Soul Matters

by Yolonda Tonette Sanders

  All of this will be good. I may go to church every now and then, but I’m not regular church-attendance material. With the exception of her parents, her sister, and a few other people, she was completely turned off by the behavior she saw “Christians” exhibiting. Most of the time how they acted on Sunday was in direct contrast with how they were Monday through Saturday. I’m better off the way I am, Kim thought, referring to the fact that she was herself every day of the week.

  After Kim got out of the shower, she was surprised that her little Sleeping Beauty was no longer lying on her side of the bed. She slipped on her bathrobe and walked down the hall to Tori’s room. To her amazement, she found Tori getting dressed for church already. Kim always laid her clothes out the night before. Tori had even taken the initiative and woken Tyler. He was in the bathroom washing up.

  “Good morning,” Kim said, and kissed her daughter on the forehead. “You know you kept me up this morning.”

  “I’m sorry. I had a bad dream and couldn’t sleep.”

  “Do you remember what your dream was about?”

  “No, not really. I just remember that it scared me.”

  “You do know that there’s nothing to be scared of, right?”

  “Yes ma’am.”

  “I’m going to finish getting dressed and then go and fix y’all something to eat.” Kim turned to walk out of Tori’s room.

  “Mommy.”

  “Yes?”

  “Are you still going to church today?”

  Dang! “Sure, I said I would, didn’t I?” If Tori hadn’t remembered her mother’s promise, Kim wouldn’t have brought it up. Maybe she would be more eager to go on a Sunday other than this one. Today was the first Sunday in February. As far as Kim could remember, first Sundays were always the longest church services.

  “Will Daddy come too?”

  “I don’t know, honey. He’s still sleeping, but I’ll ask him,” Kim replied and proceeded to walk back down the hall.

  What am I going to wear? Kim thought. She didn’t have a huge selection of church clothes. Increasing her church attire had never been a priority on her shopping list. There were a few things she could wear, but nothing fancy like most people often wore on Sundays. She was about to go back to Tori’s room and say that she didn’t have anything to wear for church but changed her mind. But Jesus said to come as you are . . . she could hear her daughter respond. Kim wasn’t sure if Tori knew that scripture or not, but she didn’t want to take any chances.

  Kim went through the process of taking her clothes out of the closet, laying them on the bed, holding each outfit up to her while looking in the mirror, only to put it back in the closet again. She had been doing this for about twenty minutes before Terrance finally woke up from noisy hangers squealing across the rack.

  Kim always found a way to wake him up earlier than he would like on the weekends. If she wasn’t hitting snooze on her alarm a half dozen times, she was yelling at the kids or doing something else distracting. It was as if she didn’t realize that he would enjoy sleeping in occasionally. He got up at 3:00 A.M. Monday through Friday to get to the television station where he worked by 4:30 A.M. In college, Terrance had majored in communications with a minor in electronics. His senior year he landed an internship at the CBS affiliate station WBNS in Columbus. He started working on the production team. As luck would have it, a permanent position came open and he was asked if he wanted the job. Although they couldn’t officially hire him until after graduation, they kept him on as an intern even when his internship was up. Now Terrance was in charge of running the TelePrompTer for the morning news crew and then he switched to lighting and sound production. He didn’t make nearly as much money as Kevin did. However, he got a pretty decent salary that would steadily increase as the years went by and he gained additional experience.

  “Do you have to be so loud?” an irritated Terrance asked Kim. He enjoyed his job, but getting up early morning after morning took its toll sometimes. The weekends were the only days he had to rest.

  “Sorry. I’m trying to find something to wear to church.”

  “You’re what?” Terrance heard her, but it was one of those things she needed to repeat in order for him to believe what she said.

  “I’m going to church with the kids.”

  “What are they having today?” Terrance sat up in the bed, afraid that he’d missed the announcement of a program. Kim never went to church unless it was a special occasion.

  “Nothing. Tori asked me to go and I said yeah,” Kim said, while taking more items out of the closet. “She wants you to go, also.”

  “Really?” Terrance laid his head back down on the pillow. “Aw, man.”

  “What?”

  “I really don’t feel like going.”

  “Then don’t.”

  Terrance didn’t plan on doing anything today but relaxing. However, he was amazed by Kim’s willingness to go and he decided to follow her example so Tori wouldn’t be disappointed.

  Kim finally settled on wearing a long blue-jean skirt with a black turtleneck and her black leather boots. She figured that she would be somewhat underdressed but didn’t care. If she was going to be there all afternoon, she was going to be comfortable.

  She had planned to cook breakfast that morning, but with the curve ball that had been thrown and the amount of time she took getting dressed, there was no time left even to boil water. She and Terrance decided that they would pick up something on the way to church and everyone could eat in the car.

  “I can’t wait until we get to church,” Tori stated while her father was driving. “Gramma is going to be glad to see us.”

  “Oh, I gotta call your grandmother so she doesn’t come to pick y’all up. I’m glad you said something about her.” Kim grabbed the cell phone out of her purse, praying that Marlene hadn’t left the house yet.

  “Mama,” Kim said with relief when Marlene answered the phone.

  “Yes?”

