Eyes Wide Open (Healing Hearts #2)

by Renee Dyer

  Why won’t he fuck me already?

  I push my ass back against him, silently begging him to take me. A rough slap comes down across my ass, the sound echoing through the confined space. It surprises me, eliciting a cry. “Like that, don’t you, sweetness?” His hand comes down on my ass again. Ouch! The sound assaults my ears, but my core comes bursting further to life. It screams for attention.

  “Please, Tucker.” I don’t know what I’m begging for exactly, but I’ll say anything if it gets him to touch me.

  “Please what, Adriana? Tell me what you want. I want to hear it.”

  Indecision fills me. I want him more than I need my next breath, but I’ve never been one to talk dirty. Can I say what I want?

  “Tell me!” His forcefulness startles me and causes me to flood between my thighs.

  “Fuck me, Tucker. Now!” I suck in a breath at my own words.

  He jerks my ass back, bending me at my waist and sinks into me. His massive length fills me completely and I scream out. He drops my hands and wraps his hands around my hips. His pace is fast and rough and I can’t get enough. I push back just as hard. It’s frantic and I press against the shower doors with my hands to gain stability. His heavy breathing in my ear, knowing he’s out of control, is my undoing. The orgasm that’s been building fractures and has me coming apart all over him. I can feel myself rippling over his cock as I continue to give as good as I’m getting.

  “Oh God… Tucker! Yes… don’t stop fucking me!” I can’t believe the words that have come from my mouth.

  Pain rips through my shoulder; it’s sharp and fuels my orgasm. I realize he’s biting me and I want my hands on him, but I can’t get to him in this position. His breathing is getting heavier. I hear him panting and I know he’s so close. I curl my hips and ride him as hard and fast as I can. His panting is the hottest sound I’ve ever heard and I want to make him sound like this again and again.

  His dick thickens and I feel him explode within me, his liquid heat warming my insides. “Ahh, fuck! Adriana!” His teeth find my shoulder again and I cry out with him. Holy shit this man is sexy.

  I let him come down from his orgasm before turning to him. I pull his face to mine and kiss him with everything I am. Pulling back, I make sure I have his attention. “Can I pretend to be bad so you can punish me again?” The chuckle that leaves his lips has me ready to go again, but I know he needs a little time and I’m sure he wants to go see his Grams. Guess I need to put my inner sex kitten away for a while.

  Stepping from the shower, Tucker wraps me in the towel I had gotten out. It’s the fluffiest towel I’ve ever felt and I feel silly thinking I have to ask Rose how she gets her towels so soft. Seriously, these things are softer than the towels at any hotel I’ve ever stayed in. My brain becomes more muddled as his hands start moving up and down my body, alternating between rubbing and patting me dry. I’m trying to control the urges I have to see if I can get him hard again so quickly, but his hands are creating a delicious friction.

  I wiggle away from him. His questioning eyebrow raise has my cheeks turning red and I’m sure he can read my desire all over my face. He steps toward me and I step to the side. His mouth crooks up into a half smile. It’s a crooked, sexy, one sided smirk that is taking everything in my power to walk away from without latching myself to those damn full, kissable lips. He knows I want him again and he’s goading me.

  “You got breakfast,” I croak out in a voice I don’t recognize. It’s breathy and timid. Damn him for getting to me so easily.

  “Yeah. You hungry?” He raises his eyebrow again and the look in his eye makes me wonder if he’s talking about food. I struggle to keep my eyes on his face.

  “Uh huh.” It’s not eloquent, but I’m finding it hard to articulate any words when he’s still standing in front of me completely naked. Why is he not getting a towel to dry himself? I try to ignore the perfection only feet away from me as I finish toweling myself. As I start to wrap the towel around my head, Tucker grabs it from me. A small sound of surprise I can’t explain falls from my lips.

