A Guy's Guide to Being a Man's Man

by Frank Vincent

  Man’s Man Interview with James Caan

  New York City native James Caan, who studied acting at the prestigious Neighborhood Playhouse, has been electrifying movie and television screens with his man’s man persona for decades. He played the unforgettable part of Sonny Corleone in Francis Ford Coppola’s epic mafia movie The Godfather. Caan’s diversity as an actor is astounding. For instance, he played a cowboy in films like Comes A Horseman (1978) and Another Man, Another Chance (1977), a compulsive gambler in the film The Gambler (1974), a tough guy in the film Thief (1981), and even a best-selling author in the hit movie Misery (1990), where he starred opposite Kathy Bates. Caan has appeared opposite some of the most dynamic female co-stars in the business, including Barbra Streisand (Funny Lady), Halle Berry (The Program), and Charlize Theron (The Yards), just to name a few. Caan is also no stranger to Las Vegas—in fact, he has been going to the desert hotspot for business and pleasure for many, many years. He appeared in the hit comedy film Honeymoon in Vegas (shot on location in Vegas) and, most recently, he’s starring in the hit television drama series aptly entitled Las Vegas. James Caan is a man’s man who has seen all the ins and outs of Sin City. So, listen up . . .

  Frank Vincent: Do you remember the first time you went to Las Vegas?

  James Caan: I was in my early to mid twenties. I started riding horses, and one of my friends was one of the small owners of Caesar’s. This was way before Caesar’s went corporate. So, I went out there to ride horses and act like a cowboy from New York. I was a brash little wiseguy kid and had all my “New York stuff” in me. I spent most of my time in those days at Caesar’s and the Sands. I became friendly with a lot of the guys out there.

  FV: Coming from New York, how did you feel about the desert?

  JC: I hate the desert. Who wants to take a cactus out of your ass (laughing).

  FV: (Laughing) I hear you. What about the excitement of Las Vegas?

  JC: Seriously, at that age there was always something exciting to do in Las Vegas, especially when you knew some of the upper echelon hotel owners. Also, as a young kid, the girls were phenomenal. But, it was far removed from the way it is today. Today, it is all corporate. Back then, if you were a friend, you got the pencil (comped), which was the biggest gift in the world if you were a young guy. I used to hang out with and watch comedians like Don Adams, Shecky Greene, and Don Rickles perform.

  FV: Who are some of the other entertainers you’ve seen perform in Vegas?

  JC: There was Frank Sinatra, of course. We had some mutual friends. I went to his house and got to know him fairly well. Sinatra had seen a picture I did in 1969 called The Rain People and he wanted to talk about that. So, I spent a whole night with him. As far as other entertainers, I loved watching Louis Prima. Also, for pure entertainment, I loved watching Steve Lawrence and Edie Gorme. They always offered great music and a lot of laughs. They were classic Vegas entertainment at its best. Shecky Greene was hilarious. If you went to see him every night, you always saw a different show. You never saw the same show twice.

  FV: Shecky was pure thunder. What about Dean Martin?

  JC: Oh, Dean was one of my best friends for years. He was a great performer. He was also a cowboy, and one of my biggest influences. I used to practice out at his ranch all the time. Then, I joined the PRCA (Professional Rodeo Cowboy Association).

  FV: One of my biggest dreams is to play a cowboy in a movie. I tell my wife that every day because Dean was one of my heroes.

  JC: Yes, Dean was a pretty good cowboy. Rodeo was a big sport and we all used to hang out at Dean’s ranch. As a matter a fact, I got married to my son Scott’s mother at Dean’s ranch and the ceremony was on horse-back. At the time, Kirk Kerkorian gave me his suite at the MGM as a wedding gift. My earliest memories of Las Vegas are all of fun times. Of course, I didn’t have any money back then. I once owed $12,000 and, at the time, I thought that was four years’ work (laughing)!

  FV: (Laughing) You starred in the 1974 movie The Gambler. Have you always been intrigued by gambling?

