Breaking to Breathe

by Lisa N. Paul

  “Cate, on the other hand,” Kyle felt a stir of possessiveness take over the second Ryan spoke her name.

  “Watch what you say about her.” Kyle warned through clenched teeth.

  “Wow,” Ryan snickered. “Relax, man. All I’m saying is Cate is naturally gorgeous. But it’s like she tries to hide it. Even at Lyla’s last night, she was there, but she wasn’t. Elliot did most of the talking. Cate smiled and agreed or disagreed, but she stayed back. You didn’t notice?”

  No, he hadn’t noticed, because to Kyle, Cate was the only person at dinner the night before. It was hard for her to fade to black when she was walking under his spotlight. He’d spent most of his sleepless hours the previous night trying to figure out why she would turn down his offer to see him again. He kept coming up empty. Her rejection made no sense.

  “Uh, Kyle, that looks like it hurts, buddy; let me see your hand.” Concern tightened Ryan’s face as his gaze shifted down.

  “Shit,” Kyle howled when the pain of the fresh cut finally registered. The chunk of glass protruding from his palm was covered in blood. “Christ, this fucking stings like a sonofabitch. Yank it out, Ry,” he growled. The warm liquid trickled down his arm, dripping on the floor by his feet. Blood, so much blood. You and Nixon ruined my life. Your blood is the least you can give me in return. His father’s hatred infiltrated his mind as dizziness quickly overcame him.

  “Hey, man, let’s sit you down before you face plant; you’re turning green.” Ryan’s attempt to lead Kyle out from behind the bar and to the stool was unsuccessful.

  “Baker,” Kyle roared, “just yank the fucking glass out.”

  Danny’s hand clapped on Kyle’s shoulder, a gesture of concern with the right amount of strength to keep Kyle’s large body still. “What the hell is going on out here?” One glance at Kyle’s hand and Danny’s face went emotionless. Danny’s background wasn’t a secret. He had been in the military, and after serving the United States, Danny served his hometown by joining the fire department. Needless to say, in an emergency, you wanted Danny Marcus on your team. Just as soon as Kyle saw Danny’s all-business mug, the panic and memories faded away, leaving only the physical pain of the current wound.

  “Shit, that stings,” Kyle complained as Danny cleaned the wound before taking a better look at the laceration.

  “It could probably use a few stitches. Let me wrap it up, and I’ll drive you over to the Urgent Care Center.” Danny tossed the soiled gauze pads into the waste basket and packed away his emergency kit.

  “Okay, you wanna tell me what has you so distracted that you didn’t see a poster-sized note telling you not to use the shelf Ryan was attaching to the wall?” Serious gray eyes met Kyle’s, warning him that the time for lies had past.

  “Fine, but you gotta promise not to laugh, Danny, ‘cause this shit isn’t easy for me to discuss.” Maybe Danny could help. After all, he’d been like a father to Kyle for over ten years. No, fuck that, he’d been more than a father; he’d been a dad.

  “I can’t promise that I won’t laugh, Kyle.” The smile already curved his lips. “Half the shit you say cracks me up.”

  “And the other half?” Kyle wondered.

  “Pisses me off,” Danny admitted.

  Amused by Danny’s honesty, Kyle explained in detail everything about his three encounters with Cate Lockton. “So it wasn’t bad enough that the woman taunted me for months in my dreams, but ever since I had a taste of her, it’s like she occupies my waking thoughts, too. And she wants nothing to do with me. Nothing. With me!” The absurdity of her rejection still stunned Kyle to the core. Or maybe to the ego. Either way, he didn’t like the way it felt.

  Deep gravelly laughter filled the office as Danny’s chair squeaked with the vibration from his amusement. “Oh, man, I’m sorry, boy. But you should see your face right now. It’s priceless.” More laughter quaked from the big guy’s body.

  The embarrassment that washed over Kyle felt just as painful as the cut on his hand. “You know what? Never mind, Danny. Thanks for taking care of my hand. I’ll grab a cab to the Urgent Care.” Kyle stood to leave the office, and immediate silence filled the air.

  “Son, I apologize. Now please sit back down.”

