Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and Zombie Jim

by Mark Twain

  "Who done it? We've heard considerable about these goings on down in Hookerville, but we don't know who ‘twas that killed Huck Finn."

  "Well, I reckon there's a right smart chance of people here that'd like to know who killed him. Some think old Finn done it himself."

  "No-is that so?"

  "Most everybody thought it at first. He'll never know how nigh he come to getting lynched. But before night they changed around and judged it was done by a runaway bunderlug named Jim."

  "Why he-"

  I stopped. I reckoned I better keep still. She run on, and never noticed I had put in at all:

  "The bagger run off the very night Huck Finn was killed. So there's a reward out for him-three hundred dollars. And there's a reward out for old Finn, too-two hundred dollars. You see, he come to town the morning after the murder, and told about it, and was out with ‘em on the ferryboat hunt, and right away after he up and left. Before night they wanted to lynch him, but he was gone, you see. Well, next day they found out the bagger was gone; they found out he hadn't ben seen sence ten o'clock the night the murder was done. So then they put it on him, you see; and while they was full of it, next day, back comes old Finn, and went boo-hooing to Judge Thatcher to get money to hunt for the bagger all over Illinois with. The judge gave him some, and that evening he got drunk, and was around till after midnight with a couple of mighty hard-looking strangers, and then went off with them. Well, he hain't come back sence, and they ain't looking for him back till this thing blows over a little, for people thinks now that he killed his boy and fixed things so folks would think robbers done it, and then he'd get Huck's money without having to bother a long time with a lawsuit. People do say he warn't any too good to do it. Oh, he's sly, I reckon. If he don't come back for a year he'll be all right. You can't prove anything on him, you know; everything will be quieted down then, and he'll walk in Huck's money as easy as nothing."

  "Yes, I reckon so, ‘m. I don't see nothing in the way of it. Has everybody quit thinking the bagger done it?"

  "Oh, no, not everybody. A good many thinks he done it. But half-baggers typic'ly ain't never harmed anyone, have they? Folks say he was as tame as they come, and most sensible for a zomby. Who can say how things go? They'll get the bagger pretty soon now, and maybe they can scare it out of him."

  "Why, are they after him yet?"

  "Well, you're innocent, ain't you! Does three hundred dollars lay around every day for people to pick up? Some folks think the bagger ain't far from here. I'm one of them-but I hain't talked it around. A few days ago I was talking with an old couple that lives next door in the log shanty, and they happened to say hardly anybody ever goes to that island over yonder that they call Jackson's Island. Don't anybody live there? says I. No, nobody, says they. I didn't say any more, but I done some thinking. I was pretty near certain I'd seen smoke over there, about the head of the island, a day or two before that, so I says to myself, like as not that bagger's hiding over there; anyway, says I, it's worth the trouble to give the place a hunt. I hain't seen any smoke sence, so I reckon maybe he's gone, if it was him; but husband's going over to see-him and another man. He was gone up the river; but he got back to-day, and I told him as soon as he got here two hours ago."

  I had got so uneasy I couldn't set still. I had to do something with my hands; so I took up a needle off of the table and went to threading it. My hands shook, and I was making a bad job of it. When the woman stopped talking I looked up, and she was looking at me pretty curious and smiling a little. I put down the needle and thread, and let on to be interested-and I was, too-and says:

  "Three hundred dollars is a power of money. I wish my mother could get it. Is your husband going over there to-night?"

  "Oh, yes. He went up-town with the man I was telling you of, to get a boat and see if they could borrow another gun. They'll go over after midnight."

  "Couldn't they see better if they was to wait till daytime?"

  "Yes. And couldn't the bagger see better, too? After midnight he'll likely be asleep, and they can slip around through the woods and hunt up his camp fire all the better for the dark, if he's got one."

  "I didn't think of that."

  The woman kept looking at me pretty curious, and I didn't feel a bit comfortable. Pretty soon she says,

  "What did you say your name was, honey?"

  "M-Mary Williams."