  JC: My father played a lot of gin rummy and had a system with the horses, which was hysterical. He and his cousin, who was a stockbroker, had files and files for this system in order to follow the horses. So, I was around gambling from an early age. I remember that they were playing gin games in the back of the local barbershop, with a curtain drawn to cover the action.

  FV: In my old neighborhood, the gambling took place in a taxicab office.

  JC: Well, our spot was the local barbershop. It was hysterical because they had this little curtain that barely covered the opening to the back room and there were six guys behind it playing three across. The barbershop owner would keep screaming at them to be quiet and to keep it down. He would tell them every day that this was the last time they could ever play again because they were chasing his customers away. But, he never closed it. However, when I was young, my father once told me, “The only time you should gamble is when you’ve got nothing.”

  JAMES CAAN

  Favorite Man’s Man Game:

  Blackjack

  Favorite Man’s Man Drink

  to Have While Gambling:

  Vodka on the rocks

  Favorite Man’s Man

  Restaurant in Vegas:

  Prime (at the Bellagio)

  Favorite Man’s Man

  Golf Course:

  Shadow Creek

  Favorite Man’s Man

  Entertainer to Perform

  in Vegas:

  Frank Sinatra

  FV: Exactly right. That’s good.

  JC: I always remembered that piece of advice. Obviously, when you lost, what did you really lose? Because you still had nothing. When you’ve got money and you’re making money gambling, like $5,000 or $10,000, it’s not going to change your life. It’s only going to aggravate you if you lose. I believe that’s true, because I am a terrible loser at anything I play. I will gamble a little bit now, but I stopped really enjoying it. I don’t get thrilled by gambling now.

  FV: What do you like to play, if you are going to gamble?

  JC: I enjoy playing blackjack, because I have a system in a book (laughing).

  FV: (Laughing) Will you give me the book?

  JC: I’ll give you the whole book, Frank. (Laughing) Blackjack is all about money management, like any game. My mother, your mother, and anybody else who gambles in Las Vegas who is not a real gambler is how those places get built out there. Also, the people who think they are gamblers are full of crap. There are maybe one-tenth of 1 percent of people who are true gamblers. You’ve got to have ice water in your veins to be a genuine gambler. For example, my friends or my mother will go to Vegas and go with $2,000. They’ll say, “I’m going to go with $2,000 and if I lose it, so what? I am going to have a good time.” That’s what they all say! The money varies with each person. If they are losing $5,000, they’ll usually end up spending $20,000 to get even. You can hear them out loud at the tables saying, “Oh please, let me get even!” Right Frank?

  FV: Absolutely.

  JC: Now, if they are betting with $5,000 and winning, what do they say? They say, “I am going to go home with at least $2,500 in winnings.” How are they going to hurt the hotel with that attitude? Every person has this in common. Even if a person is winning $2,000, he or she is ready to settle for $1,000 in winnings in order to go home a winner. However, if someone wants to get even, they will spend $10,000 to get even. Now, the cold-blooded gambler does the exact opposite. When he’s winning, his thought process is that it ain’t his money. It’s the casino’s money. So, he bets it all. When he is losing, he cuts down. It sounds simple, but it is very hard to do.

  FV: You starred in many films shot in Sin City, including Honeymoon in Vegas in 1992. Coming full circle, you’re now the star of the hit TV show Las Vegas. Did you ever think you would be on a network television show shot there?

  JC: No, and I still don’t believe it. I had a lot of reasons for doing it. I have two young kids. With
all the movies being shot in Canada these days, my kids wouldn’t be able to visit me as much. I basically decided to do a network television show so I could stay home. The truth is that I get up before they go to school and I come home after they go to bed. So, we’ll see where that goes.

  FV: How has Vegas changed in your eyes over the years?

  JC: Well, it’s very corporate now. Traditionally, in the old days, friends of the bosses got breaks, comps, etc. Today, everything is according to how much time you spend at the table, how much time you spend there when you’re winning, how much time you spend at the table when you’re losing, your average bet, etc. There are all kinds of criteria that constitute you getting a comp. It has nothing to do with who you know, it has to do with your play, how you play, and how much time you play. That’s it! In my eyes, it has become very impersonal.

  FV: Computers took over.

