A Gift Freely Given (The Tahaerin Chronicles Book 1)

by J. Ellen Ross

  “Your body pleases me very well,” he said, running a hand from her shoulder down and over her hip.

  Leisha frowned. “No. What can I do to please you? You’ve done most of the pleasing so far.”

  It felt scandalous to say and he could not imagine asking her to do that for him. Not yet, anyway. But, while thinking about it, an old memory surfaced, betraying him.

  “I’d like to try that, but you’ll have to tell me if I’m doing it wrong.”

  “Damn your brain.” Zaraki gave her a crooked smile, relieved she did not seem angry or jealous at the memories of other women that his brain dredged up. Now that he allowed himself to think about sex again, it would likely happen again. For four years, his memories had been torture, reminding him of what he could no longer have. They clamored for freedom again.

  “Why would I be mad?” Leisha asked, cocking her head to one side. “They’re your memories and I have you now. They had their chances and failed to hold your heart.”

  “Every one of them pales in comparison to you,” he assured her, kissing the top of her head.

  Leisha laughed. “Of course they do.”

  After dinner, they lay together on the bed, full of stew and wine and pleasantly exhausted. When Zaraki started nodding off, Leisha kissed him and said, “I need to go see Symon. I’ll be back.” She pulled on a dressing gown and threw the robe around her shoulders.

  “Hurry and be naked when you get back in bed,” he mumbled. He had plans for tonight.

  Symon sat in his office, hunched over his desk, working late again. “Good evening,” Leisha said, stepping into his rooms. “Is the castle on fire?”

  He smiled at her and set down his quill. “No, Your Highness. It’s not.”

  “Are we being invaded?” she asked.

  “No, Your Highness. We’re not.” He sat back in his chair now, looking pleased.

  “Excellent. I’m extending our holiday a further three days.”

  He gave her a broad smile. “Very good. I’m very happy for you both. Do let the boy eat once in a while.”

  “Symon, thank you,” Leisha said, her voice full of emotion. “You were right. I was making it far too hard.”

  ***

  Over breakfast the next morning, Leisha broke her bad news to Zaraki. “I’m going to have to clip your wings, I’m afraid. I can’t have you going out alone anymore. As my lover, you’re a target.” At the thought of someone hurting him to get to her, Leisha felt an icy hand steal her breath away. “You’ll have to find someone else to do that part of your job.”

  Zaraki shrugged, used to her one-sided decision-making. “It happens to the best of us. I’ll ask Aniska if she wants to take over. I think she gets bored in the tavern all the time.” He made a mental note to visit Ani soon. As soon as he found time for actual clothes.

  “Of course, you don’t have to work, if you don’t want to,” Leisha offered. “You can just run your businesses.”

  “You still need me. We’ll see how Ani works out.” Already thinking how to divide the responsibilities, he thought how he would enjoy working closely with his friend again.

  Now Leisha looked at him shyly. “Also, I don’t know what the rules are on this, but we don’t have to keep separate rooms. Mine are obviously larger and far superior, and I have a tub. If you want, we can move your things there.”

  Such a simple thing brought a huge smile to his face. “Yes, let’s do it today,” he agreed.

  By the afternoon, Symon had mobilized a small army of servants to shift Zaraki’s meager collection of things over to Leisha’s apartments and to rearrange her space. It felt like the most natural thing in the world he should be here, fitting suddenly into her life. Leisha offered that he could keep his rooms as a refuge or work area, but he assured her it was unnecessary.

  On the last morning of their holiday, as they lay in bed together, Leisha said, “Today I’d like to go riding, I think.”

  “Oh, please no. I don’t want to lose you already,” he pleaded with her, his hands holding imaginary reins out in front of him awkwardly.

  She seemed unimpressed. “I can ride, you know.”

  “Just in an alarming and erratic way. Would you ride double with me? Capar can carry us both. The men can bring lunch with them.”

