Loving Lucas

by Lily Ryan

  Chapter 35

  Olivia

  The whirlwind that Lucas creates around us can’t stop time. Before I know it, Sunday night creeps up on us, and I have to go home. More because we both need our space than because I live so far.

  “What’s wrong?” Lucas asks, brushing his fingers along my breast, causing my face to fill with color.

  I shake my head, “Nothing. I was just thinking tomorrow night is Christmas Eve and then Tuesday is Christmas Day.”

  “I know.”

  I look up at him coyly, “You won’t be alone will you?”

  He smiles, an amused look on his face. “No. My aunt’s having her usual Christmas shindig. Lots of family. My mother and cousins will be there and then Santa comes. It’s really nice.” He pauses a moment. “Christmas Day is usually quiet and subdued. Just my mother and me.”

  “Oh.” I work to hide my disappointment, “I’m glad.”

  “You were worried I’d be alone?” His eyes twinkle.

  I nod.

  Lucas strokes my hair, still smiling, “That’s really sweet.”

  “What can I say? I’m better than sugar.”

  “If I were going to be alone? What would you have done?”

  “I would’ve invited you to spend Christmas with my family and me.”

  “So why don’t you?”

  “You just said you have plans.”

  “Plans change.” He pulls me closer, so that I’m leaning against his chest and he’s looking down at me. “That is, if you don’t mind.”

  “Mind? I would love it.”

  “Great. But there’s one condition.”

  “Aren’t you the one crashing Christmas dinner?”

  “Fine. I won’t come.”

  I let out a long sigh feigning displeasure, “Okay, what’s your condition?”

  “You spend tomorrow night with me and my family and I’ll spend Christmas Day with yours.”

  I never spent Christmas Eve away from my parents and I can’t imagine it will go over well. What’s more, I know if I agree to go with him I’ll have to meet his mother.

  His mother!

  For a moment I can’t move. Time stands still. Suspended. The thought intimidates me even more than Lucas did on our first date. After a loud gulp I find my voice.

  “But my parents are expecting me.”

  “And my mother’s expecting me.”

  “What if she doesn’t like the idea of me coming or you spending Christmas Day with us?”

  “Oh, she’ll be upset. I’m sure. She doesn’t like to share me. But I want you to come.” His voice is smooth, and warm like melted chocolate. And somehow it holds an urgency it didn’t have before. “Besides fair is fair. I’ve already agreed to meet your parents.”

  I could find no retort for that and wish I kept my mouth shut. “Great.” I say with as much enthusiasm as I can muster up, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  *

  All the way home, my heart pounds like a set of overworked drums. My shoulders rise from their natural position, to just below my ears causing a stiff neck.

  By the time I get home the pounding in my chest works its way up to my head. I bring my cold fingers to my forehead and massage my temples. I dread making the phone call but know I’ll be much better off getting it over with.

  I pick up the phone and dial my parents. Halfway through the first ring I hang up, losing my nerve. After a few more deep breaths and a mantra of “I can do this,” I dial again.

  When my mother answers, I have a hard time speaking. My mouth is unusually dry. I doubt she’ll understand, and prepare myself for a long, drawn out argument.

  It doesn’t matter, I have to tell her I’m not going to spend Christmas Eve with my family; they’ll notice when I don’t show up. Getting up my nerve, I do my best to skirt the subject with small talk.

  Picking up on the tremulous tone in my voice my mother asks, “Honey, what’s wrong?”

  I can’t hold back any longer and let it out in one long unabbreviated sentence. “Mom, I’ve been seeing this guy, and he means a lot to me, so I invited him to spend Christmas with us, and he agreed, but said only if I spend Christmas Eve with his family.”

  Much to my surprise my mother doesn’t protest. She doesn’t even sound angry or upset. I’d even say she sounds happy.

  “Livie, that’s wonderful. I look forward to meeting him.”

  “What about Dad?”

  “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of him. Just make sure you call us tomorrow.”

