A New Day

by Nancy Hopper

  "Want to ski tomorrow, or take the day off?" she asked with a yawn.

  "Doesn't matter to me. A day off would be all right." He suggested, noticing the circles under her eyes.

  "I'd really like to spend some time with my kids. They aren't used to my being gone so much." She explained worriedly.

  "I understand. Do it." He agreed tiredly.

  Tasha asked him if he wanted something to eat, but he shook his head. He asked only for a big glass of ice water, and once he had it in hand, he followed Tasha up the stairs.

  "Is there anything else you need?" she asked, eying Tim a little worriedly. He looked rather weary and discouraged.

  "No, thanks. I'll be fine." He denied tiredly.

  "Sleep as long as you want to, Tim." She urged, with a tender, concerned look in her eyes, and a hand on his arm.

  He smiled at her wearily. "Thanks. I will." He promised.

  Tasha watched him close the guest room door behind him quizzically. He was a very unique and interesting man.

  Tim slept until an embarrassing hour the following day. He'd had no idea just how tired he was getting to be. He got up, showered, put on some jeans and a sweater, and went downstairs.

  "Mr. Timothy! Hello, how are you? I did not know you had come to stay the night." Lucinda greeted him cheerfully.

  "Hey, Lucy." He teased her with a lazy grin. "Yep, I keep turning up just like a bad penny, don't I?"

  "There must be a reason. I think Miss Tasha is very taken with you, my friend." She teased him lightly.

  Tim chuckled. "Oh, I think not, Lucy. Don't you go getting ideas, now. She's just being kind to a traveling man. My job takes me all over the world, and I work real hard. I wouldn't be much good to a woman, I fear."

  Lucinda snorted, with the intention of totally discrediting those words.

  "I suppose I'm too late for lunch today, huh?" he yawned.

  "Not at all. I have soup and salad and a very nice quiche, Mr. Tim."

  "Awesome. Bring it on." He chuckled. "I suppose Miss Tasha is long gone."

  "No. Actually, I've not seen her today. It's not like her to sleep so late. The children are missing her."

  "I am sure they are." He admitted thoughtfully. "We skied very hard yesterday. I'm sure she's just a bit overdone. I didn't realize I was so thrashed, myself." He explained.

  Tasha came in just then, wearing jeans and a clingy, low-cut cashmere sweater in the softest pink. With her hair swinging over one eye and her feet bare, she looked young, and fresh. And sexy.

  "'Morning." She yawned sleepily.

  "Good afternoon, Miss Tasha." Lucinda corrected gently. "I was just about to feed Mr. Timothy. Will you eat?"

  "Just a little soup or something." She advised. She turned her sleepy eyes on Tim. "How long ago did you drag out?" she asked sweetly.

  He grinned at her. "Just a couple of minutes ahead of you."

  She sat next to him at the table, and Tim found himself looking at her lustrous, wavy hair spilling over her breasts and down her back. He studied with awe her clear, green eyes, the roses in her cheeks, the soft curve of her lips.

  As she walked to the coffee pot, he found his eyes watching her move, her curves and very tiny waist. As she returned with a steaming cup of coffee, he couldn't seem to pull his eyes away from her sweet curves. She had a beautiful cleavage that the sweater didn't much leave to his imagination.

  He looked at his cup of tea, acutely embarrassed and more than a little shaken. This wasn't like him, at all! He never, ever ogled women or thought about their bodies. It wasn't safe, and it wasn't acceptable.

  He closed his eyes and repented fervently before the Lord for his slip into human male weakness, yet he couldn't shake his awareness of her. It remained steadfastly in focus, when he opened his eyes. It had come suddenly and acutely, and it was apparently not easily going to be dismissed.

  "So, what would you like to do this afternoon?" Tasha asked congenially.

  Tim forced himself to look up into her clear, green eyes. "You don't need to entertain me, Tasha. I think maybe I'll just read and pray. I know you need to spend time with your kids. You go ahead, and don't worry about me."

  Tasha looked at him pensively. "Are you certain? We could do something that the kids would enjoy, something to include them." She offered gently.

  The sweet kindness and pure innocence shining in her eyes, stabbed at Timothy. He felt a strange tenderness and longing for her rise up in his heart. He felt like simply shouting at her to stop being so darn nice to him, but of course that made no sense, either.

