Madison Johns - Agnes Barton 02 - Grannies, Guns and Ghosts

by Madison Johns

  “It’s mysterious alright,” Eleanor said. “Like how did Betty Lou fit him through the window.”

  “I meant if foul play was at hand.”

  Andrew nodded. “Seems like a good call on your part, Aggie.”

  “You’d think she’d have stayed married a bit longer before she decided to off her husband though,” I added.

  Andrew rubbed his chin, and just then, a young man approached and set an ice tea down promising our food would soon be ready. “Hey wait, do you still make those delicious chocolate shakes with whipped cream?”

  “We sure do.”

  “Then bring one for the lady here.” He smiled. “Your favorite if I recall correctly,” Andrew said.

  I squirmed uncomfortably in my seat, “Thanks, Andrew.” I touched his arm for a second and yanked it back like it was on fire. It sure lit one inside of me.

  I yawned, taking a sip of tea while I awaited the shake. I hoped it would rejuvenate me. “I wish there was someway we could get them to do an autopsy.”

  “That is strange indeed. I wonder how they expect to find a cause of death without one.”

  “Exactly my point.” I leaned forward. “Oh, you didn’t know that tidbit of info Andrew? I thought your client should have that information seeing as how she’s Herman’s daughter.” I smiled smugly.

  “He has a wife or did you forget? She’s more privy to information than my client.”

  I leaned forward. “I heard Betty Lou was locked out of the mansion.”

  Andrew took a sip of water and then answered. “Really? By whom?”

  “I’m unclear right now, but it wasn’t the sheriff.”

  “Hmm, that’s odd. The Butler Foundation hired Mr. Simpleton.”

  I cracked a smile at that. “Mr. Simpleton?”

  “The other lawyer at court today.”

  Eleanor rubbed her hands together. “Wow, now the plot thickens.”

  I sighed. “I don’t understand why the Butler Foundation is so insistent that Herman be buried at the family cemetery.”

  “Or that they would lock the widow out of the house,” Eleanor added. “If they were responsible that is.”

  I leaned forward. “El’s right. How does the Butler Foundation have the power to oust the widow and so quickly?”

  “All good questions. I see you two are headed in the right direction.”

  Our food was set down and the young man disappeared back to the kitchen. I stared down at my hamburger and French fries and realized there was no ketchup. Before I had a chance to react, Andrew grabbed one from the next table and handed it to me. I sipped my chocolate shake and licked the whipped cream from my lips before saying, “Thanks.”

  Eleanor said between bites of her tacos, “It’s a setup.”

  I shrugged. “Peterson isn’t worried so what can we do?”

  Andrew’s face tightened. “So Peterson is up to the same ole thing then?”

  “He says, ‘he’s keeping an eye on her’.”

  “Maybe he is, why else would he be at Hidden Cove last night?” Eleanor asked.

  “Except for the fact he goes there every Wednesday. I wonder why?”

  Andrew arched a brow, “Trouble at home perhaps?”

  “Hopefully not. Aggie sent Stacey to distract him. I’d hate to think his wife found out he was hanging out with the wax queen.”

  I glared at her but before I could say anything…

  “Wax queen,” Andrew asked. “I’d rather not know the details. I’d hate to be an accessory.”

  “You’re guilty by association.”

  “You’re probably right, old girl,” he winked.

  I wasn’t sure, but knowing Peterson the way I did, I’m just not inclined to believe he would change his tune this quick. We were not what you’d call friends or even allies.

  We ate our food and returned to the courthouse, this time we sat in the front. We all stood as Judge McDonald entered the courtroom and sat down behind the bench.

  I felt a little catch in my throat when she spoke.

  “I’m recessing until Monday morning.”

  “But that’s in three days!” Betty Lou shouted.

  “Mrs. Butler, no more outbursts in court or you’ll be cooling your heels in jail for the weekend.”

  Betty Lou gingerly lifted her index finger.

  “You may speak.”

  “Will this put off the funeral?”

