A New Day

by Nancy Hopper

  "The end of one thing is not the end of all things, my love. You just didn’t understand. But I want you back, now. I allowed you to run, I knew you had to do that, at the time. I knew you didn’t understand. But now, you must be healed and go on to find your destiny in Me. It is time.”

  Timothy squeezed back the tears that were making it hard to talk. He was going to have to back out of the intimacy that was flowing from God through his own heart to Tasha, or he wouldn’t be able to deliver the whole word. He would be overcome by the emotion he felt; and that was totally unlike Tim.

  But, he felt as though the heart of the Lord was killing him. He wanted to fall on his knees and keen at the tender love and wooing he felt from the Lord for Tasha!

  He stepped back a step, hoping the space would act as a small barrier. He drew a deep breath, and put a hand on her shoulder while he tried to regain some composure. He didn’t dare to look at her.

  “Honey, you can run, but you can’t hide forever.” Tim said in a low voice. “He wants to restore you to Himself. He wants to restore his beloved to His side. He wants to restore your relationship with Him. He wants you back, so badly.”

  “He just wants to heal your heart, honey. He’s wooing you back. He knows you’re hurt. He knows you’ve given up. But He can do it for you. Come on, now. Give in. Come on back to Him. Taste, and see that the Lord is good. Yes, He feels your pain. Yes, He feels your sorrow. Yes, He knows you think He let you down.”

  "Listen to me. That’s not the heart of the Lord. It’s not the heart of our Father. He loves you. He loves you so much, honey.”

  Tim paused and seemed to be fighting once again for composure. His eyes were tightly shut; and he shook his head as if feeling the pain that was being unleashed in Tasha’s heart as he spoke the words. Tom just watched with a keen eye and kept silent.

  “He’s going to make it all up to you. He’s going to restore everything that was taken from you. He’s going to turn your sorrow into joy. He’s going to raise you up and put you in the place He intended for you. So don’t wait, now. Don’t you hinder what He wants to do. He made you come here so that He could get through to you. Come on, now. That’s it. That’s all you gotta do, just give in.”

  “Tell Him you love Him. Tell Him you need Him. That’s all you have to do, is come home. Come back to Him. It’s all over, honey. It’s going to be okay, now.”

  Tears were streaming down Tasha’s face. She couldn’t help it, her heart was breaking. He knew. He knew! He’d made her come here so He could break her will down, and make her come back.

  Oh, she didn’t want to! She wanted to stay in her cocoon and live her simple life! But it was no good. It was no good, it was obvious. Her heart was breaking wide open, despite her will to keep it tightly closed.

  “Let Him do it, Tasha. Let Him open the wounds. I know you’ve been shattered, honey. I can feel the devastation. But, He never meant it to end this way. He’d have spared you so much, if you’d been able to stay open to Him. He loves you. You’re so important to Him. He’s been yearning over you. He’s so excited that you’ve come to the conference, that you’re opening up again.”

  “Let Him back in, honey. Let Him finish the work He started so long ago, in your heart. And you’ll begin to live again. He wants to give you a fresh, new start. Let Him be your healer, now.”

  Tasha shook her head, as if trying to numbly ward off the onslaught. Her eyes were filled with misery and pain. Tears were streaming down her cheeks. She dropped her tired head, and wished she could just stop breathing.

  Tim closed his arms about her, and pulled her gently against his breast. He put his hand over her head as she wept bitterly. She felt the heat and the jolt of power from his hand go through her head to her heart, and on down to her toes. She wept so hard that she was shaking with sobs, and she felt as if she’d die.

  Yet, a peace so deep and sweet slowly began filling her. A love so tender and wild and fulfilling was flooding her heart, that she could only let go of the pain and submit to it. It went on a long time before her sobs subsided. But what she was feeling, began to take her breath away. Tim just held onto her and kept her in the safety of his arms.

  Tim’s lips were against her hair. He was caressing her head with a comforting hand. “There, honey. It’s going to be all right, now. Open your heart and just say you’ll come home. Papa’s waiting for you. He’s planned a banquet to welcome you.” He chuckled. “Choose the love, Tasha. It hurts, but it’s worth it.” he whispered.

