Recipe for Disaster

by Theda Vallee

  I did as he instructed, and the coughing finally subsided. He was a damn good doctor. “What are you doing here, and why on earth do they call you Dr. Grande?”

  “It’s because everything about him is extra big,” Mother answered. “And I mean everything, honey.”

  Leander laughed, winking at Mother. “Whenever I need an ego boost, I come to visit my friends here.”

  I’d seen Leander without clothes on a few occasions. Mother wasn’t lying, the man was gifted downstairs. Shifters never seemed to mind people seeing their junk. My team had seen me naked a few times, and I still had nightmares about it. I sure as hell wouldn’t be able to handle it if I had a nickname because of certain assets. If someone called me Wideload or Junk in the Trunk, I wouldn’t smile and laugh about it. “It’s good to see you, but again, why are you here?”

  “Mother’s a friend and asked me to help. I spend some of my free time to M.O.D teaching the young shifters and providing medical services when needed,” Leander said, walking past me to kneel by Leontyne. “Do you remember what your intent was when you did this?”

  Peering at her, I tried to remember what had gone through my mind. I hadn’t been expecting her to touch me. When her hand clamped down on my shoulder, I’d gone into survival mode. The weird thing was my intent had been focused on making sure she wasn’t hurt. How the hell had I gotten it so wrong? “I thought that I didn’t want anything to happen to her. The only thing I can imagine is Stella overrode my will.”

  I took another sip of the toxic brew. If Stella could take that much control over me, we had a huge problem. The only way I kept breathing was by being a useful weapon. Any inkling that I was no longer in control of my magic and my days were numbered.

  I watched Leander work, my anxiety melting away as I drained the mug in my hands. Luc would probably start to worry soon when we didn’t check in. There was no way I wanted to tell him what had happened until I had to. What I needed to do was convince Leontyne this wasn’t my fault. Leander might not be able to erase her memory, but maybe I could talk her into letting me owe her a huge favor. There had to be something I could offer that she loved more than the Osservatori.

  Leander finally stood up, a smile on his handsome face. I could see why my sister was so in lust. The sharp planes of his face highlighted his dramatic cheekbones and rigid jawline. Usually, those features would’ve been severe, but his kind, umber eyes paired with his broad smile left you feeling a little awestruck. Not to mention he was grande, everywhere.

  “Good news. I found her consciousness and was able to bring it back. She’ll sleep for a while longer, but otherwise, she should be fine. Go get something to eat, I’ll keep an eye on her and let you know when she wakes up.”

  I stood up and pulled Leander into a hug. Despite all the warnings, he was on the list of people I trusted. He’d proven to me repeatedly that he’d do the right thing despite what everyone around us believed. “I don’t know how to thank you. Is there anything I can do?”

  He leaned back as if he were pondering before giving me a shy smile. “Perhaps you could put in a good word for me with your sister?”

  Was he crazy? It would take a small army to keep her away from him if she was here. “I don’t think that’s necessary. She’s been dying for you to reschedule your date.”

  “She’s the one that canceled with me. I’ve tried to set a new date for months, but she’s always busy.”

  “Sorry to bother you, but there are four very loud women up front demanding we release someone named Etta, or they will open a can of kick-butt on us,” a harried waitress stood in the doorway and announced. “That’s a direct quote.”

  “Oh, shit! I forgot Nerina was on her way over,” I said, smacking my head. “I’m so sorry, show me where they are. I’ll calm them down.”

  Note to self: Never call your family for help and then forget about them. They’d level this whole place if it meant saving me. Taking off in a jog, I rushed after the waitress. She led me down the hall and through the kitchen doors at the end. I was becoming slightly winded, but I kept running. We sprinted through the kitchen and out the door that led into an opulently decorated restaurant.

  Nerina stood on the top of the bar, one arm raised above her head. On the ground, Gia was flanked on either side by Nonna and Aunt Sophia. Several of the wait staff stood scattered through the room, magic whispering around them ready to be used. The rest of the crew stood on the fringes scowling at the crazy women who’d disrupted their work routine.

