Madison Johns - Agnes Barton 02 - Grannies, Guns and Ghosts

by Madison Johns

  Duchess jumped up next to Martha who scurried to her feet. “I hate cats,” Martha exclaimed. As if in response Duchess hissed, her fur rose upward and her back arched.

  Eleanor chuckled. “It looks like Duchess doesn’t care much for you either.”

  I picked Duchess up and placed her before her food dish. She looked lazily up at me and tore into her food. “Poor dear, I promise to not neglect you so.”

  “So where are you staying?” El asked Martha.

  “I’m not sure yet. Maybe mosey off and see if they have an open spot here.”

  “Not in this campground?” I cleared my throat. “From the looks of it you don’t have a camper and they don’t allow tents in this campground.”

  “I could rent a camper.”

  “You could rent a cabin down the road.”

  Martha frowned. “Okay I get it, you just don’t want me around.”

  “I-It’s not that. I-I just…” I had to tell Sophia she was back in town before Martha showed up there unannounced too.

  El patted my hand. “It’s all right dear. I know this is the shock of your life.” She turned toward Martha. “I’m afraid Aggie might need to adjust to you being in town, Martha.”

  Martha stood and made her way toward the door and we followed her outside. “I suppose it might be best if I head out now. I’ll find suitable accommodations somewhere else.”

  We watched as she tore out down the gravel drive and I just shook. “Come on, El, before she tracks down Sophia.”

  We hopped back into the Caddy and zoomed down the street toward Sophia’s apartment. She lived in a duplex on the northern edge of East Tawas. It wasn’t on the lake but across the road where the woods bordered the property. When we pulled up Sophia was outside talking with Trooper Sales who was wearing the same clothes he had on last night!

  We walked toward the pair. “Aggie, just settle yourself down,” El said.

  I turned to glare at her, “Meaning?”

  El grimaced with a curve to her lips. “If looks could kill Sales would be dead.”

  “I like Sales, I just don’t like him near my granddaughter.”

  Eleanor gasped. “Everybody needs somebody.”

  I wasn’t about to be swayed. “He needs to find himself a woman his own age.”

  “Shucks, Aggie, he can’t be all that older than her.”

  Sophia eyes widened and Sales turned. “Gramms, what are you doing here?”

  Sales smiled weakly. “I best get going and let you two talk. I’m working today.”

  As he jumped into his truck I said, “You might want to go home and change clothes first. You know how rumor mills are around here. I’d hate for my granddaughter’s reputation to be flawed in any way.”

  “Would it matter if I told you I slept on the couch?”

  I ignored him and hugged Sophia, and after a full minute, Sales spun off down the road.

  “Gramms, I c-can’t breathe.”

  “I’m so sorry.” I wiped at a tear in my eye. “I have something to tell you.”

  Sophia’s pallor whitened. “You make it sound so bad. Did somebody die?”

  I shook my head as Sophia led us inside. Sophia’s place was quite small and I noted the blanket and pillows on her blue sofa. Maybe the trooper really did sleep on the couch, not that it mattered at the moment.

  Along one wall were family pictures including one with Eleanor sticking her tongue out. There were also many I had taken of Sophia on her yearly vacations to Tawas. No pictures of either Martha or her father Johnny. Not having one single picture of your parents couldn’t be a good thing, although I doubted Martha had one of me either.

  Sophia rattled in kitchen and soon the smell of coffee hung thickly in the air. Her kitchen consisted of an open floor plan with white cupboards. You’d be hard pressed to make much of a meal in that small of a kitchen. When the coffee was done, she brought us each a cup with my favorite vanilla creamer. “I wish I knew just how to say this.”

  Sophia wrinkled her brow. “Say what?”

  “When is the last time you heard from your mom?” I asked as I poured the creamer.

  Her eyes widened. “I-I d-don’t remember exactly, maybe since before college.”

  “Not since last summer?”

  “No, I mean, I did try and call her, but Martha doesn’t have a phone.”

  “Martha?” I was a little taken aback by Sophia referencing her as Martha not mom.

