Loving Lucas

by Lily Ryan

  “Nobody told me …”

  “The receptionist didn’t know who I was. I left no message.”

  “Why didn’t you ask me about it?”

  He looks at me, his eyes sad. Hurt. “I hoped you would’ve told me.” He shakes his head, “but you didn’t.”

  I don’t know what to say but I do owe him an explanation. I’m just not sure this is the best time to give one.

  “You’re drunk. We’ll talk about this in the morning.” I take a step away from him.

  Lucas grabs me around the waist and wraps me up in his arms, pulling me back.

  “I’m not drunk. I’ve tried. Believe me. I’ve tried to drink so much it would make me forget all about you. But I can’t. No matter how much I try to numb the pain, it’s there. Like a huge, gaping, hole in my heart, so tell me. Because I need to know.”

  My eyes gloss over as I entertain for the first time the possibility Lucas is right. Maybe things are too difficult, and the situation is too strenuous for us to make work. He’ll never trust me and I’ll always feel as if there’s an accusation in everything he says or does.

  “Nothing happened, Lucas.” I wipe at my eyes with my fingertips, “I swear.”

  He stares silently. Waiting.

  “Your father gave me my Christmas bonus.”

  Resigned, Lucas drops his arms and lets me go. He turns and walks away, raking his fingers through his hair.

  “You didn’t need to meet behind closed doors for that, Olivia. He could’ve simply handed you the envelope. Better yet, Sandy could’ve given it to you.”

  Sandy. Great. He has to mention the wicked witch. Emotionally overwrought from the week’s events I think about walking away from the whole fucked-up situation. Turning my back and leaving him for good. I want to, but I can’t.

  “He wanted to talk. That’s all.”

  Lucas doesn’t believe me. It’s written all over his face.

  Exacerbated I throw my arms up in frustration and take a seat on the couch. “He asked me to bring a letter to you, and I said ‘no.’ I explained I wasn’t about to risk what we have for him.”

  Lucas joins me. We sit in silence. Each waiting for the other to speak. I don’t know if he believes me, and even if he does, is it something he can live with and accept? As I stand to leave, Lucas clears his throat.

  “Stay,” he reaches for me. “Please.”

  I hesitate. The door is within my sight. It’s feet away. But I know if I walk out this isn’t the end. He knows where to find me. Where I work. Where I shop. And where I live. Better to hash this out here and now.

  I take a baby step toward him. Lucas drops back down on the couch, grabs my hand and pulls me onto his lap.

  We’re close. We’re touching and this makes it worlds harder for me to leave him in my review mirror.

  “Look at me.” Lucas’s eyes hold a well of emotion. I’d never seen them so turbulent. Rough and threatening one minute, calm and subdued the next. “Until last week I had no idea how I felt about you.”

  “Thanks.”

  With his hand he brushes my hair away from my face, and ghosts his fingers down my shoulder. “What I mean to say is, until last week, I didn’t realize how much I love you. Do you believe that?”

  I nod. “I love you, too.”

  He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “You must or you would’ve dumped me by now.”

  “Don’t be so sure that’s not what’s happening.”

  “I don’t mean to make things hard, I really don’t. I’m just so fucking broken, Liv. Completely shattered.”

  All the anger I’m fighting to hold onto melts with his words because I know it’s true. And I can relate.

  “I managed to scrape some of the pieces of my heart together and exist, but I still felt broke every day. Until I met you.” He takes my hand in his and squeezes to accentuate his meaning. It’s not just my hand being squeezed, but my heart as well. “We need complete honesty.”

  “You weren’t exactly the poster boy for honesty. If you would’ve just asked …”

  He cuts me off with a kiss. A body warming, toe curling kiss. The perfect way to shut me up.

  “I know,” he nods. “That’s going to change. We need to tell each other the truth no matter what. Because the only other choice we have is to walk away, and I don’t think … no, I know, I can’t do that. ”

  “Agreed.”

  “And where my father is concerned that means giving me every detail of every interaction with him.”