  “If you don’t produce my sister by the time I count to ten, my cousin down here will release the stone she’s holding and freeze your asses back to the ice age!” Nerina yelled from her perch.

  “Nerina, language! We need not curse to make our point,” Nonna chided.

  Rolling her eyes, Nerina said, “For real? All I said was ass, that’s barely even a curse word. How are we supposed to let them know we’re serious if I have to use words like butt?”

  “Guys, I’m okay. Everything’s fine! Nerina get off of the bar. What’s wrong with you?”

  Nerina’s arm dropped to her side as she scowled at me. “What’s wrong with me? What the heck’s wrong with you? You’re the one that called me crying all ‘wahhh, boohoo, I have an emergency,’ and then you’re nowhere to be found when I get here. We thought they’d taken you hostage or something.”

  “I’m sorry. A lot is going on. If you get down, I’ll explain everything.” It mortified me that she was standing on the bar. People ate food up there.

  “Baby, I’d be screaming to the heavens, too, if I thought someone stole my sister,” Mother said, coming through the kitchen doors. “Ain’t no shame in tearing the rafters down to find yours. Good for you! Now come on over here, sit your skinny ass down, and let’s get some food in you. All of you. Come on now. We only got a bit before the club opens.”

  Without a second thought, Nerina shut her mouth and hopped down from the bar. My entire family sauntered over to the table as Mother set a steaming plate of carnitas onto the table. Sam and Maxine came in carrying similar plates heaped with food. With no protest, my whole family sat down with Mother and the other drag queens. Food was our damn Achilles heel. We were all going to die one day because someone offered us a snack.

  Chapter Ten

  Nonna was dancing. I never thought I’d see my tiny grandmother gyrating under strobe lights. If you’d asked me yesterday what was more likely; Nonna getting down at a club or finding Sasquatch, I would have voted for the Yeti. Yet, here she was, surrounded by a group of handsome men, giggling like a schoolgirl as they complimented her. Aunt Sophia was in the fray with her, basking in the attention as well. The bar patrons loved them. Watching my grandmother try to twerk was one of the best things that had ever happened to me.

  Even Gia was having fun. A willowy brunette in a chic pantsuit had coaxed her onto the dance floor. They were dancing so close you couldn’t tell they were two separate people. I’d be surprised if Gia made it home tonight.

  I’d texted Luc a few hours ago with a half-assed lie, attempting to stave off the inevitable. Shit would hit the fan soon enough. Once Leontyne woke up, I’d probably be arrested. I might have gotten away with the accidental magic, but I was sure they’d consider befriending suspects treason. Despite the looming threat, I felt calm. Sipping my drink, I watched my family enjoy themselves and felt a sense of peace.

  Over dinner, Maxine had alluded that the queens could help me if I needed to run. He’d been hesitant, never outright saying those exact words, but the message had been clear. We will help you.

  My heart wanted to believe him. Over the last few hours, the queens had made me feel at home. It was the same safe, cozy feeling that settled over me when I stepped into the bakery. It’d be nice to have another space in the world where I could feel that. Some days, I wished for powers like Vee had. This new life would be so easy if I could tell when someone was lying. I’d been tempted to ask her for help occasionally, but it seemed exp
loitative. I wanted Vee to feel loved for who she was not what she could do for me.

  “Should we be jealous?” Nerina asked. The pout of her lip told me she was only half joking. “Everyone is having a good time but us.”

  “Do you think we can trust them?” I asked, nodding my head towards Maxine and Mother. All done up in their drag regalia, they were glittering beacons that drew every eye as they waded through the crowd. They stopped to take pictures or dance with patrons as part of their hosting duties, everything they did looked effortless.

  “Leander trusts them. He’s a good guy, and he’s been living in this world a lot longer than we have. I can’t image the Osservatori is cool with him helping M.O.D. in his spare time. If he feels they’re worth the effort, I’m going to say they’re cool,” Nerina said. “Besides, they got Nonna to dance. She would’ve just stood there growling at them if she didn’t trust them.”

