Soul Matters

by Yolonda Tonette Sanders

  Pastor Jones grabbed Wendy’s hands and held them. “Before we go, I would like to have a word of prayer with you,” he said.

  Wendy nodded in agreement and Pastor Jones began what she thought was a rather lengthy prayer, but it was exactly what she needed right now. “Thank you, Pastor,” Wendy said when he had finished. She was deeply appreciative to him for taking the time out of his day to address her needs.

  “You’re welcome, sweetheart. Please remember to seek God for answers in every area of your life—including your marriage.”

  “Okay,” Wendy agreed, although she already had her mind made up. Maybe there is hope for my baby and me after all, she thought. As for Kevin, he was still out of the picture as far as she was concerned. God apparently wanted her to have this child, at least. To make sure she would, He had sent a little divine intervention her way.

  Chapter Eight

  The Pot and the Kettle

  YOU HAVE TWO UNHEARD MESSAGES,” the recording on Wendy’s voice mail announced.

  “First message, sent today at 2:29 P.M.: ‘Hey, Wendy, I was calling to see how your visit was with Mama and how you’re feeling. Give me a call when you get a chance. My last appointment is at three-thirty today. Once I finish, I plan to be home all evening. I hope everything goes well with Kevin tonight. And please try not to get upset, no matter what he says. Your health and pregnancy are more important. He’s definitely not worth losing the baby over, so try to stay calm. Okay? Call me if you need anything. I’ll give you a call tomorrow if I don’t hear from you tonight. All right then. I’ll talk to you later. Love ya!’ ”

  As Wendy listened to her sister’s message, she made a mental note to get Terrance’s parents’ telephone number so she could call and thank Evelyn for the Christmas presents that were left at Marlene’s house. Wendy also couldn’t help but be consumed with guilt since Kim still thought that she was in jeopardy of having a miscarriage. Only a few days into the New Year and instead of feeling better about herself, Wendy felt worse. I gotta find some way to get out of this, she thought, referring to the lie she’d told. She and Kim had gone out for New Year’s Eve after all. The entire night, Kim had kept a close eye on Wendy. She’d even rented a wheelchair so Wendy wouldn’t have to be on her feet. As if lying to Kim wasn’t enough, she’d dug herself deeper into the pit of dishonesty with the rest of her family today.

  Wendy had spent the entire afternoon visiting with her parents and grandmother. She also got to see Tori and Tyler, who were at her parents’ house, for the first time since supposedly leaving for Philadelphia. Wendy would have enjoyed being with them much more if she hadn’t pretended that she’d had such a wonderful time on her trip with Kevin. She even put her wedding ring back on so that she wouldn’t arouse suspicion. She snatched it off her finger the minute she pulled out of her parents’ driveway.

  The visit with her family was strange. Marlene and Michael didn’t seem like themselves. Although they were glad to see Wendy, they weren’t overly ecstatic like she’d thought they would be. Rather, they seemed somewhat nonchalant while she jabbered. They didn’t ask her a single question about her trip. Wendy got the mild impression that they didn’t care, but she knew that wasn’t true. Maybe Frances had gotten on their nerves, which was not unlikely. They had made a lot of adjustments since she’d moved in. Still, there was something different about them, and Wendy couldn’t quite put her finger on what it was. Then again, the awkwardness she felt could have been guilt resulting from the lies she’d told about her visit to Philadelphia.

  “Next message,” the voice mail continued, “sent today at 3:43 P.M.: ‘Wendy, this is Kevin. . . . I tried contacting you when I got back in town on Wednesday, but I never heard back from you. I hope we are still on for tonight. I should be there no later than six-thirty. Call me if anything changes. I look forward to seeing you soon. Oh—and Wendy, I love you.’ ”

  Yeah, whatever! She was totally untouched by Kevin’s last statement. Love doesn’t give chlamydia!

  It was about 4:30 P.M. and she had some time before Kevin would arrive. She’d decided to relax by taking a bath. She had a hard day mentally and needed to clear her mind in order to regain focus before he came.