  Dressed, they walked together to the courtyard holding hands. When Zaraki asked Andelko to put together a detail of ten soldiers to accompany them on a trip outside the walls, the big man grinned. “The rumors are this is a private trip. Good for you,” he said, slapping his friend on the back when Zaraki hesitated. “You both took far too long to figure it out.”

  Zaraki wondered if he had kept his secret from anyone in the castle but Leisha.

  Several servants hurried to put together a picnic setting and loaded it onto a pack pony. Once they completed all the preparations, the guards mounted their horses and checked their weapons. The lands around Lida were hardly dangerous, but they took their responsibilities to heart. Zaraki knew even if Leisha did not, that she inspired unfailing loyalty in the people around her. Maybe because her smiles and praise had always been rare like diamonds.

  A groom led Capar out of his stall, while the great horse tossed his head, excited to be going out, sensing something different about this ride. Zaraki swung his leg up and over. He pushed himself off the back of the saddle and held out his hand. For all the castle to see, Leisha took it.

  Around the courtyard, people stopped working and watched the scene from the corners of their eyes. Some stared as their reserved and aloof queen swung up into the saddle and rested her back against Zaraki’s chest and he clasped an arm around her waist. Spymaster or not, he was no noble, and this was delicious and scandalous.

  Neither one bothered to smother their huge smiles as the party started out. They left through the main gates, winding through the city. People jumped out of the way of the horses and then stared, surprised to see their quiet, solemn queen grinning and laughing as she rode through the streets. The lieutenant stopped to speak to the guards at the gate and then the party turned towards the open lands south of town. It took no more than an hour to reach it. Zaraki let Capar run and Leisha delighted in the wind in her face and the feel of his arm around her waist. When he slowed the horse, she turned.

  “Thank you,” Leisha said, sounding hesitant and struggling to find words for what she felt. “Thank you for making me happy. It sounds ungrateful, but my crowns and castles don’t always. But you and this makes me happy.”

  Zaraki bent and kissed her neck.

  They had ridden to a long, rolling plain sloping towards the rocky shore below.

  “Let’s stop here. The view is lovely.” Leisha turned to tell the guards the same.

  Two servants hurried off their mounts to unload the pavilion they had packed on the little pony. In a few minutes, there was a small tent with cushions inside and food enough for lunch. They leaned on the pillows and ate fruits and bread on the ground. Zaraki dug around and found wine and glasses in the boxes the pony carried.

  When they finished, Leisha set her plate aside and stood in front of Zaraki. Gathering skirts up to her knees, she sat down on his lap, legs on either side of his. When he swallowed hard, she leaned in and kissed him, running a hand under his tunic and up his chest.

  “Here,” she breathed in one ear.

  “Where everyone can hear us?” he croaked, still unused to how this changed his life.

  “What do I care, Zaraki? Why should I? Why should you? What can anyone do? I’m not ashamed of this or of us. They’re my men out there and if they’re so scandalized, they can find someone else to pay them. Instead, they’ll hear and they’ll tell everyone their queen made love to her spymaster on a hillside. Let them.

  “Unless you’re too shy to perform for me,” she said, watching him. As she spoke, she unlaced his trousers, running her fingers up and down the length of him.

  “Woman, you’ll wish I was.” He rolled her over and stroked the insides of her thi
ghs. Cradling her head with the other hand, he kissed her and whispered in her ear, “I love the way you taste, the way your skin smells. I love the way your hips rise to meet mine when I’m inside you.” Her body began to tense and he kissed her again.

  She tore at his tunic, not caring about ties or buttons. His clothes came off with ease, but the dress was maddeningly complicated as he tried to free her from it with one hand. “I don’t care, I don’t care. Leave it,” she cried as his fingers skimmed over her skin, teasing her.

  “Please,” she breathed. “I’ll do anything, anything.”

  Zaraki sat up and pushed her skirts up over her hips. Hearing her beg drove him wild.

  The soldiers stood watch at a respectful distance and heard their queen’s joyful, exultant cries.

  ***

  The next day Zaraki sent a coach for Aniska and waited for her in the yard.