  Somehow it didn't seem to me that I said it was Mary before, so I didn't look up-seemed to me I said it was Sarah; so I felt sort of cornered, and was afeared maybe I was looking it, too. I wished the woman would say something more; the longer she set still the uneasier I was. But now she says:

  "Honey, I thought you said it was Sarah when you first come in?"

  "Oh, yes'm, I did. Sarah Mary Williams. Sarah's my first name. Some calls me Sarah, some calls me Mary."

  "Oh, that's the way of it?"

  "Yes'm."

  I was feeling better then, but I wished I was out of there, anyway. I couldn't look up yet.

  Well, the woman fell to talking about how hard times was, and how poor they had to live, and how bad the fissythis was spreading, and who was catchin’ it, and what folks was gonna do if they just kept on getting’ sick, and how the rats was as free as if they owned the place, and so forth and so on, and then I got easy again. She was right about the rats. You'd see one stick his nose out of a hole in the corner every little while. She said she had to have things handy to throw at them when she was alone, or they wouldn't give her no peace. She showed me a bar of lead twisted up into a knot, and said she was a good shot with it generly, but she'd wrenched her arm a day or two ago, and didn't know whether she could throw true now. But she watched for a chance, and directly banged away at a rat; but she missed him wide, and said “Ouch!” it hurt her arm so. Then she told me to try for the next one. I wanted to be getting away before the old man got back, but of course I didn't let on. I got the thing, and the first rat that showed his nose I let drive, and if he'd a stayed where he was he'd a been a tolerable sick rat. She said that was first-rate, and she reckoned I would hive the next one. She went and got the lump of lead and fetched it back, and brought along a hank of yarn which she wanted me to help her with. I held up my two hands and she put the hank over them, and went on talking about her and her husband's matters. But she broke off to say:

  "Keep your eye on the rats. You better have the lead in your lap, handy."

  So she dropped the lump into my lap just at that moment, and I clapped my legs together on it and she went on talking. But only about a minute. Then she took off the hank and looked me straight in the face, and very pleasant, and says:

  "Come, now, what's your real name?"

  "Wh-what, mum?"

  "What's your real name? Is it Bill, or Tom, or Bob?-or what is it?"

  I reckon I shook like a leaf, and I didn't know hardly what to do. But I says:

  "Please to don't poke fun at a poor girl like me, mum. If I'm in the way here, I'll-"

  "No, you won't. Set down and stay where you are. I ain't going to hurt you, and I ain't going to tell on you, nuther. You just tell me your secret, and trust me. I'll keep it; and, what's more, I'll help you. So'll my old man if you want him to. You see, you're a runaway ‘prentice, that's all. It ain't anything. There ain't no harm in it. You've been treated bad, and you made up your mind to cut. Bless you, child, I wouldn't tell on you. Tell me all about it now, that's a good boy."

  So I said it wouldn't be no use to try to play it any longer, and I would just make a clean breast and tell her everything, but she musn't go back on her promise. Then I told her my father and mother was dead, and the law had bound me out to a mean old farmer in the country thirty mile back from the river, and he treated me so bad I couldn't stand it no longer; he went away to be gone a couple of days, and so I took my chance and stole some of his daughter's old clothes and cleared out, and I had been three nights coming the thirty miles. I traveled nights, and hid daytimes and slept, and the bag of b
read and meat I carried from home lasted me all the way, and I had a-plenty. I said I believed my uncle Abner Moore would take care of me, and so that was why I struck out for this town of Goshen.

  "Goshen, child? This ain't Goshen. This is St. Petersburg. Goshen's ten mile further up the river. Who told you this was Goshen?"

  "Why, a man I met at daybreak this morning, just as I was going to turn into the woods for my regular sleep. He told me when the roads forked I must take the right hand, and five mile would fetch me to Goshen."

  "He was drunk, I reckon. He told you just exactly wrong."

  "Well, he did act like he was drunk, but it ain't no matter now. I got to be moving along. I'll fetch Goshen before daylight."

  "Hold on a minute. I'll put you up a snack to eat. You might want it."

  So she put me up a snack, and says:

  "Say, when a cow's laying down, which end of her gets up first? Answer up prompt now-don't stop to study over it. Which end gets up first?"

  "The hind end, mum."