  It would be the first time she and Kevin would see each other since he left the house. At this time last week, she had been planning on having an abortion. Thanks to Pastor Jones, she no longer considered abortion an option.

  As Wendy lay in her spa bathtub, she closed her eyes and listened to the soothing sound of ocean waves playing through the in-wall speakers. The porcelain tub was black and came with a heat-maintenance feature that sustained the temperature of the water so it didn’t get cold. The entire bathroom was decorated in cranberry and black to match the furnishings in the master bedroom. Wendy laid her head back as the bubbles smothered her body up to her neck. She tried to organize the things she wanted to discuss with Kevin. We definitely have to talk about the house. Originally, Wendy had been willing to give up the house, but that was when she was planning to terminate her pregnancy. Now I have a little bargaining power, she thought. She had been packed and ready to walk out on Kevin the day of their big blowout. However, he refused to allow the mother of his child to be without a home. He’d done the chivalrous thing and left himself. The disparity was that Kevin thought the separation was temporary while Wendy knew it was permanent. If only I can get him to pay enough child support and alimony, she told herself. That would be the only way she could afford the house without him living there.

  Wendy dozed off while in the tub and was awakened by Kevin’s voice whispering in her ear: “Wake up, Sleeping Beauty.” She was so startled that she splashed water all over his Armani suit. “Please get out until I’m finished!” she demanded.

  “Sor-ry,” Kevin said, backing away from the tub. He grabbed a towel to wipe his face and suit. “I’ll be in the living room.” He threw the towel on his side of the bathroom and walked out.

  Great! The night was off to a bad start already. She hadn’t meant to react that way; Kevin had frightened her. He shouldn’t have come in here like that anyway, considering our situation. He could have knocked on the bathroom door and that would have been fine.

  Wendy quickly dried herself off and slipped on a pair of navy sweats and a T-shirt. She put her hair up in a clip and then walked to the living room, where Kevin was waiting. “Look, I didn’t mean to yell at you, but you should have knocked on the door,” she confessed in a cold but apologetic way.

  “I would have if the door had been closed.”

  “Oh.” Wendy had been so frustrated by Kevin’s entrance that she’d completely forgotten about leaving the door open. Still, she didn’t like him coming in there.

  There was an awkward silence while Kevin sat on the couch and Wendy stood looking at him with her arms folded. “Well, what did you want to talk to me about?” she inquired.

  “Sit down.” Kevin patted the empty space next to him. “I have something to tell you.”

  There was something about sitting on the couch with him that made Wendy feel uncomfortable. “Can we go in the kitchen? I don’t want to talk in here.”

  “Fine.” He got up and walked toward the kitchen.

  As she stepped onto her ceramic-tiled kitchen floor, Wendy realized that she should have moved the conversation into the dining room instead. There was a small round kitchen table located next to the bay window. The window overlooked the gazebo in the backyard, where the newlyweds had once spent many nice summer evenings enjoying each other’s company. The kitchen table had been used numerous times for candlelight dinners. It was a romantic spot, not the tone Wendy wanted to set for the evening.

  Kevin noticed Wendy’s hesitation to sit down. “Just have a seat. Is all of this really necessary?”

  “Is all of what necessary?” She slumped into the chair.

  “Us. The way we’re acting. What’s up with all the formality?”

  “Yes, Kevin. Considering our circumstances, I think it
is necessary.”

  He sighed. “I know you’re still upset with me, but will you give me a second to explain?”

  “Explain what? How can you possibly explain what happened?”

  “I know that I didn’t have an answer for you the last time we talked, but I do now. I promise if you’ll just hear me out, it’ll all make sense.”

  “Honestly, I don’t feel like getting into any heavy discussions about your infidelity. I think we just need to figure out where our relationship goes from here. Most importantly, what do we do until the baby comes?”

  “Dang it, Wendy!” Kevin said angrily, and banged his fist on the table. “Why do you have to be so stubborn? You won’t return my phone calls. You won’t give me a chance to explain. Will you just listen for one single minute? All I’m trying to do is get my wife back.”