  “Is it me, or have you gotten better at giving advice in the last few months?” I asked, leaning my head on her shoulder.

  She kissed my forehead, lovingly. “It’s you. You finally got your head out of your ass and started listening to someone other than yourself.”

  “Speaking of Leander, he told me you’re the one that canceled your date and that you haven’t been willing to reschedule. Care to elaborate?”

  She sighed. “Damn shifter and his big mouth. Look, I’m stuck between a stick and a hard place. I’m scared. Every guy I’ve ever dated has been a douche-canoe. Which was fine, I knew it when I met them. I didn’t have to care about what happened as long as I had fun. Leander isn’t like those guys. He’s legit. What happens if fall for him? I can’t risk it right now. Our lives are chaos. I can’t drag him into our mess.”

  “First off, I think you mean rock and a hard place. Second, there will always be crazy shit happening. That’s life. Especially our life. He likes you, and you’re right, he’s a good guy. Give him a chance to decide what he’s willing to deal with. It’s not fair to decide for him. Why did you try to buy him at the auction if you’re afraid to date him?”

  “I don’t know. My brain has stupid ideas sometimes. I thought if I bought him at the auction, it wouldn’t be a real date, so it wouldn’t count. I’d get to spend a night with him and not worry about it becoming something more,” she said. “Oh, shit. Don’t look now but Sleeping Beauty’s awake. God, she’s so pretty, even with that scowl on her face. Too bad she’s such a snatch.”

  I jerked up, tension rumbling through me. Scanning the room, I watched as Leontyne made her way towards our table. She was scowling so hard, people moved out of her way like she was Moses parting the Red Sea. That didn’t bode well. Maybe I could keep her from making a scene and beg for mercy if I could get her alone.

  “Wish me luck,” I said as I jumped up from the table and headed towards her. Nerina’s protests were lost to the sounds of the club as I zigzagged through the crowd. I marched across the dance floor with purpose. I tilted my chin up, straightened my shoulders, and smiled. Maxine had insisted I change into something appropriate for the club, so knew I looked good. I was in a tight, black dress with keyhole cutouts over each of my hips, which was sexy as hell. The leopard-print heels I’d almost refused to wear, gave my ass some good bounce. My hair was styled into a wild mane, and my face was painted to perfection. I felt pretty. I let that confidence shine as I walked. For once, I would not feel intimidated by her. We were both smart, capable women. There was no reason we couldn’t talk this out and find a solution that didn’t involve me being led away in shackles.

  “Dance with me,” a voice said from behind.

  To my surprise, I turned to find Luc glowering at me. He grabbed my hand, pulling me into the crowd before I could protest. The song changed as we stopped and faced each other. The snapping 3-2 beat of a salsa thudded out of the speakers. His eyes raked over my body like a starved man, before pulling me against him.

  “You realize this is a salsa, not a tango?” I asked as he moved his feet forward, holding the bottom half of my body tight against him.

  “If you can strut through the room, like nothing happened today, I can pretend this salsa is a tango,” he said into my ear.

  His voice was husky with anger, but it sent shivers down my spine. It was hot. Like, melt your panties into a puddle hot. Instead of rankling me, my legs trembled with desire. His hand slid down my body, caressing the exposed flesh at my hip before settling on my back.

  “What happens now?” I asked, trying to keep from grinding against him. It was not the best time for my libido to have an opinion. “Is Leontyne going to have me arrested?”

  A low chuckle rumbled in his chest. “Is that what you were hoping for?”

  “Look, I’m sorry about today. Leontyne grabbed me, and it was a surprise. You know Stella can fly into attack mode. I’ve gotten better, but I’m still working on her temper.”

  “Etta, I can’t protect you this time. If Leontyne wants to take this up the ladder, I don’t know what they’ll do,” he said slowly stroking the side of my face.

  He grasped my chin tightly. With a painful jerk, he tilted my head up as his penetrating gaze met mine. “What are you doing?” I asked my voice, barely a whisper.

