All My Love (All #5)

by Natalie Ann

  Jordyn looked over and caught the guilty look on Drew’s face before he said, “What if she wants some?”

  “If Alec isn’t allowed to do it, neither are you,” Brynn told her brother. “Oh, I almost forgot. I found something on that design that was carved in Jordyn’s chest. Catch me later before you leave and I’ll let you know.”

  Jordyn turned sharply. “You asked Brynn to help?”

  “Yes. She knows more about that stuff and has more time on her hands to research things. I didn’t think you would mind.”

  “I could have done it,” Jordyn argued, except she wouldn’t have been sure where to even look for it.

  “It’s not a problem. Brynn doesn’t mind. I can’t wait to hear what she found out.”

  “I’m not getting my hopes up.”

  She was learning the hard way to not get too excited over any news. She hadn’t thought the design Drew found on the inside of the chest last week meant anything. After all, she’d seen it a few times and glossed over it as wear marks rather than something that was purposely put there. Upon closer inspection she realized that the design of interlocking circles was just too precise to have been a mistake and could have kicked herself for never realizing it before.

  When they were getting ready to leave, Brynn rushed forward and pulled them aside. “I’m sorry, I totally forgot about the chest. Anyway, that design is from a family-run woodworking company out of Texas. Very old and established. I’m not sure if it’s a lead or not, it could just be that it was purchased from them, or maybe it’s something more. Anyway, the family has been doing woodworking for over a hundred years. It’s worth looking into, don’t you think?”

  Jordyn couldn’t get her head around it. “I’m sure it’s nothing more than a member of my mother’s family buying the chest from them, and having it passed down through the generations.”

  “True. But maybe someone from your mother’s family is from Texas, or even still lives there.”

  “I guess it couldn’t hurt to contact them. Thanks, Brynn.”

  Brynn reached forward and gave her a one-armed hug. “You’re welcome, Jordyn. Anything I can do to help.” Then she leaned closer and whispered in Jordyn’s ear, “You’ve got our family, even if you don’t find anything on yours.”

  Turning her head now, Jordyn looked at Drew sleeping next to her. His family. She didn’t even know hers, and probably never would, and there she was being given one she never expected.

  She leaned on one elbow and trailed her finger across his hair ever so lightly as to not wake him and whispered, “I think I’m falling in love with you and I don’t know what to do about it.”

  Let Go

  “Drew, honey.” He felt a hand gently caress his face, then the top of his head. “Let go, Drew. Don’t be afraid, and don’t hold back.”

  He turned his head, expecting to see his mother next to him after hearing her voice, but what he saw was Jordyn running her hand through his hair, tears on her cheeks.

  Blinking his eyes some more, trying to clear his head, he reached forward and pulled her close. “What’s wrong?”

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

  “You didn’t.” He didn’t want to say that his mother was talking to him. He’d been wishing so hard to hear from her, to see her, and she finally made an appearance, only to utter a few words that made no sense to him. It was almost more frustrating than not seeing her for so long in his dreams. “Why are you crying?”

  “No reason.”

  He sighed. “Jordyn, people don’t cry for no reason.”

  She shrugged her shoulder against his chest. “It was a long day.”

  He knew that. For as much protesting as she did about the holiday not being a big deal, he had a feeling she was lying. Maybe it wasn’t the holiday itself, but everything she’d been exposed to today. “Want to talk about it?”

  “Not really.”

  She’d been quiet on the ride home and then later when they climbed into bed. He’d seen Ben and Presley talking to her and he knew Ben was just giving an update on Trent. Which was really nothing, but he was still letting her know he was working on it.

  Then he saw Brynn lean in and whisper something to Jordyn when they left. He saw the shocked look on Jordyn’s face and was going to ask her what it was, but decided against it. It seemed rather personal, and if his sister had wanted him to know, she wouldn’t have whispered it.

  “Too much for you today?”

  He didn’t want to let her drop the subject. He found she did that often and just bottled everything up inside. She needed to release all her feelings now and again. The more she held them in, the harder it would be. He knew; he’d been in her shoes. He was trying to help her through what he knew was a tough situation.

  “A little. Everyone was so nice though. They made me feel so welcome.” She ran her hand on his chest. “I can’t believe how many young kids there are there, or babies on the way. Brynn has a lot of nieces and nephews.”

  “Yeah. Everyone seems to have gotten married in the last few years, so they are all having kids fast. I guess when you get married a little later in life, you don’t want to wait. We both know how fast you can lose a loved one when they’re young.”

  “I never thought of it that way. No one really seemed that old to me though. Was I the youngest there?”

  “I think you were. I’m pretty sure Beth Malone is a couple of years older than you, but the rest of the women are all early thirties. The men all mid to late thirties.” He squeezed her side and felt her snuggle in some more. “I guess we were both the youngest there.”

  “Sophia and Presley are both due soon, right?”

  “Yep, after the first of the year. Kaitlin is pregnant again, too.”

  “She is? She didn’t look it.”

  “Brynn told me last week, so it’s still early. Why all the questions or comments on kids?” He didn’t know where she was going with this. It seemed so far out in left field.

