A Guy's Guide to Being a Man's Man

by Frank Vincent

  Now that you’re going steady, you should do the right thing by her when special occasions do arise, like birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine’s Day, job promotions—anything you and your lady deem important. A man’s man always knows how to put on a top-notch celebration with a creative touch. Remember, a man’s man sometimes plans these things as much as a year in advance. For instance, if you really love your girl, you know the anniversary will be coming down the pike. So, what you do is save all the emails you sent each other over the past year, print them up, make a nice cover, get them bound at Kinko’s and give it to her on your anniversary. (But don’t include stuff like the pissed-off email she sent you for forgetting to put down the toilet seat at her place over and over and over again.) And don’t just hand it to her. A guy would do something like that. A man’s man takes his lovely lady out to her favorite restaurant and sets it up prior with the hostess that when you both get seated, the hostess hands you a menu and your lady the special book you prepared. She’ll be wowed by this man’s man maneuver. The email book is the perfect gift: personal, unique and something you can’t buy at any store, anywhere.

  A man’s man also doesn’t mind spending some money on these ultra-special dates, either. Every man knows that women love to visit tropical locations, and her birthday is the perfect occasion to take a nice long weekend with that in mind. The element of surprise is the key—do not share with her that you’re booking this weekend of love. Take care of all the details and reservations yourself. Book an oceanfront room and speak with the concierge at the hotel to book some spa treatments for your lady. Where to go and stay, you ask? Well, the Bahamas is a top man’s man choice, and what better place than the Atlantis on Paradise Island? It’s the perfect destination to have some fun in the sun. The Atlantis is a unique and beautiful hotel. It has the largest outdoor aquarium in this hemisphere with very rare sea creatures—women love that sort of thing. Also, there are photographers walking around (not paparazzi) that take couples’ pictures at a few key areas around the resort, like by the casino and alongside the fountains. Do not give your woman any grief about posing for this type of photo. It makes a great keepsake, and with the both of you looking tan and relaxed, it will be the ideal photo to put up on the fireplace mantel when you get home.

  So now you’ve learned how a man’s man treats the love of his life. It’s not too hard to figure out, but let me recap for a moment. Remember, don’t ever attach yourself to your girlfriend like Velcro. You need to give her a little space, and she’ll do the same for you. One of the biggest aphrodisiacs for a woman is a guy who has a life and career outside of the relationship. That does not mean you neglect her! You must remember to send her “just because” gifts and to go all-out for special occasions. The key is to make your lady feel loved and special while maintaining enough breathing room so that, when you see each other, it is always fresh and exciting.

  All right, you’re now finally dating like a true man’s man. Does it feel good? I bet it does!

  Watching Movies Like a Man’s Man

  Movies have always been a big influence in my life, and not just because I have had the good fortune of being able to act in them. It’s more that, as a young boy growing up in Jersey City, New Jersey, I watched them all the time. It was an era where there was no cable, no video games, no Blockbuster, and only two or three television stations to choose from. Try to imagine ten family members huddled around one small TV eating popcorn while watching channel Thirteen. Today, you’d rather shoot yourself in the head if that was your only option. But that was the way it was back then. Growing up, the only place to watch movies was at the movie theater, and I loved all the man’s man Western, gangster, sports, and war movies.

  Not so sure what a man’s man movie is all about? A man’s man movie is packed with action, guns, heists, humor, car chases, and explosions—and a little “T&A” never hurts. A guy just channel-surfs and watches whatever the late-night movie is, but a man’s man has at his fingertips an arsenal of DVDs fully locked and loaded that would make even Clint Eastwood smile. When a man’s man gets together with his pals or even when he’s home relaxing, he sits down to a movie that is guaranteed to have more testosterone than a Gold’s Gym.

  This section is all about the very best man’s man movies on the market. We are going to span time—from the classics to the most current hit films. These are movies you should watch over and over again. Movies helmed by such renowned man’s man directors as Martin Scorsese, Brian De Palma, John Ford, and Francis Ford Coppola, and starring such well-known man’s man actors like Steve McQueen, Paul Newman, Robert De Niro, and Humphrey Bogart. I am going to cover such popular categories as gangster, Western, war, and sports and tell you the top ten films in each. I am also going to tell you the most memorable man’s man line in each film. Is “Go home and get your shinebox!” in there? You bet your ass it is . . . and much, much more! Take notes, fellas, because I am pulling no punches.