  As he looked at her, he saw again with great depth her beauty, her strength and yet, her fragility. Her eyes were examining him worriedly. He knew that he was behaving out of character.

  Desire for her flooded him. Sexual desire, yes; but even greater, loomed a deep desire for intimacy with her. He wanted her heart. Tim closed his eyes, staggering under the assault of these strange, new feelings. He could not believe what was happening to him!

  Certainly he'd felt intrigued by her, since they'd met; he'd always found her lovely and sweet. That first night, he'd certainly wanted to kiss her. But this! This was more than he could deal with, it was a very different thing. It was overwhelming, absolutely staggering.

  He realized he was staring at her again, and lowered his eyes. "No. Really, Tasha, I need some time alone. Don't give it a thought." He answered in a monotone.

  "Are you sure you're all right?" she asked worriedly, laying a gentle hand on his shoulder.

  Tim stiffened against the touch. "Very sure." He said tightly.

  "All right." She agreed hesitantly. She was certain that Tim was not all right, but there was nothing she could do. He obviously wasn't going to confide in her, right now.

  Lucinda put lunch in front of them, and Tim was certain that he would simply die. It was torture, sitting there so close to her. He was almost physically sick. His eyes were continually drawn to her loveliness. He wished he could look anywhere else, but he was simply consumed with this sudden, deep awareness of her.

  He began asking the Lord what on earth to do about it; and slowly, comprehension began to come. What had happened was incredible!

  As Tasha had given in the previous night to the call and the fire of the Lord; as she had come to accept the inevitability of His will; she had softened dramatically toward Tim. She'd realized the tough spot he was in, and she had felt compassion for him. She'd also truly accepted him, as her friend.

  It had done the impossible to Tim. He had been reaching out to her so hard and fast, that when she opened up like a flower, he hadn't been able to pull back hard and fast enough. He'd been caught too close to her. His deepest heart had opened to her in a very dangerous way -- as a woman. She had simply grabbed hold of his heart, and she didn't even know it.

  "Dear God, can this really be me?" he asked, a thousand times during that meal. He was amazed and terrified that he couldn't control himself, couldn't stop his eyes from devouring her, couldn't shut off the longing he felt for her.

  He constantly tried to remind himself that he didn't need or want a woman in his life. And she really didn't want him. She'd made that very clear. The questions and feelings kept battering at Timothy until he felt he'd simply go mad.

  He had to stop himself from laughing derisively, as he realized that the fire that the Lord had showered on them the previous evening had destroyed all defenses – both his, and hers. They were both totally helpless in the aftermath.

  He felt a soft chuckle in the spirit, and realized that the Lord was immensely enjoying watching them both tumble. Neither of them really knew what to do. He closed his eyes, and tried desperately to get a grip on himself.

  At last, Tasha finished her soup and excused herself. She smiled at Tim – a perplexed, heart-rending little smile -- and said she'd see him at dinner. All he could do was nod, and watch her walk away.

  "Mr. Timothy; you feel okay?" Lucinda asked worriedly.

  He raised an eyebro
w. "Not great, actually." Tim admitted. "Maybe I'll lay down again, and see if this day will somehow pass less miserably. Thanks for lunch, Lucy. I'm sorry I didn't do it any justice."

  "Sure, Mr. Tim. That's quite all right; you go ahead. Maybe rest is just what you need." She responded gently.

  Tim dragged up the stairs, and dropped onto the bed with a groan of anguish. He dropped his head in his hands, and let tears of anger and frustration fall out of his eyes.

  "Lord, what is happening to me? I can't possibly fall in love with that prickly, headstrong, rich woman! I don't need any romantic entanglements, and especially not with her!

  "How can I minister to her when the time comes, if all I can think about is putting her on her back and -- oh, boy. Gotta keep my mind off that track”. He chastised himself. "How can this be? It wasn't here yesterday."

  "Would it be so bad to fall in love? It happens to people all the time, you know." He felt the Lord ask.

  Tim just gave a harsh laugh. "At this point, I think I'd rather die." He replied readily.

  He stayed there, staring at the ceiling. Before he knew it was happening, he was sound asleep.