  “No, it’s fine, Danny. Really.” However, it wasn’t fine. Kyle had trusted his friend and mentor, and he felt stupid now for doing so.

  “Boy, sit your ass down. Now.” All traces of humor were gone from Danny’s tone, replaced with the no-nonsense but affectionate growl Kyle had spent most of his adult life admiring. “Jesus, it feels like I’ve had this same conversation with all of you guys before. Can’t you take notes and share amongst yourselves, that way we can get to the individualized parts quicker?” Danny grinned at a private joke it seemed only he was privy to.

  “Listen up. I am sorry I laughed. It’s just…are you really that shocked that there is a woman out there that won’t fall all over you just because you want her?”

  “Danny, I’ve been here more than ten years. Have you ever seen me seek out women?” Danny thought briefly before shaking his head. “That’s right. It’s never happened. Then I meet Cate, and Jesus, Danny, she’s infiltrated my fucking mind. I want her; I know she wants me. We spent one night together, and it was mind-blowing.” Kyle shook his head absently, still trying to make sense of the mystery that was Cate Lockton. “So I don’t know what the problem is. After everything I saw and everything I’ve been through with my own parents, I’m willing to give her a chance. Why won’t she give me one?” He wagged his brows before adding, “I already know I can rock her world. What else is more important?”

  Danny’s stare quickly went from amused to resigned as he leaned forward in his chair, placing his hands on his knees. “Kyle, there were so many things wrong with that statement, I stopped counting after three.” Genuinely confused about what was wrong with his statement, Kyle opened his mouth to question Danny, but was interrupted when his mentor continued to speak. “Son, women are like flowers—they’re all unique, and they all deserve attention. Sometimes you’ve gotta stop and smell the flowers before you fuck em’.”

  “What? Danny, what the hell are you talking about?”

  “This whole conversation has been about you. Your wants, your needs, your history, and your disappointments. Did you give any regards to the lovely lady that you ‘want’ so much? Stop and smell the flowers, Kyle. But before you do, grab your coat and let’s head over and have your hand fixed up.

  Gathering up samples, swatches, and information to take to Charistown for the Tuesday meeting with the owners of Danny’s had garnered Cate’s full attention, therefore, Elliot’s entrance into the office from the back door startled Cate, causing her to drop her recently filled coffee cup onto the floor.

  “Jeeze, Catey, we’re gonna need to buy you one of those kid cups. You know the kind with the lid and the straw? You’re becoming quite clumsy with your coffee,” Elliot giggled as she headed off to find a roll of paper towels.

  “Maybe if you stop surprising me, I’d stop spilling.” Surveying her outfit for stains and finding none, Cate wasn’t upset about cleaning up the spill as much as she was about the loss of caffeine.

  “We’ll stop at the Starbucks on the way in to Charistown,” Elliot said, as if reading Cate’s thoughts.

  “Reading minds again, huh?” Cate’s tone held clear skepticism.

  Rolling her eyes, Elliot shot back, “No, you fool, but I can read your facial expressions, and you need caffeine. STAT. Let’s take this stuff to the car and grab you some coffee.”

  “You, ladies, have nailed it. In fact, you’ve exceeded my expectations.” For some reason, Julie’s approval meant more to Cate than anyone else’s. Which was silly since the lot of them were partners, but Julie had this maternal way about her that made Cate want to make her proud, and by the smile on her face, she and Elliot had done just that.

  Cate quietly watched as everyone went over the plans Elliot and she had drawn up for the grand re-o
pening of the bar, step-by-step. Elliot stood on the opposite end of the room, seemingly cool and at ease. She answered questions that were asked but offered no other input. She allowed their work to speak for itself. She really was an amazing salesperson. Did anything rattle that woman? Judging by her relaxed posture and easy smile, the answer was a resounding ‘no.’

  “I should have Gage take a gander at this; we could hire you ladies for some promotional materials for Gage Garage,” Max blurted as he nodded his approval. Thrilled was the overall opinion of the group. Each went as far as to state their appreciation. Everyone, that is, except the man standing just to the right of her.