  This chapter is about Goodfellas not Goodbye Girl, Bonnie & Clyde not Thelma & Louise, Pale Rider not Whale Rider, Rocky not Roxanne, and Bull Durham not Beaches. Are you starting to catch my DVD drift? Good! Hey, a man’s man cannot live on Halle Berry alone! He has a big appetite for film, so here’s the winning recipe: You sprinkle a little Clint Eastwood with a splash of Steve McQueen and a dash of Burt Reynolds, and you got yourself a feast of man’s man films for the ages. This is a list of man’s man movies you can’t refuse.

  Gangster Flicks

  Playing music with my group Frank Vincent and the Arist- O-Cats around the New York-New Jersey area exposed me to many up-and-coming wiseguys as well as “made” men. They drove the nicest cars, had the best-looking women, and wore expensive jewelry (pinky rings, watches, etc.). In warm weather, they wore white short-sleeve shirts with slits in the sleeves and embroidered initials. As a young musician, I didn’t have much money and was impressed by the glamorous lifestyle these mob guys lived. Their attitude was another important trait that I closely examined, which has given me the ability to capture their style on film, even to this day.

  I guess my reputation precedes me as far as being an authority on gangster flicks. On-screen, I’ve been put in a trunk, put others in a trunk, been buried, buried other people, shot others, and been shot myself—all that kind of fun stuff. I don’t think you’ll see me playing opposite the Olsen twins anytime soon! The first gangster movie I ever appeared in was a little independent film called Death Collector, in which I played a Jewish businessman who got shot on the toilet. The first movie of note I appeared in was Raging Bull, where I played the part of Salvy, a local gangster. I’ve also had the good fortune of appearing in over forty mob movies, such as The Pope of Greenwich Village, Wise Guys, Goodfellas, Gotti, and too many more to mention! My point is, if anybody is qualified to talk about gangster movies, it’s yours truly.

  Of all the countless roles I’ve had in film and TV, most fans remember me as the infamous Billy Batts from Martin Scorsese’s gangster classic Goodfellas. When I first got the script, Scorsese told me to read it and let him know who I would like to play. When I went to see him and his producer Barbara De Fina, I told them that I was interested in playing the part of Paul Cicero (eventually played by Paul Sorvino). Marty said very confidently, “No, who you should play is Billy Batts.” I said, “If you think that’s what I should do, Marty, I’ll do it.” Let me teach you the first rule of Film 101: You don’t argue with Martin Scorsese! Well, I guess the rest is history. That part in Goodfellas is probably the most recognizable three minutes I’ve ever had on-screen. One of the many amazing talents Scorsese has is an extremely keen eye for casting. Another thing he does is bring “real-life guys” on set as advisors. This is very helpful for actors. For instance, I played the part of Frankie Marino in Scorsese’s Las Vegas gangster epic Casino. Scorsese had the real-life guy who my character was based on as one of the advisors. This guy allegedly had more notches on his gun than Al Capone. He was in the witness protection program, b
ut eventually left and was now living and breathing on our set! I spent a lot of time with him looking over my shoulder, but he actually helped me in the final creation of the character I was playing. One day, after we wrapped a day’s work, he offered me a ride back to my hotel. We walked over to his car and he actually paused to look underneath the hood and the bottom of the car. Then he said, “All right, let’s go, Frank.” Let’s just say I made an excuse and took the bus instead.

  Things have come full circle for me in my gangster movie career. When Turner Classic Movies was doing their monthlong retrospective called Gangsters Inc. Film Festival, they called upon yours truly to be the host of the series. In different segments, I portrayed a mobster being grilled by two detectives in a precinct. In this creative way, I offered my perspective on the gangster film genre, comparing similarities and differences between the mobsters of the ’30s, ’40s, and today. I discussed films like Public Enemy, Little Caesar, Petrified Forest, High Sierra, and Asphalt Jungle, as well as sixty other crime films. The series was a big hit.