  When Tasha woke him up at five-thirty, he was astonished that he'd slept the entire afternoon away. She had to do some vigorous shaking, at that.

  Then, when he looked up into her worried eyes, he had to close his own eyes again in abject misery.

  "It's time for dinner, Tim. Are you going to be all right?"

  "Yeah. I'm fine." He assured. But when he joined them at the table, he looked extremely tired and strained. He gave Tasha a distant smile, spoke to each of the children by name, and gave Lucinda a half-hearted compliment on the dinner. Other than that, he was abnormally quiet and distant.

  "It's time we should be leaving." Tasha offered quietly at the end of the meal.

  Tim nodded, barely looking at her. "Yeah. I'm ready." He answered. "Lucinda, thank you."

  "My pleasure, Mr. Tim." She assured him. She noted that yet again, he had not eaten well at all. When Tim went upstairs, Lucinda got a hand on Tasha's arm.

  "You bring him back here tonight, Miss Tasha. He is not well. He slept all day and he has eaten nothing. He concerns me very much. You get him here so I can take care of him! I will make chicken soup."

  Tasha patted Lucinda's arm tenderly. "All right, Lucinda. I'll try." She promised. She changed into some trouser jeans, an apple green top with layers of horizontal ruffles, under a black leather blazer. She smiled as she selected some elegant black Western boots. She added chunky agate jewelry and smoothed out her long, dark hair. Then, she went to find Tim.

  CHAPTER NINE

  Tasha tried to hold her tongue as they drove through the narrow road to the resort; but she just could not. "Tim, I'm very concerned about you. Are you going to be able to get through tonight?" she asked.

  He sighed, and stretched. "Sure. I'm just kind of out of it." he explained. "Slept too much, I think. But I'm still tired. I'll perk up a little when we get there, I'm sure."

  Still, the grim silence persisted. When they got to the Cedars, they parked in the garage and as always, Tim put an arm around her shoulders as they went inside. Still, he seemed so distant that Tasha's feelings were a bit stung. She felt tears smarting in her eyes. It felt as though she was with someone else, another man that she didn't know. A man who didn't care. It was absolutely wretched!

  When they were seated, she simply couldn't stand it anymore. She put her hand over his; and looked up into his shocked, burning eyes. His reaction made her feel as though she'd done the unforgivable, but she had to go on.

  "Timothy; please tell me what's wrong. What is bothering you today? Have I done something wrong, somehow offended you?" she asked worriedly.

  Timothy felt a crush of desire pour through his veins at the touch of her hand on his, the soft entreaty in her eyes. He closed his eyes and shook his head.

  "No. Tasha, I'm sorry. It's nothing you've done. I'm just struggling. I don't know why. I don't want you worrying about it."

  "I can't help it." She protested. She searched his eyes, but couldn't seem to touch him. He was very withdrawn at the moment.

  From Tim's perspective, nothing could have been further from the truth. Every kind word, every gentle touch of her hand, every tender look, affected him deeply, cut his heart open even wider.

  He was deeply dismayed, as he felt sure that tonight was the time for her to be ministered to. He didn't know yet what to say, and he wasn't sure he'd be able to say it if he did know, or could figure it out. He was a mess, and he didn't understand any of it.

  “Don’t be so sweet to me. I can’t stand it. Can’t you say

  something ornery?”

  She chuckled. “No. I don’t believe that I can.” She said, smiling sweetly up at him. “God has given me a quite considerable appreciation for you, Timothy Rain. I believe He wants me to be kind to you.”

  Timothy groaned, and rolled his eyes. It got even tougher for him as the music started, and Timothy's spirit opened to the Lord. Every look at Tasha was excruciating. He was simply flooded with new love for her – overcome by her, every time he'd try to look at her and ask the Lord for help. Suddenly, tonight, he could not seem to separate his awareness of this woman, from his awareness of the Lord. Whenever he opened his heart and spirit at all, Tasha flooded in. It was simply bizarre!

  "Be still, Timothy. Wait and see." He felt the Lord instruct him. Peace slowly came to Tim, as he allowed the Holy Spirit to take control. Suddenly, he understood that he'd been trying to resist not only his sudden, strong feelings for Tasha, but that he'd also been resisting the moving of the Holy Spirit within him.

