Rock Chick Renegade

by Ashley, Kristen

  “What is it?” I asked stupidly.

  “Open it,” Nick smiled at me.

  I took it and ripped into it like a girlie girl (I did have a reason, seriously, his presents were the best). I tore off the paper and threw open the box.

  Then I froze.

  In it was a silver bracelet, a beautiful silver bracelet. It was made of hammered, matte silver squares each about an inch wide held together by smal links. Each square was different, some had etchings, some pieces of gold or copper soldered on to them. Four of them had stones of varying shapes, sizes and colors.

  “I had it made special,” Nick told me and started pointing, “that one’s blue topaz, your mother’s birthstone.

  That one’s garnet, your father’s. That’s peridot, for Mikey.

  The last one’s amethyst, for Reba.”

  At his words the weight hit me in the chest again so hard my body moved with the force of it. I leaned back and I felt Vance’s warm thigh against my back. My throat closed and my vision got blurry.

  “Nick,” I whispered.

  Nick looked at me then started talking fast. “Now, Jules, don’t start. If you start, I’l –”

  “Where’s your birthstone?” I asked, my voice soft and it sounded croaky.

  “That bracelet represents your family,” Nick explained.

  “Yeah. I know,” I replied, my voice stil sounding funny.

  “Where’s your birthstone?”

  “Your real family, Jules,” Nick said softly.

  I stared at him a beat then I slowly leaned into him, put my hand on his knee and looked in his eyes. “Yeah. I know,” I repeated. “Where’s your stone?”

  He just looked at me and the way he did made me start blinking, fast.

  I was not going to cry, I wasn’t. Not in front of Nick (who would cry with me, I knew it and I didn’t want that for him) and not in front of Vance (no way in hel ) and not in front of everyone at Fortnum’s who thought I was a head crackin’

  mamma jamma.

  “Here,” I said, pul ing the bracelet out of the box and throwing the box on the table, “put it on me.” I handed it to him and then gave him my wrist. I forced brightness into my voice and continued as if the emotional moment had never occurred. “I want to know where you got it. Your stone is emerald, right?”

  “Yeah, sweetheart. That’s right,” Nick murmured, his voice sounding funny too.

  “You’l take me there. We’l get them to put in another square. Okay?”

  “Okay,” he whispered.

  He fastened it on me and I shook my wrist around.

  “Beautiful, Nick. Perfect,” I leaned in and kissed his cheek, “thanks.”

  “You’re welcome, Jules.”

  I turned to Vance and shook my wrist at him. “See? Isn’t it pretty?”

  Vance grabbed my wrist which was shaking too hard for him to see anything and he held it fast. My eyes which were avoiding his moved to look at him.

  He was staring down at me. He had that “mine” possessive look on his face but that other look was there too. The look that clawed at my memory and made my heart skip every other beat.

  I stared at him, captured by the look, flipping through my memory cabinets to find the memory but before I could the look was gone.

  His hand twisted so that his fingers laced in mine. He gave my hand a gentle yank and I came forward. He leaned down and kissed me softly.

  “It’s beautiful,” he said when he was done kissing me and I was stuck staring at him again.

  “Wel !” Nick said from behind us and Vance let me go.

  That moment was lost too and I turned to Nick. “I gotta get to work. You two goin’ out tonight?” he asked, standing up.

  I stood up with him and I felt Vance move to his feet behind me then he got close.

  “No. The gang here is having a party for me. I’m not sure when and where but when I find out, wil you come?” I asked.

  Nick watched me a second not able to hide his surprise at any gang throwing a party for me. I had a slumber party once when I was thirteen. That was it. I wasn’t johnny-no-mates. I had friends and went to their parties but had only ever had that one party for me.

  Then Nick’s eyes moved to Vance. He stared at Vance for a few beats, did a slow smile and looked at me.

  “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.” He leaned in, kissed my cheek, shook Vance’s hand, grabbed his cappuccino then he was gone.

  I watched the door close behind him then I turned to Vance. “I have to get to work too,” I told him, feeling weird at what he’d witnessed, weird as in exposed.