  Kyle hadn’t openly acknowledged her, other than a nod of greeting, since she arrived at the bar. While everyone else crowded the tables to listen to Elliot’s spiel and study the designs and plans for the party and merchandise case, he hung back, standing close to Cate. She noticed that each time she pulled her hair over her shoulder to fidget with the long strands, his chest would expand and his nostrils would flair. Not that she was paying attention or anything. But his reactions to her actions were difficult for her to miss, especially since she was practically ogling him out of the corner of her eye. There’s no way he noticed me staring at him like a stalker, she convinced herself when their eyes connected once during the presentation.

  Sure he was alluring and beautiful, and she couldn’t deny, at least to herself, that the chemistry between them was off the charts. Being able to put down the heavy shield she carried, even for just a few hours, felt amazing—freeing. However, that’s where it ended. It had to. He wanted another night, even just a few more hours of white hot sex; thoughts of going back for more with the man whose touch seared her soul scared her to death. No freaking way could she go there again.

  So when everyone stood quietly and waited for Kyle’s opinion, Cate’s stomach seized. She knew for a fact that the work was great, wonderful even. What she didn’t know was how Mr. Dirty Em’ and Ditch Em’ would like working with the woman who didn’t want another tumble in his mud pit.

  “Looks good.” Those words dripped smoothly from Kyle’s mouth, but nothing else followed. Cate watched as his gaze caressed the long table, appearing to consume all of the information spread out before him once again. She waited knowing he had to have more to say than what he just did, even a platitude or two, but no more words surfaced. He just dug his hand into the pocket of his leather jacket and fished out his Zippo and a pack of cigarettes. “Be right back.”

  “Wait, It looks…good? Really?” The frustrated questions flew out of Cate’s mouth before she had time to bite them back.

  “Uh, yeah,” Kyle’s blasé affirmation was enough to boil Cate’s blood, but add that to the cocky grin that showcased the small round dimple on his left cheek and a nonchalant shrug as he turned to step outside for a smoke, and Cate lost her ability to remain calm. ‘Good’ was the word she’d used to describe their night together. Yes, she promised Elliot she would try to be less emotional but…but…

  “Kyle, why do you have to be such an…?” She stopped herself, sealing her lips just before the insult fully made its way into the air around them. Her eyes were closed tightly, as if not seeing those standing around her would somehow rid them from the room and erase the embarrassment of her outburst.

  The sound of his boots hitting ground stopped as the silence around her became loud. Cate breathed in and out a time or two before finally opening her lids and meeting his close, smoldering emerald gaze.

  “Cate, guess we have different opinions on the word good.” Kyle’s lips curved up. “To me, it means the best there ever was.” He winked, his dimple burrowing deeper into his cheek, before turning his back and advancing to the door. With one foot outside, Kyle called over his shoulder soberly, “As for whatever colorful word you were gonna use to finish your sentence the answer is ‘I don’t know.’ It seems to come naturally.” The bell on the door jingled as she watched it close behind him.

  The cold March air was exactly what Kyle needed to cool himself off. Christ, just being around that woman set his skin on fire. For over an hour, he had stood next to her, aware of her every move and her every breath. He’d spent an hour inhaling in her scent, as cinnamon wafted into the air each time she twirled her silken hair around her long, talented fingers. Kyle wanted to consume her each time he caught her eyes drifting over to him. In his mind, he claimed her as he grabbed her by the waist and hauled her back to his bed.

  That woman was painstakingly different from any other than he had ever known before. Where most of the chicks he knew reveled in the limelight, Cate seemed content off to the side. During the meeting, she watched from the corner as her partner enthusiastically presented the information to his coworkers. Cate was quick with information if questions were asked directly of her, but otherwise, she seemed more interested in taking in than giving out. The same as at Sunday dinner, she blended in by engaging just enough to allow people to feel comfortable around her without calling attention to herself.

  Tink…Scrape…Kyle lit his cigarette, inhaling the tobacco and allowing the motions of playing with his lighter to relax his twisted mind and hardened cock. She wanted him. He knew it. He could see it in the way she peered at him when she thought he wasn’t watching. In the same respect, he knew she was fighting the attraction. Why? He had no clue. But observing as she worried her lip, waiting for his response on their designs and ideas, and then seeing her face twist up with frustration moved him in a way he couldn’t explain. Cate Lockton didn’t seem like the kind of woman who wore her feelings on her sleeve. Yet, in the times he’d been with her, he’d seen quite a few. The big problem…he wanted more. Fuck, I’m screwed.