  “So if he happens to say ‘good morning.”

  Lucas nods. “Exactly. I’m not good at this but I’m trying. It’s been a long time since I’ve been in a real relationship.”

  “And by real relationship you mean?”

  “Something more than sex.”

  “What if trying isn’t good enough.”

  “It’s all I can do. I really don’t want to hurt you. Please. Give me another chance.” Lucas’s lips again cover mine, bringing goose bumps to the surface of my skin. His tongue makes its way into my mouth giving me an electric jolt of excitement. Every nerve ending in my body wakes and comes to life.

  Chapter 32

  Lucas

  I don’t bother carrying Olivia to my room. I don’t need a bed. I need to be inside her. To feel her skin heat up against mine.

  I cradle her face between my hands getting lost in her eyes. I miss looking into them. How could I ever think I’d be better off without her? Pink colors her face. No doubt she feels the sexual tension rising the same as me.

  I press my cheek against hers, enjoying the feel of her soft skin. Enjoying her warmth. I love that she can’t hide how much she wants me.

  I want to take her right here. Right now. I haven’t cleared away the broken glass so the floor isn’t an option. The couch will do. It has to because I don’t have the will power to wait.

  I push her down, and climb on top of her.

  “I need you.” I whisper pressing my hips against her. “Now.”

  She shivers. Her breath catches, but she doesn’t protest. Good. I don’t have enough control to deal with a protest.

  Her milk chocolate eyes lock on mine as she opens her legs, making room for me. She takes a good, long look at me. I have no idea what she sees, but I hope she never stops looking at me like this.

  I’ve been aching for her for days. I lift her shirt, not taking care to be gentle. I just want it off. Next, I tease myself skimming my nose down the length of her body along with her pants. She smells like Heaven. I’m losing control.

  These moments before we fuck are a delicious form of torture. Wanting her. Knowing I’m about to claim her.

  She runs her hands under my shirt and splays them across my stomach just above my waistband. After a moment, they singe a burning trail on my skin as they slide up and pull my shirt over my head.

  I brace myself with my hands on either side of her head, leaning over her, my arms straight, showing off my taut muscles. Olivia’s back arches to me as my eyes graze over her body, appreciating her black lace bra trimmed with pink ribbon and matching panties.

  Her swollen tits spill out of the cups. I’m not going to make it. I close my eyes. Maybe if I don’t look, if I don’t focus on her full, pouty lips and smoldering stare … I can’t. I have to look. I can’t keep my eyes off her.

  I don’t know what she’s thinking. I want to ask. I want to hear her say how much she wants me, but right now she needs just as much reassurance as I do. I strip my pants off as fast as I can and watch as her eyes fill with heat and longing, drinking me in.

  Olivia reaches behind her to unclasp her bra. No. I stop her. I call the shots. I’m running this show. This is me claiming her. Stating that she’s mine. Telling her. Telling myself.

  I gather her wrists and hold them together in one of my hands, over her head.

  “I want you just like this.”

  “My pocketbook,” Her voice is as breathless as I feel.

  “What?�
�

  “Condoms. In my pocketbook.”

  I nod, letting her know I heard, I’ll comply, but first, I press against her pussy and position my cock so that it rubs against her clit. Olivia moans, and her hips thrust up.

  “Uh huh. Don’t move or I might slip in,” I say, while my mouth explores her neck. “Give me a minute to fuck your clit with nothing between us.”

  She moans. Sweet, decadent sounds spill out of her mouth. Her chest heaves. “That feels so good!”

  “That’s right, baby. Enjoy feeling me so close.”

  Just before I explode, I reach for her pocketbook and hand it to her. Olivia fumbles through it for a few seconds, hands me the square packet, and then tosses it aside.

  She watches with interest as I roll it on. She doesn’t say anything, but those brown eyes burn. They reach into my chest and brand my heart.

  Taking her hands in mine and raising her arms up again, I stroke her face with my free hand, moving it slowly down, down her exposed neck, all the way down. I lift one leg and rest it against my shoulder.