  He nodded, his arm came around me and pul ed me to his body. Clearly Vance didn’t feel weird.

  “Don’t forget, you’re trainin’ with Luke at five thirty,” he reminded me.

  I shook my head. “I can’t.”

  “Why not?”

  “I have to go to the mal . Buy a party outfit.” Vance grinned. “Not sure Luke wil accept the mal as an excuse.”

  “I’m not sure I care if Luke wil accept it or not.”

  “Five thirty,” Vance said, stil grinning.

  “Crowe, I need to go to the mal .” It sounded almost but thankful y not quite like a whine.

  He didn’t answer my question, instead, he said, “I’l meet you at your house in time to take you to the party.”

  “We don’t know when or where that’l be.”

  “I’m sure we’l find out.”

  I was sure he wasn’t wrong. Most of the party planners were in the very same room and he worked with their boyfriends.

  “Al right,” I gave in.

  “Pack a bag. I want you at my place tonight.” That got a Grade Three flutter right off the bat. I wanted to see where Vance lived. I knew I shouldn’t want to but I did. I also wanted him to “want” me at his place. I knew I shouldn’t want that either but I did.

  And it was my birthday so I should get what I wanted.

  It was then my emotional Rottweiler started panting and whining.

  Damn.

  “Vance –” I started.

  “Pack a bag.”

  My eyes narrowed. “Seriously, you’re going to have to do something about that macho-speak.”

  “Jules, pack a bag.”

  I frowned at him. He stared at me.

  Then I gave in.

  “Al right, ” I said.

  He kissed me again softly and I was a bit disappointed at getting a soft, sweet kiss. Not that it was a bad kiss, not at al , but it was my birthday.

  When his head moved away, he was wearing his shit-eating grin like he knew my thoughts.

  “Later, Princess,” he said.

  Then he was gone.

  No sooner had he vanished then the Rock Chicks No sooner had he vanished then the Rock Chicks descended.

  “Let me see that bracelet,” Indy said, grabbing my wrist.

  “That’s gorgeous! I want one!”

  “I see you didn’t break up with Vance last night,” Jet said, smiling at me.

  “I did,” I told her, “he just kinda ignored me.” She was stil smiling.

  Whatever.

  “I have a problem,” I told them, “I need to go to work and I need to train with Luke at five thirty and then there’s the party and somewhere in between, I need to go to the mal and get a party outfit.”

  “You have a lunch hour?” Indy asked immediately, dropping my wrist.

  “You’re training with Luke?” Al y asked, eyes wide.

  “Yeah, but it’s only an hour,” I told Indy, “and, yeah, but against my wil ,” I told Al y.

  “Doesn’t matter,” Indy said, “meet us at Cherry Creek Mal . By Aveda. Noon. We’l sort you out,” Indy said.

  “But –” I started.

  “Noon,” Indy repeated.

  “I wanna train with Luke,” Al y put in.

  “Everyone wants to train with Luke,” Jet replied.

  We al looked at each other. Then we al started giggling.

&
nbsp; Once we were done giggling, Indy and Al y went back to work but Jet walked me to the door checking out my bracelet.

  I looked at her.

  I wanted to ask but I didn’t want to ask. I wanted to know I wanted to ask but I didn’t want to ask. I wanted to know but I didn’t want to know.

  Oh hel , I just went for it.

  “Jet?”

  Her head came around to look at me. I stopped and so did she.

  “Yeah?”

  “What’s it mean when I guy holds your hand?” I asked.

  Her fingers were around my wrist, they moved to wrap around my hand. “It means he likes you,” she replied.

  “What’s it mean when he’s a guy like Vance?” I went on.

  Her hand squeezed mine. “It means he real y likes you,” she repeated.

  “What’s it mean when he’s a known player and a guy like Vance?” I kept at it.

  She reached out and grabbed my other hand. “Jules, it means he real y, really likes you,” she said softly.

  I sighed. “I was afraid of that.”