  “Hey,” Elliot’s perky voice came from behind, joining him on the sidewalk. “I’m gonna show you a couple of ideas in my notebook. You’re gonna nod and pretend to be interested, okay?” She shoved the pages in his face, pointing randomly to scribbles on the paper while Kyle stared quizzically at the blonde.

  “Kyle, I know we haven’t spoken much to each other, and that leads you to believe I don’t know you...” Elliot sat down on the cement and patted the space next to her. Kyle could tell by the stubborn set of her mouth and the lift of her brows, that he had no other choice than to sit his ass on the freezing concrete.

  With her eyes focused directly on his, she pointed her thumb toward the bar behind them. “That girl has been to hell and back. She not only bought the shirt, she owns the trademark.” The way she studied his face made him believe she was searching for a whole lot more than just a stray nose hair. “I can tell you’ve also fought hard…” Kyle absently touched his scar. He didn’t need a stranger to point out his flaws and give him a pity party. He needed to end this conversation before he said something he’d later regret. However, before he could stop her, Elliot lifted her hand defensively, asking him to give her a minute. “I’m not talking about your accident, Kyle. I was there that night, remember? I’m talking about your life it’s obvious to me that it’s been a struggle. I can’t begin to imagine, so I won’t pretend.” This lady looked normal, but the shit she was saying was insane. Did his friends put her up to this? Kyle pivoted his head, half expecting Max and Ryan to jump out at him. But all was quiet except for the murmurs coming from inside the bar.

  “Kyle, relax. I just call things like I see em’, and when I see you, I see pain. But I also see a bent man who is ready to make the changes he needs in order to find the happiness he deserves. Catey is my best friend. My sister. She deserves the best because God knows she’s had enough of the worst.” Elliot tucked a windblown curl behind her ear. “I can see you want to go after her…”

  “And you want to warn me off her. Is that right? Am I warm, Elliot?” Kyle sneered as the tension inched up his back and spread over his shoulders and down his arms. “Fuck, even a goddamn perfect stranger thinks I’m a piece of shit,” he muttered under his breath.

  “Stop it. Give me your attention and not your speculat
ion.” Elliot’s soft voice packed a heavy punch. Snapping like branches, the tension left his arms as Kyle lifted his eyes to hers. “Don’t put words in my mouth, Kyle. You have no idea what I’m thinking or what I know.” He watched as Elliot quickly glanced over her shoulder. She waved to Ashley and Janie through the glass front door of the bar and extended one finger, implying she’d be back in the bar in a moment.

  “What I was gonna say was, I can see you’re interested in Cate, and I’m super excited because I don’t believe for one second that your intentions are to hurt her.” Elliot’s blue eyes sparkled with honesty. “Here is a bit of advice for you. She will try to push you away. She’s amazing at keeping people at a distance. It’s what she does best. So be prepared to work hard. As I said before, I don’t believe you intend to hurt her, but if you do…” Kyle noticed how the sweet drifted from Elliot’s face, replaced with sharpness akin to how a real parent would protect their child, how he would protect his brother. “Kyle... just don’t. Okay, just don’t.” Elliot closed the cover of her notebook and lifted herself from the ground. Her smile once again shone warm and sweet. “Let’s go inside; it’s freezing out here.”

  “I think I was just threatened by that little thing,” Kyle said to the air around him as he watched Elliot bounce her way into his bar.

  Needing all of the owner’s signatures on the first set of paperwork, which she thought may have been a rule implemented just for this occasion—a little match-maker ploy. Cate made her way around the bar taking the time to chat with each of her new clients. She knew most of her time would be spent with Ashley, Lyla, and Janie, but she had enjoyed the previous Sunday evening and spending time with everyone, anyway. The banter between the men and woman played over in her mind for days. What an amazing, well-connected little family.

  With only one space left open on the contract, it was time for her to stop avoiding Kyle and coax him to sign the damn papers.