  I think of taking her right through her panties, but decide against it. I don’t want another barrier between us. The need I feel is primal. I need her. I have to have her.

  I move the material over and press myself inside, inch by inch, watching her eyes roll back as pleasure spreads over her face. Once my full length is inside, her passion filled eyes meet my stare again.

  I know I won’t last long. Not with her soft throaty moans and her writhing hips. I don’t care. I don’t want to try and block her out of my thoughts. I want to savor every second.

  Olivia screams in ecstasy. Her body responds to mine so well. I keep thrusting, watching those heavy lidded eyes and open mouth as she rides the crest of her orgasm. How I want to fuck that mouth.

  As that thought takes form and occupies my mind, I know I’ve reached my limit. I hold her tight, her skin, like mine, is damp with sweat. I don’t care. I only care that she’s here with me. In my arms. And that I’m inside her.

  Chapter 33

  Olivia

  Lucas holds me against his chest, his fingers stroke my arm. I don’t mind the silence between us. It finally feels like I have a handle on the tension gnawing at me all week. I nuzzle against him, feeling his hold on me tighten.

  “What was he like?”

  “Huh?” His comment takes me by surprise. I hope he isn’t still hung up on the meeting with his father, I don’t think I have the energy to hash that out again.

  “I told you nothing happened.”

  “I mean the guy that broke your heart. What was he like?”

  I pull away. “What makes you think someone broke my heart?”

  His chest moves and vibrates as he chuckles.

  “I think you would’ve went running for the hills after I told you about my family drama. But you didn’t. You’re still here. It’s like you can relate in some way.” He squeezes me.

  “I don’t think any of that reflects on you. It’s your father and Stacy that fucked up.”

  He tries a different approach. “When we met, a simple touch would make you blush and you were extremely suspicious of me.”

  “I’m not following.”

  “Olivia, I know you don’t sleep around. You made that clear. And I know I wasn’t your first.”

  “Yeah, but that doesn’t mean …”

  “C’mon, I told you about Stacy. That wasn’t just painful, it was humiliating.”

  “Fine.” I have no choice. He’s right, it’s only fair. I have to tell him about Nate; I’ll just keep a few minor details to myself. “We met in college during my freshman year. I hadn’t dated much before him, so I was a little naive. Actually a lot naive.”

  I try to pull away, but Lucas won’t let me. “Don’t. I can hear you fine from right here. I went too long without holding you.”

  He makes me feel so loved and cherished, I think for a moment of telling him the whole story. But I know better. He won’t understand.

  “He was a lot more experienced than me. He saw how taken I was with him, and he played on it.”

  “That’s where your mistrust comes from, your cynicism.”

  I shrug. “I don’t know. Maybe. The thing is, I believed him when he said he loved me. I wanted to believe him.”

  “Were you together long?”

  I nod. “Almost two years.”

  “Why did it end?”

  “While he was the only one I was with, he couldn’t say the same. After I found out, he promised he’d end things with her. But he never did, so I ended things with him.”

  Lucas kisses my cheek and squeezes me in his arms. “I’m sorry.”

  I shake my head. “Don’t be. It was my own fault. I was stupid enough to believe what he said. He’d write me beautiful poems and whisper sweet nothings to me. He made me feel like I was special.”

  “While I don’t consider myself poetic, I can tell you, I don’t say sweet things unless I mean them. So when I say I’ve never seen anyone more beautiful, it’s not something practiced and rehearsed. It’s not insincere. It’s because you are the most beautiful woman in the world to me.

  Chapter 34

  Lucas

  I stand at the sink rinsing the dishes. It’s only fair after Olivia went through the trouble of putting together such a feast. Besides, after how I treated her this week, I don’t want her to lift a finger.

  The problem isn’t in her lifting a finger; it’s her whole hand, rubbing the bulge in my pants. I close my eyes, hoping not to drop, or break anything.

  “If you don’t stop, I’m going to take you right here.”

  “Is that supposed to frighten me?” she teases, looking up at me through her lashes.

