This Is 35

by Stacey Wiedower

  No, before tonight, Leo's interest in her had never been more than a paranoid feeling. And subtlety wasn't in Erin's deck of cards—she'd never been good at recognizing it. If she had, she would have run into Ben's arms months—years—before she did.

  Ben. Oh God. She really did have to tell Ben what was going on. What if he already suspected that something had happened between her and Leo?

  "Are you OK?" Sherri's voice jarred Erin out of her thoughts. Thinking wasn't what she needed right now. She had to take action.

  "I'm OK," Erin said. "I need to let you go. I'm changing my flight home to tomorrow morning instead of Friday. YOLO is just going to have to do without me for a couple days. I need to talk this out with Ben."

  Sherri blew out a relieved-sounding breath. "I think that's a good idea. Text me when you get home."

  She knew one reason she was rushing home was that she didn't want to face Leo, and that made her feel like a huge coward. But overpowering that feeling was a deep, intense need to be with her husband. She wanted to tell him everything she now realized had been going on with Leo, but she didn't want to do it over the phone.

  As soon as she hung up with Sherri, she opened her American Airlines app to adjust her flight. That took some time, and once it was finished, she texted Ben and told him she was exhausted and getting into bed and would call him in the morning. Little did he know it'd be from the car on her way to LAX.

  This time tomorrow night, she'd be in Ben's arms. It was that thought that finally allowed her to drift off to sleep, albeit a fitful one marked by colorful, uneasy dreams.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  I Just Want to Dance with You

  September 12, nine months to thirty-five

  Erin climbed out of the Uber onto the sidewalk in front of her house, giving in when her driver, a well-dressed, 50-ish man with a salt-and-pepper beard, insisted on helping her pull her suitcase and carry-on out of the trunk. Ben's SUV had started making a noise sometime in the past two weeks, and so he'd had a friend drive him to the airport parking garage to get Erin's car so he could drop his at the shop. Clearly he'd picked it back up because Erin's black Honda CRV was parked in the driveway.

  She thanked the driver and then fished around in her bag for her keys, pausing to grab the mail out of the box.

  Ben didn't know she was here.

  Erin luxuriated in that knowledge, mulling over the many ways she could unveil her surprise. Sure, she was here to avoid dealing with Leo until she'd talked to Ben, but she was also here because she simply wanted to be here. She wanted Ben.

  Since she had a car, she decided to make a run to the grocery store. The house was probably low on food. After she'd dropped the mail on the kitchen counter, she unloaded her suitcases in the bedroom and changed into running shorts and Nikes, thinking she might also fit in a run since Ben was sure to get home late. With that thought, she decided she'd better tell him she was here, and soon. Otherwise he might not arrive home till ten or after—maybe even midnight. She grabbed her purse and went out the back door, locking it behind her. She was pulling her cell phone out of her bag when it started buzzing in her hand.

  She glanced at the screen, expecting Ben and getting ready to answer with a joke about how they were on the same wavelength. Instead she was greeted with an unfamiliar number, identified only as "Los Angeles, California."

  Erin tensed. Was this Leo calling from another number? His was listed in her contacts because of the show. She wasn't expecting a call from anybody else related to YOLO. She'd talked to Rishi that morning and told her an emergency had come up at home and she needed to leave a day ahead of schedule. Rishi had acted like it was no big deal, taking note of the segments Erin was working on and promising to let Jarvis know.

  She contemplated letting the call go to voicemail but decided at the last second to pick up. Maybe there was some sort of crisis situation at work.

  "Hello?" She cringed, leaning against her car door instead of opening it. She braced herself for the sound of Leo's voice.

  It was Joey who answered her. "Girlfriend. How'd you break parole?"

  Erin relaxed instantly, a smile breaking out across her face.

  "Time off for good behavior," she said. "How are things going in there today?"

  "Eh," he said. "A little…off. You're not the only one who ditched today. Jeanette called in with a migraine, Rishi's already left because Sandeep came into town early, and I haven't seen Jarvis, Lena, or Leo all day. Otherwise, SSDD."

