Breaking to Breathe

by Lisa N. Paul

  Finally, Kyle reached between their bodies and stroked her clit twice before pinching the bud between his finger and thumb. That movement sent Cate soaring, which in turn, set Kyle off on his own release.

  Sated in orgasmic bliss, Cate discretely wiped at her eyes, hoping Kyle thought the moisture was sweat and nothing more. She was relieved that she’d been able to keep her tears in check during their encounter, but part of her missed the relief that came with her emotional release. As her breathing returned to normal, and Kyle lazily stroked her arm, Cate did something she’d never done before. She fell asleep in the arms of a lover and spent the night beside him.

  After spending nearly twenty-four hours with Cate, Kyle hated leaving her warm, naked body asleep in his bed, even if it was just to go to physical therapy. As he stretched his legs, the burn spreading through each muscle and tendon, he thought about their talk the previous night. Even though it was hard for him to lay his past out for her to see, once he started speaking, it was easy to continue. There was no judgment in Cate’s eyes, no holding back in her touch. She simply understood who he was and where he came from, just like his family from Danny’s. Where they had known him for years and she only for weeks, it didn’t matter. Because just like he knew on that first night they met in the storm, he was reminded each time he saw her since—she was made for him, of that he was certain.

  From the moment he laid eyes on Cate Lockton, Kyle’s life had been filled with firsts. Some of them painful, such as the realization that the past would never be behind him if he didn’t finally live it down; some of them peaceful, like learning that he no longer walked the earth alone, but with a family that had his back and loved him unconditionally, and some of it blissful as he found himself in love with a woman who owned his heart. He gave all of himself to her last night; his past, his soul and his love, the only thing he held back were words. Those she wouldn’t agree to accept. Instead, he lived another first by showing the feelings she refused to hear. Rather than mind melting sex with a hot nameless chick, he made soul searing love to the woman that possessed his inner being.

  Bright streaks of sunlight painted Cate’s body as she slowly opened her eyes. “Shit,” she knifed up in the unfamiliar bed, reaching for the blankets to cover her naked skin. Sleepovers not being part of her normal routine, it took several seconds for the surroundings to marinate in her now very alert mind. She wasn’t in her own bed, but in Kyle’s, and judging by the empty pillow beside her and the silence all around, she was the only one in the apartment.

  A montage of memories from the previous night shuffled through her head. The stories Kyle told her about his childhood, the hatred he suffered at the hands of his parents, and the way he protected his little brother even though the cost to him was high and permanent. The letter—that horrific letter his vile excuse of a mother left for him. The self-loathing and disgust he harbored most of his life until he saw no way out and no way up, and then how he found the strength to go on even when his life seemed bleak and worthless.

  With so much pain and grief, he still had love to give, and he wanted to give it to her. Cate’s strength, however, didn’t run as deep as Kyle’s. She wasn’t nearly as brave. When he wanted to give her his heart, she forced him to tuck it back in his chest. No, she couldn’t hear him say those words, and she couldn’t say them back. But Kyle was stubborn, and he found a way to show her. There in the dark, the guy took her breath away, and then did much more as he mastered her body in a way no man had ever done before.

  Goose bumps covered her skin just from the memories of his firm hands gliding down her hips and between her thighs. When she used her own fingers to spread her soft folds, she found herself wet and ready even in his absence. Circling her swollen needy clit with her middle finger, Cate lowered her lids and let her head drop back on the plush pillow. Her other hand traveled up her torso cupping her breast with a tight squeeze. A rush of air spilled from her mouth as she pinched her erect nipple between her middle finger and her thumb.

  Plunging two digits into her core, she swiped the wetness up to her tight bud and rubbed herself until small sparks started firing behind her lids. In her mind, it was Kyle’s thick fingers and strong arms that were pleasuring her body and rocking her world.

  “Oh…Kyle,” she moaned as the first wave of climax began to wash over her.

  “Fuck, you’re the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.” Cate’s eyes snapped open as she gasped and reached for the blanket. The move was based more on instinct than embarrassment. Fact was, the way Kyle looked at her was almost as erotic as the dirty words he used.