  “I know she’s my mom and all, but she hasn’t been much of one in many years, not since the divorce anyway.”

  “I see, and she just fell off the planet and you never noticed?”

  “I had more important things on my plate, like school.” She tugged a brush through her hair. “She hasn’t contacted you?”

  “We had a strained relationship. I haven’t really spoken much to her. She’d drop you off in the summer when you were a child and left real fast like. I can’t recall the last time we had more than a few words spoken between us.” I cleared my throat. “I did try and call her last summer, but she never returned my phone calls either.”

  Sophia circled her finger around the coffee cup. “There was a neighbor’s phone number, but after the divorce, she just took off and I haven’t heard from her since.”

  “How about your dad?”

  “He remarried and moved to Florida.” She frowned. “I don’t hear from him and I quit calling.”

  “I’m so sorry, Sophia. I just don’t get it. I don’t understand what would make Martha behave that way. I certainly didn’t raise her that way.”

  “It’s not your fault, Gramms.”

  Eleanor smiled sympathetically. “It’s a good thing you two have each other.”

  “Thanks, Eleanor. Who wouldn’t like spending time with the most awesome Gramms ever?” She smiled. “So what is the big news?”

  I coughed at that. “Martha is in town. She dropped by my campsite.”

  Sophia’s mouth gaped open and she swallowed hard. “I see. You didn’t tell her where I live did you?”

  “Of course not! But she said that she wanted to find you. I’m afraid it will only be a matter of time. I’m as uncomfortable as you are about this whole deal.”

  “Was she alone?”

  “Yes, why?”

  With a faraway look in her eye, “Just curious I guess.”

  I gave Sophia a quick hug again. “I didn’t want this to be a shock to you if she turns up is all.”

  I moved away as Eleanor answered her cell phone, she nodded as I mouthed, “Who is it?” Holding up a finger in pause, she said, “Thanks, we’ll be there shortly,” and powered off the phone.

  “Who was that?”

  “Another tip. It seems there is a court hearing happening that has something to do with Herman Butler’s remains.”

  “Just like the sheriff mentioned last night.”

  “Yup, maybe he’s turning over a new leaf.”

  “Maybe. Is the widow is pushing for the cremation?”

  El nodded her head. “Sounds that way.”

  “You two better get on over there then,” Sophia said. “I need to get ready for work.”

  El and I rushed out the door and raced over to the courthouse like folks half our age. “Strange how we can move fast-like when in the midst of a case,” I said.

  “I wouldn’t miss this for the world,” El replied. “Maybe that hunk of man funeral director will be there.”

  “Why shouldn’t that surprise me?”

  “I need to upsize.”

  “He looks a little super-sized.”

  “At least I won’t have to worry about hurting him then.” She chuckled.

  “Please don’t elaborate, I don’t think my breakfast settled yet. That or the activities of this morning just haven’t resonated with me yet. What with Martha showing up and Sophia’s reaction to the news it’s all a little too much and too soon.”

  Chapter Twelve

  When El and I arrived at the courthouse the par
king lot was packed, but I managed to squeeze into a space, maybe a bit too close between cars.

  Eleanor went to chuckling, her belly doing flip flops. “There is no way I can squeeze out, Aggie, just no way.”

  “Sorry.”

  I backed out enough so she could get out and I then drove back into the space. I managed to squeeze out of the car and between them to where Eleanor stood, but I had to suck in my gut like crazy.

  With a joking observation, “I’m impressed.” Eleanor winked.

  “You should be, I snagged my ass on the rear bumper I think.” I rubbed the area and felt my torn pants. “Oh my, I have ripped my pants!”

  El motioned me to turn and when I did, she gasped. “How are you planning to go in there with your grannies showing.”

  “Those are from Victoria’s Secret I’ll have you know.”

  El rolled her eyes, “I wish they sold them in my size.”

  We made our way toward the single story brick building that contained the Iosco County Court House covering my torn pants with my purse.