  “Please don’t go there,” Wendy said, trying not to get upset. He’s got some nerve getting mad at me when he’s the one who destroyed our marriage!

  “Why not? I listened to you say how much you hated me, how I destroyed your life, and how much of a dog I am. It’s okay for me to hear all of that, right? But you can’t listen to anything that I have to say.”

  Wendy began to let her irritation show. “There is absolutely nothing you can say that will erase what you have done. You say that you love me, but if you really loved me, you wouldn’t have betrayed me.”

  “That’s just it! I haven’t done any—”

  “Whatever!” Wendy interrupted him by raising her voice. “You haven’t done anything. Yeah, right! Then how did I end up with an STD? I may have been a virgin when we first met, but I’m not stupid. I didn’t catch it from a public toilet. Why do you keep lying? Just fess up.”

  “There you go again, believing only what Wendy wants to believe. I came over here hoping that you would listen to me and we would work things out. As always, Wendy has to have it her way.” Kevin pulled an envelope from inside his suit jacket and threw it on the table. “Maybe if you won’t listen to me, you’ll at least read this.”

  “What is it?” She picked up the envelope.

  “It’s everything that I wanted to say tonight. Funny thing is, I wrote it because I had a feeling that you were gonna act like this. So instead of wasting any more of your precious time, I’m leaving. Read it and call me later.” Kevin got up from the table.

  “Wait. You can’t leave yet.”

  “Why?”

  “We still have some things to discuss.”

  “Like what?”

  “Like what we are going to do until the baby comes.”

  “If you would just hear me out or at least read the letter, I think that would solve everything.”

  “I’m sorry, but nothing you say or I read will change my mind. Our relationship is over.”

  “Fine, Wendy. Then what else do you want from me?”

  “Please sit back down.”

  Kevin reluctantly sat back in his chair. He had his elbows on the table, and he put his head in his palms. He felt hopeless. He wished he had listened more closely to how she felt about him staying out late. Maybe then she would be more likely to believe him.

  “How should we handle things until the baby comes?” Wendy asked softly.

  “You tell me. You’re the one calling all the shots.” He removed his hands from his face.

  “Seriously, we need to make some kind of arrangements. We have the house—”

  “Oh, so that’s what this is about—the house.” Kevin smirked.

  “No . . . not really.”

  “Now who’s lying?” he said sarcastically. “Miss Holy Ghost herself can’t even tell the truth. Yet she calls me a liar. If that ain’t the pot calling the kettle black.”

  Wendy glared at him.

  “It’s true, isn’t it?” he continued. “Did you not make up a story about going to Philadelphia? I’m anxious to hear how you explained that one, ’cuz Kim was mad when I spoke with her.”

  “Forget you, Kevin.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry. That must be a sore topic.”

  “You can go ahead and leave. Forget I ever said anything,” Wendy declared. How dare he throw Philadelphia in my face.

  “Let me just make this easy so you don’t continue lying. I know you want to stay in the house. That’s fine with me. Like I told you before, I wouldn’t send you and my baby out on the street.”

  “Kevin—” Wendy wanted to say something, but he held his hand up to stop her.

  “Let me finish. You don’t have to worry about paying the mortgage; I’ll take care of that and the rest of the bills. I honestly believe that once you read that letter we will be able to work things out. If I’m wrong and you still think our marriage is over, then I’ll accept your decision and we can work out the details at a later date. Promise me that even if you don’t take me back you’ll wait until after the baby gets here before making any permanent arrangements.”

  “Okay,” Wendy agreed.

  “Well, I’m leaving right now while things have quieted down.” He got up from the chair, walked over to Wendy, and kissed her forehead. “No matter what you think, I love you.”

  Before Wendy could respond, Kevin walked out of the kitchen and she heard the front door close. She sat at the table and cried. God, why does it have to be like this? She recalled Pastor Jones’s suggestion that she not give up on her marriage and opened the letter Kevin had given her.