  “I can’t imagine how this might seem to you, but this is how the law works Mrs. Butler. I’m allowing the attorney until Monday to have the necessary paperwork or I will be dismissing this case.” She lowered the gavel and we filed out of court.

  As we left, I spotted Andrew talking to the other attorney and that mystery woman! I stormed past and El caught up with me outside. “Would you wait up, Aggie. I’m an old woman don’t ya know.”

  I whirled. “I’m old too, maybe a little too old for this kind of ruse.”

  Eleanor still panting, “Ruse?”

  “Yes, Andrew is playing hot and cold. He winks at me, but he’s with her!”

  I stomped away with Eleanor hot on my heels. “He doesn’t act like a man involved with another woman, and he might not be.”

  We arrived at the Caddy and within minutes, I barreled out of there like the Devil was chasing me.

  Chapter Thirteen

  I gripped the steering wheel as I drove, trying not to think about Andrew and that woman! After lunch it was really too much. There he was all acting so damn flirtatious and I was sucking it up like a fool.

  Eleanor interrupted my dark thought pattern. “You need to just ask him outright if he’s involved with another woman.”

  I groaned. She knew me too well. “I’m not doing that! Geez, El, I know when a man isn’t interested.”

  El chuckled. “He looks interested alright. Maybe we should find out who that woman is.”

  “Maybe we should find out who and what the Butler Foundation is?”

  “They contribute quite a bit to the community.”

  “So does every other crook,” I pointed out.

  El fanned herself. “Aggie, you need to cool down and get your bearings, like where do we go from here?”

  My bearings, huh? “I just want to go back home and relax before sundown.” I smiled with devilish intent.

  “Why sundown?”

  “Because we’re gonna be doing a little investigating.”

  She giggled. “Like where?”

  “I’d love to get into the Butler Mansion.”

  El rubbed her hands together. “Or take a look around the cemetery.”

  “I dare say we’d break a leg out there in the dark.”

  “How we gonna get in the Butler Mansion? Somebody has to be living there.”

  “Why don’t you buzz your maid friend and get the low down.”

  El’s raised her voice an octave. “Oh, I don’t know. She might not want to get involved further.”

  “Why not? She was the one who called us to begin with.”

  “When folks turn up dead things can get mighty tense. She might be under investigation too. She was there that night too, you know.”

  I made the turn and parked in my camping site. When we were walking inside loud music was blaring from Leotyne’s campsite. Eleanor waved at her and received a wave back. In her hand, she held a blood red wineglass. I thought it might be a good time to make peace with my new neighbor, so I strolled over there.

  Putting my hand out, “I’m Agnes Barton.”

  She pointed her finger in my face. “The Devil w-will s-see y-you soon,” she sung.

  My teeth chattered and as I turned the other cheek—tripped over a log—and knocked over a pot that was cooking over the campfire. I whirled and stood helpless as flames shot across the grass, and caught the fabric Leotyne had draped across her camper. I waved my arms frantically, “Watch out, Leotyne!”

  “Oh shit,” Eleanor ran around in circles. “Look what you did. Somebody call 911!”

&nb
sp; Leotyne screeched, waving her hands in the air as I looked for something to put the fire out with.

  “Stop it, Eleanor! Get something to put out the fire!”

  Minutes later, I grabbed my sun tea and threw it on the flames.

  “We need more sun tea!” El exclaimed. “Where is the fire department when you need them?”

  It seemed like hours before they did show up, which might have only been fifteen minutes later as we so busy throwing whatever type of liquid on the fire that wasn’t flammable. All the while Leotyne bellowed bloody murder. Sure few fellow campers helped out, but the majority just watched from a comfortable distance.

  Suddenly we were propelled backward as a fire hose sprayed across the camper, extinguishing the flames. Finally, I thought as we were pounded to the ground.

  El and I were both wet as drowned rats and were laying in a mud puddle created by the water from the hose. I struggled up and just then, a flash went off.

  “This will be great front page material,” a girl’s voice bellowed. The teenager, batted her eyelashes at the firefighter, Curtis, who for lack of a better word had no clue he was calendar ready.