  He repented, and sank to his knees immediately. The Holy Spirit fell on him there, and covered him with the cloak of comfort and blessing as he humbled himself.

  Tim felt tears slip down his face as he began to sense the unrequited love that the Father, and that Jesus had for the girl sitting next to him. He'd had just a taste today of how it felt to love and have it be unrecognized. He understood now that he could only reach Tasha from a place where his own heart was broken and humble.

  She would not be able to resist his heart when he was humble, gentle and broken. It was this breaking that the Lord had been working in Timothy – that would open Tasha's heart to receive what Timothy was about to minister. He could feel the word coming, and he waited quietly.

  He could feel Tasha's eyes on him, shocked yet tender. To see him humble himself this way, with tears on his face, was something Tasha had never imagined she'd see. Yet here he, was, unashamedly tearful and on his knees before hundreds of people.

  She could tell that this man was no stranger to humility, and she could tell that he didn't mind, whether he was alone with the Lord, or with ten thousand watching.

  Timothy knew then what had to be done, and he fell on his face in intercession. He cried out to the Lord in his spirit for her. He felt that he was to become like a great vat, a storehouse for the Love of God to be released upon this woman. He relented and obeyed, allowing the love to fill him until he thought he'd burst, or die.

  It was a good thing that Timothy was not scheduled to speak that night, for he surely would not have been able. He was truly broken, and there was no way that he was able to function, for some time. Only when the message was nearing its end, was he able to sit up and find his chair. He pulled himself together with great effort, knowing that the Lord had need of him tonight.

  Tasha sat helplessly, worried sick. "Tim?" she whispered earnestly, putting her hand on his arm and searching his eyes.

  He covered her hand with his, and let his eyes turn to her tenderly. "I've never been better. Don't be afraid." He encouraged her.

  Although she was a bit taken back by his response, she was relieved to see that he'd been transformed. He was filled with the Presence of the Lord. He was reeling, sloshing, full of the Holy Spirit. And somehow, that did not frighten her, anymore.

  "The resistance has been broke
n, and the Lord of Hosts will have His way." Tim assured her with burning eyes.

  "You were resisting Him?" she asked incredulously.

  "It would seem so." He admitted. "I sometimes still get in his way, despite my best efforts. I didn't intend it, that's for sure. Tasha, you won't leave me here tonight, will you?" he asked quietly. "Please don't run out on me."

  "I won't. Lucinda made me promise I'd bring you back, so she can put some chicken soup in you. She's convinced that you're very ill."

  He chuckled. "Well, she's not far from wrong. I'll be back after a bit, then, and I hope you don't get bored."

  "Not when you're ministering, Mr. Rain." She assured him heartily.

  She was intrigued tonight, though. Tim was keeping a very low profile. He wasn't praying for anybody much, and she wondered at it. He seemed to team up with his friend Tom, and stay in the background. It was very un-Timothy-like.

  When the room had finally begun to clear out, she saw Tim put an arm around his friend, Tom. They walked in her direction. They came toward her with the Presence of the Lord like a heavy cloud about them. Tasha felt her senses reeling and her knees growing weak as they approached her. It was a powerful anointing they carried together. And then, she could feel that her time had come.

  “Help me out, Tom. I do have a word from the Lord for the lovely Tasha.” Tim said wearily. He turned to Tasha and put his hands on her shoulders. "With your permission?" he asked steadily.

  Tasha slowly nodded. She couldn't seem to do anything else.

  Hands on fire. Hands on fire! She felt like she was being scorched; and breathing in fire. His eyes were filled with holy fire, as he stared into her soul. She knew that whatever God had brought her to this conference to hear, was coming at her – right now. She slowly turned her eyes up to Tim's.

  She was shocked to find herself looking into eyes filled with tears. She felt as though they were the very eyes of the Lord.

  “I want you back.” he whispered in anguish. The tenderness and suffering in his voice cut her heart to the quick. “Don’t you know that I love you desperately? Don’t you know how much you mean to me?” he asked raggedly. “Can’t you trust me, Tasha?” he asked, his eyes pleading. “I want you back, so much. You’re mine, you’re my lovely one. I’ll make it all up to you, I promise.”