“I… I just could never understand...” she started, “how someone like you, could want someone like me.”
He turned to face her. “You don’t see what I see,” he said. “Do you realize that I’ve never given myself so fully to anyone as I have to you? I live and breathe you. Every day and every night, you’re the center of my existence.”
“I am?” she asked as a tear flitted down her face.
“Oh God, Madi,” he said in pure frustration. “What do I have to do to make you see how much I love you?”
“I don’t know,” she said as she stood in front of him. Her hand briefly lifted as if she might touch him, but she pulled away. The pain from the possibility of her touch and then lack of it was just too much. His breath labored with her latest blow.
“But the pictures,” she said.
“Not real. Not really me. Never me. Never,” he said in a hush, his eyes frozen into hers. Deep blue to deep brown, like where the ocean meets the side of a cliff.
“Not you?” she asked, panting as if she were begging the words to be real.
“Not me,” he said as his foot touched hers.
“You wouldn’t?” she asked with hope.
“I couldn’t!” he said as he moved forward slightly and pressed his leg into hers.
“You promised me you’d never lie,” she said in a hush.
“And I haven’t. I kept my promise. Please tell me you believe me… believe in me? If you can’t trust your eyes, can you trust your heart?” he pleaded.
She closed her eyes and bent her head back as she attempted to breathe through her nose. He could see the roll of her throat as she swallowed. His eyes squeezed shut. Maybe he was dreaming. Maybe this was all just a bad dream. He unclenched his eyes to see her staring at him.
“No more lies. No more trying to protect me?”
He pursed his lips as he watched her. “I promised not to keep anything from you, and I kept that promise. But I can’t and won’t promise not to protect you.”
She took a deep breath and blinked at him several times, as if her eyes were flickering to adjust to a new filter, or a new way to see him.
“Okay,” she nodded.
“Okay what?” he asked with dread covered in a crispy coating of hope.
“I’ll trust you. I’ll believe in you. Because I always have believed in you, and I desperately want you to be who I think you are. I want it to be true.”
He leaned forward and pressed his head into hers. “Don’t want it to be true. Know it is.”
Madi paused as she rested her head against his. She took long, deep breaths and seemed to be thinking things through. “I do. I know it,” she whispered.
He sighed and swallowed hard, as if her words coated his throat.
“And know you have my love. You’ve had it since the first moment I met you.”
She sighed. “I do know.”
“Can I touch you?” he begged.
She nodded, and his hand immediately cupped her neck as his cheek crushed into her head. She held him back as they both molded their chests together. She gripped his shirt as he pressed his hand into her back, holding her firmly against him.
His head turned and he clenched his eyes closed as he kissed her hair, relishing in the smell of her and the feel of her in his arms.
“I don’t understand,” she whispered.
He pulled back slightly to glance into her eyes.
“Who would take the pictures of you and who would send them to me?” she questioned.
“Someone sent them to you?” he asked furiously.
She nodded.
“Show me.”
***
JAKE STARED AT the email address and the twenty plus emails sent to Madi’s computer. She could tell he didn’t want to open them. She knew he didn’t want her to see his picture again.
Something inside of her clicked with his words and his face. She knew him. His reaction was not the one of someone getting caught and trying to apologize; it was of a man who needed the girl he loved to have faith in him.
“It’s okay,” she said. “You can open it.”
He glanced up at her as his body twisted to face her, concern etched on his brows.
“I know them by heart,” she explained, pointing.
“I don’t want you to ever look at these again,” he stated through gritted teeth. “She’s obviously trying to break us up. I just don’t know why she’d go to such lengths,” he said.
“She wants you. It’s obvious. Sometimes people want the things they can’t have. Maybe she likes the challenge.”
He nodded as he watched her lips move. Madi knew he wanted to kiss her, but she wasn’t ready for that. Even though she believed him, it was hard for her to look at him without seeing his hands on her body. The thought made her cringe.
“You know I want to kiss you, don’t you?” he asked hesitantly, as if he’d read her mind.
“Yes, but please don’t try. I do believe you and I love you, but I just need to process everything and let it all sink in. It’s still too fresh in my mind. My heart still hurts.”
Jake nodded as he reached around her to bring her close, burying his face in her chest. She drew in a quick breath as his face pressed into her stomach. She put her hands into his hair and rested her head on top of his.
“I understand. I’m just thankful to be this close. I was scared.”
“I know,” she said, drawing him against her, that familiar tug to have more of him pulling at her heart.
“Do you?” he asked, glancing up to meet her eyes.
“I hoped it was all a mistake, but I’m still processing how this happened.”
Jake shook his head as he turned back to her laptop. “I don’t know, but I’m going to find out.” He lifted his phone from his pocket as it buzzed. “Do you have her?”
Madi’s eyes widened.
“Where are you? Okay, I’ll be there. Don’t let her out of your sight.” Jake ended the call and glanced up at her through the tops of his eyes.
“Who do they have?”Madi asked.
“Allison.”
Madi took a step back in disbelief. “She’s in Chicago? What the fuck, Jake? You’re going to see her?”