  “If I was ten years younger I’d be calling in false alarms all the time,” I whispered to Eleanor.

  From behind cupped hands. “They can charge you for that sort of thing,” El said.

  “Sorry ladies,” Curtis called over.

  We shrugged like it happened all the time just as Peterson trudged in our direction, glancing first at us and then the gypsies trailer. “Should I even ask?” he slapped his hand across his face. “So much for me getting home early today.”

  “That is just too bad,” I said. “Things happen and you just have to deal with it.” I curtly nodded in his direction.

  Leotyne raced forward screaming, “That woman,” pointing her scrawny finger in my face, “set my trailer on fire!”

  My hands went to my hips. “I did no such thing.”

  Eleanor bit her lip. “You kinda did, Aggie.”

  I turned on her. “W-Well I didn’t mean too.” I pleaded with the sheriff. “It was just an accident. If that witch there hadn’t been singing her devil songs to me, I’d have never knocked over that pot!” I gasped.

  “It was pretty funny though,” El laughed and then bit her lip when I glared at her.

  “Some sidekick you are.” My eyes went to slits now. “I have a mind to never speak to you again.”

  “I have a half a mind to haul you off the jail to sort this out,” Sheriff Peterson said.

  “No, you just have half a mind. She was singing ‘the Devil would see me soon’. Isn’t there a law against putting curses on folks?”

  “No, I don’t believe there is,” he smirked.

  “How was I supposed to know that the fire could spread so fast, all I did was knock a pot over. It only caught the fabric on her trailer and was put out rather quickly.”

  “Yes, well we haven’t gotten near enough rain this year,” Peterson reminded me.

  “That’s true, Aggie,” Eleanor nodded her head like some kind of bobble head.

  “Sheriff, if you want to haul me off, go ahead, but I swear it was an accident.”

  “I’m not doing that,” he hissed. “I was just trying to scare you.”

  El’s face got real white. “You shouldn’t do that, don’t you know Aggie is a frail old woman.” She slapped her chest. “Her ticker isn’t all that good.”

  “She’s like a ticking time bomb.”

  I winced and sat on the picnic table while the fire truck whirled away. Peterson was there quite a while taking the report and talking to a variety of witnesses none of whom could remember how the fire started and Eleanor was playing dumb. I sigh in relief at that. I understand the man is just doing his job, but I hoped this escapade wouldn’t land me in jail! Our personalities sure clash!

  Chapter Fourteen

  When Peterson left, I staggered into my camper where I retrieved my shower supplies and traipsed to the campground shower. I was in a dark mood and very irritated that Eleanor couldn’t shut her mouth. I had no clue if she had left for home or not. The spray of the water did little to relieve the pain as my hip had begun to throb. I’m fairly certain it was because of the fall to the ground El and I took.

  Afterward, I stood in front of the mirror and tried to get my hair into some kind of order. “What is wrong with you, Agnes Barton?” I asked out loud. For once in my life I wanted something I couldn’t have. Andrew. It was just like the old days when I worked for him, but he was married then. Problem was that he had promised to come back to town, but never called when he was back.

  I wore a denim dress that was well above the knees, but who cares… not me. I limped back to my campsite and just like I figured the manager, Henry, was waiting for me. El’s Caddy was nowhere in sight either to which I frowned. I hadn’t meant to get harsh with her.

  “Agnes,” Henry shuffled his feet. “I know the fire wasn’t your fault and all, but you need to cool it okay. I’d hate to put you out of the campground.” With nothing more to say, he walked back to his office.

  I went inside and passed out on the bed with the sound of Duchess purring me to sleep. It was quite a bit later before I woke to a terrible scratching sound. I went to see what was happening. Duchess was batting the mouse around, jumping over the table and countertop in her excitement, sending paper cups and chips tumbling to the floor. “Stop it, you crazy cat,” I shook my balled fist at her.

  I vowed first thing tomorrow to see about the construction of my house. I’m not sure how much longer I can tolerate living in cramped quarters.