  “You don’t have to pick up Tori and Tyler. We’re taking them to church today.”

  “Okay. Are you coming over afterwards to pick them up or do you want me to drop them off?”

  “No, Mama. We’re coming to church, meaning that we are actually staying for the service, so they can just come back home with us.”

  “You’re staying at the church for the entire service?” Marlene asked uncertainly.

  “Yes.”

  “Praise the Lord!” she shouted. “What made you decide to join us today?”

  “Tori wanted us to come.”

  “Both you and Terrance are coming, right?”

  “Yes, Mother.”

  “Glory to God. Michael, guess what? Kim and Terrance are coming to church today.”

  “Good,” Kim overheard her father say.

  “Ain’t that wonderful?”

  “Yeah,” Michael said unemotionally. His personality was more laid-back than his wife’s.

  “Oh, girl, you don’t know how glad I am to hear that. God sho’ is good. I’ve been praying for y’all for a while. The effectual fervent prayer of the righteous availeth much!” Marlene paraphrased the second part of James 5:16.

  Kim feared that her mother was getting melodramatic. “Relax, Mama. We’re just coming to church. Nobody said we were going to join. Don’t go gettin’ all excited about nothin’.”

  “Well, it’s a start and I’m praising God anyhow. So I’ll see you there.”

  “Okay.” Kim ended the call. She silently rode in the car, repeating the scripture that Tori had recited to her: “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Soul Sistas

  YOU FEELIN’ ALL RIGHT, KIM?” Gwendolyn, the owner of the hair salon where Kim worked, questioned.

  “Yeah. Why you ask that?”

  “Girl, you seem like you’ve been out of it all day,” Gwendolyn said as she swept hair off the floor from around her workstation. Many of the
other hairstylists were either with clients, waiting for clients, or also cleaning up their stations. Kim was sanitizing her combs and making sure that her area was stocked with the supplies she would need the next day.

  “I’m just tired, that’s all.”

  “You sure that’s it?”

  “Yeah, Gwen. I’m fine,” Kim protested.

  “Okay, if you say so. You know I’m here if you need me.”

  “Yeah, I know. Thanks.” Kim didn’t want to say anything to Gwen, but she was contemplating whether or not to go to church with Wendy tonight. For the last two months, Kim had consistently gotten up on Sundays and gone to church with her children. Terrance had gone a couple of times, but he wasn’t as committed as she had been.

  Each week when Pastor Jones invited people to join the church, Marlene always looked at her and smiled, but Kim never stepped forward. She didn’t intend to continue going so diligently. Right now she was anxious to hear the rest of the series that Pastor Jones was preaching entitled “Living the Christian Life.” She had no intentions of claiming Christianity. It was just fascinating for her to see how many “Christians” lived in direct contrast to what he preached about. Now that spring had rolled around, it was not so much of a sacrifice for her to get up and out of the house in the mornings as it had been in the winter. However, when the series ended, Kim believed that her consistent church attendance would also.

  If she went with Wendy tonight, it would be the first non-Sunday event she had attended since she was a teenager. Wendy had invited Kim to the Soul Sistas meeting, which met on the first Friday of each month. It was a women’s ministry that aimed to address the spiritual, mental, emotional, and even physical needs of women. From what Wendy said, it was an awesome ministry. They often invited guest speakers and planned special trips for the women. Kim didn’t know if she was ready to participate in something like that, especially since she was not interested in becoming a member of the church.

  “Do you need me to do anything before I leave?” Kim asked Gwendolyn after she finished getting her station in order.

  “Naw, you go ahead and get out of here. You look like you need the rest,” Gwen responded as she looked in the mirror and fluffed her hair with her hands. She had owned and operated her shop for the last seven years and had been quite successful. The name of the salon, GWEN’S,pointed to the confidence she had in herself as a hairstylist and as a person. Gwendolyn was a very thick woman, but one of the most secure people that Kim had ever known.

  Gwen refused to allow her excess weight to keep her from feeling or looking good. She had all the curves that guys liked. Hers were just a little fuller. She was blessed with naturally arched eyebrows and dark brown skin that never seemed to break out. Gwen was beautiful and she knew it. Anyone who didn’t know her personally might think that she was conceited because she walked with so much assurance. However, Gwen was not conceited; she liked to use the term convinced.

  She was convinced in her ability to succeed. At sixteen Gwen had had her first child, who was now about to turn fourteen. She lived with her elderly grandmother, who raised her after her parents were killed in a car accident. For a while Gwen worked at department stores and fast-food restaurants after high school because she couldn’t afford to go to college. However, when her grandmother died she left Gwen a lump sum of money that Gwen swore she would put to good use. By the time she was twenty-three, she had gotten her cosmetology license and opened up her own shop, which had grown to be one of the most successful hair salons in all of Columbus.

  Gwen was also convinced that even though she had a little extra packaging, she could get the finest brothers if she wanted. A few of her ex-boyfriends turned the heads of the skinnier girls in the shop. Gwen knew her limitations, and she dressed sexy, not sleazy. Guys were attracted to her outgoing personality, fun nature, and warm smile. Contrary to what anyone may have thought, she had always been the dumper and not the dumpee. When Gwendolyn Marie Simmons stepped onto the scene, even a man with a woman who measured 36-24-36 at his side would take a second look. Gwen demanded respect and attention, and she definitely got both.