  “Just as long as you understand there are no soft mattresses or comfy cushions in here.”

  Her two front teeth sink into her bottom lip. I bend down and kiss it before pulling it between my lips and sucking on it. “You’re such a tease.”

  A proud smile covers her lips. “You have no idea.”

  “You know the best way to deal with a tease, right?”

  “How?”

  “Make her deliver.” I turn the water off, reach for the dishtowel and dry my hands.

  “Oh, yeah? How’s this for delivery?” Olivia lifts her shirt over her head, and tosses it on the floor. “Is this what you want?”

  “That’s not nearly all.”

  Her eyes don’t move from mine, don’t waver in the slightest. Her sudden show of confidence takes me by surprise. I satisfied her earlier. I know I did. I didn’t expect her to want more so soon. She’s my perfect match.

  Olivia leans against me, crushing her mouth hard against mine. She breaks from the kiss to step out of her pants. She takes my hands and rubs them over her body. I close my eyes, enjoying the softness of her curves beneath my hands.

  “Olivia.”

  She continues taking her clothes off until she stands before me bare and beautiful. She twirls around with her arms held out so I can get a better view. Fuck, Olivia is the hottest woman I’ve ever seen. My mouth falls open.

  “Is this what you want?” I ask grabbing her bare ass and slamming her hard against me.

  “Yes.” she smiles. Her eyes hold a wicked gleam. “Why are you still dressed?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Then you lost the right to undress yourself.”

  If I didn’t have her earlier, I wouldn’t betomorrow. able to control myself. My skin tingles where she touches me. She lifts my shirt over my head, and uses her mouth to explore my chest. I close my eyes, relishing each touch, wondering what brought this on. And how to ensure I get her to do it again.

  Her hands move to my pants. She rubs my ass and my bulging cock before sliding them down my legs at a snail’s pace. My cock pulses. Throbs. I don’t think I’ve ever been so hard. Ever.

  Once out of them, she drags her tongue down from my belly button to my boxer briefs. Gripping them with her teeth, she con
tinues down. Thinking of nothing but her and how she’s making me feel, I wrap my hand in her silky hair. I lead her mouth back to where I want it. On level with my cock.

  She complies easily, taking all of me in her mouth. Running her tongue up the length of my shaft. Circling around the head before a long, hard suck. I let out a slow breath. Her mouth is magic. I throw my head back, enjoying it, ready to explode.

  Olivia brings me to the brink, over and over again, pulling away just before I come. I can’t take any more. I look down at her on her knees, and worry mine won’t hold me up.

  I bend and with my hands under her arms, I lift onto the counter. Olivia curls her lips into a smile. I’m rough with her and she likes it. Her eyes welcome more.

  “You okay?” I ask just to be sure. I’m afraid if I do something wrong I’ll never see this side of her again.

  “Not yet. But it’s nothing you can’t fix.”

  Without further hesitation, I separate her knees and spread her legs wide. She throws her head back with expectancy, and leans her hips toward me, waiting for me to enter. I can’t wait any longer. I plunge inside her, enjoying the look of relief on her face.

  She grins with pleasure and moans contentedly, accommodating all of me. She holds me tight, her nails dig into my skin as I thrust deeper inside her.

  “Harder,” she yells, bracing herself against the counter. I’m happy to oblige.

  She presses one of her hands into the fresh baked apple pie next to it. With the soft gooey substance dripping from her, she wipes the gelatinous apple onto my shoulder. Leaning forward, her tongue laps my skin, with slow, long licks. She works at clearing the sticky residue off me, before reaching back into the pastry.

  Again Olivia’s hand emerges full of pie. This time she rubs it on her tits, and down to her naval. Still inside her, I slow my pace, holding her breasts as in turn I nibble and lick each one clean.

  I can tell by her breath, by her moans, she’s at the edge. She just has to relax and let herself fall, trusting I’ll be there to catch her. As she does, she screams my name. I feel her quiver around me. I can’t take anymore, I let go and fall along with her.