  Now, I know you want to know what the best man’s man gangster movies of all time are. Look no further. My personal favorites:1. The Godfather Part II (1974. Dir. Francis Ford Coppola. Cast: Al Pacino, Robert Duvall, Diane Keaton, Robert De Niro, John Cazale, Talia Shire.) This truly stands as one of the greatest cinematic feats of Americana. I love how this film interweaves two time periods and shows two men’s men, Vito (De Niro) and Michael (Pacino). Even though the film lasts over three hours, it’s worth every second. Many critics call this film the greatest sequel in film history. I think The Godfather is amazing, but I believe The Godfather Part II is the best installment of the series.Most Memorable Man’s Man Line: “Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.”—Michael Corleone (Al Pacino)

  2. The Godfather (1972. Dir. Francis Ford Coppola. Cast: Marlon Brando, Al Pacino, James Caan, Richard S. Castellano, Robert Duvall.) This legendary story of a fictional mafia family in late 1940s New York captured the imaginations of audiences across the globe. I love the way this film mixes mob conflict with Italian-American family rituals and emotions. Aside from Brando’s overwhelming presence in the title role as Don Corleone, Pacino’s performance as Michael Corleone is first class. An all-star cast of top talents like Diane Keaton, James Caan, Robert Duvall, and Talia Shire makes this a mob movie for the ages. Bottom line, this is a man’s man movie you can’t refuse! Most Memorable Man’s Man Line: “Do you spend time with your family? Good. Because a man who doesn’t spend time with his family can never be a real man.”—Don Corleone (Marlon Brando)

  3. Goodfellas (1990. Dir. Martin Scorsese. Cast: Ray Liotta, Robert De Niro, Joe Pesci, Lorraine Bracco, Paul Sorvino.) Based on the Nicholas Pileggi nonfiction book Wiseguy, this film directed by man’s man filmmaker Martin Scorsese is a movie you can watch over and over again. From the murders to the hijacks to the extortion to the drug dealing, this film is a true action-packed ride into the world of organized crime. Flawless performances by Liotta (the young hood Henry Hill) and De Niro (the cool killer Jimmy Conway) are pivotal. But who could forget Joe Pesci’s unforgettable Oscar-winning role as Tommy De Vito? I know my character Billy Batts will never forget him!Most Memorable Man’s Man Line: “Go home and get your fucking shinebox!”—Billy Batts (yours truly)

  4. On the Waterfront (1954. Dir. Elia Kazan. Cast: Marlon Brando, Karl Malden, Lee J. Cobb, Rod Steiger.) The realistic atmosphere of the Hoboken, New Jersey, docks in the New York Harbor set the stage for an ex-prize fighter turned longshoreman, Malloy (Brando), who attempts to stand up to his corrupt union bosses. The performances under the direction of Kazan are flawless. Every movie studio passed on this monumental script, but Columbia took a man’s man stance and moved ahead to produce it with Sam Spiegel.Most Memorable Man’s Man Line: “I coulda had class, Charlie. I coulda been a contender.”—Terry Malloy (Marlon Brando)

  5. Scarface (1983. Dir. Brian De Palma. Cast: Al Pacino, Michelle Pfeiffer, Steven Bauer, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio, Robert Loggia.) Brian De Palma made a classic when he updated the original 1932 gangster film bearing the same name and starring Paul Muni. Pacino brilliantly plays Tony Montana, an overachieving, ultra-aggressive Cuban drug dealer with hopes of ruling the world. But success goes to his head, and so does a mountain of cocaine. His empire crumbles when he gets “high on his own supply.” Could you believe that this film was panned by almost every reviewer when it came out in 1983? Today, those same reviewers consider it a benchmark film.Most Memorable Man’s Man Line: “In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.” —Tony Montana (Al Pacino)

  6. White Heat (1949. Dir. Raoul Walsh. Cast: James Cagney, Virginia Mayo, Edmond O’Brien, Margaret Wycherly.) James Cagney’s portrayal of the psychotic killer Cody Jarrett set the pace for a new era of man’s man gangster films by emphasizing the psychological aspects of his character. The gangster with a mother fixation breaks out of prison and leads his old gang in a payroll heist, not realizing that his newest henchman is an undercover detective and that another cohort is trying to have him bumped off. Cagney personally devised the scene where he sits on his mother’s lap for consultation. Hey, even tough guys have a soft side.Most Memorable Man’s Man Line: “Made it, Ma! Top of the world!”—Cody Jarrett (James Cagney)