  “I’ve never been around kids before. Grace was the first one I’ve held,” she confessed.

  He wasn’t surprised. “It showed,” he said, chuckling lightly.

  “You want kids, don’t you?” she asked suddenly.

  “Sure,” he said without hesitation. “Do you?”

  “I never thought of it before. I guess I do. I mean it’s the natural progression of life, right? Grow up, go to school, get a job, find a mate and have children.”

  He rolled his eyes. Only she could offer a summary of life that dull. “I would like to think there’s more to it than that.”

  “You’re right. You’re showing me there is. Thanks again for that.”

  “You do a lot of thanking, you know?”

  “How about I show you instead?”

  He didn’t have a chance to respond one way or the other before she was sliding down his chest, her hand on the waist of his boxers and quickly pushing them down his legs. He guessed she was done talking now.

  Kissing her way around his abs and hips, she was slowly distracting him from talking, which he suspected was her plan all along. Not that he minded one bit. She could keep up this distraction for as long as she wanted, in his opinion.

  When she moved lower and took him in her mouth, his eyes all but rolled out of his head. “Jordyn,” he growled out.

  But she didn’t stop, not that he wanted her to. He wasn’t even sure if he was trying to stop her. It was more of an encouragement for her to keep going and he was glad she took it as such.

  She kept it up, moving up and down, bringing her hands into play, doing all sorts of things to him that had his entire body humming on the bed. He should warn her at the very least. It was the right thing to do.

  Bringing his hand down to her hair, he started to tug her up, but she brushed him aside. “Jordyn,” he called out, only she shook her head and continued on.

  Closing his eyes, he had no fight left in him. She was working him over so far and so fast he had nothing el
se left to do but take it like a man.

  When she was done, she slid back up his body, laid her head on his chest and asked, “Did I do okay?”

  Was she kidding? She couldn’t tell? “Not bad. Maybe you need to try again and let me compare.”

  She half coughed, half laughed. “I’ll take that as a yes. It was my first time, so I wanted to make sure.”

  He shouldn’t have been surprised and was touched he was her first. More than he cared to admit. “Thank you.”

  “See, you thanked me too,” she said, giggling a little.

  “I can show you too.” He quickly rolled her over on her back, moving down her body the same as she had him. What was good for the gander was good for the goose, he decided, as he quickly discarded her panties.

  Two could play at her game. He started at her waist, then around her hip bones. She was so slim, yet so perfect to him. He’d always liked women with curves, but everything about Jordyn was just right.

  Parting her legs, he slid between them, bringing his tongue out for a quick taste, and then retreated.

  “Drew,” she said, almost a strangled sound coming out of her mouth.

  “Hmm,” he mumbled.

  “I didn’t tease you, so don’t tease me.”

  Oh, she wanted to give orders. He liked the tone she used right now. He liked that she was telling him what to do.

  “What do you want from me?” he asked. Could she tell him? Would she push aside her shyness and voice her desires?

  “What you’re doing,” she said, moaning slightly.

  Guess not. “I want you to tell me exactly what you want me to do to you.”

  Silence, not that he expected any different. He didn’t do anything else, waiting for her response.

  “Why?” she finally asked.

  “Because I want you to try something new. Come out of your bubble again tonight. Make it another first,” he suggested.

  “I’m not sure I can.”

  “Sure you can. Just say what you’re feeling.”

  He lowered his head and went back to work, hoping to get her to open up more. Hoping to get her to tell him.

  It didn’t take long, shorter than he expected, and he was glad of it. “Use your hands.”

  He slid his hands up her inner thighs, caressed her a bit, and continued to taste her as her hips started to push against him.

  “Your fingers,” she amended.

  So he did what she said, pushing one finger inside of her, moving his mouth around some more and building her higher, trying new things and seeing if he could figure out what she liked or if she would continue to tell him.

  “Right there. Just like that,” she said, ending with a moan.

  He’d figured that out himself, so he stayed right there, continued on, bringing her up, bringing her higher, spinning her out and letting her fall.

  Moving over to his side, he pulled her next to him, letting her snuggle into his chest again, her head on his heart, her hand on his waist.

  “Thank you,” she said quietly.

  “I thought I was thanking you.”

  “Yeah, you were, weren’t you?”

  He held her like that for minutes and then realized she’d fallen back to sleep. Brushing her hair from her face, he looked down at her and felt himself letting go.

  Then he stilled—his mother’s words coming back to him. “Don’t be afraid to let go.” He didn’t think he was afraid to, and he didn’t think he was fighting it. No way, not when he felt his heart drop to the floor at her feet.

  Afraid

  “I’m going to Texas on Tuesday.” Jordyn watched Drew turn his head suddenly and stare at her.

  “Tuesday, as in four days?”

  “Yeah.” She didn’t expect him to look so shocked over it. He almost looked upset. “What’s wrong?”

  “Why are you going? When did you find out?”

  “I’m going for work and I found out two days ago. I just finalized the plans today.”