  Erin tensed at the sound of Leo's name. She could hear the curiosity burning underneath Joey's words, so she headed him off. "Wondering why I cut out early?" she asked. "What did Rishi tell you?"

  "Nothing," he said. She could hear the smile in his voice. "That's why I had to call. You know me, queen of all office gossip."

  "As if," Erin said. "That's Eileen's job. Although she'd never admit it."

  "True dat." He paused. "Seriously, though, everything all right? Why'd you bust out of here so fast without telling anybody?"

  For half a second, Erin considered telling him the truth. She trusted Joey, and she wouldn't mind hearing his opinion on the Leo situation. She also wouldn't mind further elaboration on the whereabouts of Jarvis, Lena, and Leo. Were they off somewhere together working on the show, or was Leo avoiding work today, too?

  "Oh, um, my mom called yesterday and told me they're moving my aunt to hospice. She thought I should come home right away, so I booked an earlier flight." Erin scrunched up her face—she was a terrible liar, though this was partial truth. It wasn't her aunt who was in hospice, but her mother's close friend from her book club, Darlene, who'd been diagnosed four months earlier with metastatic breast cancer. Erin did hope to go with her mom to visit Darlene while she was in town this weekend.

  "I thought your aunt and uncle lived in Pittsburg?"

  Crap, have I told him that? Seriously, if lying were a martial art, she wouldn't even earn a white belt.

  "She's my aunt, with quotation marks," Erin said. "She's a very close family friend." That, at least, was true.

  "Don't worry. Your secret's safe with me," Joey said. He didn't press her any more, but Erin knew he knew she was hiding something.

  "Honestly, I just need an extra day at home," she said, trying not to sound defensive. "Find the strength to finish this thing. I'm beat."

  "You and me both, sister." Joey's good-natured tone put Erin at ease. "And hey, while we're on the phone, can you tell me again where you made those notes for the Holmes County piece?" One of their contestants this season had spent a month living in an Amish settlement in northeast Ohio.

  The conversation morphed into chatting about work, and thankfully Joey didn't seem to know anything about Erin's encounter with Leo or suspect that he was the reason she'd fled L.A. After they hung up she started her car and made her way to the Trader Joe's on Greenville.

  She was on her way home, resisting the urge to order takeout from Velvet Taco, when she finally called Ben. Now that she was here—about to actually face him and talk to him about Leo and how she'd let things get too far before realizing anything was going on—she found that her palms were sweaty, and her heart was beating out a loud, staccato rhythm as she waited for him to pick up.

  She felt guilty even though she hadn't done anything wrong.

  Just when she was sure the call would go to voicemail, Ben answered. "Hey, E, I was just thinking about you."

  Erin's heart skipped another beat. Instantly, Ben's soothing tenor, his scarcely perceptible drawl, quelled her panic. "Hey, hon." She actually smiled. "What were you thinking?"

  "I was wishing you were here, actually."

  Erin laughed. "Is that so?" She giggled again, feeling giddy. So much lighter than she had a minute earlier.

  "What's funny?"

  "I'll tell you in a minute. Why were you wishing I was there?"

  Ben didn't respond for a few seconds, and when he did, his voice was lower. "Well, when you put it like that…" Erin fel
t a hunger pang that had nothing to do with the groceries in her backseat.

  His voice rose to a normal level. "Lanakin Technologies is throwing a cocktail party for the lab tonight, and I wish you could come. Actually get some of the benefit of these long hours I've been putting in on this study. And meet the rest of the team. Liang's here, and so are some of the reps I met with up in Minnesota."

  Erin barely heard the last part of what he'd said, disappointment pooling in her stomach. So much for the cozy, home-cooked meal she'd planned. So much for snuggling together and comforting each other after she told Ben about Leo's near assault. She might not even get a chance to talk to him tonight. They'd be at a party, and then they'd get home late, and then Ben would probably be too tired to talk. But at least she could go with him to the party.

  She perked up at the prospect of telling him.

  "Weeeell," she said. "As it turns out, I can go with you tonight."