  JC: Yes. They know every single thing. If they catch you in that “eye in the sky” just looking weird, you’re gone from the casino!

  FV: I know you love boxing, Jimmy. What are some of the most memorable fights you’ve seen live in Vegas?

  JC: There have been so many good fights over the years. My wife and I were there for the Mike Tyson vs. Evander Holyfield ear biting incident. Half of Brooklyn was there for the Vito Enterfurmo/Marvin Hagler fight, and it was the same night Benetez and Sugar Ray Leonard fought. I remember seeing Trinidad’s first fight there. I saw the final fight for Sylvester Stallone’s boxing TV show, The Contender. It was really great. I continue to go to good fights in Las Vegas.

  FV: What do you do during your downtime in Las Vegas?

  JC: I recently looked at my birth certificate and started playing golf.

  FV: (Laughing) You’ve worked in and traveled to many man’s man destinations all over the world. Does Vegas throw off something special for you when you step off the plane?

  JC: Yeah, heat!

  FV: (Laughing) We’ll end on that note, Jimmy. You’re a man’s man all the way.

  JC: Thanks. So are you, Frank.

  Looking Like a Man’s Man

  Everyone knows that women like men who have it all together, who look clean and sharp. Hey, not all of us resemble James Bond, but if you put yourself together properly, you can be as appealing as him. (Well, almost!) Life is about presentation. People go for the sizzle and then the steak ... know what I mean? What is a Christmas gift without the gift wrap and bow? What is that great Italian dish without the sauce and fresh basil? What is the martini without the olives? You get it now. With a line wrapped around the block at a “hot” club with a bunch of “ham and eggers” chomping at the bit to get in, you want to be the one noticed at the door wearing your sharp leather coat and your shined shoes, and walk in VIP style. You want to be the one at the gym who all the ladies are diggin’, even if your pecs aren’t perfect. You want to be the one at the family wedding in the best custom tux, looking even better than the groom. You might not have been the one chosen as the best man, but you might as well be the best-dressed man, right?

  In this chapter, I am also going to discuss the do’s and don’ts in the attire department. A man’s man also learns from mistakes. This past summer, I was in the supermarket and a fan passed me in one of the aisles and said, “Frank, I love your work.” I thanked him and we parted ways. About five minutes later, he passed me again and asked, “Are you shooting Sopranos right now?” I replied, “Yes.” He said, “Whatever you do, don’t wear those shorts on Sopranos with those skinny legs!” I had a good laugh and never wore those shorts again.

  One thing is for sure, women love a man who smells and looks good. The characters I have played during my career have always dressed well. For instance, Salvy from Raging Bull was in a pinstripe suit, a long collar, white-on-white shirt with initials on the cuff, and shoes so pointy they could kill cockroaches in the corner. Salvy was charming, impressive, and a true ladies’ man. It’s always fun to dress up for period piece movies—Raging Bull (’50s), Goodfellas (’60s), Casino (’70s), Gotti (’80s), etc.

  Bottom line, fellas, you can talk like a man’s man and walk like a man’s man, but without the right look, you’re not the complete package. Take some notes on the things you wouldn’t catch a man’s man dead wearing:■ Anything from a “buy one, get one free rack”

  ■ Anything made out of 100 percent polyester

  ■ Any item that’s been in your closet for more than two years

  ■ Any T-shirts with juvenile sayings like: MY GIRLFRIEND’S OUT OF TOWN

  ■ Anything ruffled

  ■ Anything your great-aunt gave you for Christmas

  ■ A piano tie

  ■ A Speedo

  Now, I’m going to make it easy on you by letting you know all the gear that a man’s man should have in his possession. That includes clothing, shoes, ties, accessories, grooming products, and even cars. Yeah, I said cars. When you pull up to your date’s place of residence and you are dressed to the nines, you need to have the car to go with the look. No Dodge Darts here, boys. Leave that heap at home and rent a car if you must. Or work your ass off, put in overtime, and get the right ride. Okay, buckle up, here we go!