  She smiled at me. “I told Roxie and I’l tel you, trust me on this, don’t fight it,” Jet said.

  My voice got low. “I have to.”

  “Why?”

  “I don’t know, I just do,” I lied. I knew perfectly wel , I just didn’t want to share.

  She nodded. “I understand.”

  I blinked at her. “You do?”

  “I’l tel you about Eddie and me sometime. Actual y,” she said, her eyes getting bright, “I take that back. Fight it. It’s much more interesting that way.”

  “For who?” I asked.

  “Al of us,” she grinned, “including you.” Hmm.

  That did not sound good.

  * * * * *

  The girls (and boys) and I swung into the doors at King’s only ten minutes late from my lunch hour. We’d just conquered Cherry Creek Mal and in the trunk of Hazel I had a new party outfit (with shoes); a new nightie to take to Vance’s on my sleepover; two new sets of very sexy underwear; a cute pair of cords I didn’t real y need; a couple of t-shirts I real y didn’t need; a fantastic new blouse I real y, real y didn’t need; and a serious new pair of ass-kicking boots.

  This was accomplished because it wasn’t just Indy, Jet and Al y who met me at the mal , Roxie, Daisy, Tod and Stevie had come with.

  I stood in different fitting rooms in different stores and they threw clothes at me. In came clothes, out went clothes.

  Some would go scout other stores and whisk me away on the trot if they saw something I had to try on.

  I didn’t need to train with Luke that evening. I’d had the workout to end al workouts at the mal .

  But my party outfit was kil er and the shoes were amazing.

  We’d al just made it through the door when May came trotting up to us, hands moving around in circles at her side, highly agitated about something.

  Oh crap.

  Oh crap.

  The minute she made it to us I asked, “Where are Roam and Sniff?”

  “What?” she asked, her eyes bright. “They’re in with a tutor, you gotta –”

  “They’re okay?” I asked.

  “Yeah, hon, you gotta –”

  “You look like something’s wrong. What’s wrong?”

  “I’m tel in’ you, you gotta –”

  “Is it one of the other kids?” I cut in.

  She put her hand to my mouth. “Hush, girl. You gotta come with me.” Then she grabbed my wrist but stopped and stared down. “Ooo, look at that pretty bracelet!” she exclaimed.

  “May! What’s going on?” I clipped.

  She snapped to and said, “Right.” Then she dragged me through the rec room, turning around towards my posse.

  “Hey ya’l ,” she said as if she wasn’t acting bizarre in the extreme.

  “Hey May,” they said, almost in unison.

  May took us down the hal into the shared office space.

  When the nine of us burst through the door everyone in the room looked up and stared.

  I wasn’t paying attention to anyone. On my desk was a beautiful bouquet of the most exquisite pale pink roses.

  I smiled, May let go of my wrist and I walked forward.

  “Holy crap,” Indy breathed.

  “Good God,” Roxie whispered.

  They al fol owed me to my desk and we stood staring in silent awe at the roses, such was their magnificence.

  silent awe at the roses, such was their magnificence.

  I dumped my purse on my desk breaking into the Rose Stupor and Jet said, “I would never have thought Vance was a flower type of guy.”

  “Me either,” Al y put in, “more like, edible undies.”

  “Al y!” Tod snapped. “Get your mind out of the gutter.”

  “I’m just saying what everyone’s thinking,” Al y defended herself.

  “They’re not from Vance,” I told them.

  Everyone looked at me.

  “They’re not?” May asked.

  I reached for the card and shook my head. “They’re from my Uncle Nick. He knows pink roses are my favorites.” I was a little surprised. Nick was super generous but a special y designed bracelet must have set him back a whack. A dozen pink roses especial y roses like this, perfect, so pale pink they were blush, every bloom total perfection must have cost some serious cake. They weren’t even a traditional bouquet with al that baby’s breath in a heavily cut, glass vase. There were just the roses with thin spikes of green shooting out here and there bending around the blooms and a simple, cylindrical vase that was pure class. The bouquet was a work of art.