  She took a deep breath, and nodded slowly. “I’m tired of being alone.” she admitted feebly.

  The words froze Tim’s heart into a panicked state.

  Then, the power of the Lord came in a mighty surge. Tasha had never felt anything like it. It was like lightning, and when it hit, all three of them went to the floor, in opposite directions. They all just laid there, stretched out like idiots, laughing at the top of their lungs. There was joy unspeakable, and there was no explaining it. It was just God, doing what He wanted to do, in His inimitable way. And although Tasha couldn't begin to explain it, she knew that everything God does, has definite purpose. She just didn't understand it all.

  At last, Tim sat up and tossed her his handkerchief. “Here. You need this more than I do.” he said, laughing. Tasha smiled to hear the quote from one of her favorite C.S. Lewis stories.

  He sat up, and just looked at her. She pushed to a sitting position, and self-consciously blew her nose. Then, finally, Tom sat up, too.

  Tim’s eyes were sharp with speculation as he watched Tasha pull herself together. “Just who the heck are you?” he growled in exasperation.

  She looked up at him almost fearfully. “I’m just me. You know who I am.”

  He laughed defiantly, and shook his head. “No, I don’t think so. I think there’s a great deal more than meets the eye. Yes, indeed.”

  Everything was changed. Tasha lowered her eyes and avoided looking at either of them. Timothy’s eyes were too sharp with speculation, too full of something that frightened her. Something very intimate and demanding.

  Tom dangled his elbow over his knee, and looked at her with deep speculation. “You’ve felt the power of God before, little girl. And you don’t want to give in to it again, because of some deep hurts. But He’s asking you to trust Him; and to come see what He’s got for you. He says that what happened to you in the past, is not going to happen again.”

  "He’s got truckloads of blessings for you, darlin’, if you’ll just let Him in. Just let Him in … again … You were a pastor’s wife? My Lord in heaven!” Tom gasped in sudden perception.

  Tasha’s eyes flooded with tears and she nodded, despite her desire not to. She just couldn’t stop the sobs that racked her body. She could feel the shock filter down to Tim’s toes as she affirmed what the Lord had revealed to Tom.

  “Did he leave you, honey?” Tom asked gently.

  Tasha laughed as she cried. “Not the way you’re thinking. But he left me forever, just the same. It was cancer. He died three and a half years ago.”

  It was quiet as the men digested what she was saying.

  “Well, he was a true man of God.” Tom said quietly. “I can feel that, clearly. And you were a little bit overwhelmed by it all. You really didn’t have much time to grow into your place, before it all fell apart.”

  “But, the Lord is saying it’s not going to be that way again. It’s not going to be the way it was, anymore. He’s got someone else for you, and it’s going to be glorious.”

  ”No! I can’t!” she objected. She couldn’t help it. Horror at the thought of loving another man overwhelmed her. She stared at him brokenly. “You don’t understand. You can’t possibly understand! I could never … go through that again. There is nothing that is worth the pain. I could never do it!”

  Tom chuckled. “Yes, you can. You may not want to, but you will. Just relax now, and let Him take the reins. Trust Him! There's someone that needs you and wants you so badly! You're go
ing to be the only one he could ever consider.”

  “It’s going to be a life rich in love and sweet companionship, Tasha. A life that will sustain you, a man to grow old with. He will raise up your two children, and give them what they need from a father.”

  "Just try to open your heart to the idea. You’re going to love it, when you realize how beautiful it will be.” Tom advised gently.

  Tasha looked at the two of them, from one to the other, in shocked puzzlement. This is the one piece of prophecy she had never expected.

  Tim was looking at her with burning eyes, in absolute seriousness.

  Tom began to chuckle. “Oh, dear Lord.” he said helplessly. He put a hand over his eyes, and rubbed them wearily. “All right, Timothy. Here it is, now, son. You know what the Lord has told you to do.”