  “Mind if I borrow that, sweetness?” He’s smirking at me as he slowly bends, showing me a gorgeously sculpted side profile of him. I want to trace the outline of him. Start at his muscular arms, go up over his shoulders, trace a path down his back, follow the curve of his perfectly shaped ass… oh man, I need to stop. My breathing is growing heavy at the thought and my nipples are hard. I need to get away from him now. Grabbing my clothes, I make a mad dash past him, listening to his laughter follow behind me. I hate that he knows he had me, but there is no denying it.

  Before he can start something I know I’ll let him finish, something I want him to finish, I throw my clothes from the night before on, minus my underwear. Call me crazy, but I can’t wear dirty underwear. Never gone commando before, but I’ll deal with being uncomfortable until we get to my hotel room. His arms come around me from behind, cradling me to his naked body, and I have to hold my breath to not moan or whimper with need for him. His lips are near my ear. I feel his breath feathering over my neck. I lay my head back on his chest and forget that I’m trying to behave. If he’s not in any kind of rush, why should I be?

  “I will never get enough of you," he whispers, sending shivers through my entire body. He stands still, holding me in his arms, the warmth of his nakedness heating me through my clothing. I feel too hot. Too dressed. “I wish I could undress you and start all over again, but there’s somewhere I want to take you before we go see Grams. Do you mind meeting someone?”

  I can’t imagine whom he would want me to meet. The only person he ever talks about is his Grams, but I know it’s major that he asked me at all so I nod my head yes, still too turned on to speak.

  “Let’s go eat and I’ll take you to your hotel so you can get some clean clothes.”

  I turn in his arms and can’t stop the giggle that falls from my lips. “You plan to put some clothes on before we head out?”

  “What? You really think the no shirt, no shoes, no service rule applies to me?” I stand up on my tippy toes, place my hands on his face, and pull him to me for a kiss. How the hell did I stay away from him the last couple of months?

  “I think it’s time you feed me.”

  “I’ll feed you.” He waggles his eyebrows at me and I push myself completely flush with him, feeling the erection that pushes back at me. “Aw fuck, sweetness. I need you again.”

  His words go through me, igniting a fire in every cell, every nerve, and every muscle in my body. I break apart from him and frantically start ripping at my clothes, pulling and tugging until I’m as blissfully naked as he is. Watching his dimples break free as he smiles at me has me clenching my thighs together.

  “Aaahhhh, Tucker,” I chuckle as he throws me over his shoulder, carries me to the bed, and drops me on it. The look of hunger in his eyes stops all the humor I was feeling. He crawls over me, holding himself up on one arm. His eyes roam my body as his free hand starts a trail up my stomach.

  “God, sweetness, I’ve missed this,” he says, running his nose up my neck and behind my ear. I shiver beneath him. “And I’ve missed this,” he says, cupping my breast. I can’t stop the moan that falls from my lips. I feel him smile against my neck. “I miss putting my mouth on you and watching your sweet little body come alive, hear the sounds you make that drive me fucking crazy, that make me want to devour you.” He pulls his head back and looks me in the eye. “Are you ready for me to devour you?”

  Unable to form words, I think I give some kind of sign that says hell yes I’m definitely ready for that. And, devour me, he does.

  We do manage to get dressed and go down for breakfast. He went out for muffins and got me tea, vanilla chai, which makes my heart feel warm. Too bad I have to warm the tea back up due to our delay in getting to our breakfast, but I’m not really upset about that. I do get a few jibes in about it, earning some pouts and a lot of smiles from him. I was hesitant about making this trip, but now I’m gl
ad I came.

  Tucker holds my hand, walking into the hotel. All the way to my room, he keeps a hold of me, never worrying who may see us. I’m glad I packed a sundress because it’s shaping up to be a hot day. I quickly change, apply a little makeup, and braid my hair off to the side. I remember Tucker liked it the last time I wore my hair this way. I’ve never been one of those girls who get ready with the thought that I need to please my man before.

  My man.

  I’m shocked at the thought as it rolls through my mind. We haven’t talked about it, but it does feel like something real is happening between us. I know I’m not running from him this time. My heart won’t let me. With a smile on my face, I walk out of the bathroom to his full dimple smile greeting me and I know I never want to lose this.