  “A carriage?” were her first words as she opened the door. “You know there’s no way anyone will ever believe I’m just a tavern owner now? Plus, look at how I’m dressed. Hardly suitable for a visit to the castle.”

  Zaraki laughed and hugged her in greeting. Her plunging neckline and striped skirts would cause a stir here. “As always, you look like a fine lady.”

  She pulled away to eye him. “A carriage? A hug? You’re in a very good mood. Better than you have been in months,” she said. “I’m guessing the rumors I’m hearing are true?”

  “Yes,” he said, grinning. Of course, Aniska already knew.

  “Oh, thank goodness. And now? You can’t possibly keep working for her.”

  He offered his arm and they walked inside. “She’s already taken away most of my duties. I need someone to handle visiting agents and running some of the operation. You’ll have to live here at the castle. Interested?”

  “Of course I am,” she exclaimed.

  Leisha met them as they walked upstairs. “Welcome,” she said in her low, quiet voice. “I hope you said yes.”

  “Thank you, Your Highness.” Aniska bowed low. “I did,” she said, feeling out of place in her tavern wear.

  “Don’t be silly. You look wonderful,” Leisha said, and Zaraki saw her lips twitch into a small smile. He loved seeing her reach out to people now, as she learned to enjoy surprising them with her talent. “I think Branik is in desperate need of more women.”

  While Symon hunted for suitable quarters for Ani, Zaraki showed her his desk and the piles of meticulous notes detailing every aspect of his work. They spent hours together figuring out how to divide the responsibilities between them both.

  Taking a break, Ani stretched in her seat. “I’m hearing strange rumors floating around town. Nothing I can point to specifically, but people are talking about some new men in the city. More fights breaking out, that sort of thing.”

  Zaraki frowned. “I’ll check with Andelko and see if the gate guards have reported anything odd. Have you met him?”

  “Not in any official capacity. I’m not sure this is anything to worry about or not. But we need to look into it.” They stood up to go in search of Andelko.

  Outing

  The invitation to attend the birthday celebration for Dumin, the longest-serving merchant guild master in Lida’s history, sat on Symon’s desk for several days before he showed it to Leisha. In the past, she always declined but sent a generous gift. Now, he thought she might be persuaded to attend as she learned to be friendlier.

  Two weeks had passed since the day in the gardens and the change was dramatic, without question. Everyone in the castle noticed it. While Branik had never been a dreary or sad place since Leisha appeared here, it had been a subdued, somber home.

  Now, she smiled at servants and thanked them. She had never been a tyrant, but she had never been a friend, either. And while she had always been fair and generous with everyone, she also remained aloof and distant. With Zaraki’s encouragement, she reached out and found people here loved her. Symon saw her extending tentative overtures of friendship to Andelko and Aniska and letting go of the stiff formality that defined her until a few weeks ago.

  An invitation to a party seemed like something Leisha might agree to attend and Symon wanted to encourage her newfound warmth and openness.

  Over lunch, Symon slid the folded, embossed paper across her desk. “It’s Dumin’s birthday in a bit over a month.”

  “I should send a gift,” she said, without opening it.

  “There’s going to be a feast and dancing,” he said, tapping at the invitation. “You do know how to dance.”

  Zaraki looked up from his plate. “Do you like it? I used to love dancing.”

  Flushing bright red, Leisha stammered. “I enjoyed it the one time I tried. Perhaps I should attend this. It might be fun. Would you like to go on an outing? Together, I mean.”

  Symon grinned as the boy blinked at her in surprise. It did seem very bold to announce to the entire city the queen had taken a commoner as a lover, even if most would know by now.

  “Yes, I think we will,” she decided. Eyeing Zaraki up and down she said, “You’ll need finer clothes to escort me. And new boots. Your old things won’t do. Symon, please get him a mark so he can go shopping in town.”

  “Of course. We’ll stop by my desk.” A mark would tell craftsmen the castle would pay for whatever the boy purchased.

  Zaraki shook his head in protest. “I have money.”