  “Of course. And Mom, I love you.”

  After the conversation with my mother my body relaxes. That went much better than I expected, and I wonder why I stressed so much over it. I spend the rest of the evening preparing for the next day.

  I want to have everything ready. I rummage through my closet like a mad woman throwing outfit after outfit on my bed. My bedroom looks like a clothing store threw up in it.

  Finally I find the dress I’m looking for. A black and red sweater dress with a few large black sequins sewn on. It isn’t super dressy or super casual. I could dress it up with accessories, or down and keep it simple by taking them off. Satisfied, I clean up and climb into bed. I lie there, waiting for sleep, but my jittery nerves will have none of it.

  I close my eyes and slow my breathing ready to welcome a good night’s rest. Instead I toss and turn thinking about meeting the woman in the picture. It’s the first time I’m being brought home to meet a guy’s mother.

  With Nate, not only did he never suggest bringing me home to meet anyone, we’d have to meet a few towns over for a date. I hope I don’t blow it, don’t say something stupid or ridiculous.

  After Lucas’s past, I know she’s important to him. The most important person in his life. I have one chance to get this right. One shot at making a good first impression on his mother.

  *

  After a long, sleepless night, I find once my day starts, the hours pass quickly. My nerves get the best of me. My trembling hands force me to slow down as the day wears on. I wonder what Lucas’s mother will be like. I think back to the picture in Dr. Stillwell’s office.

  The word proper comes to mind.

  I hope a long steamy shower will relax me. Initially it works. The hot water melts away the tension in my neck. I roll my shoulders forward and backward, then twist my back.

  I lather my skin with shower gel gathering myself together, feeling better by the minute. Until I find I forgot to remove my bra. I realize there’s no relaxing for me. At least not until the night is over.

  Once dressed, I take extra care in applying my make-up. I want to highlight my eyes. I’m sure if I make them the focal point of my face Lucas’s mother will have no choice but to sustain eye contact. That’s the surest way I could fathom beginning the bonding process.

  I take one last look in the full length mirror minutes before Lucas arrives. I run my hands down the dress, admiring the way it looks with the long, black boots. It hugs my curves, but isn’t too showy.

  The doorbell rings at precisely eight o’clock just as Lucas promised. With a new found giddiness I open the door. My eyes soak him in hungrily. He looks like he just stepped out of a ski lodge in his black pants and winter sweater. The red sweater boasts snowflakes and evergreen trees. He follows my eyes.

  “I know it’s dorky, but my Aunt Rose bought it for me last Christmas. I thought I should wear it at least once.”

  “I think you look great.” I throw my arms around his neck grateful to not be alone any longer.

  “Keep this up and we’ll be spending Christmas Eve here,” he says nuzzling his lips into the nape of my neck.

  I giggle and pull away. “I missed you.”

  “I miss you every minute I’m not with you.”

  “Do I look all right?” I twirl around for him.

  “Mmm,” he says, pulling me into his arms again. “Better than all right. You look fantastic.”

  “Good.”

  “Ready to h
ave your life changed forever? Because once we leave your apartment, nothing will ever be the same.”

  The smile on my face disappears. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “You’ll find out soon enough.”

  *

  On the drive over to his aunt’s house, I notice Lucas is quieter than usual. He seems content just to hold my hand and listen to Christmas music. I on the other hand am not. I need to talk to keep in the moment and not fixate on how insecure I feel meeting his mother.

  “What do you mean my life will change forever?”

  “Are you worried?”

  “Very. You’re so cryptic, and you won’t talk to me.”

  “It’s all good. I think I like having you on the edge of your seat.” He glances over and rests his hand on my thigh, just under the rim of my dress. “Unless you want to pull over to take the edge off.”

  “Lucas!”

  He laughs. “That’s what I thought.”

  “I’m glad you’re enjoying this. But remember tomorrow you meet my parents.”

  “Only if tonight goes well.”