  Tim slowly stood up, and offered Tasha his hand. She took it hesitantly, and he helped her to her feet. He kept staring into her eyes. She put her hands up, as if to shield herself from the beam of his gaze. It was like a sword, searing into the depths of her, uncovering all that she was and all that she was to be.

  “I’m sorry, Tasha. I’m sorry.” Tim said quietly. “I didn’t know. I didn’t realize. Not until just now. I didn't come after you with this intention.”

  Tom sighed and put a hand on Tim’s shoulder. “Son, she hasn’t got it yet. She’s still reeling. She don’t have a clue what you’re talking about.”

  Tasha looked up at Tim quizzically. She saw the burning look in his eyes, saw the grim lines of determination around his mouth, and she knew. She knew instantly. He thought it was going to be him -- and her.

  “No! Oh, no, Tim, you don’t understand. I can’t!” she whispered, horrified. “I’m no good for anybody, I’m not ... oh, no!”

  ”Run all you want, Tasha. I didn’t choose this, either. But if I know nothing else, I know that He has more sense than the rest of us put together. If He says it’s you and me, then it’s you and me. That’s all there is to it. Maybe you can't see it yet, but He'll bring you around, in time.”

  "I knew it was no accident that you and I met. It’s no accident that He sent me in to talk to you at the ski lodge. I’ve spent the past week trying like hell not to fall in love with you, and cursing myself because I can’t seem to help the way I feel. But now, it’s become very clear to me … that one day, you’re going to be my wife.”

  Tasha gasped. It was incomprehensible. He didn’t want to get married, he’d made that clear! What could he be thinking? Why was he saying this? Fear paralyzed her, as she saw the serious intent in his eyes.

  “I’ll be patient while you work through this. I know it’s sudden; but Tom and I both knew it at the same time. I've had a clue, although I didn't want to acknowledge it, what the Lord had up his sleeve. I’ve wanted to kiss you from the first night. I thought it was just a physical attraction.”

  "But after the fire came last night, I realized I am so in love with you, I was sick. However, you’re calling the shots in this relationship. I won’t push you to do one thing you don’t want to do. You just take it easy, and we’ll see how things go. All right?”

  She just looked at him. He was dead serious!

  “Tim, I can’t find the words to explain this. But I can’t even begin to imagine it. You know that I think you’re an extremely wonderful man. It has nothing to do with you.”

  "If there was ever a man I could consider, it would be someone like you. But I just loved my husband too much to ever love anyone else. I … I could never survive such a risk again. I loved him too much!”

  He smiled at her. “Yeah. I can tell. Well, I’ll tell you what. No pressure, lady. I’ll just bide my time.”

  He turned, and looked around the room. It was nearly empty. He turned to Tom with a weary, glazed expression. “I guess I’d better see that the lady gets home.” he mumbled.

  They said goodnight to Tom, and made their exit silently. But Tom gave Tim a pointed look that was not lost on the young man. He remembered the prophecy very well.

  “Would you like to stop for something to eat?” he asked gently as they walked out.

  “No. No, thank you. I just need to go home.”

  Tim sighed. “All right. I’ll walk you to your car, then. I suppose you'd like it better if I stayed here, tonight.”

  She didn't answer him, but she was obviously good and ready to run from him. He was silent and cautious as they walked. She was nervous.

  When she got to the Bronco, she leaned against it and turned to say goodnight. He was right there, staring at her with those penetrating, blue eyes. She stood frozen, as he brushed his finger across her soft lips.

  "You know it's no good to run, Tasha." He said quietly. "You remember the prophecy Tom gave me early in the week? This is it. He told me to stake my claim, so I'm going for it, before I get too scared. I hope you'll understand, and forgive me."

  He gave her a sheepish, little smile that was completely disarming. He reminded her of a charming boy, with that lock of black hair that had fallen down over his forehead, and his smile partially hidden by the mustache.

  Slowly, he gathered her in his arms, and just looked into her eyes. She just stared up at him, looking stricken with disbelief. He lowered his head to hers, and he kissed her the way she hadn’t been kissed in ... forever. It was so different than anything she’d ever felt before.