Jake rose up out of his seat, taking her arms in his hands. “I need to figure this out. I need to know why she did this. She said she’d only talk to me. Please understand. I’m not going to see her. I’m going to get some answers.”
Madi sighed. “Well, if you’re going, then so am I.”
“Are you sure?” he asked.
“I want to kill her,” Madi said as she felt the hate rise around her like a cloak.
Jake smiled and her heart melted. “You and me both.”
All four of them piled into her car, with Rob taking the wheel. Kendra sat in the front seat next to him, being a backseat driver. She criticized every turn he made and tried to explain why he should take I-88 to I-294 verses I-55. Rob ignored every word as well as her pointing fingers, frustrated sighs, and imaginary brakes.
“You’re a lousy driver,” she huffed. “And you don’t take directions well at all.”
“I can assure you, Ms. Parker, I’m an excellent driver.”
“Not from where I’m sitting.” Kendra turned and watched the exit go by. “I told you to turn there. When’s the last time you drove in the city? Hell, when’s the last time you drove at all?”
“I’ve driven all types of vehicles, Ms. Parker. Humvees, tanks, jeeps and buses. I’ve jumped out of planes and stormed buildings with my tactical unit. I’m pretty sure I’m capable of maneuvering a Toyota into the city.”
Kendra studied him for a moment. “Brag much?” she asked, unimpressed.
Rob shook his head and sighed heavily.
Madi felt Jake’s eyes on her as they sat in the backseat. He’d been staring at her since they walked out of her room and into the hall. Kendra had insisted that there was no way in hell she wasn’t coming along, and I’m pretty sure even Ro
b was too smart to argue.
His right hand rested on his lap, but slowly slid into the seat between them. Madi wondered if he wanted to touch her. She longed for the security his hand provided. The simple gesture of holding his hand suddenly seemed foreign. This situation had taken them back months in her comfort level. He seemed unreachable and untouchable once again.
The back of Jake’s hand skimmed up against her thigh and her breath hitched. He’d always had that effect on her. The energy between them burned like a constant flame. She pressed her left hand into her leg. Jake observed her movement and almost seemed to moan. His other hand moved to his lips as he pinched them together and glanced out the window. His head turned slightly as he placed his hand on top of hers. She spread her fingers to intertwine them with his. She watched him out of the corner of her eye and saw a slow smile cross his lips. She stared down at their hands and couldn’t help but smile too. Twenty-four hours earlier, she’d thought her life was over. Now it was sitting next to her.
WHEN THEY ARRIVED at the hotel near O’Hare, Jake refused to let go of Madi’s hand. He pulled her out his side of the door as they arrived at the back entrance. His security had arranged for them to enter through the back, in order to not draw attention. They took the service elevator to the twelfth floor. The apprehension in the elevator was palpable. Even Kendra was quiet.
Greg was waiting outside room 1255 and nodded his head to Madi as if to say hello without words.
“Is she in there?” Rob asked.
“Yep. She’s a handful too. She’s been rude to the staff and has told me more times than she can count that she feels like she’s being held prisoner. Jake tightened his grip on Madi’s hand. He turned to her, asking, “Are you ready?”
As Madi nodded, she saw Rob take a step forward. “Jake, I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he whispered.
“I want her to hear the truth,” Jake responded in protest.
“If Madi goes in there, Allison might feel defensive, maybe even threatened. I think there’s a greater chance of her telling the truth if she believes you two are over. I’m sorry to say it, Madi, but you can’t go in.”
Jake stared at her. She seemed to be deep in thought, but as usual, Jake had no idea what she was thinking. He opened his mouth to speak, but he didn’t know what to say that would keep her from running. She lifted their intertwined fingers, as if to study them for a moment. She dropped her hand from his and a small pain shot through his chest. As he once again tried to speak, Madi opened her purse and handed him a pen.
Jake scanned her hand before staring up into her eyes. She turned toward Rob. “Can I listen?”
Rob immediately removed his earpiece and handed it to Madi. Jake smiled as he tucked the pen into his shirt pocket, tapping it in place over his heart.
“I love you,” he said, gazing deeply into her eyes.
“Get the bitch to confess,” Madi responded, and the corner of his mouth curled into a smile.
Rob ushered them away from the door. Jake took one last glance at Madi’s face before taking a calming breath. Greg handed him a key card and he slid it into the door, turning the handle.
It made him feel better to know Madi was listening. He hoped he could get Allison to tell him what had really happened. During the drive, he’d wondered what angles he should use when he approached her. He’d considered angry, hurt, confused and regretful. He decided that he’d gauge her reaction to him and go from there.
As he entered the room, she jumped from the bed and turned to face him. The door slammed shut behind him. It was just the two of them.
“Jake,” she acknowledged as he flipped the card in his hands.
“Is there something you want to tell me?” he asked.
“What do you mean?” she questioned. “Do you expect me to tell you I love you? Because I don’t.”
“I don’t want your fucking love,” he said. “I want the truth!” Angry Jake it was.