  I gasp feigning hurt feelings. Did his mother’s opinion mean that much to him? If she told him not to see me anymore will this be our last date? A whole new wave of anxiety washes over me.

  “A deal’s a deal! There’s no way I’m going to let you back out!”

  Lucas chuckles.

  I look out the window and tap my fingernails against one another. I hear the music to I’ll be home for Christmas on the radio, lean forward and turn up the volume.

  “This is one of my favorites.”

  He gives me a sideward glance.

  “You don’t like it?”

  “No,” he answers. “It’s depressing.”

  “How?”

  “The guy is away from home, all alone, away from the woman he loves.”

  “Yes, but that love and the spirit of the season offer him hope of returning home.”

  “If he were so hopeful he wouldn’t have to put in the disclaimer, ‘If only in my dreams.’”

  “I think he’s so optimistic about being with her he’s telling her his spirit will make its way to her even if his body can’t.”

  “Like he’s dead. So is he going to kill himself just to be with her on Christmas?”

  “You don’t think that view is a little warped?”

  He gives my hand a squeeze. “If you think I’m bad, wait until you meet my mother.”

  Chapter 36

  Lucas

  The fresh scent of pine trickles out the front door as Aunt Rose greets us with a warm welcome. She smiles at Olivia and pulls me into a long, affectionate hug. After breaking away she extends her hand introducing herself to Olivia, and leads us inside.

  The look on Olivia’s face softens. Her lips draw up into a smile at the scene we walk in on. My cousins’ four children sit on the living room floor playing happily, with a mess of wrapping paper all around them.

  Olivia takes a deep breath before moving forward to get acquainted with the rest of the family. I purposely made her nervous in the car. I didn’t want to be the only one on pins and needles.

  Scents of the season fill the air; the wood burning fire, sauce cooking in the kitchen, along with apple and cinnamon spices. I feel like I walked into the middle of a holiday movie. The good thing about those movies, they always end on a happy note.

  Aunt Rose wastes no time introducing Olivia to the family. First to her daughter’s Laura and Kara, then their husbands John and Niko, and finally, to her four grandchildren starting with the oldest Travis, working her way down to Victoria, Evan and finally Amber. After a quick hello the children turn their attention back to the trains and cars rolling across the living room floor.

  Olivia pretends not to notice when I clear my throat and open my eyes wide. I see her look up out of the corner of my eye. My aunt shrugs her shoulders and gives a slight nod toward the kitchen.

  “I’ll be right back,” I give Olivia’s hand a gentle squeeze.

  I haven’t taken more than two steps when my mother enters the room.

  “You’re here,” she announces taking me in her arms. “I didn’t hear you arrive.”

  She’s lying. I caught her peeking out of the window when we pulled up. I won’t call her on it though. I have to handle her with kid gloves. She hasn’t met anyone since Stacy. I know she isn’t keen on meeting Olivia, let alone having her with us for Christmas dinner.

  “Hi, Mom.” I take her hands in mine and kiss her on the cheek. “You look beautiful as always.”

  My mother doesn’t respond with her usual warmth. She could radiate a coolness about her that would frost windows, but she’s never been this way with me. If I don’t warm her up now, by the end of the night she’ll be downright frigid.

  Chapter 37

  Olivia

  Memories of being intimidated by my elementary school principal flood my mind as I watch the exchange between Lucas and his mother. I’m scared to death of this woman.

  Lucas’ eyes smile and dance when his mother enters the room. My stomach flips and tumbles in anticipation. I hope whatever Lucas sees in me, his mother will too.

  “So is this the young lady who’s captured your heart?” she asks, approaching me.

  Like a shy little boy, Lucas glances down at his toes. “Yes.”

  His mother looks me over from head to toe. Her pale blue eyes feel like they have tentacles that are penetrating my skin and reaching inside me.

  Yes, she’s judging my physical appearance, but it feels like she’s searching for something more. Like she wants to see into my heart and soul whether or not I’m worthy of Lucas’s love and affection.