  “I know you do,” Leisha laughed. “But why not save it when you can spend mine instead?” When he frowned and started to object again she said, “I told you. This is all yours now. Branik, me, our rooms, my coins. I want to share all of this with you.”

  “I know, but I might as well spend what you pay me.”

  “Nonsense. It’s settled. Go into town and find things suitable to wear next to me.” Folding her hands together, she nodded and ended his arguing.

  ***

  Standing outside the castle gates, dressed in workman’s clothes, Fellnin had an unobstructed view into the courtyard. His clothes and stooped posture marked him as one of the lowest – a day laborer loitering about with the others, hoping to find work. Men such as this congregated here each day, so no one would notice or bother him.

  Branik functioned as any other castle might and this part of the job bored him. He noted the guards walking along the battlements. Yawning, he scratched as he watched servants moving through the yard, the craftsmen at work. If not for the chance at revenge, he would have tired of this assignment months ago.

  But then, his head cocked in surprise as the great black horse and his rider clattered across the cobbles. The pair passed under the portcullis and headed into town.

  Fellnin wondered where Zaraki would head off to with that insufferable, smug grin pasted across his face. Though he meant to stand a while to watch the guards and note their patrols, curiosity got the better of him, and he slipped back into an alley.

  Drawing his filthy cloak and hat down, he hurried to catch up to his brother. He shoved people aside, ignoring their protests. But after passing through the first fountained square, luck favored him and the crowds thinned. With fewer people filling the streets, he followed behind as Zaraki’s gelding picked his way through down through Lida.

  When his sandy-haired brother stopped at a cobbler’s shop, Fellnin rolled his eyes and groaned. He had hoped to find him engaged in something interesting. Some bit of spying perhaps.

  But no. Zaraki had descended from the castle to shop. To spend the coins he earned servicing the Tahaerin queen.

  Hunger tugged as his stomach growled and Fellnin eyed the small stall across the road. He could not reappear at the castle now. That would invite suspicions at a critical point in this job. And so thanks to Zaraki, he had wasted the whole day.

  But his brother looked so satisfied and happy.

  Fellnin could guess at the reason. He had an acquaintance, a well-paid informant in the castle. Two weeks ago, the soldier had gone on an excursion outside the city walls, escorting the love
ly Tahaerin queen and her spymaster to a rendezvous on a hillside. The man bore the tale back, hand outstretched for coins. News of the queen and her new paramour took Fellnin by surprise and he sent a letter to his employer that night detailing all he had learned.

  Now, he wondered why Zaraki would descend into town, when for weeks he had not left the castle grounds. Rumors said he rarely emerged from the queen’s apartments. Puzzled, Fellnin realized perhaps he could salvage something of the day.

  Ducking into the storefront, he stood with his back to his brother in the wide space of the shop. The air hung with scent of cured leather. Boots and slippers, elegant, fit for a noble – or a queen’s lover – lined the walls.

  “I’ll be with you in a moment, boy,” the craftsman said, peering over the shoulder of his customer and seeing a poorly dressed workman.

  Fellnin grunted and tugged at his forelock. Speaking would give himself away, so he stood out of the way and played the part. While the two men ignored him, dickering over cut and price, he sidled closer. Feeling reckless and rash, he grinned thinking he could kill Zaraki right now, here in this shop. Because for once, his perfect brother was distracted. He could have his revenge for all their years growing up. All the favor Father withheld from him.

  But his employer did not want that. At least not yet. He had been sent here to set a plan in motion. Murder would come later.

  Listening as Zaraki picked leather and dye color, Fellnin felt indignant rage build in his chest. The cost of the boots, the ease at which his brother spent money, it infuriated him. He risked a glance to one side and then recoiled as if slapped in the face.

  As Zaraki spoke to the cobbler, he fiddled with a large, metal coin, turning it over with careless ease. Two inches across, it glinted in the sun; silver worked around gold. Twirling through his brother’s fingers – a royal mark.

  “I need them for a party I’ll be attending next month,” his brother explained.

  Hearing the pause and seeing the way Zaraki shifted, evasive and uncomfortable, Fellnin froze. Attending. Not working.