  7. The Untouchables (1987. Dir. Brian De Palma. Cast: Kevin Costner, Robert De Niro, Andy Garcia, Sean Connery.) It was a real challenge to bring the key elements of the hit TV series to the big screen, but director Brian De Palma did it! Of course, he had a little help in telling this 1920s Chicago gangland story from actors Robert De Niro (who won a Best Supporting Oscar for his role as Al Capone), Kevin Costner (as federal agent Eliot Ness) and Sean Connery (as Ness’s mentor, Jim Malone). Check out the train station/ baby carriage scene—it’s the best!Most Memorable Man’s Man Line: “He pulls a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue. That’s the Chicago way. And that’s how you get Capone.” —Jim Malone (Sean Connery)

  8. Key Largo (1948. Dir. John Huston. Cast: Humphrey Bogart, Edward G. Robinson, Lauren Bacall, Lionel Barrymore.) The teaming of the two most legendary mob movie stars of all time, Humphrey Bogart and Edward G. Robinson, makes for a one-of-a-kind man’s man filmgoing experience. Frank McCloud (Bogart), a World War II vet, travels to Key West to visit his dead wartime pal’s father (Lionel Barrymore) and widow (Lauren Bacall). McCloud doesn’t expect to encounter on-the-lam gangster Johnny Racco (Robinson), his moll (an Oscar-winning portrayal by Claire Trevor), and the rest of his hoods hiding out there. Another Bogart/Huston masterpiece!Most Memorable Man’s Man Line: “When your head says one thing and your whole life says another, your head always loses.” —Frank McCloud (Humphrey Bogart)

  9. A Bronx Tale (1993. Dir. Robert De Niro. Cast: Robert De Niro, Chazz Palminteri, Lillo Brancato, Francis Capra.) This film was based on the one-man show by Chazz Palminteri. The movie illustrates an important man’s man principle—never rat. Nine-year-old Italian-American boy Calogero (Francis Capra) witnesses Sonny (Chazz Palminteri) shoot and kill a man, but the young boy does not tell the cops. Sonny befriends him, which eventually causes tension between Calogero (later played by Lillo Brancato) and his father Lorenzo (Robert De Niro). Robert De Niro’s directorial debut, Chazz Palminteri’s screenwriting debut—enough said!Most Memorable Man’s Man Line: “Now yous can’t leave.”—Sonny (Chazz Palminteri)

  10. Carlito’s Way (1993. Dir. Brian De Palma. Cast: Al Pacino, Sean Penn, Penelope Ann Miller, John Leguizamo, Viggo Mortensen.) The film starts with reputed Puerto Rican drug dealer and assassin Carlito Brigante’s (Pacino) release from prison with the help of his trusted lawyer David Kleinfeld (Penn). But the New York world Carlito once knew and the friends he thought he had have all changed for the worse. Eventually, his lawyer betrays him, his friend Pachanga (Luis Guzman) betrays him, and the “street” betrays him. This
fantastic man’s man classic is based on the novels After Hours and Carlito’s Way by Judge Edwin Torres. There’s a good lesson to be learned in this film—a man’s man should never ignore his instincts.Most Memorable Man’s Man Line: “If I ever, I mean if I ever, see you here again, you die just like that.”—Carlito Brigante (Al Pacino)

  Western Flicks

  As I mentioned earlier, when I was growing up we didn’t have DVDs,TiVo, video games, etc., so, I spent my Saturdays at the movies. I would have to babysit my brothers, so I would take them with me to the theater. I mainly went to the Cameo Theatre on Danforth and Ocean Avenue in Jersey City, New Jersey. If I had some extra bucks, we would go to the bigger theaters like the Loews, the State or the Stanley Theater on Journal Square. They would play cartoons like Bugs Bunny, Heckle & Jeckle and Porky Pig, serials like Flash Gordon, newsreels, and two features—one was always a Western. On any given weekend afternoon, the place was packed with kids, some of whom brought their own cap guns and shot them at the screen to help the cowboy heroes win over the bad guys. If you did that today in a movie theater in Jersey City, the other moviegoers would shoot back at you with real guns!