  "Well, then, a horse?"

  "The for'rard end, mum."

  "Which side of a tree does the moss grow on?"

  "North side."

  "If fifteen cows is browsing on a hillside, how many of them eats with their heads pointed the same direction?"

  "The whole fifteen, mum."

  "Well, I reckon you have lived in the country. I thought maybe you was trying to hocus me again. What's your real name, now?"

  "George Peters, mum."

  "Well, try to remember it, George. Don't forget and tell me it's Elexander before you go, and then get out by saying it's George Elexander when I catch you. And don't go about women in that old calico. You do a girl tolerable poor, but you might fool men, maybe. Bless you, child, when you set out to thread a needle don't hold the thread still and fetch the needle up to it; hold the needle still and poke the thread at it; that's the way a woman most always does, but a man always does t'other way. And when you throw at a rat or anything, hitch yourself up a tiptoe and fetch your hand up over your head as awkward as you can, and miss your rat about six or seven foot. Throw stiff-armed from the shoulder, like there was a pivot there for it to turn on, like a girl; not from the wrist and elbow, with your arm out to one side, like a boy. And, mind you, when a girl tries to catch anything in her lap she throws her knees apart; she don't clap them together, the way you did when you catched the lump of lead. Why, I spotted you for a boy when you was threading the needle; and I contrived the other things just to make certain. Now trot along to your uncle, Sarah Mary Williams George Elexander Peters, and if you get into trouble you send word to Mrs. Judith Loftus, which is me, and I'll do what I can to get you out of it. Keep the river road all the way, and next time you tramp take shoes and socks with you. The river road's a rocky one, and your feet'll be in a condition when you get to Goshen, I reckon."

  I went up the bank about fifty yards, and then I doubled on my tracks and slipped back to where my canoe was, a good piece below the house. I jumped in, and was off in a hurry. I went up-stream far enough to make the head of the island, and then started across. I took off the sun-bonnet, for I didn't want no blinders on then. When I was about the middle I heard the clock begin to strike, so I stops and listens; the sound come faint over the water but clear-eleven. When I struck the head of the island I never waited to blow, though I was most winded, but I shoved right into the timber where my old camp used to be, and started a good fire there on a high and dry spot.

  Then I jumped in the canoe and dug out for our place, a mile and a half below, as hard as I could go. I landed, and slopped through the timber and up the ridge and into the cavern. There Jim laid, sound asleep on the ground. He always said that bein’ asleep was miles more peaceful ‘n being dead. I roused him out and says:

  "Git up and hump yourself, Jim! There ain't a minute to lose. They're after us!"

  Jim never asked no questions, he never said a word; but the way he worked for the next half an hour showed about how he was scared. By that time everything we had in the world was on our raft, and she was ready to be shoved out from the willow cove where she was hid. We put out the camp fire at the cavern the first thing, and didn't show a candle outside after that.

  I took the canoe out from the shore a little piece, and took a look; but if there was a boat around I couldn't see it, for stars and shadows ain't good to see by. Then we got out the raft and slipped along down in the shade, past the foot of the island dead still-never saying a word.

  CHAPTER XII

  It must a been close on to one o'clock when we got below the island at last, and the raft did seem to go mighty slow. If a boat was to come along we was going to take to the canoe and break for the Illinois shore; and it was well a boat didn't come, for we hadn't ever thought to put the gun in the canoe, or a fishing-line, or anything to eat. We was in ruther too much of a sweat to think of so many things. It warn't good judgment to put everything on the raft. If the men went to the island I just expect they found the camp fire I built, and watched it all night for Jim to come. Anyways, they stayed away from us, and if my building the fire never fooled them it warn't no fault of mine. I played it as low down on them as I could.

  When the first streak of day began to show we tied up to a towhead in a big bend on the Illinois side, and hacked off cottonwood branches with the hatchet, and covered up the raft with them so she looked like there had been a cave-in in the bank there. A tow-head is a sandbar that has cottonwoods on it as thick as harrow-teeth.