  “Wel , that’s damned disappointing,” Daisy muttered from beside me as I gently touched a rose.

  “Your uncle is feeling generous this year,” Indy smiled at me.

  “Probably thinks she won’t see another birthday,” Stevie murmured.

  “Shh, Stevie,” Jet shushed him.

  “Shh, Stevie,” Jet shushed him.

  I slid my fingernail under the heavy cream paper of the card’s envelope and pul ed it out.

  Then I froze.

  There was only one letter on the card, nothing else. In black, bold pen it said, “V”.

  “Oh my God,” I breathed.

  “What?” someone said (I was too freaked to distinguish voices).

  “What is it?” someone else asked.

  I swayed a bit, al of a sudden light-headed and someone else yel ed, “Grab her! She’s going down!” I was pressed into my office chair, my mind started clearing and I heard Roxie say, “Get her some water.” Tod picked up a manila folder from my desk and started fanning me with it. “Deep breaths, girlie. Deep breaths. Do you think she should put her head between her knees?” he asked Jet.

  May swiped the card from my fingers. She looked at it and a slow smile spread on her face.

  “These ain’t from her uncle. Praise be to Jesus.”

  “Let me see that,” Daisy snatched the card out May’s hand. “It just says ‘V’,” she told everyone, her eyes big and happy. She looked around the gang. “How hot is that? That boy’s got class.”

  They were al looking at me grinning like fools.

  “I told him,” I whispered and then stopped talking.

  “What’s that, Sugar?” Daisy asked.

  I cleared my throat and looked up at them. “I told him about Nick giving me pink roses on my sixteenth birthday and how they were my favorites. It was a few months after my Auntie Reba died and how Nick and I had the first good night since she…” I stopped again and looked around them. “I told him,” I repeated.

  “Righteous,” Al y said softly.

  I felt something hit me then, something terrifying, a delayed reaction. I grabbed my purse, pul ed out my phone and shot out of the chair.

  “Jules –” Indy said my name, her grin had gone uncertain.

  “I need his number,” I announced.

  “What?” Roxie asked.

  “Give me his cel
number!” I shouted. “Who’s got his number?”

  Everyone started pul ing out their phones.

  “I have his number,” Indy told me.

  “I don’t have his number,” Daisy said, but she was stil digging through her purse as if she could help.

  “I wish I had his number,” Tod put in.

  “Here it is,” Indy said and recited the number.

  I punched it in then walked out of the room, down the hal and saw the blue room’s blind was closed. I went to the yel ow room, it was free so I walked in, shut the blinds, closed the door and put my back to it. Then I hit the green button.

  It rang, once.

  “Yeah?”

  “Vance?”

  “You cal ed me, Princess, who else would it be?” he asked, his amused voice was silk.

  “We have to stop seeing each other,” I told him.

  Silence.

  I waited. Then I waited some more.

  My emotional Rottweiler had torn free of his chains and he was barking, snarling, drooling, jumping around and ready to attack.

  When he stil didn’t say anything, I cal ed, “Vance?”

  “Why?” he asked.

  “What?”

  “Why?” he repeated, this time there was impatience in his tone.

  “This isn’t going to work,” I said, as if that was an explanation.

  “Why?” he obviously realized it wasn’t an explanation.

  Because I like you a lot. Because you’re beautiful and strong and make me feel things I can’t allow myself to feel.

  Because you listen to me in the moonlight like every word I say forms a drop of nectar. Because you’ve lived a shit life and come out the other side to be someone amazing.

  Because now you live a dangerous life with a scar on your back to prove it and I can’t afford to lose anyone else that means something to me, I thought.

  “I can’t explain it,” I said.

  “Try.” His voice was beyond impatience now, it was short and clipped.

  “Okay then, I’m not going to explain it because I don’t have to. It just isn’t going to work.”

  More silence and I could actual y feel the anger coming through the phone.

  Then he said, “You’re mine tonight.”

  My bel y fluttered. “Vance.”

  “Tomorrow it’s over. Tonight you’re mine.”