  The Looks

  The Formal Look

  THE BREAKDOWN

  Right off the bat, I’ve got to state my claim: a true man doesn’t rent a tuxedo. There are exceptions to the rule: For instance, if you just landed in Florida for a wedding and the airline lost your luggage, then you’re renting, pal. But, as a rule, a man’s man should have at least one tuxedo, tailored to perfection, at his fingertips. Since he’s a “man about town,” he never knows when he’ll get a last-minute call for a first-class event. There have been times when at the last minute I’ve been invited to a Sopranos event and when I pulled my tuxedo out of the closet, it looked as clean and crisp as the day I bought it. So, you should be prepared at all times with your tuxedo and shirt ready to wear. What designers should you buy? A man’s man buys whatever he can afford. If you like and can afford a Giorgio Armani (approx. $1,850) tuxedo, then by all means go for it. Armani makes beautiful things. If that is out of your price range, you’re not any less of a man. A man’s man will find a nice tuxedo and get it fitted right. If it doesn’t fit properly, at the next party someone might ask you for shrimp puffs. That’s not what a man’s man wants to hear. One last thing: It’s not just about the look, it’s also about the attitude when you’re wearing it. Confidence!

  Foot Gear: Patent leather shoes are out. A man’s man knows that a quality pair of black leather shoes is a wise investment. You want to buy shoes that are comfortable. With supple, shiny-leather footwear, you’re sure to get noticed!

  Where to Wear It: If you get an invitation in the mail and it reads, BLACK TIE, then you’ve got to throw your tuxedo on. Also, if you’re nominated for an award (Oscar, Grammy, Emmy, Best Dog in Show) a tuxedo is the right thing to wear. However, if you wear a tux to an event that does not have BLACK TIE on the invite, someone might ask you to bring their car around front. Please use discretion and only wear a tuxedo when it’s called for—formal weddings, benefits, awards dinners, etc.

  Accents: Bow tie or regular tie, that is the question. A man’s man goes regular tie with a tuxedo. The bow tie is definitely out of date. I can’t stress it enough that you do not want to look like a headwaiter or a maître’d. If you watch awards shows, you’ll hardly ever see stars wearing bow ties. A handkerchief that matches the tie is always a nice addition.

  By the way, a man’s man does not actually use it to blow his nose. If it’s allergy season, bring some back-up tissues. A handkerchief is for accent use only. Cuff links are also a smart purchase because they can be worn with your regular suits as well. Remember, “people in the know” tend to look at that stuff. It could help you strike up a conversation at a wedding with one of the bride’s gorgeous cousins from out of town. Wedding + cousin from out of town = one wild night!

  The Workout Look

  THE BREAKDOWN

>   If you think the workout attire of a man’s man consists of some sweats and an armpit-stained T-shirt picked up in the parking lot of a Van Halen concert back in ’86, think again. A real man’s man wears quality athletic attire that’s stylish. For instance, Puma, New Balance, and Nike make great athletic apparel. Also, there’s a difference between athletic pants and sweatpants. Athletic pants are like the ones I’m wearing in the picture (stripe down the leg, made of nylon/cotton material), but sweatpants are something to be worn when you take out the garbage at six in the morning with a hangover. Also, a man’s man does not bring his own towel to the gym. He belongs to a first-rate heath club that supplies fresh towels for all of its clientele. After a man’s man pumps some iron on the bench, he wipes it down with his towel so the next guy ain’t working out in a pool of his sweat. That’s the proper protocol. A gym bag is important because a man’s man does not just walk into the health club like a slob holding newspapers, magazines, water bottles, and a change of clothes. He goes in there with his bag and a lock for his locker. Also, you should always wears white socks—not girlie tennis socks with pom poms or barefeet underneath your sneaks. Nothing is more offensive than a guy doing crunches next to you with stinky feet. No black dress socks, either. Also, no undershirts with pizza stains. A man’s man can be tastefully sleeveless, but he does not buy any tanks that are sold in a three-pack for $2. None of that cheap nonsense allowed! At a health club, you could meet business contacts, friends, and, most important, future dates. So, “never let them see you sweat” too much! P.S. Have your hairy back waxed, and no grunting like a farm animal when you’re lifting heavy weights.