  “I’m trying to understand why the life I’m offering you isn’t good enough. I love you. I made sure you make good money. I hired someone to search for your daughter. I want you to be happy. All I ask in exchange is that you control your magic and follow orders. Why do you fight me at every turn?”

  The fury on this face startled me. His handsome features contorted into a grotesque mask of rage. I felt like I had stepped into a minefield, anything I said right now could cause an explosion.

  “You’re scaring me,” I said as he continued to hold my chin in his crushing grip.

  “Really? I’m scaring you. Maybe some of that fear would’ve been useful earlier today. You should’ve thought about the consequences before magically assaulting a co-worker. You’re so beautiful and powerful, yet so unequivocally stupid.”

  I jerked my head out of his grip, as tears stung my eyes. Part of me understood that it was fear driving his anger, but the rest of me wanted to claw his eyes out. “Are those your words or something your daddy told you to think? Let go of my arm, or I’ll scream. There’s a room full of people who will gladly toss you out the door.”

  The green around his pupil pulsed with rage. We stood in the middle of the dance floor, not bothering to dance anymore. Both of us held our ground, willing the other to make a move.

  “Etta, can I have a word with you?” Leontyne asked. She stood beside us, her face a mask of indifference. For the first time since we met, I was happy to see her.

  Luc released my arm, shoving me towards her. “She’s all yours. I’m done with her for now.”

  My legs tangled, and I almost fell into Leontyne as Luc strode off the dance floor. “I’m sorry. Where do you want to go to talk?”

  She nodded her head towards a small alcove tucked in the back of the room. Numbly, I followed her. I knew this would be bad, but I hadn’t expected Luc to be cruel. He yelled at me all the time. No matter what I did, it was wrong. I hadn’t expected him to be happy about today’s incident, but this was a new level. A threat of violence had oozed off of him. Had it always been there, and I was just now noticing? I needed to talk to Brady. He’d be able to calm Luc down. First things first, though, I had to beg Leontyne for mercy.

  She stopped in the alcove, her head bowed as if she was trying to compose her thoughts. “I have to ask you for a favor.”

  I looked around to see if someone else had joined us. It was just the two of us. Turning back to Leontyne, I hesitantly nodded. “Okay. What kind of favor?”

  “I’d like it if you didn’t tell anyone what happened today.”

  “Luc’s here. He already knows,” I said lamely. What the hell was going on? I wasn’t lucky enough for this to happen.

  “I called him and let him know where we were. I told him I’d
collapsed but not the details. I’ll straighten it out with him, but for right now, I need you to promise you won’t tell anyone else.”

  “I won’t tell anyone, but what are you going to tell him happened?”

  She looked at me, her eyes sparkling with unshed tears. “The truth. My mother’s a fairy, but my father is an incubus, which makes me a succubus. At least half of me, anyway. To survive, I leech sexual energy from men.”

  I stood there, staring at her beautifully sad face trying not to laugh. I’d told Nerina she was a goddamn succubus, but I hadn’t realized I was right. “So, how does that explain what happened today?”

  “I’ve been dating someone I like a lot, and he’s not comfortable with me taking energy from anyone but him. Instead of siphoning from a few different men every week, I tried to let him be my main food source. I passed out because I’m starving. His energy isn’t enough to sustain me.”

  All the jokes I’d been ready to lob died on my lips. She wasn’t perfect. Even someone as stunning as Leontyne felt insecure enough to do something stupid for a man. As much as I’d love to lord this over her, I wouldn’t be that girl. “Today never happened. I just need you to make sure Luc understands it wasn’t me okay?”

  “I’m indebted to you,” she said, the words sounding like they hurt coming out of her. “I’ll make sure he understands this wasn’t you or your magic.”

  “You don’t owe me anything. Just do me a favor and go eat something. I can’t carry a pack of dudes in my purse in case you pass out again. Come on, I’ll buy you a drink before you go. I think we could both use it after today.”

  I stood by the bar making awkward small talk with Leontyne while studiously ignoring Luc. She was attempting to be nice to me, while I was trying to feign interest in her love life. We would never be best friends, but we could learn to be civil to one another.