  Ben was silent for a prolonged moment. "What?" he said. "When's your flight? Aren't you working today? I thought you were coming home tomorrow night."

  Erin turned the car, angling it over the lip of their driveway. She guided it into the same spot outside the garage so she could easily haul in the groceries. Once she had the car in park, she switched over from hands-free and pressed the phone against her ear.

  "I changed my flight. I wanted to come home a day early, and I'm here now. I just pulled into the driveway."

  "Did you take a cab? I have your car." He sounded flabbergasted.

  Erin giggled again. "I took an Uber from the airport. I just got back from the grocery store." She mock pouted. "I was going to cook us dinner tonight."

  Ben gave an easy laugh. "Now, that's something I wish I didn't have to miss." His voice was considerably brighter. "But you're here," he said. "So you really can go with me tonight? You don't have to work?"

  Erin made a face. "No, I don't have to work. I'm here to get away from work." And away from co-workers. A certain co-worker, at least.

  "Well, great." Erin heard a male voice in the background, and then Ben's voice grew faint as he answered a question she couldn't make out. "I've gotta go," he said after a long pause. "The party starts at seven-thirty, and it's downtown. I'll come home first."

  Erin grinned. That meant he'd be home much, much earlier than usual. Maybe early enough for her to talk to him before they left. And do other things before they left. Still hearing the voice in the background and recognizing it as Nate's, her smile widened and became mischievous. She dropped her voice to a seductive murmur. "I'll make it worth your while."

  "OK, gotta run," he said, and Erin's smile faded when she realized he hadn't heard her.

  Oh, well. At least he'll be here in a couple of hours. And she could cook him dinner tomorrow night, so all this food—and her newfound cooking skills—wouldn't go to waste. She hummed to herself as she lugged the brown paper sacks from the backseat up the steps to the back door.

  * * *

  When Ben keyed into the back door at six-fifteen, Erin was standing in their closet. She stayed there until she heard his keys and wallet drop onto the counter and his brisk steps cross the hardwood floor of the living room.

  "E?" he called out. "You here?"

  When he reached their bedroom and took a few steps inside, Erin emerged from the closet holding two dresses on hangers, one in each hand. Behind them, she was wearing a navy lace thong and push-up bra she'd bought for their honeymoon along with her go-to party heels.

  "Which dress do you think I should wear?" she asked innocently, holding the two options far enough apart for Ben to glimpse the option she really wanted him to see. He was already unbuttoning his shirt. Convenient.

  "Holy hell," he said. He closed the gap between them in two strides, engulfing her and both dresses in a tight embrace. He covered her mouth with his, and Erin let the hangers fall to the floor.

  "Never mind," she mumbled between kisses, letting out a giggle. Her scheme had worked better than she'd hoped. Twenty minutes later she lay curled against his side, a mingled pile of dress slacks, lingerie, and stilettos in a twisted heap beside the bed.

  She peeked up at him. His eyes were closed, his arm draped across her bare shoulder and his chest glistening with a light sheen of sweat. This is perfect. Absolute perfection.

  And Leo thought he could mess this up? The unwelcome thought stormed in and ruined her perfect moment, and she bristled with indignation. Leo had been with them on their honeymoon, had seen the way they were together. And still he thought he had a chance? That he had a right?

  She raised herself up on one elbow and looked down at her husband's peaceful expression.

  "Um, hon?"

  "Mmm-hmm?" Ben didn't open his eyes. And then, a second later, both eyes popped open. "Oh," he said. "Right. We've got to get ready to go." He pulled away from her, carefully extracting his arm from underneath her body.

  That wasn't exactly what she'd had in mind, but she followed and slid off the bed, which surprisingly he'd made that morning. Ben stooped to pick up the dresses she'd discarded to the floor.

  "Sorry about your dresses," he said, winking at her. He glanced at them, looking slightly baffled as he considered the choices. One was an LBD, conservative and slightly bland—probably just right for a corporate cocktail party. The other was shorter and navy blue with wide lace shoulders, a deep V-neck, and a flared skirt with a lace overlay that extended an inch or two beyond the hem. Much more fun and definitely sexier.