  She felt plundered, taken, claimed, sealed and delivered. His arms were rock hard around her. His mouth was devastating. His body against hers was electrifying. She was reeling as he stopped, and then he kissed her again, lingering over her with a very lover-like embrace.

  “And I can’t say I’m sorry.” he said in a husky voice with a chuckle. “Not at all.”

  “Tim, no. Nothing has happened.” Tasha objected weakly. Even as she spoke the words, her body was screaming with desire, clamoring for more of him. She knew she was a liar. His hard body pressed against her, was setting her on fire.

  She wanted him, now. She wanted him desperately! It may not have been the case in that Ballroom a few moments before, but it was the truth, now.

  She wanted him suddenly, in every intimate way. She wanted to feel him make love to her. She wanted to look up and see his face above hers, feel his chest with her fingers. She wanted him to make her his. She was desperate for him! And her feelings were shocking to her! She hadn't realized; not at all!

  He shook his head slowly, in disagreement. “Everything has happened, Tasha. You know it. If you don’t think so, let me kiss you one more time.” he offered in a low voice. He was regaining his composure a little bit.

  "Uh -- no. Tim, no. Don’t, please.” she responded quickly. “I really think it’s time I said goodnight. And I’m sorry, but you’ll just have to forget this. I’m not interested.”

  His eyes narrowed, judging her a liar. “I can hardly stand up, but you didn’t feel a thing, is that it?”

  She shook her head, desperately searching for a way to put him off. She closed her eyes so that she could lie to him. “It doesn’t matter what I feel, Tim. You are extremely attractive. But I will never marry you. I won’t even see you again. I don’t want to and it isn’t necessary.”

  “Oh, yes it is, sweet darlin'.” he said persuasively. He chuckled with mirth at her blunt denial.

  She set her lips firmly, and forced herself to look at him. He looked haggard, and worn out.

  “I know you didn’t want to come back. I know this is very sudden. And I know you don’t want to be involved with anyone. I know you’re scared. But you have to understand this, Tasha. I was claiming you as my bride with that kiss. And I won't be taking no for an answer.” He smiled down at her tenderly. He felt such a sureness about it all.

  "Today, I was absolutely reeling because I suddenly realized I'd fallen totally head over heels in love with you, and I couldn't understand it. I didn't even want it! It didn't make sense. But, I was staggering with feelings I couldn't control. It took the Holy Spirit some working over to get me t
o understand any of it, much less accept it. Honey, it's too late. You're stuck with me."

  She moistened her lips with her tongue, and clenched her hands together. “Tim, I just have to go. Please, don’t say anything more. And just please forget that this ever happened. Please! I loved my husband, I don’t ever want anyone else. When he died, that part of me died.”

  He shook his head, misery mirrored in his eyes, from hers. “I can see that you loved him. I won’t ever try to take his place, or to minimize the relationship you had with him. But baby, life goes on.

  "You weren’t meant to spend it alone, and I guess I wasn’t, either. I never once in my life wanted to get married until tonight. But suddenly, I do want to. Because I know it’s right. I know it’s blessed. And I know I can’t run away from it. Neither can you.”

  "Think it over, Tasha. It doesn’t have to be tomorrow. But don’t push me away, either. There’s no happiness to be gained in doing that. Just let me spend some time with you this week while I’m here, and we’ll talk about this again -- just once -- before I go. No pressure. Okay?”

  She stared up at him warily. “We’ll see.” she said with a warning in her voice.

  He smiled down at her with those burning lights in his eyes, and suddenly she was simply mesmerized. She stared up at him with her lips parted expectantly. She was panicking inside, because she knew that she was asking him to kiss her again. The invitation was obvious. She swayed into his body, and closed her eyes. She couldn’t believe what she was doing! But, she just couldn't seem to control herself.

  He watched her with worry; and yet, he could see that all her defenses were crumbling. She was begging for him to move in and take control, despite the protest on her lips. He smiled and shook his head. He would do so, with pleasure. He chuckled, despite his better judgment.

  He lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her again, for all he was worth. He wrapped his arms around her, and held her against him. He stroked her hair, and whispered in her ear.