“The truth is I came to Australia to see you. You called and asked me to come over and we had sex.”
Jake took an enraged step forward. “That’s not what happened, and you and I both know it. He turned to leave as he said, “I didn’t come all the way here so you could spit out more of your lies.” As he reached for the door, she yelled out.
“Jake, wait!”
His head dropped back as he turned to face her. “What?”
She fiddled with her shirtsleeve and reached for a cigarette on the table. “Do you have a light?” she asked.
“I don’t smoke,” he said in an irritated voice.
She removed the cigarette from her lips, stared at it for a moment, and tossed it onto the table before moving toward the window.
Jake closed his eyes briefly and took a deep breath, attempting to summon a small level of patience.
“Chicago is so different from L.A., isn’t it?” she asked, glancing back at him briefly before playing with the curtain on the window. “L.A. is so big it’s almost impossible to run into someone unintentionally, you know?”
Jake sighed as he furrowed his brows. He wasn’t interested in small talk.
“But fate just seems to have a way of tying lives together, like ours for example,” she said as she pointed back and forth between them. “And karma…” She laughed with a shake of her head as she walked back toward the table. “Karma just insists you pay one way or another. Why did you have to be the one I was linked with? Why you?”
“Allie…” Jake began as his eyes rose up toward the ceiling.
She interrupted him. “I really thought you and I might be good together,” she said as a small smile crossed her lips. She arched slightly as she spoke, enough to see that Jake did not share her amusement. “As soon as people thought we were dating, I suddenly became more interesting. I was getting crap offers from movie producers before you. Even my agent thought you made me more appealing.”
She puckered her lips before pulling them in and sliding onto the corner of the bed. She motioned for him to join her and he huffed, shaking his head and crossing his arms. “I’m not going to attack you. You can sit next to me. We have been naked together, after all.”
Jake’s hand coursed through his hair as he gritted his teeth. He could feel the frustration in his own voice. “I wasn’t a willing participant. Some might call that rape.”
She jumped up from her corner and pounded over to him. “I didn’t rape you!” she shouted with her hands on her hips.
“What would you call it, then, Allison? I was unconscious. You removed my clothes and slept with me against my will. You fucking drugged me.”
“I didn’t drug you!” she shouted.
Jake rolled his eyes. “How’d you do it, Allie? Were you at the interview? Did you put something in my food?”
“I said I didn’t drug you.”
“Well, someone drugged me. It had to be you. You’re the only one with something to gain out of this!”
“Do you think I enjoyed it? Do you think I like having to make love to a lifeless body?”
“So you admit it! I was lifeless.”
“Stop. Just stop. That’s not what I meant.”
“But it’s what you said. Cut the crap, Allie. What the fuck was so important that you had to speak to me and me alone?”
“I wanted to say I’m sorry,” she cried.
“Sorry for what? For drugging me? For ruining my life? For making Madi hate me.”
She lifted her eyes to him. “She hates you?”
“Yeah, she hates me. She thinks I cheated on her. She saw the pictures.”
Allison walked back over to her cigarettes and took out another before once again realizing she had no way of lighting it. “I’m sorry, okay. I know you loved her, but that was part of the plan.”
“The plan?” Jake questioned.
Her eyes bulged as she put the cigarette to her lips, suddenly aware she’d said too much.
Jake lunged toward her. “Allie, please, we were friends. How could yo
u do this to me? How could you ruin my life and not even have the decency to tell me why?”
“I didn’t want to ruin your life. I didn’t have a choice, okay?”
“What do you mean, you didn’t have a choice?”
“I’m being blackmailed,” she said as she squinted her eyes painfully.
“By who?”
“I… can’t say, alright? I’ve already said too much.”
“I need to know what happened. Just, please, tell me the truth.” Jake begged, pulling on her elbow.
Allison glanced down at his touch, then back up to his eyes. “Is there any chance you could love someone like me?”
“Allie… you’re a beautiful, talented woman. But my heart will always belong to Madi.”
Allison nodded as she took a deep breath.
“If I tell you what happened, you have to swear to me that you will never, ever press any kind of charges against me. I’m a victim too.”
Jake considered her words, taking note of the genuine fear in her eyes. “Fine. Just tell me.”
Allison leaned on the windowsill. “I got a call from… this person…”
“Who? Who called you?”
“If I tell you, he’ll come after me. He’s been calling me nonstop. If he finds out I’m here, that I saw you...”
“No one knows you’re here except a few people that I trust with my life.”
“That’s just it, Jake. These people you think you know? You think you can trust? You can’t trust any of them. You can’t trust strangers and you can’t trust friends. You can’t trust fans and you can’t trust enemies. Not in our line of work. Everyone always wants a piece of you. Everyone always wants what they think you have. You need to be careful, okay? Trust no one.”
Jake could tell she was scared. He could tell she was serious and maybe even honest. Was someone he trusted or someone he knew responsible for this? “Does this have anything to do with Peter Markum?”
“Who?” she questioned as if she hadn’t heard him.
Waiting to Lose Page 20