  “Drop it,” Kyle growled, motioning to the cover, his eyes flaring with desire as they ran the length of her naked body. Watching as he consumed her with his gaze made Cate bold, hot, and wanton.

  “I’ll drop this if you drop those,” Cate used the finger that had been deep inside her just seconds before to gesture to Kyle’s track pants and then turned the digit toward her mouth, twirling her tongue around the still glistening juices.

  “Fuuuck me.” Kyle’s hungry eyes raked over her naked body.

  “That’s my intention.” Cate cooed. When Kyle reached behind his neck to yank off his tank top, her mouth went dry. Sure she’d seen his naked body more than a few times, but there was something so primal about him, so innately masculine and sexual that just seeing his cut biceps, chiseled chest, and rippled abs all adorned with art and scarred with history left her speechless.

  “Everything I’ve ever lived through—everything that’s ever been done to me or I’ve put my body through was worth it just to see that hunger in your eyes. You’re ravenous, Angel. Let me satisfy you.” The bed dipped as Kyle started from the foot of the king-sized mattress and stalked slowly up to her. Parting her legs from the ankles he nestled himself in between her thighs and sated both of their appetites.

  How Things Are Done

  “HERE’S TO A girls’ night out. Let’s down our shots and shout. We’ll chat and giggle, while we gossip a little. What the fuck, we’ll gossip a lot!” Cate and the rest of the ladies slammed back the first drink of the night.

  Wiping the tears from the corners of her eyes, Elliot continued to laugh, “Lyla, you make the best toasts.”

  “So,” Ashley nodded at both Cate and Elliot, “Lyla, Janie, and I, and of course the rest of the group wanted to thank you girls for all of the work you’ve done so far to organize the grand re-opening party in such a short time.” Gratitude was evident each and every time they spoke. It was something Cate and Elliot discussed after each meeting, making this thank you celebration unnecessary but kind. They were having drinks at Ashley’s favorite bar, other than her own of course, The Sombrero.

  “Are you kidding? We’ve loved every minute of this,” Elliot cooed, sipping her Lemontini. “Haven’t we, Catey?”

  Before Cate could do anything more than smile, Lyla piped up, “Well, we know you’ve enjoyed working with us, haven’t ya, Cate?” Lyla gave an exaggerated wink and poured back another shot.

  “Ly, come on; we discussed this. Give the girl some privacy.” Janie grinned sweetly before flicking Lyla’s arm and sipping her margarita. Having not been the center of attention in twenty years, Cate felt a blush creep into her cheeks.

  “You’re doing fine, Catey; we’re all just friends hanging out,” Elliot whispered reassuringly in her ear.

  “Hey, we promised to give them privacy back when this whole thing started. But obviously, there’s something really special going on between them. Seriously, ladies, were you not in the same room with me yesterday?” A satisfied look covered her three new friend’s faces simultaneously, causing Cate’s pulse to quicken and a pit to form in her belly.

  “What happened yesterday?” All Cate knew was that while her and Elliot’s business was literally sinking, there was an impromptu meeting going on at Danny’s on Main. Thinking back to the hours spent with Kyle, aside from learning about his family, he showed no signs that anything else was wrong in h
is life. What didn’t she know?

  “Cate honey, I’m gonna go order the next round of drinks while our new friends,” Elliot arched her brow, “What is it Danny calls you, the Dolls? While they settle the shit storm they just whipped up. Isn’t that right, girls?” Cate couldn’t help but snort at Elliot’s snarky comment. Her friend was becoming defensive on her behalf, and the Texas was coming out little by little. If the Dolls knew what was good for them, they would start talking and soon.

  “We have waitress service, spunky, so sit your ass down and let us explain, okay?” Lyla waived over the waitress, ordered the round, and continued the conversation. “Ash, did you tell her what the meeting was about?”

  “No, when I spoke to Cate yesterday, I didn’t even know what the fuck it was about.” The defensive tone in Ashley’s voice started to make Cate even more nervous.