  Dear Wendy,

  If you’re reading this letter then it must be the last chance I have of making things right with you. I’m sorry for everything that happened. I swear to you that I didn’t cheat on you.

  That was all she read. Wendy crumpled up the letter and threw it across the kitchen. She intended to read it. However, the fact that he still denied being unfaithful infuriated her. How can he continue lying like this? Part of her wanted to know why he had cheated. She had searched her mind for the answers over and over. Did I not show him enough attention? She would never be able to find out his motive for going astray if he didn’t admit to doing it.

  Wendy got up from the table and picked the letter up off the floor. She tried to fold it back neatly. I just can’t deal with this right now, she thought to herself and headed toward the study. She placed the letter inside her desk, where she kept other junk she didn’t plan on getting to right away.

  She was now exhausted. Wendy went into the bedroom to change into her nightclothes and go to bed. In a couple of days school would resume, and she was determined not to take all of this baggage into the classroom with her. She wasn’t ready for anyone at work to know that she and Kevin had split up, especially Ms. Burchett. She knew someone would notice that her wedding ring was missing. I’ll just tell them that my fingers have swollen, she decided before turning out the light. When school resumed, she would announce her pregnancy. Her co-workers were bound to find out eventually.

  “Father God . . . uhh . . . Dear Heavenly Father . . . I—um—bless . . .” Wendy was on her knees trying to say her prayers, but she struggled with the words. She sighed. Her mind was so consumed with the events of the day that nothing would come out right. Frustrated, she abandoned the idea of praying, lay down, and cried herself to sleep.

  Chapter Nine

  The Grapevine

  OKAY, WENDY, YOU CAN DO THIS. She paced back and forth on her kitchen floor with the phone in her hand. For the third time, she was going to attempt to dial her parents’ house. She nervously began pushing the buttons. 5-5-5-7-0-9—before completing the call she hung up, just as she had done two times previously.

  Wait! Figure out exactly what you’re going to say first, Wendy silently told herself as her pulse increased with each passing minute. Earlier she had received a phone call from Kim indicating that her lie about being in Philadelphia over the holidays had hit the fan and was on its way down to smack her dead in the face.

  She had been home from school for only about an hour before the phone had rung. Wendy recalled answering it.

 
; “Wendy, you need to call Mama and tell her that you didn’t go to Philly now!” Kim whispered.

  “What? Why?” Kim’s insistence caught Wendy totally off guard.

  “Gramma knows. I swear I didn’t tell her, and neither did Terrance.”

  “Okay, so what makes you think that she knows something?” Wendy asked nervously.

  “I stopped by Mama’s house to drop her cake pans off. Remember, she donated a few pound cakes for the bake sale at Tori’s school to raise money for that little girl in her class that was severely burned in a house fire?”

  “Yeah, and . . .”

  “Her mother didn’t have health insurance so some parents were trying to raise money to help out with her medical bills.”

  “I know, Kim. You told me all of that. What happened with Gramma? And speak up—I can barely hear you,” Wendy said impatiently. Although she was saddened by what had happened to that child, she was more interested in what Kim had to tell her about Frances.

  “Hold on and let me go in the bedroom. I’m trying not to talk loud so the kids can’t hear me.”

  Kim’s transition from one room to another took only a second, but it seemed like an eternity to Wendy.

  “Can you hear me now?” Kim asked much louder this time.

  “Yes. Finish what you were saying, please.”

  “I’m trying. Well, I got off of work early because my last appointment canceled on me so I called Terrance and told him that he didn’t have to pick up the kids. I went by Mama’s house to return her pans and she wasn’t there. Gramma said that she’d left to run some errands.”

  “Um-hmm.”

  “Anyhow, do you know who Sister Binford is?”

  “I’m trying to think—is she a lady around Gramma’s age, like in her early seventies or so?”

  “Probably. I don’t know how old she is.”

  “If I am thinking of the right person, she wears this reddish brown wig that never seems to be on straight.”