  I’ll find a way to make the distance work. Three thousand miles sucks, but a life without him sucks more.

  When Tucker said he wanted to introduce me to someone, I admit that I couldn’t stop thinking about it. The only person from his past he speaks about with fondness is his Grams. My nerves are shot. Meeting new people has never been easy for me, and I’m not sure who he’ll say I am. It shouldn’t matter, but to my heart, it does.

  He stops the car in front of a cemetery and I feel my entire body go cold. He couldn’t possibly…

  He doesn’t know what cemeteries do to me. He doesn’t know I haven’t stepped foot in a cemetery since the day Alex was buried. Oh God, what am I supposed to do?

  My car door opens and Tucker is standing there with his hand held out and his blue eyes smiling down at me. I stare up at into the blue eyes of the man I’ve come to care so much for and the panic attack that was gripping me moments ago starts to fade away.

  “You ready, sweetness?”

  I take his hand, step into the sunshine, and let the heat roll through my body, chasing away my remaining fear. Tucker asked me to be here. This is important to him. I keep reminding myself that with each step I take, praying the broken pieces of me stay together.

  We don’t go far before he stops and turns to me. I’ve never seen him smile so big and it steals my breath. There’s a sadness in his eyes too, but there’s so much joy there. I want to wrap myself in that joy and never let go. I never thought I could find joy in a place that means death and pain to me, but his smile is making me realize I need to go visit Alex’s grave soon. If he can find peace like this, then maybe I can too.

  “Adriana, I want you to meet my mom, Lily Mae Stavros.” He pulls me tight to his side. “Mom, this is Adriana Monroe, the only woman I’ve ever felt deserving of meeting you and the woman who saved Grams’ life.”

  He chokes up and I look up to see his eyes misted over. It brings tears to my eyes to see this man so broken over the thought of losing someone. All because he’s lost too many people already.

  “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Stavros.” I try to hide the fact that I’m a little weirded out by meeting his deceased mother and slightly panicked from being in a cemetery. I’m beyond moved that he wants me to meet her. Seeing what this means to him has my heart opening doors for him to walk through; doors that I thought would remain forever closed and locked.

  “She likes to be called Lily,” he says, dropping my hand and taking the last couple steps to her headstone. I watch as he kneels down, keeping one hand on her headstone. With the other, he places the flowers he was holding on the ground in front of it, whispering words that are meant for only her to hear. Surprisingly, I’m not the least bit curious to know what he’s saying to her. I don’t want to know if he’s telling her about me or if he’s asking her to look over his Grams. I have no interest in interfering on this very private moment.

  I look around the cemetery and I’m impressed at how well manicured it is. So many plots have flowers or bushes, shrubs or mementos of some type. Guilt swamps me that not only have I never thought of bringing anything to Alex’s grave; I’ve never even visited it. I silently make a promise to myself to change that when I get back home.

  Chills run down my back and suddenly, I’m overcome by the feeling of being watched. I peek over both shoulders and don’t see anyone. I don’t want to act paranoid or upset Tucker so I try to shake it off. It’s probably the stories he’s told me of the paparazzi chasing him down adding to my nerves of being in the cemetery. I need to relax and stop freaking out.

  I turn back to Tucker and he’s on his knees, whispering a prayer for his mom. I can’t help the smile it brings to my face. He’s touching places in my heart I thought were off limits. Dragging my eyes from him, I start to read Lily’s headstone. I make it to her date of birth when my world turns on its axis.

  “February nineteenth,” I barely whisper. It’s obvious he doesn’t hear me and I’m glad for that. I need a minute to process what this means. There must be a mistake. His mom couldn’t have been born on February nineteenth. There’s no way. It must be a mistake. Did he find out what that date means to me? Why is this happening? I look around as a feeling of being watched overcomes me again. Tucker is still having a conversation with his mother’s grave while I try not to have a complete meltdown. I can feel eyes on me, know someone is watching, but I can’t see them. I spin in a circle, but still, I see no one making it known that they are watching me, watching us. My heart beat speeds up and I’m afraid I’m going to pass out.