  “Girls,” Cate barked, “I’m sitting right here. Christ, talk to me.” Wow where had that come from? She’d never pulled the spotlight over to her corner before. Clearly her outburst didn’t stun only her, if Elliot’s reaction was an indicator. Even with her hand covering her mouth, there was no hiding the huge smile that was looming behind the shield.

  “Oookay, you’re right. You are here. I guess sometimes I forget. You have this way about you… has anyone ever told you that? It’s like you can make yourself…”

  “Invisible,” Cate finished Lyla’s sentence. “I know. I’ve spent years perfecting that skill. Can we move on?” Spilling personal information carelessly wasn’t normal for Cate either, and she saw the impact it had on her new friends’ faces. Something quickly flashed through Lyla’s eyes, was it understanding? Compassion? Or plain sympathy? Cate didn’t know, nor did it matter because in that moment she pushed all other things aside, wanting only to learn out what was going on with Kyle.

  Janie explained how Kyle had been the one to call the meeting in the first place, requesting each of the partners to attend. And with him being as out of sorts and scattered as he’d been for so long, no one had a clue what he was going to say, even she took off from work to hear him out.

  “However,” Ashley interrupted, “in the past few weeks, things have been different. He’s been different.” She sipped her drink, making eye contact with both Janie and Lyla before she continued with a small grin. “I’ve known Kyle the longest out of anyone at this table, and since the day we met, he’s always been, hmm, I don’t know…dark. Sad, I guess would be a better word. I know tiny bits and pieces of his fucked up childhood, but not much more. None of us do.” She looked pointedly at Lyla. “Well, most of us don’t.” Cate wondered just how much the raven-haired beauty who was no more than a sister knew about Kyle’s life. Jealousy squeezed her gut, as she once again felt the green-eyed monster rear its ugly head. Downing another shot, she forced her attention back to Ashley.

  “For the last year, Kyle had been a little more than the walking dead. That man had avoidance down to an art form, and there were times when I swore we were gonna lose him.” When Ashley’s voice broke, Lyla picked up and continued.

  “We were never going to lose him, Ash. We wouldn’t have let that happen. He just hadn’t found his reason yet.” The way Lyla said reason was cryptic, but the way her icy blue eyes met Cate’s when she said it, well that was downright haunting. Feeling unsettled, Cate twisted her hair around her knuckles and waited impatiently for Lyla to finish.

  “Kyle hit his bottom and dwelled there for a bit, right around the time he realized there was no place left but up, all sorts of light came his way.” Once again, Lyla’s gaze fell to Cate, as did the rest of the girls’ including Elliot’s.

  “While I haven’t known him as long as Ashley, I’d like to say I probably know him best…” Cate’s grip tightened around the stem of her glass, and nausea rippled in her stomach as thoughts of Kyle sharing with any of those women, her new friends, the intimacy he shared with her, made her ill.

  “Breathe, Cate,” Lyla’s smile was genuine and kind. “Kyle is the brother I never knew I wanted and often want to beat-up. I promise you, there is nothing between us but the best of friendship.” For some reason, even though trust was something so difficult for Cate to give, she believed Lyla’s promise and her fear subsided just as quickly as it came.

  Janie broke the silence just before it went from comfortable to awkward. “I know it may not seem like it sometimes, but we,” she motioned between the dynamic triple play sitting at the table, “have only the best of intentions. We love each other and take care of our own, because well…for most of us this group is the only family we have. Or in my case, the only family that counts.” There was no mistaking the old wounds buried behind Janie’s turquoise irises, nor the sincerity in message. Maybe it was time for Cate to let go of past hurts and trust that people were inherently good and even those that messed up could change for the better. Maybe her life would be happier if she would let go of it all and just live.

  “Are you girls saying, you think I have something to do with Kyle’s sudden happiness?” God, did she really just ask that question? Yep. Did she even want to hear the answer? “You know what? Don’t answer that. I don’t want to know.”

  “Catey, I barely know the dirty sexicle, and even I’ve seen a complete difference from that first Thursday until now.” Elliot giggled and sipped her cocktail. “I know it makes you uncomfortable to think that your presence affects the outcome of anything, but that man saw you…the real you, and hell if he hasn’t gone from a pig to Pegasus in record time.”