  We had mountains on the Missouri shore and heavy timber on the Illinois side, and the channel was down the Missouri shore at that place, so we warn't afraid of anybody running across us. We laid there all day, and watched the rafts and steamboats spin down the Missouri shore, and up-bound steamboats fight the big river in the middle. I told Jim all about the time I had jabbering with that woman; and Jim said she was a smart one, and if she was to start after us herself she wouldn't set down and watch a camp fire-no, sir, she'd fetch a dog. Well, then, I said, why couldn't she tell her husband to fetch a dog? Jim said he bet she did think of it by the time the men was ready to start, and he believed they must a gone up-town to get a dog and so they lost all that time, or else we wouldn't be here on a towhead sixteen or seventeen mile below the village-no, indeedy, we would be in that same old town again. So I said I didn't care what was the reason they didn't get us as long as they didn't.

  A bunderlug come along an’ I thought we was caught for certain. But then I saw this fella was buck naked and I knows full well that no man goes about buck naked unless he's out of his hat or dead. He was just freshly passed, this ‘un, an’ his skin was all rose red, still at a tint from the fever what kilt him. His eyes was all empty and the only thing he could speak was an oh-sound. Not much brains there at all. Not much of his self. But he din’ seem vicious.

  Naked I could see he wasn't no one's property. Not yet, bein’ freshly dead. No branding or nothin'. It be up to his family to sell ‘im, if he had any. Other'n that, the traders would get him. If he could be made to do certain tasks, he might be worth a few dollars. Certain agencies was startin’ to use baggers on work crews, ‘cause they din’ hafta pay no dollars in wages. That bagger went:

  "Oh, oh, oh."

  An’ Jim just waved him on. But he wouldn't go, and said:

  "Oh, oh, oh."

  An’ Jim picked up a couple rocks an’ hove ‘em at the fella. They hit him one in the head and one in the jewels, an’ that did the trick, an’ he shortly stumbled away.

  When it was beginning to come on dark we poked our heads out of the cottonwood thicket, and looked up and down and across; nothing in sight; so Jim took up some of the top planks of the raft and built a snug wigwam to get under in blazing weather and rainy, and to keep the things dry. Jim made a floor for the wigwam, and raised it a foot or more above the level of the raft, so now the blankets and all the traps was out of reach of steamboat waves. Right in the middle of the wigwam we made a layer of dirt
about five or six inches deep with a frame around it for to hold it to its place; this was to build a fire on in sloppy weather or chilly; the wigwam would keep it from being seen. We made an extra steering-oar, too, because one of the others might get broke on a snag or something. We fixed up a short forked stick to hang the old lantern on, because we must always light the lantern whenever we see a steamboat coming down-stream, to keep from getting run over; but we wouldn't have to light it for up-stream boats unless we see we was in what they call a “crossing"; for the river was pretty high yet, very low banks being still a little under water; so up-bound boats didn't always run the channel, but hunted easy water.

  This second night we run between seven and eight hours, with a current that was making over four mile an hour. We catched fish and talked, and we took a swim now and then to keep off sleepiness. It was kind of solemn, drifting down the big, still river, laying on my back looking up at the stars, Jim tryin’ harder to stay afloat, and we didn't ever feel like talking loud, and it warn't often that we laughed-only a little kind of a low chuckle. We had mighty good weather as a general thing, and nothing ever happened to us at all-that night, nor the next, nor the next.

  Every night we passed towns, some of them away up on black hillsides, nothing but just a shiny bed of lights; not a house could you see. The fifth night we passed St. Louis, and it was like the whole world lit up. In St. Petersburg they used to say there was twenty or thirty thousand people in St. Louis, but I never believed it till I see that wonderful spread of lights at two o'clock that still night. There warn't barely a sound there, except for the grumblings of stray dogs and resident baggers; everybody else was asleep.

  Every night now I used to slip ashore towards ten o'clock at some little village, and buy ten or fifteen cents’ worth of meal or bacon or other stuff to eat; and sometimes I lifted a chicken that warn't roosting comfortable, and took him along. Pap always said, take a chicken when you get a chance, because if you don't want him yourself you can easy find somebody that does, and a good deed ain't ever forgot. I never see pap when he didn't want the chicken himself, but that is what he used to say, anyway.