  I glanced outside and nearly had a heart attack as Eleanor had her hands cupped, looking in my window. When I opened the door, Eleanor moved past me carrying two large bags.

  I smiled. “I smell Chinese food.”

  “I thought you might be ready for a treat.” She frowned. “You still mad at me?”

  “Me? Mad at you? That would be a complete waste of time.”

  Eleanor scanned my clothing. “I don’t think I have ever seen you in denim before. It suits you.”

  Eleanor wore black shorts and shirt, a stark contrast to her fair skin.

  “Are we going somewhere?”

  With fingers into claws, “I thought we was planning to check out the Butler Mansion?”

  “I’m not sure I’m up to it. My hip’s hurting.”

  El belched and giggled. “Oops, sorry. We can do a drive by at least, can’t we?”

  “Drive by? I love you El, but I’m not going to prison with you. I’m too old to be someone’s bitch.”

  She nearly fell off the couch at that. “No, you’d be running the show.”

  “Not so sure about that one. It seems like you’re more in control than me lately. What gives?” I took a bite of my egg roll.

  “Not much to tell, my nemesis is out of town for the whole month.”

  “No Dorothy Alton to raise your blood pressure or get into daily fist fights. It’s going to be one boring summer.” I snapped the tab of my Diet Coke. “How about in the man department?”

  She slouched her Coke and as it dripped to her chin. I handed her a napkin. “I’m working on it, how about you?”

  I waved my hand. “I gave up on that.” I forked in a mouthful of orange chicken. “Don’t even mention Andrew. That’s a done deal.”

  “Done how?”

  “I’m over him and his crap!”

  “I’m good with that, but you might be interested to know that—”

  I pounded my fists on the table. “I don’t want to talk about him anymore.”

  “Fine, fine, but Agnes Barton, you’re the most stubborn woman I have ever known.”

  “So are you,” I laughed. “I can be, but it’s all with good reason.”

  “Agnes Barton’s way.”

  A knock at the door interrupted us. When El whipped the door open, Teresa, the maid from the Butler Mansion stood there. She was pale as a ghost and trembling s
omething fierce.

  “Come in, dear,” El said.

  She walked in and took a seat. “The house is real empty now, but I still work there.” She glanced at her shoes briefly. “It kills me to know that dust is gathering and I’m locked out.”

  “Who ordered the lockout?”

  “The state police. Not even the Butler Foundation has access right now.”

  My eyes swept over her, “And how would you know?”

  “Word travels fast in a small town.”

  I nodded glancing over the sweat beading on Teresa’s brow. “I bet, so what did you come here for? I’m guessing it wasn’t to discuss dust or the foundation.”

  She glanced up, “My no, i-it’s just that I went out to get some cleaning supplies and drove by the mansion and…” She began to cry. “You know just to see if the tape had been removed and I found a body on the ground.”

  I leaned forward. “Who is it?”

  “I-I’m not sure, I was so scared that I came straight here.” She trembled.

  We jumped to our feet. “Did you call the police?” El asked.

  She shook her head. “I-I came here first, I just don’t know what to do.”

  “We better call 911 right away,” I said. “Sheriff Peterson wasn’t too happy when we didn’t call right away before.”

  “Oh, he’s never happy,” Eleanor scoffed. “But you’re right, Agnes.”

  “Still, I wonder…”

  Eleanor’s eyes practically glowed. “We could call him on the way, like from the driveway.”

  “That’s a killer idea.” Oops, maybe not the best choice of words, I thought.

  We hustled out the door and followed Teresa back to the Butler Mansion where we left our vehicles beside the driveway and walked towards the house as Eleanor called 911.

  It was dark now with a little light reflecting off the roof from the yard lights, but it didn’t quite illuminate the area where the body lay. It was hard to determine the sex or age of the dark shape sprawled on the ground.

  I turned to Teresa. “Do you have a flashlight?”

  Teresa shrugged, “Well, no.”

  “Shine the headlights on the body, Aggie,” Eleanor suggested.