  “Now that is a perfect toast, Elliot.” Lyla lifted her glass. “From pig to Pegasus.” The women laughed and chatted for hours, not noticing that the bar had emptied of all patrons but them.

  “Would you look what we have here.” Max’s deep voice was filled with humor as he scanned the table of drunk and happy women. His gaze immediately landed on Janie, his nostrils flared slightly as he nodded. “We were wondering if you ladies would still be out once Danny’s closed.”

  “You kidding? This is déjà vu, man. Been here and done this.” Ryan weaved his way around the table, approaching Ashley from behind. He swept her long blonde and purple streaked hair to one side, running his lips from the nape of her neck to her ear, breathing in her scent. “And I would do it a thousand times, Princess.”

  Cate stared longingly at the couples before her. They were so in love, so perfect together, and so incredibly sexy. In the past, she would have seen such affection and sworn it was for show, but after learning how such intimacy felt, her body longed for the man who taught it to her. Her desire for Kyle’s presence was so strong she even swore she smelled him. His spicy cologne, the wintermint gum he chewed, and the faint smell of cigarettes that clung more to his clothes than his breath due to his incredible desire to quit. God, what that man did to her.

  When none of the women initially saw the guys walk into The Sombrero, Kyle took the opportunity to observe Cate. He did it from a distance since her reflexes were pretty keen, as his arm would likely never forget. When Max and Ryan made their presence known, Kyle stayed back and noted as Cate sat stiffly, studying the two couples, watching them engage in their typical PDA, he then followed her gaze to the bar where Lyla was flirting animatedly with what could only be her hook-up du’jour. He hadn’t a clue what was going through Cate’s mind at that moment, but she seemed lonely, maybe longing. Of course, that could’ve been him projecting his feelings onto her. Because he was Jonesing just to touch her. It had only been about twelve hours since he had her in his bed, just a half a day since he had her wrapped tightly in his arms, but he wanted her back. He needed another night. Who was he kidding? He needed many nights, all the nights.

  As he stalked closer, he knew the minute she sensed his presence. Her shoulders lifted as if she was inhaling, taking in his scent, his very being. He leaned down and whispered in her ear. “You knew I was here, didn’t you? Just realized it?” Her head dipped, and confirmation was clear. “I’ve thought about you all night. Sitt
ing here with the girls, laughing, drinking, and looking fucking gorgeous… men consuming you with their eyes. Thinking they have a chance.” The thought made him want to tear the place apart with his bare hands. “Come home with me, Angel. I’ll fuck you.” He nipped her ear lobe. “I’ll ravage you.” He left a small bite on her neck. “And I’ll have you forgetting life existed before me.” When she opened her mouth, he claimed it in a kiss so primal, so passionate it wasn’t until their five friends started humming loudly that he remembered there was an audience.

  Cate’s eyes glazed, her cheeks flushed, and her pulse thrummed in the column of her neck; she was a fucking goddess. “Um, wait, I…” Kyle chuckled, between the drinks and his comments, the woman was clearly frazzled. “What about Ells? We drove here together, and she drank just as much as I did.”

  “No, I didn’t, Catey. I stopped drinking hours ago. When I saw there was no slowing you down, I switched to water. I’m sober and ready to head home.” Kyle observed that way the two friends interacted. There was true love between them and a lot of respect and loyalty. They were a mini version of his family and already blending in well.

  Once Elliot promised to text when she arrived at her apartment, Cate sighed in what appeared like relief. “Ells, I’ll be back at my place pretty early tomorrow to organize our client information before I need to leave for West Virginia.”

  “Take your time, Catey Cat. I have a feeling you won’t be all that motivated to leave when you’re all snug and warm.” Elliot’s wink had Kyle chuckling as he pulled Cate tighter into his chest. He mouthed a thank you, to Elliot, a person who was becoming another sister to him and placed a soft kiss on the crown of Cate’s soft hair.

  As they all made their way to the exit of The Sombrero, Cate paused mid-step. “Wait, we didn’t pay the check.”