  I need to calm down, but all I can think is how can his mother’s birthday be February nineteenth? Unless, this is all a set up. What if Tucker was sent to meet me? How did I not think of this before? Jesus, Adriana. He’s a movie star. Why would he come to New Hampshire and randomly drive through a no name little town? Pushing my hand into my mouth to stop myself from crying out, I feel my world crumbling around me. But, how did he know to come to me? Someone must have sent him. Someone in my life must have thought this was the way to get me to move on. Didn’t they know how it would break me when I found out? Is it for a show? It must be. He’s an actor. None of this is real. It was all a lie. A lie.

  “This was all a game to you.” I was just a game to him. Oh God. No! My heart shatters and all I can think is I need to get away from him. I start to back up while looking around at the same time, convinced there must be a camera crew filming this entire moment.

  “Sweetness?”

  I vaguely see him standing up and walking toward me. I throw my hands out in front of me and shake my head back and forth. I can’t let him touch me. The tiny hold I have on my sanity might start to splinter into fragments I can never reclaim. I stare into his confused eyes and I want to scream at him to stop acting, but the pain has lodged all the words in my throat. I’m still backing up and looking around for the camera crew that I know must be hiding, filming my heart breaking.

  How stupid I was. I fell for all of his words of wanting me. I believed this successful, gorgeous man that millions of women dream of being with wanted me. What the hell did I think made me so special? Nothing did and that’s what hurts so badly now. His team really did their homework. They had him pulling into the driveway of the one person who had no man coming home to her. Pathetic Adriana.

  Where the hell are they?

  And the tattoo on his back… is it real? Is it some kind of semi-permanent thing that the make-up crew made up for him to trick me? I just need to get away from him.

  “Adriana, what’s going on? Please talk to me.”

  Talk to him. Talk to him, seriously? I don’t want to speak to him ever again. The ground comes out from under my feet and I see blue sky above me as my knees connect with a headstone behind me. I start falling backwards, my arms flailing wildly. I know I’m going to hit the ground hard and there’s nothing I can do to stop that. I hear Tucker shouting my name and the part of my heart that wants to believe that he would never hurt me rejoices. Stupid heart. It betrays me at every turn.

  Warm arms catch me before I hit the ground and I look into his concerned eyes. I hate him for still acting. Doesn’t he see that I’ve figured it out? “Where are they?” I ask
him.

  “Who, sweetness?”

  “Stop calling me that! Stop acting. I know now. February nineteenth, really? Did you think I wouldn’t figure it out?” I’m screaming at him and I don’t care if the cameras get it all on film. I hope they do. I want them to see what they’ve done to me.

  “My mom’s birthday? Why does her birthday have you so upset? Please calm down and talk to me, Adriana.”

  I notice I’m still in his arms and it pisses me off. “Let me go,” I shout trying to wiggle free, but he grips onto me. “Don’t act like you don’t know that’s the day Alex died. Let go of me!”

  “No!” He shouts at me and I stop fighting for a second. “I’m not letting go until you talk to me. I didn’t know that was the day Alex died. You never told me that and you know I never asked. I’ve let you come to me when you’ve been ready to talk. Can you please tell me why you’re freaking out because you’re scaring the shit out of me?”

  “Why are you still pretending?” I ask as the first tear falls down my cheek. “Was your network so desperate for ratings that they sent you out to seduce a widow?”

  “Wh-what?”

  “You can tell them to come out now.”

  “Dammit, Adriana, look at me and hear what I’m telling you.” He’s shaking me by my arms. I look into his eyes and I see determination there. “If I have to take you door to door and ask every person in this town to let us go through their house to prove to you there are no camera crews I will. I swear to you, I didn’t know Alex died on February nineteenth.”

  He never breaks eye contact with me and his words ring of truth, but I’m scared to believe him. I’m scared that this is too much coincidence. “I don’t know what to think about this, Tucker. Maybe you should take me back to my hotel and go get your Grams alone.”