  He started to hold out the black dress and then changed his mind and thrust the hanger with the navy dress toward her. "This one?"

  Erin smiled and took it from him. "You sure? The other one might be more appropriate for this crowd." She really wanted to wear the navy dress, especially knowing The Nemesis would be at this party likely wearing some version of the boring black dress still in Ben's hand.

  Ben hung the black dress on the closet doorknob, the hem crumpling and pooling on the floor. And then he turned to look at Erin. "I have no problem showing up with the sexiest woman at this party on my arm."

  He stepped into the shower and turned it on. "Care to join me?"

  Her insides turned to a pool of mush, and she forgot for the moment that she'd wanted to talk to him before they left for the party. Knowing they'd be late now and not caring, she hung the blue dress from the casing along the top of the closet door and followed her husband into the glass enclosure, already steamed up and about to get even steamier.

  * * *

  Ben talked a blue streak on the way downtown, which wasn't characteristic. Apparently while Erin was in L.A. the past two and a half weeks, The Nemesis had lived up to her name even more than usual. She'd just dumped another huge new project in Ben's lap—on top of the Lester trial, which was still going on, and the Charleston grant, which Ben had pushed through the final layers of approval and submitted a week earlier. If his team won—which was a long shot, he said—it would mean more traveling. Traveling on top of traveling. Work on top of work. Erin didn't see how he could fit any more hours into his workweek.

  He seemed excited about the new project, though.

  He turned off the access road and entered the interstate ramp, checking his mirrors as he merged, talking the entire time. Traffic heading this direction, toward downtown, at this time of night was moving steadily, which was good because they were already past fashionably late.

  "It's extremely rare," he was saying. "Only one child in about ten thousand is born with this genetic abnormality, which means until now very few resources have been funneled into this research. And most of the kids who get this diagnosis die within a year. There's not a single patient who's lived past age ten. The fact that this girl's father is a documentary filmmaker is, well, it's a miracle, really. I don't know how anybody could help kids with this condition more than someone in his position. Besides raising funds—and the mother's also working to get a foundation off the ground—this family is raising a huge level of awareness for
this disease and for other genetic diseases. It could give all sorts of kids and families a chance who've sort of slipped through the cracks in the medical field up till now."

  "That's really awesome," Erin said. It felt like inadequate praise, but she was used to feeling that way about Ben's work. As a general rule, she tried not to compare her career to his. There was no comparison—she wasn't exactly saving lives. But when she said something to that effect, Ben was always quick to point out that giving people an escape from their hard, everyday lives was important work, too.

  "And isn't it hard to believe that this little girl is Melody's cousin? What are the chances of that, that they'd have a genetic researcher in their family?"

  "Wait, the girl with the disease is related to Melody?" Erin hadn't heard that part. He must have said it while she was trying to find her way in edgewise to broach the subject of Leo.

  "Yeah, they're cousins. Like, second cousins. Or actually first cousins once removed, I think." Of course that distinction would be important to a genomicist.

  "Is that why your hospital is taking part in this project, then?" Ben had mentioned that the girl lived in Florida.

  "Yeah. As soon as Melody heard what was going on, she filed a funding application with the hospital board. It hasn't been approved yet, and that could take some time, but because of the family connection, the girl's father wants to work with our team. He's flying us down to Tampa in a week."

  "You and Melody are going to Tampa?" Erin couldn't keep the frown out of her voice, hating that in the face of such potentially important work, she was caught up in petty jealousies. But she couldn't help it—Ben was her husband, and Melody saw far more of him these days than she did. The thought caused Leo's face to reenter her mind.

  "Yeah, in just over a week." Ben's voice changed, too, took on a slightly wary tone. "It's not actually Tampa. It's a town about halfway between Tampa and Fort Myers. We're flying into Tampa and probably partnering with the children's hospital there and renting their labs. But first Melody wants me to meet Kayleigh, her cousin. She's been in and out of the hospital for tests, but right now she's home, and they're all gearing up for the therapy to start."