  We walked inside and my eyes peeled to the deputies. I froze and swallowed hard. “I hope you don’t have your pistol with you, old girl,” I whispered to El.

  “Nope. I know better than that!”

  “Move along!” a female deputy shouted. The woman looked at us suspiciously as she said, “Place your purses on the conveyor belt and walk through the metal detector.”

  “No need to be rude, dear,” I said. These people are playing hardball. I can’t blame them. It was a sign of the times.

  I placed my purse on the conveyor belt and walked through the metal detector, ignoring the snickers from the deputy on the other side. Obviously they had noted my ripped apparel. I grabbed my purse and held it behind me as I waited for El’s turn.

  When she trounced through the machine lights and sirens sounded.

  “Go back through!” the deputy shouted.

  She complied but not without a few words. “It’s that bullet that is lodged in my butt. Been there since Nam.”

  I wanted to slap her just now. Why can’t she be serious? This is no joking matter.

  “Empty your pockets.”

  She pulled out a roll of quarters from her pocket, placed them into the tray, and walked back through. The alarms sounding yet again.

  “Jesus.” Eleanor reached into her bra and guns were drawn by the deputies.

  “Freeze!”

  El stood with her hands raised. “It’s just my cellphone.”

  “She keeps it in her bra,” I replied.

  “You can take it out yourself if you’d like,” El said, licking her lips.

  Sheriff Peterson walked toward us with quite the scowl. “You two can’t do anything without causing a ruckus.”

  I shrugged while El’s eyes focused on the ceiling.

  Guns were put away and the sheriff gave the trio of deputies a nod of approval. I gaped in shock; they deserved a verbal tongue lashing in my opinion for pulling a gun on defenseless senior citizens like us. What nerve!

  El joined me, setting no further alarms off. She retrieved her cellphone and put it back in her bra with a wink in the deputy’s direction.

  “Show off,” I said.

  El pranced off, ignoring the barb. We were escorted to the district courtroom where the hearing was taking place. We crept to the front bench behind the widow well within earshot of the proceedings.

  Judge Gayle McDonald sat on the raised bench, her heavy framed glasses resting on the bridge of her nose. “It’s my understanding that this is in regards to your late husband’s remains. A Mr Herman Butler?”

  “Yes, Your Honor,” Betty Lou Butler replied.

  She was dressed in a cream-colored business suit with skirt. Her hair was even brighter than it was when we saw her last night at the Hidden Cove.

  “What is your objection to the funeral exactly?”

  “I want him cremated, but some Butler Foundation says that’s not possible.” She laughed nervously. “He was my husband. He was not married to the Butler Foundation.”

  There were deep furrows that appeared in the judge’s brow. “When did you get married?”

  “The day before he died.”

  “There is a pending investigation, Your Honor,” a lawyer across the room stated.

  “That has no bearings over this case unless Herman Butler’s remains haven’t been released yet by the medical examiner.” She cleared her throat, “well, have they?”

  “No, and we plan to file paperwork that is related to this case.” He took a sip of water.

  “Related to the means of burial?”

  “Yes, Your Honor,” the lawyer stated. “It’s unclear if Mrs. Butler is aware of the type of inheritance that was involved with the Butler Mansion.”

  Glancing from behind her glasses, “And what prevented you from filing the paperwork?”

  The lawyer pulled at his shirt collar.

  “May I please approach the bench, Your Honor,” a voice asked from the front bench behind the nervous lawyer.

  “And you are who?”

  “Andrew Hart.”

  Andrew stood dressed in a blue suit that hugged his body like an embrace. Wishful thinking on my part, Agnes thought. She wished a few more things, but that’s not possible with Andrew’s availability up to question.

  “Are you part of the legal team?”

  “I am an interested party. I represent Herman Butler’s daughter.”

  “You may approach.”

  He approached with the stuttering lawyer and Betty Lou who, from the looks of it, was representing herself. What is that saying about having a fool for a client?

  “I can’t hear anything,” Eleanor whispered.

  “I think that’s the point.” I put a finger near my lips. The last thing I wanted was to be booted from court.