  An eternity passes before a word is spoken. The room fills with a stifling silence. The crackling of the fire booms through the air. Every breath is held, waiting to see what happens next. Even the children seem to be placed under a magic silence spell, until Lucas’s mother welcomes me with a quick pat on the back.

  “It’s a pleasure to meet you …” I stop, realizing I have no idea what to call her.

  “Dominique.”

  “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Dominique.”

  “Likewise.”

  Everyone in the room exhales. Both the quiet and tension are replaced with laughter and warm banter.

  The food isn’t only delicious, but plentiful. Antipasto, calamari, crab legs, lobster tails, and pasta adorn the table. I try a little bit of everything and enjoy it all. I’m quiet through most of dinner, trying to get a handle on the family politics and enjoying the company.

  After dinner Lucas takes my hand and leads me to the couch. He places his arm around me, and pulls me tight against him.

  “I really should be helping clear the table.”

  He shakes his head, “Not tonight. Tonight you’re mine.” He whispers and I’m filled with a surge of heat. He brushes a loose wisp of hair from my face.

  “Having fun?”

  “Yes. Do you spend every Christmas like this?”

  “Every Christmas Eve for as long as I remember.”

  Dominique approaches the couch and clears her throat before taking a seat on the other side of me. She smiles, but I don’t feel a whole lot of warmth radiating off of her.

  “So, dear, Lucas has told me so little about you,” she says, placing her hand on my knee. It feels awkward. Strange. “What is it you do?”

  I meet Lucas’s eyes, hoping he understands my plea for help. The rapport with his mother already feels like it’s hanging on a thin line. I don’t want to do anything that might fray it.

  “Olivia works in medical billing,” Lucas answers for me.

  Dominique gasps and covers her mouth, as if someone just told her I’m a porn star. I’m thinking porn star might not be as bad. After a moment she regains her composure.

  “I assumed you were a college graduate.”

  “Olivia did graduate from college Mom, with honors,” Lucas holds a warning in his voice.

/>   “I’m just taking my time, while I figure out what to do next. I’d like to start a business,” I explain. “I’m just not sure what kind.”

  “I see.”

  The ringing doorbell interrupts the uncomfortable aura spreading over us. The children jump up from their chairs and run to the front door like sprinters in pursuit of Olympic gold.

  “Santa,” they cry, excitement spilling out of their pores.

  On cue the front door opens and in comes Santa Claus, his bag of goodies slung over his back.

  “Ho, ho, ho,” says the kind old man, in the red suit.

  The rest of the adults leave the food and dishes they’re clearing off the table and gather around Santa. John carries a dining room chair for the white haired man to sit in.

  Santa brings with him a warm cozy feeling. The lines etched in his skin around his eyes show he’s not a young man, but a rather old man. His mustache and beard are long, white and real. His smile genuine as he reaches into his sack and pulls from it, T’was the Night Before Christmas.

  The children drop to the floor and sit in silence as Santa reads. I can’t believe how even I hang on to his every word. He draws the room in and performs for his audience. After he’s finished reading, the children ask questions about the reindeer, Mrs. Claus and the North Pole.

  Santa answers them all with kindness and patience before addressing each child individually on how they can improve their behavior in the upcoming year. Once he completes his lecture, he pulls gifts from his sack.

  The awed children collect their finely wrapped boxes, stack them in piles, and wait for Santa to finish before opening any. With the children shredding the paper off their presents, I find Santa looking into my eyes.

  I wonder why he’s staring at me like that, and what Lucas’s mother will think about me getting so much attention from Santa. A wide smile forms on his face.

  “Olivia, what a pleasant surprise to find you spending Christmas Eve with Lucas,” Santa says.

  My face flushes from embarrassment as everyone in the room turns toward me. I smile in spite of myself, feeling very awkward and self-conscious, unable to think of a funny or witty response.