  She carried over the mashed potatoes that she’d finished seasoning and placed them on the table, then sat down. She liked cooking dinner for him on Friday nights more than always going out to eat.

  “Oh. How long will you be gone?”

  “Just a few days. I tried to get a late flight on Thursday, but I couldn’t, so I’m taking the earliest one back on Friday morning. It’s only a short trip.”

  “Do you make trips like this often?”

  “If I need to. Most of my work is done via phone or email communication, but it’s a new contract and I need to go meet with the client and find out more about their needs.”

  She wasn’t sure if she should tell him what she planned on doing after her meeting on Thursday if she had time. That was part of the reason she pushed her flight off until Friday.

  “I wish I could go with you.”

  That surprised her. “Why?”

  He shrugged, and instead of answering her question, said, “Will you miss me?”

  She wasn’t sure what was going on with him. First his surprise that she was going away and now his question. He looked almost insecure about something.

  “I’ll be pretty busy,” she said and saw his jaw drop, then amended. “Of course I will. Wow, what’s up with you?”

  “Nothing.”

  For once she felt like the roles were reversed and she was pulling teeth to find out what was going on.

  The holidays were over, it’d been weeks since Christmas and she’d even let him talk her into spending some time with Brynn, Alec, Andy and Grace for a Christmas breakfast.

  Not only that, she went to Isabel Harper’s Christmas Eve night for a party that was hosted throughout the whole day. People just came and went and visited informally when they were done with work.

  She was proud of herself for not even fighting it this time, even though she wanted to. After Thanksgiving, she wasn’t sure she had it in her emotionally to expose herself to that lifestyle again.

  But she found she was wrong and was actually craving the time there. Seeing what it was like on the other side of the coin. Seeing how maybe a normal family operated around the holidays, rather than what she had growing up.

  “Drew, something is going on in your head. Tell me what it is. Did I do something to upset you?”

  Is this where things were going to start to go wrong? Was she trying too hard and now he decided it was over?

  They’d been dating for a few months now and she thought things were great, but maybe she was missing some signs. Maybe it was time she pulled back a little.

  “No,” he rushed out to assure her. “You didn’t do anything. Why do you always think you’ve done something wrong?”

  “I don’t know. I guess this is all still new to me and I don’t understand what is going on in your head right now. It’s a trip for work. It’s going to happen from time to time and it’s not like we see that much of each other during the week anyway.”

  “That’s true.” He stopped and looked at her, really looked at her, more than she felt comfortable with. Like he knew there was more going on.

  “It’s only work, right? Nothing else?”

  “What do you mean by that?”

  “I mean it seems awfully funny that you’re going to Texas and we found out that’s where the chest was made. Are you following some lead?”

  Damn him for being so intuitive. She wanted to do this on her own, but she wasn’t going to outright lie to him. “Texas is a big state, Drew.”

  “It is, and you didn’t answer my question.”

  She sighed. There was no use hiding it. “If I have time, I want to go talk to someone at the woodworking business. It’s a long shot, but I figured I’m only two hours away, why not make the trip and see if I can find anything out.”

  “I’m going with you then.”

  “No.” This was why she didn’t want to say anything. She knew enough about him by now that he would say that.

  She needed to do this on her own. She didn’t unde
rstand why he wouldn’t let her. She’d been on her own long enough in life, and she needed to stop depending on him. She was getting used to it and she needed to prove to herself she was still her own person.

  That way, when Drew decided he was done with their relationship, she could still rely on herself. She was positive he would tire of her at some point; she just didn’t know when. For now, she was enjoying it though.

  “It’s too short notice for you and I’m not even positive I’m going to have time to make the trip there anyway.”

  Which was very true. She didn’t know, and she was trying not to get her hopes up either. It was another long shot in a list of long shots that had led to dead ends.

  Ben still hadn’t heard from Patty. Then again, between the holidays and the birth of their son last week, she didn’t expect that looking into her situation was a priority for him.

  “Why don’t you want me there?”

  “What makes you think that?” she asked, looking away and feeling guilty.

  “I see it in your eyes. You’re afraid to say something to me.”

  Okay, this was almost a little too creepy. She didn’t expect him to see through her this much. She shouldn’t have been surprised, but part of her was. Seemed she’d lost the wall she’d always put up around people, especially Drew.

  “I’m not afraid of anything.” She reached over and began filling her plate with the baked chicken, then passed it to him. “Eat, it’s going to get cold.”

  He took the plate of chicken out of her hand and set it down without filling his plate. “What is going on?”

  She took a deep breath. “Listen, Drew. I’m going for work, and then I’m going to see if I can find out anything about the chest. I need to do this for me, okay?”

  “I get that. Why can’t I be with you though? Why are you afraid to let someone else in?”

  “I’ve let you in plenty. More than anyone else in my life. I need to prove to myself I can do this alone now.”

  “Really? Are we back to that now? Are we back to you not needing or trusting people? Where is this all coming from?”

  He looked angry now. His jaw was set and his eyes were hard. She didn’t understand what was going on and why he was getting so defensive about it.