  “Thank you for calling Gwen’s. How can I help you?” Kim overheard Gwen answer the phone as she walked toward the backroom to get her purse and jacket.

  Once there, she carelessly grabbed her purse off the hook and the strap snapped, flinging all of her stuff on the floor. “Shoot!” she said. Normally, she would have used another word, but ever since that first Sunday when she went to church with the children, she’d been trying to improve her vocabulary. She had slipped and used profanity on occasion, but now, unlike before, the curse words sounded awkward coming out of her mouth.

  “Gwen said to tell you that your sister is on the phone,” one of Kim’s co-workers announced when she came into the backroom to throw dirty towels in the washer.

  “Okay, thanks.” There was a phone located back there that Kim could easily have answered, but she wanted to gather all of the belongings first. Besides, she knew Gwen and Wendy wouldn’t mind talking to each other for a few minutes. Wendy and Gwen had gone to grade school, junior high, and high school together. They had been best friends for years. It was Gwen who had encouraged Kim to get a cosmetology degree and work at the shop.

  Tori had been born a few weeks after Kim graduated from high school. Kim had had no idea what she would do with her life. All of her plans had gone down the drain when her former boyfriend virtually abandoned her. She and her ex-boyfriend, Darius, had been going together since their sophomore year. At the beginning of their senior year of high school, his dad’s job transferred to Atlanta and his family moved just when Kim found out she was pregnant. At that time, the plan was for Kim to move down there after the baby was born. She and Darius intended to marry—or so she had thought.

  Kim began looking into colleges in Atlanta where she could major in accounting. Darius’s mother had volunteered to keep the baby while Kim and Darius earned their degrees. His mother planned to work only part time because her husband’s new salary increased so that she didn’t need a full-time job. However, once Darius moved, the time between his phone calls became longer and longer. One day Kim received a letter from him stating that he wanted to postpone their wedding plans. He felt a little overwhelmed about becoming a father and husband before he had a chance to really experience life. Kim was devastated and never wrote back. To this day, Darius still did not know if the baby had been a boy or a girl.

  With a baby, no job, and a grandmother who swore that she was about to make a mess of her life and soak up the welfare system, Kim jumped at the opportunity when Gwen offered her a job at the shop. But she had to get her license. To help pay for school, Gwen allowed her to work as an apprentice and even donated supplies to her so that Kim didn’t have many out-of-pocket expenses. Kim never thought she would enjoy doing hair, but it wasn’t bad. Sometimes she wished that she were able to get her accounting degree, but she would forever be grateful to Gwen for looking out for her. Gwen took a great risk considering that her shop was only a little over a year old at the time and she still needed to build her clientele.

  Unlike Gwen, Kim had a “replacement” father for her child. Throughout the whole ordeal with Darius, Terrance had been right by her side. He and Kim had been friends since they were twelve, and he was asked to be Tori’s godfather way before Darius broke up with Kim. Even though he went to school full time, Terrance would baby-sit between classes and worked part time on the weekends to help Kim financially. It was obvious that he had a huge crush on her. Everyone knew they would eventually hook up despite their protests of being “just friends.”

  Kim finally picked up all of her scattered belongings and answered the phone. “Hello?” Her frustration about her purse breaking showed in the tone of her voice.

  “Ugh, what’s wrong with you?” Wendy asked.

  “Girl, she’s been acting funny all day. She wouldn’t tell me what’s wrong—maybe she’ll tell you,” Gwen stated.

/>   The last thing Kim wanted to hear right now was her older sister and her surrogate big sister analyzing her. “I’m fine. All of my stuff just dropped out of my purse.”

  “Oh, that’s what took you so long. Well I’m gonna hang up and let y’all talk. My client just walked through the door. I’ll talk to you later, Wendy.”

  “All right.” Gwen hung up the phone. “Kim?”

  “Yeah, I’m still here.”

  “Are you going with me tonight?”

  “I was, but now I gotta go to the store and get a new purse. My strap just broke.”

  “Don’t even try that. I’ve seen your closet. You have plenty of purses at home.”

  “Yeah, I know, but those are the ones that I like to carry with special outfits.” Kim was dressed in a pair of slacks with a cotton short-sleeved shirt. “This is my everyday purse and I wasn’t planning on dressing up tonight ’cuz you told me that I didn’t have to.” Her outfit was still clean because she had worn a cape while doing hair.

  “If you need a purse that bad, you can use the black one I carried this past winter ’cuz I just bought a new Gucci purse the other day.”

  “But I still want to buy my own purse.”

  “You can, but you don’t have to do it tonight. You’re just trying to get out of going to church.”

  “Fine, I’ll come. What time do you want me to meet you there?”

  “Let’s see, it’s almost five now. It starts at seven, so meet me in the lobby about ten ’til.”

  “Okay.”

  Kim hung up with her sister, said good-bye to everyone in the shop, and headed out the door. She planned to stop at home for a few minutes before going to the church.