then I mounted the horse and held its rein with the same right hand.