  The trio moved back to where they were before and waited as the judge took her glasses off. “There is yet another cross-complaint in this case and it’s with a heavy heart that I must adjourn this matter until this afternoon, two o’clock.” She took a drink of water from a glass on the bench.”

  “Cremation,” Betty Lou reminded her.

  “I’m here to carry out the law, Mrs. Butler, not make judgment calls,” the judge replied. “I’m not sure why you didn’t retain a lawyer, Mrs. Butler, but I’m sure you were advised to do so when you filed.”

  The judge slammed the gavel down to signify the adjournment of court, retreating to her chambers. Eleanor and I waited while the courtroom cleared and as Andrew passed us by, he winked.

  My heart fluttered. “Oh my.”

  “Not the actions of an uninterested man,” El observed.

  “I wonder…”

  We walked out and decided to stay put for the time being as cars filed out of the lot. When a fair amount had, we made our way and were stopped by a beaming Andrew.

  “You two up for lunch.”

  “I-I—”

  “Sure, but Aggie ripped her pants earlier and needs to go to the campground and get fresh clothes.”

  I had to bite my tongue. Fresh indeed.

  “Campground?” Andrew asked. “You’re still there?”

  “Why would you think otherwise?”

  “They sure are slow at rebuilding your house.”

  “It’s not been that long since you left town, remember?”

  “I do, believe me. I remember it well.”

  He eyed me suggestively to which I sighed. “Okay, so where do we meet you for lunch?”

  “Not at Kentucky Fried Chicken I hope,” Eleanor laughed.

  “Good times,” Andrew laughed. “How about Whitetail Café?”

  “We’ll meet you there.”

  “Can I ride with you Andrew?” Eleanor asked. “You can meet us there once you get changed okay, Aggie.”

  “Whatever.”

  I walked away and thankfully, the car parked on the driver’s side was gone. I hopped in and drove home changing into white
pants and a button up shirt, sliding my feet into white pumps.

  Since Andrew had left town, I felt like the wind had been sucked out of my sails. It’s embarrassing to say I even let myself go. I quit monitoring my diet and put on a good ten pounds. Not something that I’m proud of mind you. Gaining weight at my age just wasn’t a good thing. It’s hard enough for me to do the occasional walk around the campground, something I enjoyed until witch lady parked across from me that is. My hip was an ever-present reminder that I’m no spring chicken. I knew that, but I’m not ready to accept inactivity any time soon or orthopedic surgery.

  I arrived at Whitetail Café ten minutes later. There was a whitetail deer head painted on the plate glass window. As I strolled inside, I found Andrew and El easy enough as it was a small place.

  I cleared my throat, but Eleanor didn’t move. Obviously she was content with sitting across from Andrew.

  Andrew smiled, patting the chair next to him. I opted to sit next to Eleanor instead. His eyes met mine and I wiped my sweaty palms on my slacks. My chest ached too. I breathed deeply of the cologne that Andrew wore. Why that alone would send any woman to swoon. I’m so glad I’m not that type of woman or I could be if he showed the least bit of interest, if he wasn’t married that is.

  “That didn’t take long.”

  Eleanor snickered. “She’s a fast dresser.”

  “She’s fast when she gets undressed,” Andrew added.

  I about choked. “I don’t think I like where this is going.” I was suddenly hot all over like I was having a hot flash, something I hadn’t had for years.

  “No?” Andrew positively beamed.

  Changing the subject, “So Herman Butler has a daughter?”

  “Yes, and I’d rather not talk about this right now.”

  I eyeballed him, “And why is that?”

  “Because I promised her I would conduct this case with some discretion.”

  “So I guess this means you haven’t filed the paperwork yet, but I still wonder why she wouldn’t want to show in court.”

  “Why are you giving me a hard time here?” He laughed.

  “I-I d-don’t know.

  I had hoped to do a real investigation here and it seems like if they cremate Herman Butler it’s a crap shoot to prove he may have died under mysterious circumstances.”